by Karin, Anya
Gavin smiled his easy, disarming half-smile. “You can keep saying that if you want, I won’t be stopping you.”
He kissed her and she giggled. He pulled her tight and put his hand to the back of her head, cradling him against her chest.
“But you’re wrong,” he said. “You canna be the luckiest person in the world.”
“Oh, is that so? And why’s that?”
“Because I am, and I won’t let you say otherwise.”
Up above, the wheel of the ship groaned, and minutes later when the turn was complete, the sails caught wind and the mast creaked. John shouted that he thought Rodrigo was the pirate and should know how to do all of the work. Olga said how exciting it was to have known a real pirate, and Elena said something very loud in Spanish that Kenna thought it probably best she not understand.
“Seems like we’re headed back,” Kenna said. “We have to go get Duggan. I think Olga’s in love.”
“Scotland, the islands, I don’t care if we go to India. All that matters to me is right here, in my arms. We’ll go get Duggan. Everyone deserves to feel how I feel right now. I love you Kenna, more than you could ever know.”
For a moment, she was silent. Then she smiled. “No, no, Gavin. I think I love you exactly as much.”
She melted against his chest as he held her tight. He kissed her once on the forehead, once on the nose, and then brought his lips to hers.
“The whole world, Kenna. I’d cross the world to be with you.”
“Aye, and I you, Gavin. Good thing we don’t have to go that far.”
She kissed his chest, closed her eyes, and tugged Gavin to the floor.
“Hold me,” she said. “And let me sleep. It’s been days.”
He smoothed her hair and put his arm under her head. Snuggling down against him, Kenna let the gentle waves thumping against the hull of the boat, the gentle rise and fall of the ocean, lull her into a peaceful, safe sleep.
Twenty
Mornay’s Cleft
August 27
“There’s no smoke,” Kenna said. “Can you smell that?”
Gavin pulled a huge lungful of the fresh lowland air, smiling as the rounded scent of oak, fir and pine caressed his nose. “No smoke,” he said, “and no noise. It feels like the town has gotten back to how it likes to be.”
“Aye,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist the instant he hopped off his horse in front of Duggan’s inn. “It’s a beautiful li’l place, no?”
“That it is, lass!” The big, red-bearded Scot pushed open his door, stretched, and slapped his belly. “And a good welcome of a morning to all of you! We’ve all been quite worried. Am I to understand that the dinner at the Mayor’s wasn’t quite so peaceful and enjoyable as one might think?”
“Oh, to tell it would take days. How about some of those sausages?” John patted the big man on the shoulder and walked past him as he replied that some were already cooking.
“And oats?” Lynne asked.
“Aye, of course. For a lady like you, I’d mill my own.”
“You’re too kind, Duggan. But we’re famished, so I wouldna argue with you on that count.”
Disappearing into the inn, John and Lynne let their hands bump against one another’s and John grabbed hers, lifting it to his lips.
“They’re a good pair, aye?” Gavin said, turning to Kenna as her hair glittered in the morning sun. “I’m glad he found her. John’s never been one to be...ach, at any rate, she’s good for him.”
Rodrigo slid off his horse slower than any of the others.
“What’s wrong wi’ you?” Duggan said, helping Rodrigo off his steed. “Caught a crick?”
“No, no, I took an elbow in the back. Very painful.”
“Rodrigo, you are such a lying!” Elena pushed her husband through the door, cursing him in Spanish. She turned back when he was within and said, “He slept wrong the night last and twisting himself when he woke today. Gets old, won’t admit it!”
Duggan laughed so hard his belly shook. “Happens to all of us, dear. Every single one. Go get him something to eat, and if you want, I keep a cauldron of hot water boiling most o’ the day, so he can have a bath if he thinks it’ll help.”
With her standard courtesy, Elena gave a little curtsey and followed her grumbling Rodrigo inside.
“Ach! And there’s a face I hoped wasna gone forever!”
As soon as he saw Olga, Duggan’s red face turned an even brighter shade. He threw her arms around her, kissed her twice, and put such a crimson in her cheeks that Kenna couldn’t help but giggle.
“Oh! You fresh, fresh innkeeper! With your big scratchy beard and your...well I do suppose your eyes have something of a twinkle.” She smiled at him with open, unbound joy. Her round cheeks absolutely glowed no matter what sort of protest she put up.
Twining his thick fingers in Olga’s hair, Duggan stared at her for a moment longer. “It’s good – it’s so good to see you. I was afraid that...I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’ve not had such a fine time with anyone lately as I do you. When you vanished, I...”
“Oh, calm down there, Duggan with your red beard. It was a frightening thing, yes, but thinking about you kept me from worry. I knew I’d see you again.”
“You...did?” The big man blushed all over again, that time even his forehead turned pink. “Well, would you like something to eat? I think...ach, I’m not doing much of a job of hiding it. I missed you damn it! Come on, I’ll make you breakfast.”
With a hand on her back, Duggan led Olga to the door and opened it for her.
“Wait,” a raspy voice said as boots hit the dirt and walked slowly forward. “Duggan, wait.”
“Mayor? Mayor Willard? Why are you...?” Duggan’s eyes settled on the ropes on Willard’s wrists for a moment, and he whispered to Olga to go inside.
“No,” Willard cut in. “Go get the rest of them. Please.”
John was the first to return. “He’s been quiet for four days. Must have a lot bottled up. I’m interested to see what he’s got to say for himself after all he’s done. What sort of excuses might he have for his behavior. That’s why we’re here, I expect? To hear his excuses?”
Descending the steps deliberately, Rollo’s face was somber. “I hope he doesn’t take long. The ships usually leave Edinburgh for Tunisia tomorrow, and I’ll need to catch one unless I’m hoping to stay for another month.”
“Oh Rollo, I wish you would reconsider. Come to Fort Mary with us,” Kenna said as she grabbed his hand. “There are plenty of places there you’d be welcome.”
“No, I think delusion is what has kept me here so long. I don’t belong. By going along with...him...I allowed myself to become sullied with his cruelty. I see that now.”
“Rollo, you’re a good man,” Kenna said. “I hate to see you torture yourself for things that weren’t your fault.”
“Can you cut this? I won’t be running anywhere, I’m a bit tired for that,” Willard said, turning to Gavin.
The look Gavin returned was one of disbelief. He crinkled eyes in a squint and looked to Kenna, who nodded. “Aye, cut him loose,” she said.
As the ropes fell away, Willard rubbed his wrists and looked from person to person, making sure to catch each of them in the eye. Duggan cleared his throat.
“I stand before you all a man shamed. I am shamed by my own weakness, and my unwillingness to keep to what I know to be right. As John said, I’ve been silent since what happened on the boat. I’ve been thinking, and trying to come up with some way to explain myself to all of you.”
“He expects forgiveness? He was going to force Kenna to wed! He would have had us all enslaved! And you all listen to this?” John spat. “I’m finished. I’m finished with him and this whole damn fool game.”
“John,” Lynne said in a short voice. “You’ll listen and then you’ll decide. This is no time for hot headedness. Kenna, Olga, Elena and I were his prisoners too, and you don’t see any of us frothing at the mouth. But I
agree, he had better have quite an explanation for this.”
Willard licked his lips, which trembled slightly. “I deserve this. I know I do, and I’m not just saying so to get sympathy. To answer directly, no, I do not expect forgiveness, especially not after I visited my wrath upon two villages when it should have been upon only four men.”
John clicked his tongue against his teeth, but remained silent.
“My daughter, Sara, she...” Willard’s voice hitched in his throat. “Kenna, you remind me of her. You both have the same eyes. Hers were green, but you both have a way of looking that goes through a person. Do you know what Sara always told me?”
Kenna shook her head.
“This is coming from a girl who was hardly twenty when she was...taken. Whenever I made a rash decision, or did something that benefitted only myself at the expense of the towns, she looked at me with the crossest expression and said ‘Father, you’re a better man than to do this’, and she was always right. She was my conscience, and when she was gone, it broke me.”
Rollo stepped forward, reaching for Willard, but the mayor held him off with a shake of his hands.
“I turned my back on everything, on everyone who cared for me. I allowed myself to become bitter, to start seeing the people in these two towns – I let myself think of my friends – as monsters. I went from being someone who never spoke a harsh word to someone who called Rollo, my best friend for the past ten years, a hunch-backed cripple. Those words aren’t mine. That tongue isn’t one that I want. It would disappoint her; disappoint Sara, to hear me say things like that.”
“How are we to know you’ve not just spent the last few days figuring out the best way to weasel out of what you’ve done?” John asked. “Is it not convenient that you say this? That you say it now?”
“I...am a man of the Crown, am I not?”
“Aye, that you are,” John said.
“Legally, do you think anything would happen if you took me to court? I’m the mayor of these two towns. I administer them, I run them. I was appointed by King George to do this.”
John sat silent.
“I don’t mean this as a taunt. My point is that if I wanted, I could continue to do what has made me richer than I’ve ever been. I could keep selling the woods to the Company, make a fortune and move across the ocean at my whim. If I wanted, I could have the lot of you arrested, and probably Duggan, Lachlan and Egan as well for being privy to a conspiracy and not having spoken up.”
“You say that like a conqueror, mayor! You speak like someone who rules us, not as someone who lives with us.” Duggan stepped forward, a bit red in the face. “This isn’t the Willard I knew for a decade.”
“No, it isn’t, and that’s exactly what...what I’m trying to say. We are conquerors here. We English, we’ve taken up the idea that we’re for some reason better than all of you. Men like Ramsay Macdonald, and Sheriff Alan, they believe it true. Macdonald believes so fully that the Scots are inferior that he pretends to not be one. And that’s what I became. Do you see, Duggan?”
“Aye,” Duggan said as he scratched his beard. “But this dinna explain anything. You were ready to run us all into the ground, and I – forgive me, Councillor, I’m speaking out of turn.”
“No, you’re not, friend. And that’s what you are to me, Duggan, though I’ve forgotten it of late. You’re right. I was doing those things. When I lost Sara, I flew into a rage. If you’ll recall, I refused to leave my estate for a fortnight, and then when I finally emerged, it was in the black cloak that is even still in the back of the carriage from whence I came. Will you indulge my telling a story?”
John opened his mouth but Gavin silenced him with a hand on his shoulder.
“For my part,” he said, “I would never forgive you. I would never have let you speak. You tried to kill my friend, you tried to steal my fiancée, and it’s only thanks to her that you’re not dead right now.”
Willard nodded. “Yes, I know. For nine years, I fought a war within myself. I came here with the advantage of being born to an old family, and being born in England. When the Crown began to install mayors like myself, I was on a short list that included people like Christopher Fellworth, the man who runs the next county over. In fact, we went to Eton together. Within months of his being given the reigns, he’d put in a terrible tax, and begun to force the people to work on his estate to pay off what they could not from their harvests.”
“That sounds familiar,” John said under his breath.
“Yes – as well it should,” Willard continued. “Over the years, I watched his estate grow and grow. He had a mansion so large that he had not seen half the rooms in it, if he was to be believed. An army of servants catered to him. Do you know who those servants were?”
“Aye,” Duggan said. “One of ‘em was my daughter’s husband.”
The mayor nodded. “Yes. He was one of hundreds of people forced to work as slaves.”
“This is despicable,” Gavin said. “He should be tried!”
“He should, but he isn’t. Nor will he be. Despicable yes, illegal no. Remember, we are conquerors, no matter what anyone says. But as the years went on, his wealth grew. He was able to buy one of his sons a Governorship in some far-flung colony, and get his daughter into a marriage with one of the finest families on the Continent.”
Duggan’s eyes had begun to spark with realization. “All the while you were...”
“Yes, exactly,” Willard said. “I labored day and night to do whatever I could for these two towns, not because it was my job, but because people like Duggan and Lachlan and even Egan I suppose, were my friends. And whenever I started to think of them as something else, my Sara wouldn’t allow it.”
“But then,” Kenna said, “why...why would you force me to marry you? Just like Macdonald had done.”
Willard shook his head, then held it in his hands. “I’m...sorry. When my daughter died, my rock was gone. I was adrift and allowed all of the thoughts that she kept at bay, I let them run free. Fellworth visited me a week after I found out about her, and he told me ‘Steven, your problem is that you treat these Scots like they’re people. And look what it got you. Shabby clothes and a dead daughter.’ And I’ll never forget those words exactly as he spoke them. Shabby clothes and a dead daughter.”
He rubbed his eyes, and then looked at the ground before raising his gaze to Kenna. “That’s why. I saw her in you, and I’d allowed myself to believe that I’d been wrong all those years. That all of the Scots were the same, just murderous savages. I couldn’t...I couldn’t let you fall in with that.”
“You tried to keep your daughter’s memory alive by stealing my fiancée?” Gavin squinted hard at Willard. “You realize what this sounds like. It sounds like you’re mad.”
“And so I was. Am, probably, to some extent. It also sounds like I’m trying to excuse what I did by blaming it on my colleague, but I’m not. I’m only saying that what he told me at the exact time he did, well, it allowed me to drop my guard against my own weakness.”
For a long moment, no one spoke. Willard rubbed his wrists, and everyone else just watched him, waiting for something else to happen.
“What was it then?” Gavin spoke softly, but in the silence, it was loud enough. “What changed your mind?”
Willard shook his head. “As hard as this might be to believe, it was the sheriff. When he was trundling away in that little boat. If the situations were reversed, he would have killed you. I know he would. But instead of getting revenge, you just let him go. At first I was incensed. After all his lies, convincing me that lot would be treated humanely, after all he did. You just let him go.”
“In fairness, Mayor, his escape was on a rowboat in the midst of an ocean. He’s not like to resurface again,” Gavin said.
“But instead of putting a musket ball in his skull, you left that up to him. That’s...more than I can say for myself, the way I’ve been lately.”
“It’ll take time,” Duggan said to break ano
ther short silence. “We trusted you once, Mayor. This town has been through hard times. You were a light to us.”
“I know. That’s why I don’t expect this to come easy, or to come at all. I wanted to wait to say this, but if you think I should go, I will. I can’t live with myself knowing the pain I’ve caused to people who used to be my friends.”
“Ach, we’ll get over it. We always do. It’ll take time, yes, but if the townspeople know you mean what you say, then...put it this way – we’ve been through worse. But this isn’t what you need to be worrying about right now.”
“Kenna, I...” Willard turned to her with tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t possibly atone for what I’ve done.”
She looked back at him, jaw clenched, eyes narrow. Gavin stepped closer but she waved him off. “Let him speak, Gavin. He can’t hurt us, not anymore.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have you know that you changed my life. Your constant kindness, even in the face of my...my weaknesses. What my daughter did in years past, you’ve brought back. No matter what happens from this day forth, I won’t allow myself to fall into the hateful trap that I did. You’ve no reason to believe it, but I won’t.”
She grabbed Willard’s hands, and he fell to his knees, almost sobbing as he did. Kenna looked back and forth, first to Duggan, then to Gavin. Both of them returned her wide-eyed look as the mayor’s slumped shoulders trembled. John’s hard gaze softened. Rollo dropped the bag he was carrying, but no one moved.
“Anything you want,” Willard repeated. “Any promise I can make, just say.” He took a deep breath that rattled on the way out. “I’ve committed wrongs in my life as any man has, but none worse than this. I do not ask forgiveness, but I must...must make it right if I can.”
Kenna looked back to John, back to Duggan, and then let her eyes settle on Gavin, who had his lip between his teeth. She nodded as though he was conveying something to her without words.
“First I want you to look up at me,” she said to the mayor. “What you say is true – we all make mistakes, and we all suffer for them. What Macdonald did to me, he didna regret except for how it ruined his reputation. Rollo told me days ago, that I should give you a chance, that you were a good man who had a terrible turn happen to him.”