He shuffled his stool closer, until his knees touched mine. I bowed my head.
“How did you feel?”
“Aroused, beyond anything I’ve felt before,” I said quietly.
“More.”
“Alive.”
“More, Lauren,” he whispered.
“My skin felt on fire, my heart beat so fast. It was exciting, like a rollercoaster, scary but exhilarating at the same time.”
“Do you feel aroused now, thinking about it? And don’t lie to me, I can smell you.”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“Would you do it again?”
Finally, I looked at him. “Yes.”
“Then tell me, what is wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” I whispered.
He stood from his stool and positioned himself between my thighs. He held my head in his hands and he kissed me. He kissed me so fiercely he stole my breath and scrambled my mind.
When he broke away, I gasped for air.
“You do not run from me, Lauren, ever. I will not chase you,” he said, as he rested his forehead against mine. It was all I could do to nod.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then I need to sleep a little. I haven’t slept much since Saturday night.”
I slid from my stool and picked up my bag. “I’ll get a taxi home,” I said.
“No, you won’t, you’ll sleep with me.”
He took my hand and led me from the room. We walked back to the hallway and up the stairs to his bedroom. He had a large bed, and it was clear from the crumpled bedding, he’d been sleeping on top. He pulled off his shirt but left his jeans on. I kicked off my shoes and waited. He climbed onto his bed and patted the space beside him. As I joined him, he wrapped me in his arms.
“Don’t ever fucking run from me again,” he whispered.
****
I didn’t sleep as such, just dozed. It felt good to be wrapped in his arms, to have my head nestled in the crook of his neck. I could feel his heartbeat under the hand I’d placed on his chest. It beat at a far steadier rhythm than mine. I didn’t want my mind to go where it clearly was. For a moment we felt like a couple.
I had no idea what we had, and I wasn’t sure I wanted a relationship, certainly not until I’d sorted out the issues with Scott. Having a fuck buddy just wasn’t in my makeup either. In one way, I envied the women that could just have sex and not attach emotion to it. Or maybe, like me, they were trying to convince themselves they could.
Didn’t all women want to be taken out to dinner? Hold hands with someone? To just sleep, curled up against a warm body?
Didn’t all women want to share their lives with someone they could come home to, from work, and discuss their day with?
Had I been ten years younger, maybe I could have done the sex without strings thing. But my biological clock was ticking, and although a baby wasn’t something I wanted right then, I missed a stable relationship.
I sighed.
“What was that for?” I heard.
“What?”
“The sigh.” He turned his head to face me and opened his eyes.
“Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“I don’t have to tell you every thought that runs through my mind, do I?”
“No, but you never know if it’s something I can help with.”
“I don’t think you can with this.”
He pulled his arm from underneath me. “I’ll grab a shower and then cook us something to eat,” he said.
“I can do that,” I said.
“The shower, or the cooking?” he said as he unbuttoned his jeans.
“Both.”
“Then why are you still dressed?”
“You didn’t ask me to undress,” I said, pulling my t-shirt over my head.
“If you want to fuck me, or have me fuck you, Lauren, instigate it. Don’t wait to be commanded to do something. I might be an asshole sometimes, but I didn’t just fall out of one of your novels,” he said, laughing.
He strode naked to the shower.
“Shame,” I whispered and then smiled.
I stepped out of my jeans and underwear and joined him. Soapsuds ran down his body as he pushed his hands through his hair, rinsing it. He reached out for my hand and pulled me close to him. He squirted gel in his palms and ran them over my body, deliberately missing the parts I would have liked him to touch. He then turned me away from him and washed my hair, massaging my scalp as he did. His fingers ran through my hair, gently untangling it.
“I want to do something,” I said and turned back to face him.
“Do whatever you want, Lauren,” he replied.
I held his hips as I lowered to my knees. I kept my gaze on his face and watched the smile form on his lips. With just one lick of my tongue, his cock was hard. I wasn’t sure exactly when it had occurred to me, but I’d never pleasured him.
I licked up his shaft, flattening my tongue against him until I reached the tip. With one hand, I guided him into my mouth. I sucked while running my hand up and down the length of him. He fisted his hands into my hair, and as I lowered my head, taking more of him into my mouth, he gripped harder.
I sucked his cock and rolled his balls in the palm of my hand. I wasn’t an expert at blowjobs, but I was certainly giving my best. I was rewarded with a moan and a painful pull of my hair. For every moan he released, I sucked harder.
He started to rotate his hips, gently at first. He pulled my head back, just slightly, before driving into me. He fucked my mouth like he’d fucked my pussy. My eyes watered as his cock hit the back of my throat. I breathed in deep, to relax. I palmed his balls again and felt them tighten. At the same time, he pulled hard on my hair.
“Lauren,” he said, almost like a growl.
I held my position. I’d never had a man come in my mouth before, but I wanted to do that for him, for me. I felt his cock twitch, pulse, and his hot milky fluid shot down my throat. I swallowed as quickly as I could. When he’d finished, I released him gently, keeping my tongue against the underside of him, and licked him clean. I ran my tongue over the tip of his cock once he’d pulled free of my mouth.
“That was on my list,” I quietly said.
He smiled. “Then I’m pleased we checked that one off.”
He reached down for my shoulders and helped me stand; my lower legs were numb. I raised my face to the showerhead and opened my mouth, allowing it to fill with water, and then swallowed again.
The water stopped running, he hadn’t turned a dial or pressed a button.
“Timer,” he said as he stepped out.
He grabbed two towels, wrapped one around his waist and the other around me. For a moment, he stared at me without speaking. I got the impression he wanted to say something but held back.
“What?” I asked as I dried myself.
“Nothing.” He smiled at me as he walked to his bedroom.
I followed him and that awkward after-sex moment, which should have followed long before then, occurred. I watched him dress and had no option but to pull on my own dirty ones. I towel dried my hair and scrunched it into a bun.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked.
“I think I ought to be heading home.”
“I’ll drive you, but you’re welcome to stay for dinner.”
He’d spoken as if I was just a casual visitor, not someone who just sucked his cock and swallowed his cum. I was confused.
“No dinner, it’s fine. I can get a taxi if you have a number.”
“I’ll drive, it’s no problem.”
There was a little part of me disappointed, were we back to the game? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play anymore.
****
We drove back to my apartment in near silence. When we did talk it felt forced and unnatural.
“Did you speak to Gabriella?” he asked when he pulled into the car park.
“I did. I told her I in
tended to resign. She asked me to think about it.”
“Why would you want to resign?”
What could I say? Because of us? I wasn’t sure there was an us. I said the first thing that came into my head.
“I don’t have that much respect from my colleagues, I think if I was in a position above them, I’d have even less. That won’t be good for your business.”
As I spoke the words I realised they were true.
“Then earn their respect,” he said, turning in his seat towards me.
“Sorry? I haven’t done anything to deserve their lack of.” I was a little astounded that he could say that.
“I don’t suppose you have. But quitting, just because a few people don’t like you, plays straight into their hands. You can earn their respect, and it will be begrudgingly, by taking that position and showing them just how capable you are.”
“What if I fail?”
“If you think you will, you will. You can be scared of challenges your whole life, or you can face your fears and rise above them.”
“Is this another lesson? Another part of the game?” I said, adding a chuckle.
“I’ve told you before, I don’t play games. I’m deadly serious in everything I do. Now, think about what you want from life, Lauren. Like I said earlier, instigate it. If you don’t know what you want, how can you achieve anything?”
“So the ball’s in my court again?” I wasn’t sure if the conversation had switched from a job offer to sex.
“Yep. It’s time for you to man up. I thought I was doing something wonderful for you over the weekend, turns out, I wasn’t.”
He leaned a little towards me and reached out with his hand to cup my chin.
“The next lesson as you call it, will be entirely up to you.”
So the game was still on? The man was giving me a headache with all the switches in personality and the cryptic messages.
I opened my car door, not waiting for him to do it. I struggled out and then leaned on the roof to look back in.
“Thank you for the ride home, Mackenzie. I’ll think on that offer, both of them.”
I walked away. He didn’t leave immediately. I took a sneaky peek over my shoulder as I walked through the door to the lifts. He held a mobile to his ear but hadn’t looked my way.
“Fuck you,” I whispered as I called the lift.
I’d prove to him that I was man enough for a challenge. I’d never shied away from a difficult task before but running a business?
When I got to my apartment I opened my laptop and sent a message to Gabriella, asking her if she’d give me more details on what the position entailed.
I then sent a text.
My next lesson – I want to watch someone having sex.
I stifled the giggle that threatened to leave my lips. I held the phone in my hand and waited for his reply. It didn’t come.
“Bollocks,” I said, as I rose and decided I needed something to eat.
As I sat with a glass of wine and a sandwich I thought on the text I’d sent. What Mackenzie was offering was addictive. He was giving me the opportunity to experience all those things I’d read about and been turned on by. But, like the previous weekend, it was all well and good in fiction. I swallowed down the panic.
No harm could come from watching another couple, right? I thought.
The problem was, I’d already experienced the ultimate. I’d discovered what it was like to be with another woman. I wasn’t sure where I could go from there. What if fulfilling my fantasies was all that was on offer from Mackenzie? How did we behave when it was all done? What I didn’t want to do was get so addicted to the high, the excitement, that it became impossible to have a normal relationship after. Somehow, though, I suspected I was already on that slippery slope.
****
It was mid-afternoon the following day when I heard back from Mackenzie.
Friday 8pm. I’ll collect you. Wear loose clothing.
My hands shook as I read his text, a bubble of excitement formed in my stomach, and a grin spread across my face. I wanted to text back. I wanted to know more, but then I wanted the element of surprise as well. I sat back in my chair and wondered who I’d be watching. My grin slipped a little when a thought struck me. It wouldn’t be him with another woman, would it?
I had no claim on him, but the thought of seeing him fuck someone else filled me with dread. I swallowed down the pang of jealousy.
I was quickly brought back to the present by a knock on my door.
“Do you have a minute?” Gabriella asked.
I wasn’t even aware she was in the building.
“Of course, come on in. Can I get you a coffee?”
She shook her head. “Would I be a terrible snob if I said I can’t stomach that instant?”
I laughed. “No, I can send Jenny out for one.”
I popped my head around the door and asked Jenny to head to the nearest coffee shop.
“Thank you for reconsidering that offer. I thought it might be nice to meet with Alex, informally, this week. I wondered what your plans were.”
“I’m free, except Friday evening.”
“I know he’s available for lunch tomorrow. I just want you to sit down with him and chat. He’s excited to meet you.”
“You already told him about me?”
“I told him you were a possible candidate,” she said with a smile.
“My reservations come, not because I don’t think I can grasp what’s required, but more to do with letting you down if I can’t cut it.”
“You wouldn’t have been considered, Lauren, if we didn’t believe you could. You should have a little more faith in yourself.”
“And the fact Jerry said he wanted to ensure I still had a job,” I said.
“Whenever we take over a company there are always members of staff the owner wants to ensure stays. The deal would not have been done had we not agreed with his demands, however, we wouldn’t deal if we didn’t agree.” She laughed when she’d finished her sentence.
“He is rather demanding, isn’t he?”
“I really like him, and I know Mackenzie wants to keep a relationship with him.”
“I have to say, I was surprised Jerry took on a partner, let alone sold out. This has been his life for so many years.”
“I guess the offer was just too good not to accept. At the end of the day, one man can only take a business so far. And the prudent thing is to always bail out on a high offer, while still at the top of the game.”
Jenny returned with two takeout containers from Costa.
“I got black, I didn’t know what you wanted,” she said as she placed them on the desk.
“Thank you, black is perfect for me,” Gabriella said.
“I’m honoured that you have such belief in me,” I said.
“You know, sometimes it’s great to take yourself out of your comfort zone, try new things.”
I blinked a couple of times. Were we still talking about the job? I thought.
“That’s what I’m doing.”
We chatted a little more about the companies she controlled, and then she surprised me.
“I started off the same as you, Lauren. The man I was desperately in love with had been killed in a car crash, and for a long while I was totally lost. Mackenzie took me under his wing and look at me now.”
How had Mackenzie taken you under his wing? I wanted to ask.
Was that what he was doing to me? I shook the thought from my mind; I wasn’t going there.
“Well, I need to get across London in less than ten minutes,” she said, and then laughed.
She stood, we said goodbye and then she left.
I liked Gabriella, she was honest, clearly a good businesswoman, and someone I’d aspire to. But I was curious as to how she’d gotten to her position. I mentally slapped myself, wasn’t that very thought the same as I received? Didn’t it piss me off?
It was one of the things that I hated the most. My experi
ence was that women didn’t often support their female colleagues, especially if one was rising up the ranks. I made a vow never to be that woman. I vowed to be like Gabriella.
I thought back on what Mackenzie had said, about giving respect. Maybe, because I was so isolated, because I was on guard all the time, I did come across aloof. I didn’t support my female colleagues; perhaps I was just getting back what they perceived I gave.
I carried on with my day, making a point to take a moment to say goodnight to my team as they left for the evening.
Chapter Eleven
I took a taxi to the restaurant where I was meeting Gabriella and Alex, because I wasn’t sure on where it was. I was nervous. I stood outside the door, trying hard not to wipe my sweaty palms on my trousers. I took a deep breath and entered. I was met by the maître d’ and asked if I had a booking.
“I’m meeting Gabriella Collinsworth,” I said.
“Ah, we are expecting you, please, follow me.”
I was led through the restaurant to a table set in an alcove. Gabriella stood, and as she did I saw Alex. I was expecting an elderly gentleman, considering she’d told me he wanted to leave. I guess I’d translated that as retire. I wasn’t expecting the man, who stood to greet me, to be not much older than Mackenzie. Nor was I expecting him to be as charming. He took my hand and raised it to his lips. He planted a gentle kiss to the back of my hand.
“Lauren, it’s good to finally meet you,” he said, in a very upper class English accent.
“You too, thank you for taking the time to meet with me.”
He pulled a chair out for me to sit. Before I’d gotten myself comfortable, a waiter was beside me with iced water, pouring a glass.
“Would you prefer wine?” Alex asked.
“No, water is fine for me, thank you.” Not that I would normally drink wine during a ‘work’ meeting, but I noticed both Gabriella and Alex had soft drinks only.
A waiter placed menus on the table that we ignored initially.
“So, Lauren, tell me a little about yourself,” Alex asked.
I guessed the ‘interview’ had started. I gave details of my work life, the companies I’d worked for while at college, and what I did. He would occasionally interrupt to ask me to expand on something I’d said.
We paused so the hovering waiter could take orders.
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