by D. Griffith
Chapter Five
It’s been a few days since I’ve got home from the hospital, I’m feeling a little better, still not a hundred percent. Darla and Carl are driving me insane, someone recorded me at their wedding singing and posted it on you tube, let’s say I wasn’t very happy. Since then I’ve been having email after email, people wanting to sign me. Told them all to get lost, that is not my thing and Darla and Carl are pestering me to consider it. Seriously, I’ve recently been shot and have lots to think about in my personal life, I don’t want any of that shit. Jared’s out of hospital now too, I’ve been getting updates from Andrew. I’ve wanted to talk to Jared, it’s taking all my strength and self-control not to, normally I’d have given in on day one, but I like to think I’m testing myself, it sounds better. I hear a sharp bing sound and a vibration, it makes me jerk a bit, has to be the phone, oh I know who that is, I say aggravated.
[email protected]: Hey, Danni, I know we’re both not a hundred percent, but I’m coming over later weather you like it or not! We need to talk. Don’t argue with it, I’ve not got the energy for that, at least not yet anyway. I’ll be over at eight, make sure Darla and Carl aren’t there, nothing against their presence but what we need to talk about, I can’t speak freely about it with other people there ok?
From Jared Hall.
Well, that was like a dagger to the heart, he used his full name, he’s never done that. Let’s not forget how demanding he sounds, all authoritatively, fair enough, anyone else, but me? I’m offended, oh, I’ll show him.
[email protected]: I presume you mean can I come over? Not, I am coming over. Therefore, I refuse you entry into my house without you asking. If you want to sound all demanding, then I will be awkward.
Yours sincerely
Danni Shaw.
That will show him ha. Feeling all proud of myself with that reply, I pretty much want to high five someone. There’s my email again. I raise my nails to my head and have the urge to scratch with this frustration. I know it sounds weird, but I always get itchy if I’m stressed, frustrated, angry and sad, all the emotions you can think of. So it’s pretty much all the time. I hesitate whether or not to open it, I do, the curiosity inside me always takes over.
[email protected]: Danni, this is serious and you know that, so stop being petty. Is it ok to come over at eight please? Also, why say yours sincerely? I think in the time I’ve known you, that’s something you don’t say, but if you want to be immature, be my guest. I don’t have time for that. Anyway, I don’t mean to sound demanding, but this is urgent.
From J
Much better, apart from calling me immature, but he is right. I shouldn’t be this cold towards him, but every time I think of him, I get this sharp shooting pain through my heart, that shoots to my throat and makes me take a big gulp, to stop myself from getting upset. That’s pain and hurt, two of the main feelings, I’ve become accustom to.
[email protected]: Can you come around for seven please? I’ll make sure Carl and Darla are out. But don’t expect me to cook, I can hardly move, I’m slower than a snail these days. Plus, being in a wheel chair doesn’t help. Well, when I’m rolling it myself, I tend to bump into everything. Anyway, back to topic. I’ll leave the door on the latch, so just walk in.
From D
“Darla, come here.” She comes rushing in from the kitchen panicking thinking I’ve hurt myself.
“Oh my god, what’s happened?”
“Nothing, I have to say, I love the new hair doo and the colour, what made you go chocolate brown? Mixes perfect with your complexion, I wish I had the guts to go all out on my hair, but I’m not spontaneous like that.” She gone for a pixie look, her slim tone, pale face and rose cheeks, it looks cute.”
“Seriously, Danni, that’s it? Don’t get me wrong, I love the compliments bitch but I thought you hurt yourself, don’t make me tip you over.”
“Sorry! Anyway, I need you and Carl to leave the house for seven, Jared’s coming over to talk and he said it’s private.”
“Is it about his wife and the big secret, which you still won’t tell me?”
“Yes it is and I can’t tell you with reason, not without his consent. Once he says I can, then you’ll be the first too know.”
“It’s ok, I understand, I’ll get Carl to take me to the movies and watch maleficent, I’ve wanted to watch that. How are you going to get around by yourself? You’re still weak.”
“I can get about slowly, plus I have to try harder to get stronger, if that makes sense? It does to me. I’m sure Jared will have Andrew with him and extra security, so if I need help I’m sure they will.”
“Right okay, but please try not get all stressed, you don’t want to inflame your wounds, I think that’s your phone, you best get it.” She walks off to the spare room skipping away like she eight, makes me raise a smile, she such a fairy, that’ll be Jared replying.
[email protected]: Thank you, I don’t expect you to cook, I don’t have much of an appetite these days anyway. Besides, we can always order. Don’t leave the door on the latch, after what happened, you can’t be too safe. I still have my key, I’ll let myself in. I will be bringing extra security with me though. I would ask could I bring them, but I would weather you said no or not, anyway its for extra protection. I will talk about it all when I see you.
From J
Knew he would, I know him inside out.
[email protected]: Ok, fair enough! I understand. One thing! Why are you emailing me, when either texting or even a phone call would be quicker? Oh and not to sound cheeky, but can you pick me a cold diet coke up please? I ran out, if you do, I promise I won’t go all crazy on you ;-)
From D
Maybe if I try keep it all smooth, it will help the stress levels. That’s the phone again, wish I could type that fast.
[email protected]: I thought you may have blocked my number, or ignored the call. So I know emailing, I would get a reply because that’s one thing you don’t ignore, especially it being your private one. Oh and by the way, you started a twitter? What does the blue tick mean?
From J
How does he know that? I only did it, well before I got shot, I didn’t think he had one. Has he been watching all of my activities?
[email protected]: You’re supposed to be young and you don’t know what twitter is? Anyway, talk about it all later, bye.
From D
Right, that’s sorted, now I need to try and make myself look human. All though looking this pasty, paint would do a better job. I should also consider getting out of these pyjamas.
I use my hands to grip the wheels, to wheel myself towards the bedroom, every push is effort and everything around me looks like it going in slow motion. I’m so glad this place doesn’t have stairs and luckily, it has a lift to get out side. I try an pull myself up out of the wheel chair, ouch that hurts. I’m trying to catch my breath through the pain; I grab onto my dresser to help my stamina and to help me get to my wardrobe. I take a step at a time and each step you can hear the clicking of my joints. As I let go to open the wardrobe doors, I lose balance and crash to the floor, hitting my head, ouch. I hear footsteps running in.
“Shit baby girl, what the hell are you doing?” He runs over, and picks me up and places me back in the wheel chair, damn, so close.
“I was trying to get dressed, then I fell, I hurt my head.”
“You should have called Darla, you duffus, are you trying to end up back in hospital?”
“No, but you know the doctor said I have to try and do some walking to regain my strength up, that’s all I was doing. Do me a favour; go and get me my light blue jeans and my black tank top.” He walks over to my wardrobe for me and goes routing through my clothes saying.
“Geez baby girl, you really need to update your wardrobe, so last season.”
“Who are you, gok? Just past them over here please.” He struts over and hands them over to me.
; “Here, I’ll get Darla to come and help you get dressed.”
“I’m not useless; I know how to dress myself.”
“Yes, I know, but you have just used all your strength up, so you’ll struggle. So suck it up, I’ll get her.” I’m growling on the inside, this is so frustrating, I hate feeling so helpless. Seconds later Darla flows through the room.
“Come on Danni; let’s get you in to them. I agree with Carl, we need to update your clothes, once you’re a hundred percent, we shall have a shopping day. Followed of a night of munch, some wine and watching supernatural, good old drool over them Winchester bros.”
“I like that idea, it’s a date.” We both giggle at are lameness.
Once I’m finally into my clothes, I start on my makeup. I don’t know why I’m bothering, but I also don’t want him looking at me like I’m a wreck, plus I need the colour in my face. Looking like Casper, doesn’t work for me.
*****
“Danni, your big ken doll is here or shall I say sex doll.” Seriously, she just can’t help herself; she just has to embarrass me.
“I’m coming, give me a second.” I have to brace myself before I go out there, as I know what’s going down. I slowly roll myself out to the lounge, as every roll is my last. I see him standing there with Andrew on his left and Phillip on his right. His hair is flowing as usual, seriously, he looks well and yet I look a wreck. What are the odds? He’s looking at me, but not in his normal way, as he’s normally happy and wants to pounce on me. Not today, he looks tortured and guilty. No one says anything, we just glare at each other, the stance is echoing and Carl breaks the silence.
“Oh ok, well this is awkward. Jared it’s good to see you, holler at you security dudes, Darla and I are out, smell you later. Oh and Jared, look after her, she’s not a hundred percent and she fell earlier. So make sure you watch her.”
“Of course I will, have fun guys, I have extra security outside, take one for your safety ok. I’m sure you have an idea why.”
“Bye, baby girl.”
“Bye, guys.” As they walk out the door, I’m thinking to myself, please come back, have this talk for me, I hate serious talks. He walks over towards me and kneels down so he is at my level. He scoops one arm under my legs and the over around my shoulders, so he can pick me up.
In one go, he has me up in his arms. I wrap my arm around his neck. I remember his smell, so delicious; damn him, this always feels right, self-control Danni.
As he’s walking me to the sofa, every step he takes, a piece of his hair falls an grazes my cheek bone, which sends shivers down my spine. My heart is yet again thudding hard and fast, its sounds like its taking over the room. He slowly places me on the sofa as if he drops me I’d break. He sits on the other side and grabs my legs, and places them on top of his.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, you’re looking good.”
“Thanks, I think! You’re looking well yourself, how is your wound?”
“Yeah, it’s healed practically; it wasn’t as deep as yours. Has your wound got any better? How long are you in a wheel chair for?”
“It’s healing slowly; hopefully I’ll be out of it next week sometime. I have to stay in here until it heals better and I get stronger. I hate it to be honest, but nothing I can do really, makes me feel helpless getting everything done for me.”
“Do you need anything? Drink, Food, Medicine, Massage?” bless him that bought a smile to my face.
“I’m ok thanks, but if you want to massage my feet, while there on your lap, feel free, strangely, it’s relaxing.”
“Ok, I hate feet, but for you, and well I have lots to make up for, I will. Not got a clue how too, I’ll improvise.”
“Jared, don’t you want to talk?” He huffs and looks down at my feet, as if he has nowhere else to look and hesitates at first. He gradually speaks up.
“Yeah, I was hoping to hold it of a bit longer, you know I hate talking.”
“Now that’s a lie, because usually, you’re giving me pep talks.” He turns to me not very amused with that comment, don’t know why, because I don’t think I said anything out of line, or did I?
“It’s strange being back in this apartment, after what happened. Danni, I need to know if you’re going to tell the inspectors about Sabrina? I know this is an awkward subject to bring up, I just need to know?” I stop him before he finishes that sentence.
“So you can hire someone to get rid of me?”
“What? No! Of course not! Don’t be stupid. I need to know so I can be prepared and if I need to go back to the states. To be honest, Danni, with her out there she could have already went. She’s not stable either, so god knows what she plans on doing next. I just need to know are you? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to put the pressure on you” I scalp him with my eyes, up and down his body. I meet his eyes and normally I would sink into them, but for once, not this time.
“Jared, I may have lost faith in you, but I still love you and I would and will always protect you, so no. I’ve not gone, nor will I ever go, so you don’t need to worry about that. Although, with your permission, I would like to tell Darla and Carl, they know something is up, they won’t say anything. I just could do with talking to someone else about this to help. While we’re on the subject you need to know, there is more to it. Before you walked in, she was going on about following you around and when you met me, she started obsessing more. She was the brains behind Dillon, she organized for him to escape and come after me, she also organized the hit on Alex and Andi. Mental, if you ask me. Turns out, we both have fucked up exs.”
“You’re kidding me? I will sort this out, she went too far, I will bring her down, but she invisible, because she was down as dead, she unknown and could be down as anyone.”
“Find out and bring the bitch down, I’d do it myself, if I knew where to start.”
“That’s a first, Danni; you’re normally fighting me on this.”
“Yeah well, only so much one girl can take before she bites back, I want revenge.”
“Fair enough, but you know I won’t let you.”
“I know! Look about you and I, I’ve done so much thinking and I just can’t Jared. It’s not about your secret either, that I can handle. You lied to me and didn’t trust me, I can’t handle that. I need to be able to trust and I can’t trust you, don’t get me wrong, I know you love me, but we both know love is not enough and I want it all Jared in a relationship. I don’t believe I can get it from you, you’re an amazing
guy, but I also think you have issues of your own to sort out, before you give one girl a hundred percent.”
“I understand, I guess you’re right, but you need know why I didn’t tell you, not because I couldn’t trust you, because I trust you more than most. It was mainly because I was worried of what you would have thought of me and actually maybe despises me over it; let’s not forget that I thought it’d scare you away. I guess I didn’t want you thinking badly of me.”
“I get it, but if you ask me, that sounds more like an excuse and how little you thought of me, if you would think I’d think badly of you. I think you have your answer right there. You need clarity Jared, of what happened with Sabrina and your brother. Something tells me apart of you is still trying to heal over it, and accept what you did; maybe forgiving your brother could be a start. Look, I still want to be in your life, but as friends. You’ve saved my life countless of times and I want to be there for you. I also think I need to return this to you, after all, you did buy it and with us not being engaged anymore it’s not mine to have.” As I hand the engagement ring to him, I don’t think I’ve seen him that heartbroken before, but it’s also understanding.
“You’re amazing Danni, you really are, if that is what you want, I won’t argue with it, does it have to start tonight?”
“No! Tonight I would like you to stay with me, one last time.” He takes hold of my hand and presses his smooth lips against the knuckles; there are those tingles that send rig
ht through my spine. He scoops me up one last time and takes me to the bedroom. I nestle my head into his chest, with each step he takes, I hope they just carry on and not stop. He places me on the right side of the bed, as he always has to have the left side, it’s like OCD with him, he slides in next to me.
“Don’t expect to get laid, as you can see, my body isn’t fit enough for that yet.” He lets out a half chuckle.
“Trust you, Danni. That didn’t even cross my mind; Darla is rubbing off on you.” I roll over and snuggle in to his body with my arm flown around his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. Back where I belong, in his embrace, it feels like home. As he is stroking my hair, he whispers to me as I am dropping off to sleep. “Baby, I will be gone by time you wake up, as it’s going to hurt watching you wake, knowing we won’t be waking up together anymore, I love you.”
“I love you too.” I drop off holding on to him like it’s our last goodbye.
The next morning I wake, I use my hand and flow it across the bed, its empty, he has gone and disappointment hits me. I turn on my side and I notice something on my bedside table, there is a glass of water, a single pink rose and my engagement ring and a little note saying.
Baby, I left you a glass of water for when you wake, as I know how much of a dry mouth you get in the morning, the pink rose is because it’s your favourite, but most importantly, your engagement ring. This is yours and only yours, I don’t want it back, because I’m not giving up on us. I will do everything in my power to make everything up to you and show you that you’re the one I want to give my hundred percent to and one day that ring will be back on your delicate finger.
Love you always
Jared!
When love is meant to be, it will always find away.
Unknown
Chapter six
These past few weeks have dragged, but it’s great to finally be out of that chair. I can start getting everything back to normal, well as normal as I can get. Jared, assigned Phillip to watch my every move; I’m not so fussed by him as well, he did teach me a few things, so he’s alright to get on with. Darla and Carl are finally going back to their own place today, although I’m going to see them tomorrow as we have a shopping date. I’m due back in work today as well. I’m supposed to wait longer, but I just want to get back out there.