by Sarah Price
Shana gasped as she realized what he was actually saying. "Take your baptism?" She turned to stare at him. "Why, Emanuel, you've never been baptized?"
He laughed nervously. "Better to never take the vow than to take it and break it."
"Then you aren't Amish!" Children of the Amish were never truly Amish until they took their baptism. If they never made the promise to obey the Amish church, they could not be shunned for doing non-Amish things, including buying cars or using electricity or socializing with the Englische. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Is it that important?"
"Well, I thought that..." She stopped, hesitant about telling him the truth of her feelings.
He laughed again, the nervousness gone from his laughter. She could tell that he was pleased with her concern that he had stepped outside the faith by that simple kiss that had lingered in both of their minds. "A commitment so great as baptism into the Amish faith is not something I should wish to make in haste." His laughter faded and he boldly enclosed his hand over hers. "Shana,” he said, his voice soft but strong. “Is that the reason you have been working so hard? Did you think I had broken my vow?" He did not wait for her answer. "I find that very admirable. But now that your conscience is cleared, you must not hide in your work." He hesitated, slowing the horse down again, pausing to glance at her. "Or from me."
At the Smucker's farm, Shana noticed a growing energy in Emanuel's step. He helped her down from the buggy, his hand gently squeezing hers as he disappeared into the barn to find Amos while Shana, still getting over the shock from his announcement, carried the homemade apple pie into the farmhouse where Miriam Smucker, a robust woman in her mid-forties, greeted Shana with a warm hello, took the pie and thanked her. Shana soon found herself seated at the table with Miriam. They talked about the harvest and the upcoming Sunday at the Lapp farm. Miriam's pleasant conversation blurred together and Shana barely heard one word. Instead, she thought about Emanuel.
It was almost an hour later before Emanuel came into the house to fetch her. Two young heifer cows were tied to the back of his buggy. Shana paused to scratch the one's neck before she waved good-bye to Miriam and let Emanuel help her inside. Before they started down the road, Emanuel spared her a reassuring smile then slapped the reins against Lucky Monday's back. As the buggy lurched forward, Shana jerked against Emanuel's arm. He steadied her with a soft hand before slipping his hand beneath the blanket and giving her hand a quick squeeze. And suddenly, the ten days that she had been dreading on the farm didn't seem as though they'd be long enough.
Chapter Eight
For the rest of Shana's vacation, she spent her days helping Katie prepare for the upcoming Sunday church service and her evenings in Emanuel's company. Whether Katie knew of Emanuel's secret liaisons, Shana never really knew. In the morning, shortly after she heard the men harnessing the mules for the day in the fields, she'd hurry out of her house, usually in time to sneak a smile and a wave at Emanuel, and headed for the farmhouse.
During the sunny days, Katie put Shana to work outside, weeding the garden and the flowerbeds. Shana didn't mind the isolation since the hot sun warmed her back and soul, even if she wondered whether Katie assigned her the outside chores to keep the Englischer out of her way. But Shana liked being able to sit in the grass and smell the freshly cut hay. She'd often gaze out into the field, her eyes seeking the silhouettes of the men on top of the hill, Emanuel behind the mules and the boys trailing behind. Sometimes she imagined that, perhaps, she might have caught him at a moment when he, too, was searching for her figure, crouched over the flowerbeds as she weeded.
During that week, Shana spent every night at the Lapp’s house for the evening meal. As the women prepared the meal, Shana would catch herself continually glancing out the window, hoping to see the men retreating from the barn. And each night, she tried to avoid appearing too friendly toward Emanuel when he followed the rest of the men into the house after the milking. Yet, his eyes always sought hers and she hoped that no one else noticed that his baby blues seemed to twinkle just a little more than usual whenever she was around.
Most evenings following supper, shortly after Shana had helped clean up and bid everyone goodnight, Emanuel would emerged from around the corner of the barn, either driving the buggy or riding Lucky Monday. He'd stop at Shana's door and knock, patiently waiting for her to answer. Then, when she appeared in the open doorway, he'd take a step back and ask her to accompany him, either for a made-up errand into town or a brisk ride in the cornfields.
On the evenings they rode in the fields, Shana sat in front of Emanuel on Lucky Monday's back. Emanuel wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, holding the reins firmly in his hands. She'd lean against his chest, her hands often resting lightly on top of his. His warm breath on the back of her neck excited her as did his strong arms wrapped so protectively around her. Gradually, she found herself yearning for more than his proper goodnight kisses.
When her vacation was over, so were the nightly rides after supper. At work, her mind wandered back to the pleasant talks she shared with Emanuel or to his self-controlled kisses. If she longed for more, she never pushed him. Indeed, she found herself racing home early, hoping to just spend some time with Emanuel, talking on the front porch. On the nights she managed to break away from the restaurant early, always he would appear as if he stood in the shadows, waiting for her arrival. The nights grew colder but still, they sat on her porch, sharing secrets and dreams.
"I always wanted to live in the country," she once confided in Emanuel. The cows stomped through the paddock as they clamored to the troughs of hay. "I love the animals and the peacefulness. It's so unlike my life at the restaurant."
"How is your work?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Work is...work. My review is next week. I doubt I'll make the promotion." If she felt any remorse, she didn't show it. "The best week of my life was when I helped Katie prepare for that Sunday church. At night, I went to bed and realized that all the work I did that day was important and appreciated. We worked hard and it showed. Unlike the restaurant, where the results take weeks, sometimes months to show."
"Planting takes a season to show. So does raising a cow or horse."
Shana smiled even though he couldn't see her in the darkness. "That's different. I'm talking about weeding the garden. Afterwards, you can feel good about a job well accomplished. Or baking a pie for the family. Your mother knows that the pie she makes will be eaten that night. And she hears how much everyone enjoys it."
Emanuel frowned. "Such little things to take pride in yet they mean so much. She is deaf to the compliments, Shana. All she hears is that the blueberries God grew in her garden tasted fresh. Her only pride is seeing her children grow up Amish and join the church."
For a long moment, they both fell silent. They both wondered how Katie and Jonas felt about the extra attention their eldest bachelor son showed toward her. As much as Shana and Emanuel tried to hide their clandestine friendship from his family, the attention as well as the affection was too obvious to have gone unobserved. Certainly by now his parents feared that Emanuel's baptism would never occur. Perhaps that was the reason for their increased pressure on him to decide.
A cool autumn breeze blew. Shana shivered and drew her jacket closer around her neck. Emanuel glanced at the sky, seeing the clouds covering the moon. "Soon it will be too cold for our talks, Shana."
She understood what that meant. It was improper for Emanuel to enter her house and when the cold weather came, they could not sit outside. "Then what?" she asked, her worried eyes searching his. The thought of not being able to share her daily events with Emanuel depressed her. On the nights when she worked the closing shift, she often came home and stood outside on her porch, staring at the massive shadow of the farmhouse and wondering if Emanuel's dreams were about her.
Emanuel met her gaze. She sought the answer from him. Sighing, he gently squeezed her hand. "We will find a way. Now, I must retire for the evening
. You go inside before you catch a cold." He leaned over and gently kissed her cheek before he stood and helped her to her feet. "Good night, Shana," he whispered then he disappeared into the darkness.
For the next three days, they did not see each other. Shana closed the restaurant each night, the usual sparkle in her eyes gone. Her employees noticed the change in their favorite manager but no one dared question it. Instead, they avoided the quiet Shana and went about their work. The day of her review came and, to Shana's surprise and disappointment, it went better than she had anticipated.
She sat in the booth with Jack and Robert, listening to them reiterate all that she had accomplished over the past few months. Then, with a broad smile, Jack leaned back in his chair. "Seeing how well you've handled everything, we've decided to transfer you with a minor promotion to a more challenging store in South Philly."
If Jack's announcement was supposed to please Shana, it failed. A transfer meant relocation and relocation to South Philadelphia meant leaving the peacefulness of the Lapp farm. Five months ago, she might have jumped at the opportunity. But now, with her growing feelings toward Emanuel and their friendship, the thought of leaving Lancaster County was the furthest thing from her mind.
Shana stared at both men before she leaned back, scratched the side of nose, and shook her head. "I cannot agree to that immediately. I'll need a couple of days to think it over." Her reluctance to accept their offer shocked both men but they only nodded their heads, giving Shana the weekend off to consider their offer.
She arrived home that evening at six. The sky was dark but the kerosene lamp still flickered from the kitchen window in the Lapp house. Shana parked her car and hurried through the bitter cold air to her house. She warmed some leftovers in the oven, wondering if Emanuel would visit. By the time she had changed out of her work clothes and sat at the table to eat, she heard his light knock at the door. Quickly running her fingers through her loose hair, she walked to the door and tossed it open.
"Home for the evening?" he asked.
A smile lit up her face. She leaned against the doorframe and held the door open with her hand. "Two day vacation," she said.
"I see." He glanced up at the sky. "Nice night."
Shana wondered why he was acting so proper and distant. "Indeed."
"There's a fair in New Holland tonight."
"Is there? I hadn't heard."
Emanuel shuffled his feet, glancing over his shoulder toward the barn. "You've been working so I must've forgotten to mention it. Brother Steve and I are in the rope pull. Thought you might want to take a ride out there."
Delighted, Shana could hardly hide her enthusiasm. "Sounds like fun."
" Ja," he replied. From the other side of the barn, the dog began barking and the kitchen door slammed shut. Emanuel cracked his knuckles, avoiding Shana's eyes. "Thought maybe you could pick up Steve's girl, too."
In the four months Shana had been living on the Lapp’s farm, Emanuel had never asked her to drive him anywhere. Usually they took his horse and buggy out, snuggling under a lap blanket, sometimes holding hands. "That sounds fine. Just come get me when you're ready to go." He nodded and walked away, his head bowed over and his hands stuffed into his pockets. For several minutes, Shana stood in the doorway, wondering what was so heavy on his mind.
Half an hour later, Steve and Emanuel were waiting for her by her small sports car. Shana unlocked the door for them, suddenly nervous about driving with Emanuel. She always felt so secure and protected whenever he drove the buggy. She had grown used to his being in control. She liked leaning on him for support and wisdom. Now, she was the one being leaned on, even if for something as simple as picking up Steve's girlfriend across town.
In silence, they picked up Liddy May and drove over to the fair. Shana noticed how quiet Steve and his girl talked, when they talked, with their heads bowed close together and their voices soft murmurs. Their conversations were short and to the point, mostly about church and the harvest. How different they are than Emanuel and I, she thought. Then, she suddenly wondered Emanuel's family thought about her relationship with their son. Certainly they didn't consider Shana to be Emanuel's "girl." She wondered what they did consider her.
The fairgrounds, large for such a small town, were packed with people. Shana found a parking space as close to the lot as possible. Then, zippering her black leather jacket, she braced herself for the cold October air. She walked close to Emanuel, wishing he'd put his arm around her but knowing he wouldn't. Steve and Liddy May kept a proper distance from each other, probably shocked at Shana's boldness. Finally, at the corner of the fairgrounds, Emanuel squeezed Shana's arm then disappeared with Steve into the crowd. Left alone with Liddy May, Shana quickly sized up the quiet Amish girl. She looked no older than sixteen, although Shana knew she was older. Her skin was clear and her complexion rosy, almost like a plain little china doll.
Liddy May's dark eyes stared uneasily at Shana. "I suppose we should go stand by the rope pulling area if we want to catch a good view."
Shana nodded and followed Liddy May through the crowd. Emanuel and Steve had joined their teammates near the announcement stand. Shana caught a glimpse of Emanuel but, with all the people shoving past her, she quickly lost sight of him. So, content with Liddy May, Shana waited patiently for the rope-pulling event to start.
It was almost an hour later before the men began to crowd into the blocked off area. Shana and Liddy May shivered in the cold, straining to see Emanuel or Steve. The announcer clicked on the microphone and said a quick "One, two, testing." Satisfied that it was working, he looked around the crowd. "Welcome to New Holland's annual rope-pulling contests!" The crowd cheered. "Tonight, we have our finalists. Teams from Bird-in-Hand, Goodvale, Farmersville, Intercourse, and Blue Ball will compete against each other for the championship!" The crowd roared. Shana jumped as a small crowd of Mennonite girls behind her screamed.
The rope-pulling officials unraveled a long and thick rope down the middle of the street. In the center of the rope was a piece of white tape. One of the officials set the portion of the rope with the tape on it over a white line in the street. The first two teams piled into the area, one team on either side of the rope.
Disappointed because Emanuel's team wasn't on first, Shana turned to Liddy May. "What are they suppose to do?"
Liddy May, equally disappointed, explained, "One team has to pull the other team's rope over that white line. Last night, there were ten teams. Tonight, whoever beats two teams is the champion."
"What do they win?"
"Fifty dollars goes to the town's fire department."
While the stakes didn't thrill Shana, the sudden blast of a whistle and the roar of the crowd did. She looked back at the men, ten on either side of the rope. They pulled, leaning as far back as they could. "Lord! They look as though they’re going to topple over!" Shana exclaimed. Liddy May laughed at her.
The Blue Ball team slid along the pavement, quickly crossing the line. The next two teams were Bird-in-Hand and Intercourse. Shana and Liddy May perched on the curb, joining the dozen of screaming Bird-in-Hand fans. They yelled and screamed, watching as the ten men leaned back, their arms wrapped around the thick rope, and their muscles bulging out of their arms. After thirty seconds, the Bird-in-Hand team won. Goodvale played Farmersville, then Intercourse against Blue Ball. Forty minutes later, Bird-in-Hand played for the championship title against Goodvale.
This time, Shana and Liddy May fought the crowd until they were standing on the edge of the crowd near the Bird-in-Hand team. Emanuel and Steve, both in the rear, wrapped their arms around the rope. They leaned back with the other men, their feet planted firmly on the ground, and, when the official tweeted his whistled, they pulled. Shana held her breath, urging them on as loudly as her voice allowed. Both teams pulled, one slowly sliding toward the line then the other losing their ground. After two minutes and seventeen seconds, Bird-in-Hand crossed the line. The crowd cheered but, disappointed, Shana didn't.<
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After the awards were handed out to the three placing teams, the crowd moved further down the road for the Women's Bucket Brigade, another contest sponsored for the various local fire companies. Shana stood with Liddy May, waiting patiently for Steve and Emanuel to appear. Neither looked half as disappointed as Shana had felt earlier.
"We placed second, Shana," Emanuel announced. He held up the small wood and brass plaque with a fire hat engraved on front.
"I saw." She took the plaque, carefully handling it as she read "Bird-in-Hand's Annual Tug-o-War's Second Place Winner." A fingerprint smug over the fire hat caught her attention and she wiped it away with the edge of her skirt. "Did you hurt your hands?"
He stretched out his hands and looked at his palms. "Just a little burn." He showed her the brilliant red insides of his hands. "I'll live," he teased in his quiet, gentle manner.
The main street of New Holland, temporarily transported into a colorful, vivacious carnival, seemed loud and rowdy for Shana. In God's country, she had grown accustomed to the quiet tranquility and peacefulness of the Amish. The gentle sounds of the farm and the people who lived there had spoiled her for the lights and noise. Together, they fought the crowds, most of the passing people casting curious glances at the Amish man with the Englische woman at his side.