by HJ Bellus
He goes down within seconds. Dax refuses to let anyone touch his brother. The nurse leads the way while Dax carries his baby brother in his arms.
The nurse Dax follows has red hair trailing down her back and resting right above her ass, and all he can think of is Holden. The one woman who may have bid on, bought, and owned his heart during one night of passion. Then his eyes reflect back down on his brother who love has completely destroyed. If Eli gets through Chloe’s death, it will be a miracle. Fuck love and all the feelings permanently tattooed on Dax’s heart. He lays his brother on a hospital bed.
After a month of watching his baby brother suffer, Dax is ready to go out. He’s been hitting the cocaine way too hard and knows it, but sometimes it’s the only reliable and constant thing in his life. Dax knows it’s not right, and with every sniff it will be that much harder to quit.
He’s fucked Destiny every night, still closing his eyes and picturing the woman who invades his thoughts every minute of the day. Dax doesn’t know if he’s coming or going nowadays. Every second of his life is consumed with either the club or visiting Eli at the hospital.
He hasn’t left Chloe’s side since the attack. Dax knows deep down that Chloe’s mom will be pulling the plug any day. A ventilator has kept her alive and her baby barely growing, but unless a miracle shoots down from heaven, there’s no hope. And this is the main reason he snorts coke more than he should. He has no idea how to deal with pain.
He’s floated through life from one party to the next, and now there’s no party. Dax slams into Destiny one more time as he analyzes everything in his life. He always takes her belly down, wrapping her hair in one thick bundle. He pulls on it while fucking her and squeezing his eyes shut. If he’s in the right frame of mind, he can pull himself back to that night. His free hand cradles her head.
“Dax, I want to come tonight.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Dax barely grits out the words before he blows inside his condom. It takes every bit of his imagination to take him to the place he needs to be, but he finds it.
Destiny tries to fake her orgasm as he pushes off her. She’s counterfeit in every way, from her tits to her eyelashes. She’s adhered her phony ass to Dax like a leech. He doesn’t have the energy to push her away, and it’s mainly from his massive hangovers. It’s a downward cycle and he knows exactly where he’s heading.
“Go home, Destiny.”
“Thought I’d spend the night tonight.”
“Thought wrong. I’m going to see Eli and Chloe.”
“Dax, let me in. I’ve been here for you for a month.”
“Really?” Dax glares down at Destiny with his soft cock free. “You’ve followed me around like a bitch in heat, pushing your way into my life. Listen to me, whore. I’ve used you, and you know I need to lose myself in someone, and you were convenient. You’ve gotten plenty out of me, so don’t play the victim.”
Dax knows he’s fucked up in the past weeks letting Destiny flaunt her shit around the worksite and the hotel like she fucking owned him. Little did she know he checked out of life a while back, and seeing his brother in the condition he’s in was the final nail in Dax’s coffin. Coke and pussy would do.
“I’ll be back tonight, Dax.”
“Bring a friend.”
Destiny parades to the elevator like she owns the penthouse. Her brazen confidence haunts Dax, making him wonder if coke or Destiny is the bigger mistake. He knows what it is.
He showers and dresses quickly, knowing this next addiction might be his worst one. It’s the one that drives him to open his eyes from the worst of his hangovers. It’s all because of her.
Dax has Holden’s work schedule down to a fine science. It took time, and no, he didn’t go stalk her like a normal man. He paid his way to get to her, hiring a PI to track her moves. Find out where she lives and her location at the hotel when she works. He quickly learned his problem was she worked wherever and whenever she was needed. The asshole thought she was a waitress for months, who quit after their night of passion.
But he learned she spent most of her time in housekeeping cleaning up the filth of others. When Dax learned this little fact he went berserk. The thought made his toenails cringe and sent him into one hell of a spiral.
As Dax walks off the elevator, he knows better than most he’s playing with fire. Taking a seat in the restaurant, the waitress who tried to suck off Eli serves him, first handing him a menu and an ice-cold glass of water. Food is the last thing on his mind. His stomach rolls with nausea from last night’s escapades.
He mentally berates himself for sitting in the wrong section. That fucking private detective of his just landed himself a new job of standing in the unemployment line. Dax has waited patiently for weeks for this moment, and nothing.
A Sterling doesn’t pay good money for no results. Dax balls up the only paper napkin on the table and clenches his teeth in anger.
“Thanks for covering my table. I’m finishing off a triple shift.”
Dax’s head spins as he hears her voice. It’s her. Holden. The woman who’s owned and dominated his thoughts. She was a quick fuck who turned into something else. He only spent a couple hours devouring her body, and it was all it took to fall—and fall fucking hard.
Dax studies Holden’s movements as she walks toward him. Her eyes are focused on the ground, and her shy, unconfident demeanor does not surprise him. It’s what attracted him to her, and then once in bed it’s the one thing that made him want to devour her.
With about four steps to go, Holden looks up and Dax catches her eye. He’s not sure if she’s going to run away or walk faster. Fear, happiness, and anxiety paint her face. He’d give anything to hold his arms open to her, but knows with her shyness it would only freak her out. She was the one who left him in an empty bed the next morning.
“Good morning.” Holden’s eyes dart to her feet again.
“Hi, Holden.”
She ignores him. “What can I get you?” She tries her best to hold onto the small notepad in her shaking hand.
“I’ve looked for you for a long time.”
“We’re only serving breakfast for another fifteen minutes.”
Dax was sure she was about to spill his name, but didn’t. My god, he needed to hear that one syllable roll off her luscious lips.
“I’m not sure. I need a couple more minutes.”
He studies Holden as she walks away, trying like hell to memorize her every curve. The girl fills out her form-fitting pants, slims up a bit to her tits, which fill her blouse to a painstaking point. Dax knows he shouldn’t be hard from simply watching her walk away, but the bastard is busting at the seams.
He studies her every movement as she stocks items behind the counter and checks in on various customers. She’s avoided his table longer than expected, and he only takes it as a compliment. He’s rattled her world and knows it. And like an evil villain, he has her right where he wants her.
“Are you ready, Dax?”
The combination of her voice and the words rolling off her tongue causes his cock to squeeze off some pre-cum.
“Give me six weeks.”
“Excuse me?”
“Give me six weeks to have you twenty-four seven.”
Holden turns her back on him, moving to the next table as if she’s forgotten her job. The table she stops and leans on is completely empty. Dax feels like the biggest dick for what he just suggested, but he has to have Holden in his life. Especially now during some of the lowest points he’s ever experienced.
He takes a long drink of his ice water, never looking away from her. After several minutes she gathers herself and walks into the kitchen. Dax has never been a praying man, but he’s praying like hell right now.
“Hey, hun, the other waitress had to leave for a bit.” It’s the blonde again, and his heart sinks.
“I’ll take the steak sandwich, medium, with fries, and Thousand Island dressing on my salad.”
Dax doesn’t give her the ch
ance to make small talk. He wants her gone. She takes the hint and moves along. He scans the restaurant and even parts of the lobby from his seat searching for Holden, but nothing. Her red hair is unmistakable, and from the first time he laid eyes on her she did damage to his heart.
He’ll never forget her serving all of his brothers and Chloe during a very heated business meeting, where he should’ve felt like shit for some of his actions, but he was hypnotized by her. He waited around until the end of her shift and then took her to a random room.
Dax pushes his plate to the side when his food comes. Food is the furthest thing from his mind. The restaurant staff knows which room to charge the order to. He needs a good workout to blow off steam. She could’ve at least come back and told him no, or given him one more night.
Doesn’t she know who the fuck she’s messing with? People don’t turn down Sterlings. They beg on hands and knees to be with them, and the one girl he can’t shake has no interest in him. He picks up his gym bag from the floor and tries to forget this morning’s events. Dax knows it would’ve been a mistake anyway, immersing himself in Holden right now with everything going on.
The gym has never let Dax down. The iron never fails or goes missing when he needs to pound out his problems, and it produces the complete opposite effect of coke or alcohol. It actually gives him more adrenaline to kick ass. He learned his love for the gym from his father. His birth parents were both severe addicts, eventually dying from their habits, so his father wanted to instill a healthy addiction in his life from a young age.
It might be the only thing that’s saved Dax from fully giving in to his addiction, and he knows it. It’s the reason he never misses a day at the gym.
“Dax,” A beefy guy hollers out as he enters the gym.
“Zac,” he acknowledges, not really wanting to make small talk this morning.
“The new machines you requested arrived this morning.”
“Thanks, man.”
Dax misses his old gym something fierce. It is the one he’d worked out his life in and had every state of the art machine at his disposal. He wastes no time today hitting his workout hard. If there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s the loitering average Joes who take up space when someone like him could be working his ass off. Gym time for Dax is about punishing himself while pushing his soul to new limits, all in the hopes of saving himself from his demons one more day. A day at a time.
Dax’s body drips sweat as he finishes up a massive shoulder session. He pushes himself, not counting the reps but rather going to fail every single time. He collapses as he surrenders to the exhaustion.
A pair of pink painted toes enters his vision, and Dax doesn’t know if he has enough energy to look up and face the person. He needs a few minutes to regain his composure after a workout like that. The sweat rolls off him, pooling on the ground as he keeps his eyes focused on the floor.
“Dax.”
That voice forces him to lift his head. Holden stands before him in a casual outfit. Her black skinny jeans hug her curves, while her steel grey tank top is tight around her middle, allowing the crevasse of her breasts to peek out. Her creamy, pale skin compliments her outfit perfectly. His gaze lands on her cleavage and he has a hard time tearing away from the sight. She’s stunning. She’s pulled her long red hair up into a pony and secured it with a headband.
Dax realizes he hasn’t said a word, but only admired her body from her toes to the top of her head. He tries to speak, but for the first time in his life doesn’t know what to say.
“Can we talk?” she asks, not making eye contact.
He notices her fingers picking at each other. It hurts him that she can’t look him in the eye.
“Yeah,” he finally says, standing and taking a step closer to her. As soon as he closes the space between them, she edges back. She’s clearly intimidated by him. He wracks his mind about their night together. He was sober and doesn’t remember hurting her or acting like a dick.
“Are you afraid of me?” he finally asks, moving back and giving her the space she wants.
She silently shakes her head, keeping her eyes focused at the ground. “I’m afraid of the way you made me feel. I’m not sure if I can take your touch again.”
“Holden.”
“Let’s talk. Room 211. Meet me there in ten minutes?” Her bright blue eyes look up, burning holes in him.
“I’ll be there.”
Holden turns to walk away, apparently satisfied with his response.
“Holden, just know I’m not going to stop until I get what I want.”
Dax doesn’t even bother with a shower. He heads straight to room 211 and paces back and forth while waiting for Holden. He cannot figure out for the life of him what it is about her that drives him wild. Just the two encounters with her today set him on fire all over again.
Why in the hell is she so scared of him, though? That’s the one thing he can’t get past, and the first thing he’ll have to fix.
The lever doorknob twists, distracting Dax from his mental battle. Holden walks in with her head down, and he backs away from her, gifting her plenty of space. He will not scare her this time. Forcing himself to listen to her and not say a word may be the biggest challenge of his life.
Dax sits on the edge of bed and tries to portray a picture of a relaxed man. Holden approaches very slowly¸ taking the seat next to him. He notices her hand trembling, and without thinking, he covers it. When she doesn’t flinch, he relaxes a bit more, but he still refuses to be the first person to talk.
“I’ll do it.”
Dax’s head damn near spins off his neck as he stares at her.
“I’ll do it. But, Dax, I’m not like other girls.”
“Okay.” Dax brushes his forearm.
“I’ve seen the women you’re with around here.” Holden’s face blushes bright red. “And even heard you while cleaning rooms.”
Dax slumps over, rubbing his eyeballs, horrified at her comment. “Holden, you really fucked me up. I looked everywhere for you.”
“I know,” she whispers.
“I don’t do love, and I never have been in love. I fuck women and leave them.” Dax pauses, cringing at his own brash words. “I’m not a good guy and never wanted the same woman until you.”
“That blonde girl brags she’s your girlfriend.”
He sits up, cupping her face and forcing her to look at him. “I used her to try to fuck you out of my system, since you ran away. I don’t have a girlfriend and never have.”
“But you want me for six weeks?”
“I do, Holden.”
Dax can no longer curb his need for her. He leans forward, stopping mere inches from her lips, waiting for her reaction. She doesn’t cringe, and he takes it as his go-ahead. He wants to ravish her body, tear her clothes off, and fuck her senseless until he no longer has the energy to hold himself up.
But he goes carefully, memorizing everything about this moment. Her sweet scent, her innocent eyes studying his face, and her fingers curled up in a ball. When his lips finally touch hers, he covers one of her fists, gently squeezing it and prying it open, and then he laces his fingers with hers.
“Holden, I won’t hurt you and I don’t even have to fuck you. I just want to be with you.”
She shakes her head, giving him no clue to what the action means, so he keeps talking.
“Holden, please. I don’t beg, and I definitely don’t do relationships, but I sit here wanting you more than I’ve ever wanted anything my whole life, begging to have a relationship with you.”
“You scare me, Dax.”
He applies the slightest pressure to her lips, imprinting the impression on his memory, then backing away again he licks his own lips and tastes her on his tongue. Holden watches him intently. She surprises him when she leans forward and presses her lips to his, and he is unable to hold back his loud growl. He’s thankful when she doesn’t pull away.
She kisses him, moving her lips rhythmically and squee
zing his hand. She darts her tongue out, tracing a line down the seam of his lips and waiting for him to open up to her. It takes no time for him to let her in. He lets Holden control the kiss. Her tongue runs along the line of his teeth, and then very gently and tenderly she begins to suck on his tongue.
He’s never been so turned on in his life and knows he needs to warn her, but can’t bring himself to stop. Holden’s body suddenly moves, but she never breaks contact with him. She settles in his lap, straddling him with her knees firmly planted on the bed. Her dainty hands grace his face along his jawline.
Holden leans back slightly, breathless. “That’s why you scare me, Dax. I’ve never kissed a boy until you.”
“You what?”
“I’d never been kissed until our night, and now I can’t keep my lips off you, Dax Sterling.”
The thought drives Dax mad, knowing he’s the only man to have tasted the most delicious lips on Earth. He lifts his hands and cups her face, and in one quick movement has her on her back. His body covers her, but he makes sure to keep all of his weight planted on his elbows.
“Let me kiss you.”
His lips are on hers before she has a chance to respond. Dax lets go, kissing her with everything he has, and it hits him that he’s never kissed someone like this before. His thumb swirls tiny little circles on her temples as his tongue dances around her mouth, and then he lightly nips at her bottom lip. He feels Holden squirming underneath him.
“Are you okay?”
“No.” Her hands fly up to her face, shielding it from view. “I think I’m horny.”
A sigh of relief escapes him; when she said no, his blood ran cold with fear. He thought he’d pushed her too far, but when the last part came out he became harder than he could ever have imagined. He holds his laughter back at her cute remark, and pushes his hips down against her core, settling firmly between her legs.
“I might be a bit horny too.”