by Sharon Green
Need. With everything going on he had a lot of needs, but the one that was taking most of his attention had nothing to do with the man he was after. A couple of hours earlier he'd spent ten or fifteen minutes talking to his wife, and it had been far and away the best time he'd ever had. She'd been so touchingly sweet about the loss of his brother, and then she'd joked with him the way she had when they'd first met at the ball. No threats, no arguments, just mutual teasing that had almost had them both laughing aloud.
And that was what he needed most, more of that sort of attention from the woman of his dreams. She'd even touched him gently on the arm again, a gesture more arousing than another woman's stripping naked would have been. If it had been possible he would have made love to her right there, in the grass with the sky and sun watching and laughing… Or watching in envy of his incredible good luck. If things kept on improving, he might have the marriage he wanted even sooner than he'd hoped.
Bryan was just short of whistling when he entered the house, but when one of the servants informed him Sarah Raymond was still in her rooms, he sobered quickly and hurried up there. It had been more than half a day since their visit to Harding's house, but Sarah still wasn't herself. She might even be lying there needing a physician, while he'd gone blithely about his own affairs, thinking she was just sleeping. If anything serious resulted from his negligence, he'd save Jamie the trouble of having to kill him…
Sarah's sitting room was empty, so he knocked softly on her bedchamber door. He didn't want to wake her if she really was asleep, but a moment after the knock she herself opened the door. She wore a lounging robe in yellow, which pointed up how pale she still looked.
"Bryan, what's wrong?" she asked at once, stepping out to put a hand to his arm. "You look so disturbed. Has something happened?"
"Sarah, what I'm disturbed about is you," he answered in exasperation. "You still look so pale… Do you want me to send for a physician?"
"Don't be silly, I don't need a physician," she returned with a small but very amused smile. "What I do need is a cup of tea, which I've already sent for. Why don't we sit down while we're waiting for it."
She moved past him into the sitting room proper, leaving him no choice but to follow. When he sat in the chair opposite the one she took, she smiled at him again.
"Will you please stop looking so grim?" she said, shaking her head in mock annoyance. "I didn't expect to react so strongly to your wife's story, and I'm only now beginning to get over it. But I will get over it, so stop picturing me at death's door."
"Actually, I was picturing myself there once Jamie got back," he countered, relief turning his tone dry. "I knew what we would hear would be ugly and evil, and if I'd stopped to think I would have sent you back here first. Her willingness to talk about it surprised me, but - "
"Bryan, I am not a child or a fragile doll," she interrupted, her annoyance now real. "If you'd tried to send me back here, you would have had a war on your hands. Jamie knows that even if you don't, so stop expecting him to come charging after you with blood in his eye. Whatever happened was no one's fault but mine - and, in another definite way, his."
"Sarah, you're not making any sense," Bryan said, wondering if it would be smart to attempt to soothe her. "Hearing that story affected you badly, but that can't be considered your fault. And it certainly isn't Jamie's fault that you're a sweet, sensitive, feeling woman - "
"Bryan, what I am is a woman in the family way!" she all but snapped, her patience clearly at an end. "I didn't want to tell you that, not until I told Jamie, but you're making this absolutely impossible. I'm not sick or sweet or sensitive, just enceinte. I had no idea that your wife's tale of horror would hit me so hard, and I've been taking it extra easy just to be on the safe side. Is that perfectly all right with you?"
"I think you've been spending too much time in my wife's company," he muttered, shocked at her peevishness, and, at the same time, delighted and elated at her news. Jamie was finally going to be a father! Now he'd have a reason to spend more time at home, the sort of reason Bryan was certain Jamie had been looking for ever since he and Sarah had married. But contrary to Sarah's belief, Jamie would not be easy and understanding about what his wife had gone through, especially not now. That was one point Bryan understood better than Sarah ever would.
"It's strange you should mention spending time in your wife's company," Sarah said, leaning back at ease while she studied him. "She's definitely changed her attitude toward you, but for some reason she seems to dislike me now even more than she did. Do you have any idea why that would be?"
"Not the slightest," Bryan answered, only just stopping himself from suggesting it was Sarah's imagination. Expectant women were supposed to be pampered, not argued with. "If she has a specific reason, I may find it out in the next few days. I've decided to let her come to London with me, even though it's mostly against my better judgment. If I could be certain that leaving her here would mean she would stay here…"
"But you can't be certain, even if you have her guarded," Sarah said with too much amusement for his taste. "We still haven't figured out how she escaped from a locked room, so having guards outside her door might do no good at all. How early tomorrow are we leaving?"
"We aren't," Bryan stated, standing just as a housegirl entered with tea service on a tray. "She and I are, but you're staying here. After being sick most of today, you're not spending most of tomorrow in a bouncing coach. Besides, Jamie is due back at almost any time. Are you going to make him trek from your house to here then all the way to London before he can see you? Do I have to tell you what his mood would be like by then?"
"No," she answered with a sigh, the old, reasonable Sarah back again. "He'd be really angry with me, and I couldn't blame him. And you're right about my not looking forward to spending all those hours in a coach, not so soon. I'll wait for Jamie, then he and I will come together - as long as you're sure you won't need me sooner."
"I'm positive I won't need you sooner," Bryan said, making the statement absolutely firm. "What I need is to see you back in good health, and then we can celebrate. Especially if Rianne and I happen to catch up to our quarry by then."
"So you two will finally be working together," Sarah said with a smile. "I'm sorry to be missing that, especially if you intend to be intelligent about the arrangement. If she finally feels she might be able to trust you, it would be the perfect time to do some courting."
"I'll have you know I've already made a start on that," Bryan told her, letting a smug smile show how virtuous he supposedly felt. "The first of my plans may not have worked as well as I would have liked, but I've only just begun. From now on I expect to do a good deal better."
"I'm really delighted, my dear," Sarah said with a warm, true smile. "You'll see, everything will go much better that way. There are untold benefits in civilized courting, which you're now certain to learn about."
"You'll never find me refusing benefits," Bryan said with a grin, ready to leave. "Especially untold benefits. I hear they're much tastier than told benefits."
Sarah laughed at that, momentarily looking a good deal better, and then she sobered again.
"Bryan, I know it's against your nature, but this time I want you to be careful," she said. "That girl… Neither of us will ever really know what she went through, and I thank God for that. But quite a lot of what she does is caused by what she went through, and I believe there are times she has no control over it at all. If you aren't careful enough for both of you, something - horrible - could happen."
"There's already been too much of the horrible in this," he said with a heavy nod. "I intend to be careful enough for an entire company, so will you please stop worrying?"
When she smiled and also nodded he walked over to kiss her cheek, then left her to the maid who was waiting to serve tea. Poor Sarah was suddenly worrying about everything, but Bryan knew that was only to be expected in her condition. Her condition. He drew a deep breath as he reached his rooms, then
poured himself a drink and sat down to do some thinking.
He was delighted that Sarah and Jamie were finally going to have a child, but he also felt suddenly abandoned. He had confided in Sarah and relied on her opinion for the last two months, ever since his plan against Robert Harding had begun drawing to an end. She was as easy to talk to as her husband, and Bryan's planning always went better when he talked it out to someone first.
But at the moment Jamie was still away, and Sarah was in no condition to be burdened with any more of his problems. He'd meant to ask a lot of questions about this courting business, specifically the best way to go about it and whether or not you mentioned to the woman what you were doing. It seemed silly to think a woman might not know she was being courted, so he'd decided on his own that you didn't make any sort of fatuous announcements that would make you feel like a fool. After all, the woman was already his wife… That had sounded like the most reasonable answer so he'd stick with it, but he would have felt a good deal better if he'd been able to ask.
But now that was impossible. Bryan sighed, unsurprised that his earlier elation had faded to nothing. Despite the optimism brought on by his short exchange with Rianne, he really wasn't anywhere near to being out of the woods with her. He was certain the girl insisted on going to London with him only because they now had a common enemy. Instead of finding a man to love she'd found one to hate, and now everything was taking second place to a newborn passion for revenge. She was eager and alive, but only at the thought of hunting their quarry. Strange how the same thought completely ruined his mood.
And that was one of the reasons why he'd made sharing his bed a condition of her going along. If her days were spent looking elsewhere than at him, at least her nights would be filled with the knowledge of his presence. Maybe then she would begin to really see him, not as a vehicle for vengeance or a brute who had forced his way into her life, but as a man who very much wanted her love. His own love was useless without hers, empty and one-sided and doomed to die for lack of its mate…
He finished his drink in a single swallow, then got up to ring for a bath. It was getting on toward dinnertime, and he didn't want to be late. His blood surged at the thought of what after-dinner would bring, and that was the second reason he'd insisted on the terms he had. He'd never wanted a woman as much as he wanted his wife, a wife he'd touched all of once. And unless God took pity on him and granted him a miracle, he could still end up having to let her go once their search was successful. It was beyond him to force her to stay, so against that time he would store all the memories he could, to warm him during the following, possibly empty years of his life.
"But maybe I will get that miracle," he muttered, rubbing his face with one hand. "What I'd like to do is carry her off to a mountaintop or a cave and make her know she belongs to me. But Sarah wants me to learn to do things in a civilized way, and she's probably right. Be civilized, and win the girl."
Right. He smiled faintly as he began again to think about his belated courtship, which had at least one good side to it. He already knew he would end up getting the girl into his bed…
Rianne sat at her vanity table, slowly brushing her hair. Dinner had been served very early, and it had been delicious. She'd worn a relatively plain gown of gold brocade, and amusingly her table companion had worn a coat and breeches of the same material. His dark-red hair had been tied back with a golden ribbon, his dark-red vest had covered a shirt dripping ruffles, and his cravat had been a snowy-white edged in lace. With gleaming gold buckles at shoe tops and knees, he'd been a resplendent sight.
And attentive. He'd seated her to his right in the small, private dining room just off the main hall, and hadn't left it to servants when her glass of champagne needed refilling. His conversation had been light and charming, filled with compliments he seemed to be completely sincere about, and once dinner was over he'd escorted her to her rooms. She would want privacy to prepare for bed, he'd told her, and then had left her with a maid to do his own preparing.
"So what is he up to?" she asked her reflection in a mutter, free to do so with the housegirl gone. "No threats, no dragging me around or locking me up, no forcing me out of clothes or into tubs… He must be up to something."
Which was undoubtedly true, and she knew he was playing some game even though she hadn't been able to figure out what it was. And she'd been so distracted, she'd unthinkingly chosen a night ensemble from her things sent over that might not be quite appropriate. Made of sheer lawn in a lustrous silver, both gown and robe were so delicate that they seemed as thin as spiders' webs. This time she also wore matching slippers, but the ensemble created an impression she hadn't intended…
"He'll think you want to sleep in his bed," she murmured to her reflection, knowing that was utter nonsense. The man was interested in nothing more than her body, which wasn't the same as wanting her. She couldn't possibly find herself truly attracted to someone like that, but maybe there was just the least bit of that bodily desire Angus and Cam had told her about. After all, the man was impressive in a backward and overbearing way. And, at least for the moment, he was her husband…
"But he's also up to something," she reminded herself firmly. "If you can't find out what it is, you'll try that game of your own."
Just then a knock came at the door, and not the timid knock of a housegirl. Rianne put the brush down and rose, then went to the door and opened it. Just as she'd suspected he was there, wearing his blue velvet dressing gown with his white cravat tucked into the front. This time the ribbon tying back his hair was silver, which couldn't possibly be a coincidence.
"And to think I believed you looked good earlier," he said, those gray eyes moving over her slowly. "May I come in?"
"What if I said no?" she asked, looking at him with her head to one side. "Would you simply go back to your own rooms in a huff?"
"I'm too big to fit into a huff," he responded, his answer as mild as her question had been. "Are you saying no?"
"No," she replied, finding it impossible not to grin. "It would take the maids forever to unpack all those trunks they only just packed for the trip. Do come in."
"If you weren't wearing those silver moonbeams, I'd probably resist that invitation until I got some of my men up here," he said, glancing around as she stepped back out of his way. "All my instincts tell me there's got to be a sinister reason for such a gracious welcome. Have you figured out a way to dig a pit in the middle of a wooden floor, or have you just poisoned the champagne?"
"Oh, definitely a pit," she said, closing the door behind him. "Poisoning good champagne would be barbaric. But I'm afraid I won't be joining you in drinking what's here. I've had enough for one night."
She tried to keep her innocent expression in place as he looked at her with one brow raised, but it really wasn't possible. He'd been joking about her poisoning the champagne, of course, but suddenly he wasn't quite sure. Since keeping a straight face was beyond her she changed to a pleasant and friendly smile, and that seemed to bother him even more.
"Now I'm really worried," he said, blinking at her. "Inviting me in without hesitation, smiling at me, no threats or accusations… What are you up to?"
"I'm just upholding my end of our agreement," she answered with a shrug. He was probably accusing her in an effort to confuse her. "But what about you? All those charming compliments and little attentions at dinner… I've been trying to figure out what else it's possible for you to be after."
"Can't a man be attentive to his wife without wanting anything?" he asked innocently. "I've been too involved in other things to do the job properly until now, so I'm trying to make up for it. You don't mind, do you?"
"I don't know," Rianne answered, one finger to her lips in consideration. "I was beginning to get used to being dragged places and locked up and ignored. Now you're asking me to get used to something else entirely. I'll have to think about it."
"A man can't expect fairer treatment than that," he allowed, a gleam of strong amusement
in those eyes. "And while you're thinking about it, I'll just continue with catching up on being attentive."
He put his hands to her shoulders and gently drew her close, then bent his head to touch her lips with his. It was definitely a touch rather than a kiss, followed by another two or three of the same. Then his big hand brushed the hair back from her neck, and the warm feather touches of his lips moved to there.
Rianne found it all she could do not to gasp or moan. The physical attraction she felt for this man was much stronger than she'd thought; her body had begun to tingle the moment his hands touched her, and now her blood raced around madly while her heart thumped like an ax chopping a tree. But he hadn't told her what he was up to even after she'd asked straight out. He was still playing games, so she had to do the same.
"Will - will you tell me something?" she managed, although the words were a trifle on the hoarse side. She also fought to make her mind work, so that she'd have what to ask if he agreed. Almost … Almost she wished he would refuse…
"I'll tell you anything you like," he returned in a murmur, his breath warm on her neck. "There have been too many secrets between us, and I'd rather not have any more."
Her hands had somehow slid around him to his back, and the soft velvet felt strange over the hard muscularity it covered. She was also pressed against his body in front, the awareness of which made her close her eyes against waves of dizziness.
"I - saw Angus and Cam arriving late this afternoon," she said, accidentally stumbling across an appropriate topic. "They said they'd been treated well and Angus was feeling much better, but - What will become of them? Are you going to send them back to the stables at my stepfather's house, or … maybe…"
"Or maybe turn them over to the authorities?" he finished when she didn't, raising his head to look down at her. "Little one, when will you understand I'm really not like all those people who lied to you? When I give my word about something, I keep it. Your two … brothers will be given the chance to train for one of my companies. If they're good enough to learn what they have to, the jobs are theirs."