“Sorry to keep waking you. Maybe I should sleep with the other women until my brain is done purging all this shit.”
Ohlen chuffed, lowering his head to nuzzle against her cheek gently. Nudged and pushed her until she turned on her side. Giving him room to curl along her back. He threw his big furry leg over her middle until she was totally surrounded by his unbelievably warm body. Her bones vibrated with the soothing purrs he made for her.
Andi fell asleep thinking about how silly it was that she was more comfortable sleeping with a seven hundred pound monster. One capable of chomping off hands and ripping hearts out with teeth and claws, than she was with his two legged form.
She didn’t wake again from bad dreams. In fact, she had the best sleep of her life.
Andi woke gently. No fearful jolt of adrenaline, no lingering nightmares. It took her a minute to acclimate because that hadn’t happened in…a very long time.
Ohlen had moved from the bed and was sitting in a large chair beside it. Some kind of tablet in his hand, reading or doing work. The moment she shifted, his head came up. His blond hair shimmered in the rising lights.
He was a fascinating study in contrast. Swarthy skinned, the tattoos alongside the long stripe of his hair, a dark bronze. Every Sarazen seemed to have those markings in varying colors. She wondered what they meant. His eyes were startlingly purple. Swirls of blue and violet. They reminded her of the first time she’d ever gotten to look out at the vast vacuum of space. The Aria had flown through a nebula when she was ten. She and the other orphans had been allowed up to the bridge to view it. It was her happiest memory.
Ohlen’s face a work of art. The kind she might have spent hours sketching once, a long time ago. He was immense. Muscles packed on muscles on a tall, wide-shouldered frame. His hands were easily three times the size of hers. Though he probably could have crushed her skull in one hand, each time he had touched her, he had been flawlessly gentle.
“Good rising, my one.”
Those bright purple eyes of his sparkled. His voice a near tangible caress against her skin. It made her body break out in goosebumps. Made her lick her dry lips and shift in the bed to turn over to face him.
“Good morning.” she managed to say back.
Ohlen got up, moving from his chair to sit beside her on the bed. Held his hand out to her. Gave her the choice of whether or not she wanted to touch him. His smile grew when she set her palm in his. Brought her fingertips to his mouth to touch his that smile to her skin. A gentle, hesitant kiss.
“How are you feeling?”
Her cheeks heated when she realized he was asking about her mental state after all the nightmares. Feeling? She was embarrassed. Mortified that she’d nearly kicked his teeth in when he’d tried to help her that first time.
“Better. I’m so sorry,”
“After what you witnessed me do, your fear and nightmares were not unexpected.”
Andi stammered to try and explain. “I wasn’t…that’s not…”
He squeezed her hand gently and kissed it again. Andi felt that sweet, tender touch all the way down to her toes. This immense alien touched her with such gentleness. She wanted so badly to believe that he was exactly who he seemed to be. That he was a kind, gentle warrior who would never hurt her. But it was so hard.
Terrifying.
“You do not have to explain, my one. I am glad that you allowed my beast to comfort you. I will sleep beside you in my fur whenever it pleases you. You need only ask.”
She nodded silently,
“I have our morning meal waiting. I must go then to speak with the commander. Would you prefer to wait here or return to the barracks to join your people?”
“Um, the barracks will be fine. Please.”
****
Andi had thought that she needed some time away from Ohlen to get her head on straight. But the second he’d brought her down, the other women had scooped her away. Her anxiety had shot through the roof. The women tried to talk to her. Tried to get her to talk about how horrible it had been to see Ethan die like that. How scared she must have been with Ohlen after seeing him turn into that monster. The more they talked about him, the more agitated she got. Pacing back and forth. Constantly chewing on her nails. Counting her steps almost obsessively. Unable to focus or think of anything other than how much she would rather have been with Ohlen. Or even waiting for him in their suite.
Their suite?
Was she really already more comfortable there? Alone and away from her people, than she was down here in the barracks?
Damn.
She was.
God! What was taking him so long? She had almost chewed her nails down to the quick by the time he got back. The door hissed open and revealed his big gorgeous body. Before Andi really knew what she was doing, she was running towards him.
Ohlen seemed surprised but opened his arms to her anyway. Snuggled her close when she buried her face against his chest,
“Are you well, my one?”
Andi shook her head, feeling on the verge of a panic attack. Immediately he scooped her up and carried her down the hall. Away from the prying ears of the other women. Ohlen ducked into an alcove and set her down. Brought his hands to cup her cheeks. The way he curled himself around her made her feel so safe. It made no sense at all.
“What’s the matter?”
She fidgeted. “I don’t feel right. The whole time you were gone, I was…it was like I was having a panic attack.”
Andi worried he would dismiss her worry. Tell her she was being silly or overly dramatic. He did neither of those things. He made a soothing sound, looking deeply into her eyes with all seriousness.
“And now?”
“It’s better, but I don’t understand why it happened.”
“Come. We will see Ga’rae together. I myself am feeling unsettled.”
Four
Ohlen took her down to the medical wing. Despite the unbelievable size of the medic, his manner was immediately soothing. Or maybe it was just the way Ohlen had set her down on the Sarazen sized table and smoothed his hand over her hair tenderly. Ohlen took his hand off of her only long enough for the scan to do its sweep of her body.
Ga’rae grunted, tapping notes onto his little arm unit thingy. When he was satisfied, he looked up and smiled at her confidently.
“Your scan is completely within normal limits. Your womb has successfully been regenerated. The damage to your bones and tissues repaired, and I note no abnormalities. The anxiety you feel is often experienced by mated pairs who are separated in the first few cycles of their joining. As your bond grows stronger, the anxiety will lessen.”
Well, at least she wasn’t going crazy. That was good to know.
Andi was amazed to have learned after her very first scan, ingesting Ohlen’s blood had resulted in her body being able to completely regrow, her uterus. Repaired the remodeled fractures she’d gotten from trying to fight Ethan off. Even the few burn scars she had from working down in engineering were gone. Like they’d never been at all.
“But why? Why am I anxious and close to a full blown panic attack to not be with someone I barely know? No offense,” she murmured as an afterthought to Ohlen. He smiled at her gently and assured her none was taken.
Ga’rae grunted again. Seemingly using that as his main form of communication. Or maybe a pause in between thoughts?
“If you were a Sarazen by birth and gifted with a beast of your own, I would say that it is completely normal. Nature’s way of ensuring a mated pair remains together long enough to form a bond and create offspring. As you and the others are not Sarazen by birth, I can only say that it is the pheromones we produce for our mates affecting you. The primal part of your brain reacting as it associates health, home, and safety with that of your mate. Reacting positively to his presence and negatively to his absence. I predict that once actual mating occurs, this feeling will diminish.”
It had certainly felt negative to not be with Ohlen. She struggle
d to accept that it was Ohlen’s pheromones that made her feel safe and calm around him, rather than his actual person. Andi thought hard about it while he picked her up off the table and guided her out.
They walked quietly together through the white halls and Andi definitely felt safe with him. Which was a contradiction to every survival instinct she’d honed over the last five years.
Ohlen was terrifyingly big. Terrifyingly strong. If he chose to take her against her will or hurt her, there would be no fighting back.
Andi tried to reason with herself as to why she felt so safe with him. Knowing, having seen firsthand, how easily it would be for Ohlen to turn on her. He could shape shift into a four-legged creature capable of shredding a human body into so much meat. With claws that resembled black knives.
On the other hand, as terrible as it sounded, having witnessed him take such brutal action on her behalf had endeared him to her like nothing else could have. The beast had claimed blood for her. Claimed vengeance. Then not long later that same beast had curled up around her in bed. Hugged her between those massive paws of his and purred tenderly for her until she’d slept. It was almost too much to take in.
“Andi?”
She blinked at the gentle touch of Ohlen’s fingertips on her jaw. She hadn’t noticed they had come to a stop in the hallway. Andi had totally spaced out on him. He looked down at her with concern plain in his eyes. She felt herself flushing with embarrassment.
“Sorry, thinking.”
Ohlen nodded. Lifted his head towards the door to her left. “I would like to show you something if you are amenable.”
He was so polite and courteous. So caring. She noticed him hesitating every now and then. Pausing thoughtfully before he made any sort of movement. Checking his body language to ensure she wouldn’t be surprised enough to withdraw. Ohlen managed to put her at ease by being observant and deliberate in everything he did or said. Taking care of her beyond the norm.
Maybe she didn’t need to over think this. “Of course.”
His full lips kicked up at the edges. His eyes bright with a nearly boyish sort of eagerness. Ohlen waved his hand over the door led her inside.
A large, warrior sized padded table dominated the otherwise empty room. She hugged herself a little tighter than she needed to, uncertain about what was going on. What this room was used for. It wasn’t as big as his cabin, perhaps half that size. Like most things on board it was a sterile white. Idly she wondered who the hell cleaned the ship and kept it so startlingly white. He shifted to touch the unit on his wrist. A few taps of his fingertips and the white walls disappeared to display a forest.
A warm gust of air moved across Andi’s cheek. Startled, she reached up to touch her face. It had come from the wall to her left. She knew it was a wall, though now it seemed to be endlessly filled with trees. Trees with pale gold trunks and a wealth of red, orange and gold leaves. She looked down, the flat surface of the floor now having become green and spongy under her feet,
“What is this?” she gasped. In awe of what she was seeing. He smiled at her wonder. It shone out from the gorgeous lavender of his eyes.
“Grass, my one. This is the forest I grew up in. Where I ran as a cub. It is only a holographic rendering, but-“
“It’s beautiful.” she breathed. Interrupting his attempt to excuse the lack of reality. “I’ve never seen grass. Or trees. Or felt natural air on my face. No sunshine. Even holographic, this is the closest I’ve ever come to knowing what Earth might have been like. Thank you, Ohlen. It’s amazing.”
He inclined his head. Swallowing audibly while she walked around the table. Andi was fascinated as she watched the wind rustle the leaves. Mesmerized by the way the colors flashed so brightly in the light. The soft whistling sound of the air, strangely soothing.
The forest melted away to reveal another image. Floor to ceiling glass windows looking out onto a stunningly beautiful mountain range. It was breathtaking. The mountain tops snowcapped, majestically stretching up towards the cloudy gray sky. Andi walked closer, forgetting it was a hologram as she set her palms to the windows. Feeling the coolness of the glass while she stared at the fluffy white clouds rolling along gently along.
“Is this another place on Saraz?” she couldn’t look away. Watching the wind whip up flurries of snow. Sending them careening through the air in fantastic swirls.
“Yes, my one. We could spend all day within this chamber. My intent, however, was to download information to you.”
“Download information for me, you mean? Where?” Ohlen nodded to the black device sitting on the table top,
“To you. Directly into the mind. This room is used for many things. Relaxation, mental refreshment and so forth. It is one of many on board. The primary squad leaders are typically the recipients. The primaries can then train all their warriors accordingly, using the same techniques and information. The program is not restricted to pre-programed military maneuvers. Anything the mind has learned, can be uploaded or downloaded into another person.”
Andi was fascinated. It looked like some kind of ocular device. When she asked if the process was delivered through the eyes, Ohlen smiled at her like he was pleased.
“Yes. I would like to give you the knowledge to fight.” she frowned at him. Wondering why he would want to give her that kind of knowledge. He didn’t keep her waiting for the answer for very long.
“At the completion of the download, you will know how to incapacitate an enemy. Any enemy. You will still have to exercise. Build muscle and train. But it will feel like a memory you’ve carried since birth.”
Andi struggled for an even breath. Shocked by the gravelly tone of his voice. The rage behind it.
He hurried to go on. “I do not anticipate you ever needing to use this information. You will never be alone or unprotected. I will always be there to rend anyone or anything who poses threat to you, into pieces. My intent is for you to feel safe. No matter who you are with or where you are. Never feel helpless or weak. Never afraid. Not ever again.”
Tears pricked at Andi’s eyes. Her stomach hollowed out and she just stood there. Staring at this man, this alien, in total shock. She had never been given a gift in her life. Not one. Everything she’d had, she had scraped and fought for. What Ohlen was offering her, what he was giving to her, was an incomparable gift. She fell a little bit in love with him right then.
He must have mistaken her expression for something other than shock and awe. His face hardened with disappointment. To see it made her stomach clench. Her mind instinctively wondering if he would become angry with her,
“I did not mean to upset you, my one.”
The knot of dread unraveled like it had never been. She pulled up what little courage she had and crossed the distance to him. Kept going until her face thunked right into his sternum. The musky scent of him immediately filled her nostrils. Unique to him and surprisingly comforting. So was the weight of his arms as they carefully curled around her. His palms rubbing gently up and down her spine, kneading at her hair.
She loved the feeling of it. Was slightly terrified by how much she loved it. He didn’t say anything else. Patiently waiting, holding her close while she collected herself. He touched a feather light kiss to the top of her head. Purred softly to her. The sound vibrated in his chest, right under her ear, filling her with the strangest sense of relaxation. She nuzzled deeper into his tunic. Seeking more of his warmth. Wanting it to permeate her to the bones.
“Will it hurt? The download?” she asked. Her voice muffled by his tunic.
He immediately answered. “Of course not. Ga’rae has told me to make certain we go slowly. Perhaps a quarter of information at a time. There may be headaches afterward. I have already procured tonics to ease them just in case. I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose, my one. Not ever.”
Andi stared sightlessly at the holographic vista. Analyzing the shocking realization that she believed him. Without question, she believed he would never hurt he
r on purpose. It made her throat burn. Made her slightly uncomfortable while at the same time put her at ease. She titled her head back. Setting her chin on his chest so she could see the deep purple of his eyes.
Ohlen looked right back at her. Continuing to comb his long fingers through her hair. She marveled at the reaction of her body. She had been so certain she would never in her life ever want to have anything to do with a man, ever again. Yet here she was, feeling desire. Her fingers itched to trace his tattoos. To know what they meant. To touch him.
“No one has ever given me a gift before.”
His tawny brows pulled together with confusion. “Never?”
“No.”
“Why not?” He turned his knuckles to her cheek. A tender caress both reassuring and sweet.
“My parents died in an engineering accident when I was three months old. I was transferred to the Aria because they had more resources to offer an infant. I didn’t have anyone who would care enough to give me anything.”
He stared down at her for several long minutes. His expression changing as he came to some kind of decision,
“We do not have to do this now, my one. I only wished to offer you the choice.”
Andi shook her head. Gave him a little squeeze,
“I don’t want to be a victim anymore. If you have the tools to help me do that, I’ll use them.”
His pupils expanded and contracted in a split second. A visual reminder that he was not at all human. She heard his throat work. Stayed still and enjoyed the sweet nuzzle of his nose on her brow.
“May I lift you up onto the table? It is a bit of a jump for your small self.”
Andi found herself laughing, “Everything is a bit of a jump around here. You Sarazens area gigantic.”
Ohlen carefully scooped her up. Hugging her close for a few moments before he moved to lay her on the table. He even went so far as to carefully sweep her hair out from under her so she wasn’t laying on it.
Sarazen's Vengeance: Book 1.1 Page 3