“What? What are you all looking at me like I’m crazy for? I’m good. It’s all good.” Joel slid into the booth. He noticed they were still giving him those weird, scared glances, and he regretted even trying to be his normal joking, upbeat self. “What? I was joking, sheesh.”
“Well, it’s not funny, man.” Jason’s happy-go-lucky expression soured.
“Yeah, and I don’t buy that joke crap, by the way. Are you okay? How’s everything, really, man? And don’t give us that bull about it all being good. You almost died, and it took a lot just to have you walking again. You might not be able to go back to the fire department, and that was your life. How’re you, really, man?” Lawrence cut right to the chase.
Joel flinched. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess it’s not all good. Damn, man, you ever heard of holding back? Good thing you aren’t in crisis negotiation. You’d have a person jumping from the ledge or all the hostages would be dead by the time you were done.”
Jason and Patrick laughed, while Lawrence ran his had across his head in reflection.
Joel could tell that Lawrence had a lot he wanted to say for weeks now. Things must really be bad if his normally cool brother let it blow the way he did. Whatever Lawrence had held back for the past few weeks, clearly he had no intention holding on now.
Joel sincerely hoped Lawrence would back off. He didn’t know how much more of his brothers’ inquiries—no matter how well intentioned they seemed to be—he could take.
“Seriously, Joel, we’re worried about you. You’ve been pretty silent these past few months. And we’ve been trying to give you time to talk about stuff when you got ready, but your therapy is almost over, and you still haven’t talked about the fact that—”
Nope, Lawrence was letting it all hang out, so Joel had to cut him off.
Joel slammed his hand on the table in an effort to let his brother know he’d had enough. “The fact that I might never fight fires again? The fact that my back will more than likely never be the same and I’ll be battling back pain the rest of my life?” He was holding his jaw so tight every single word he said came out stressed.
He should have canceled. He wasn’t ready for this.
“Could it simply be that I don’t want to dwell on the negative?” Again he bit out his words with a barely contained rage. The nerve of them trying to pull some kind of intervention on him! Didn’t they realize he was doing the best he could given the circumstances?
“That’s all fine and well, but you can’t just keep stuff like that all bottled in, bro, and there’s a big difference between not dwelling on the negative and being in denial,” Patrick offered.
Joel gritted his teeth to keep from cursing. This is bull. Patrick was the last person who needed to be calling anyone out for keeping things inside.
And so what if he was keeping things inside? Did any of them know what it was like to feel like half the man he used to be? Did any of them have the one thing they had always wanted to be, ever since they were a kid and got their first little fire truck Matchbox car cruelly snatched away from them? Were either one of them faced with the real possibility that he would never be the man he was again because the self-identity that he had crafted and nurtured over the years was gone?
No. They didn’t. So as far as he was concerned, they couldn’t tell him jack.
“We know how much firefighting means to you. That’s why we’re concerned,” Lawrence offered.
“You don’t know anything about it, and if you’re lucky, you’ll never have to know,” Joel snapped.
“I know how I’d feel if I couldn’t fight fires anymore,” Patrick stated solemnly. “I’d feel like a big chunk of myself was missing. I might even be dumb enough to question my worth, but hopefully you three would step in and help me see that I’m so much more than my job and I have a lot more to offer the world even if I can’t fight fires anymore.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Captain!” Joel’s words came out snidely and he didn’t like the sound of his voice. He just knew he wasn’t ready for this. Why couldn’t they see that and just leave it alone?
“We’re just worried about you, man. So what’s going on?” Jason chimed in.
“How is your back?” Lawrence asked.
“Are you going to at least explore the option of taking a position with Dad at Hightower Security?” Patrick wore an oddly hopeful expression.
Joel inhaled so deeply his nostrils flared. An angry hiss of breath escaped his lips. Their little intervention became increasingly more annoying because he realized even though he didn’t have all the answers to their questions, what he did have he wasn’t so sure he wanted to face yet. He counted to ten and then counted again.
He stood and glared at each of his brothers. “I can’t do this tonight.” Those were the only words he trusted himself to say, as angry as he was, he didn’t want to say anything that couldn’t be taken back or apologized for later.
His brothers all glanced at one another, and he could see the wheels spinning in their heads as they tried to think of ways to keep him there.
“Hey, look, bro, we’ll back off. Sit back down. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We just wanted to see you,” Lawrence offered.
“Yeah, who knows when Jason here will have another free night away from Penny. Pulling him away from the old ball and chain is like pulling teeth.” Patrick let out a nervous chuckle.
“That’s not true. It’s not like pulling teeth.” A sly smile covered Lawrence’s mouth as he waved his hand in mock disagreement. “Pulling teeth is much easier than getting Jason to leave Penny’s side.”
His older brothers started laughing, and Jason frowned.
Joel started to walk away from the table. It was better to walk away than stay there in his current mood and end up taking it out on his brothers. It wasn’t their fault.
Jason reached out and grabbed Joel’s arm. Joel snatched it back in reflex before pausing to calm himself.
“Hey, man, you can’t leave me here alone to deal with these two clowns. Stay a little while,” Jason stated in a mock pleading tone.
Joel inhaled and exhaled trying to find the somewhat positive mood he’d come in with before sitting back down. He figured he might as well stay for a minute and make it the younger Hightower brothers versus the oldest brothers. Like the good old days.
“So how is married life treating you, baby bro?” he asked Jason.
Jason gave Lawrence and Patrick the evil eye before turning his attention to Joel. “It’s wonderful, man. My only regret is that we wasted so many years.”
Joel nodded. Jason and Penny belonged together. He wondered if he’d ever find the woman who would complete him and light fire to his soul the way Penny did for Jason. No sooner than he thought it did the feisty chocolate beauty Samantha Dash pop into his mind.
His pulse quickened, and for the first time in a long time, he felt a rush. Now, there was a woman who could bring out passion in a man. So what if he couldn’t seem to agree with a word that came out of her mouth, her full, luscious, delectable mouth. The image of her beautiful lips planted itself in his brain, and for the rest of the evening with his brothers all he could do was think of what it would be like to kiss them. How did they taste? Now more than ever, he was determined to find out.
Chapter 5
It had to be the worst session with a patient Samantha had ever had. The most god-awful encounter with another person she had ever experienced in her twenty-seven years on the planet. And the closest she had ever come to physically hurting another human being.
But Joel Hightower was behaving in a less-than-human manner and giving off more attitude than usual. Since she had vowed not to lose her professionalism and snap at him again, she tried to grin and bear it.
However, him standing there, smirking at her as she tried to show him new stretching exercises broke her resolve. She could have sworn he was trying to provoke her. She went off.
“Do you not want
to be able to cope with the pain? Am I boring you, Mr. Hightower? Or maybe you just like the pain?” She put her hand on her hip and glared at him.
For the first time that afternoon, her grumpy patient smiled. At least, it looked like a smile and less like the smart-aleck, condescending smirk he’d been wearing.
“What’s your deal, Joel? I can only help you if you let me. Would you like to change to a different therapist for your final month?”
Ready to throw in the towel didn’t even begin to touch how she felt. It was hard enough seeing him three times a week and getting glimpses of that funny, sweet guy she had imagined him to be before she actually met him. When Joel Hightower wasn’t putting on his sulking front, he was actually quite charming, too darn charming.
He frowned then. “No. I want to keep you. It’s just…I’m not sure this is worth it. I still may not be able to do the job I love.”
She took a deep breath. Now was not the time to force him to see he could find other jobs he loved because he was still alive to do so. Instead she took a seat on the mat and looked up at him.
Squinting, she contemplated the best approach. Typically, she would offer a pep talk and finish guiding her patient on the path to recovery from a professional distance, but when she gazed up in his sincere but stressed brown eyes, she couldn’t maintain her distance.
She swallowed as she realized she cared about Joel Hightower. And even if she wasn’t ready to admit it let alone give into it, she knew she had to give in to her need to comfort him.
Leaning back against the wall, she patted the spot on the mat next to her. Joel didn’t hesitate at all and took a seat.
“Would not being able to fight fires anymore be the absolute worst thing that could happen?”
“Yes.” He didn’t even pause before answering her.
And more important, he barely left any room for her to encourage him to open up more.
“Would you rather be dead than to not be able to fight fires? Because I can tell you this, the people you would leave behind wouldn’t want that. Your family and friends would rather have you here.”
He paused then, and she wondered if his silence signaled she had overstepped her bounds with him. She seemed to have become good at doing that.
“When I was a kid, I would watch all of the men in my family—my father, his cousins, all of them, in their uniforms. The cops, the firemen…There’s the Hightower legacy of service that we get taught almost from the crib, but there is also growing up and seeing the men in our family do their thing.” He stopped, and silence rang through the air. She had no desire to fill it. It seemed too precious, the build-up too great. She let out her breath slowly. She hadn’t realized she had been holding it.
“So much of what you grow up thinking a man is, is all tied to the uniform, the badges…So yes, when I woke up in the hospital and realized that I might not be able to fight fires again…to wear the uniform…to be a man…a Hightower man…I thought it would have been better to just be dead.”
She gasped, and a chill ran through her blood. She couldn’t stand the thought that Joel at one time considered death a better option than life.
“My dad was a police officer with the Chicago police department. He was murdered trying to stop a robbery in a corner store when I was twelve.” Her shaky voice surprised both of them.
“I’m sorry to hear that. There are really no words to say…” Joel’s words faltered off.
“He worked a lot, and I didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with him, but the little time I did spend with him, he made special. I was such a daddy’s girl. During basketball season, he would always find time to take me to a few Bulls games, and from the time I was around six years old, we would have a father-and-daughter day and he’d take me out to eat and we’d just bond. When I was twelve, my last year before he was murdered…He told me that he was showing me how a respectable guy is supposed to treat a lady so I’d know…” She cleared her throat. She couldn’t continue.
Joel placed his arm around her shoulder, and her entire body heated up and tingled before a calm came over her.
“It’s not better to be dead, Joel. Not for the people you leave behind, and as heroic and manly as it must make people feel to be able to put on a uniform and save lives, I know that I adored and worshiped the man that used to take me to games, make me laugh and shower me with love way more than I did the cop in a uniform.”
“But you do know that your dad was a hero and he died doing something he had dedicated himself to doing—fighting crime and saving lives. The police force is a noble tradition and it takes great men to really do that shield justice.” He paused, and a rueful smile crossed his lips.
“If you ever meet any of my brothers, don’t you dare tell them I said that. I’d never hear the end of it. Two of my brothers are cops and my dad was a cop, too.”
“I know he was a hero. He was a brave man, and I miss him.” She shifted and cleared her throat again. “So, enough about me. This is supposed to be about you.” She tried for a lighthearted laugh that didn’t quite make it. “What has you in such a funk today…besides your usual surly nature?”
He chuckled. “I guess I’ve been wondering what will happen if I can’t be a fireman anymore. I don’t know what…”
The hesitation and uncertainty in his voice caused the lightbulb to go off in her head. “You don’t know what you’re going to do now?”
“Sort of. My father retired early from the Paterson police department. He’d invested well and made enough money to start his own company, Hightower Security. It specializes in all aspects of making folks feel secure—from alarm systems to actual security guards. He provides inspection services, the whole deal, and my brothers and I all own a piece of the company and always envisioned working there once we became too old to do what we’re doing now or just needed a change.”
Samantha nodded. It felt good to finally feel as if she had some insight to the man. “And you feel like you’re being put out to pasture too soon?”
“Dang, girl! Subtlety is definitely not your strong point.”
Joel started laughing, and she felt the heat rise from her neck to her cheeks.
Since when did she turn into Sammie-blush-a-lot?
Since she met up with Joel Hightower, that’s when.
“You look so cute when you do that.” His voice got really deep, and she turned to look at him against her better judgment.
Goodness, the man was fine. His expressive brown eyes and smooth, sexy smile made his handsome face shine. She’d never seen a man more good-looking, not even on a movie screen. He had the kind of gaze a girl could get lost in: one part serious, two parts sensuous and one part sexy as all get out. That face and his muscular frame combined with the underlying playful and very devilish manner equaled danger to any sane and breathing girl’s heart. It certainly had the warning buzzers going off in her head.
So why wasn’t she listening to them? Proceed with caution, hell! She kept right on falling into the dark chocolate pools that made up his eyes.
She tilted her head and tried to give off the impression she wasn’t scared. “Do what?”
“Get all nervous and embarrassed and start blushing.” He smiled, and she could have sworn she saw a sparkle.
“You can’t see me blush, Hightower. My complexion doesn’t allow for that.” She smirked even as she wondered how he could possibly know that if she were a few shades lighter, she would be lit up like Rudolph’s nose on Christmas Eve.
“Oh, maybe I can’t see it, but I know it. I can tell. You’re nervous and curious all at the same time.”
“Yeah, well, we all know what too much curiosity did to the cat…” She let out a sigh.
“True, but we also know satisfaction revived the little feline in the best way.”
Was that a sexy taunt she heard in the undertone of his voice?
“Who’s to say I’d be satisfied if I gave in to my curiosity?” She felt way more saucy than she had a right
to given he was a patient, but that didn’t stop the hint of a pant in her voice.
She needed to quit it. She really did.
A sinful, sexy smile crossed his lips. “If you’re curious about what I know you’re curious about then I can promise you heights of satisfaction unlike anything you have ever experienced.”
There it was again. There was no mistaking the sensuous taunt.
She made the dreaded mistake of looking up into his intense stare and the truth of his promise nearly took her breath away. He meant it, all right. He met her gaze without blinking.
“Well…” She wiped her suddenly sweating palms on her slacks and got up from the mat.
He followed, and she noticed him wince a little.
“I’m going to show you these stretching exercises and you are going to follow, and then I’m going to give you a heat treatment. And when you come in here on Monday, you are going to leave that funky attitude at the door. Because if you don’t, I will be forced to bring out the big guns.”
He grinned. “Oh, I’m going to be on my best behavior from now on. My new mission is to make you throw caution to the wind, little kitten, and to give us both some satisfaction. I’m glad you took it upon yourself to take me to task today, Little Miss Spitfire. I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time, and I know I want to feel more, much more.” His tone went down a couple of notches, and his voice became Barry White deep and sexy.
Her knees suddenly felt weak, and she wanted to flop back down on the mat.
What had she gotten herself into?
She should have kept her professional distance because Joel Hightower’s big predator cat on the prowl was way out of her league. He could satisfy his curiosity all he wanted and he’d end up fine, but how much would she have to risk in order to play his game? And how would she be able to resist?
Getting in his SUV, Joel replayed what had happened in his therapy session with a smile on his face. He wondered if Little Miss Spitfire even realized he had thrown down the gauntlet. He shook his head and chuckled to himself.
Make it Hot Page 5