Southern Kings: A Gangster Love Story

by KC Mills

  I was angry, so fucking angry, that I couldn't even think straight. How could they let that muthafucker out? Why was it so easy for them to forget what he did to our mother? That was the part that pissed me off the most. The fact that she meant so little to them that they didn't even feel like he should have to serve the time that they gave him.

  Letting him out meant that in their eyes he deserved a second chance, but what about our mother? She was gone because of him. She would never get that chance, and the fucked up part about it was that my own father took her life. It was cool though because I was gonna take his. Keys and Hayes knew it, but more than anything, I wanted Lewis’bitch ass to know it.

  I wasn't going to do it right away, I needed him to fear me, to understand what that felt like. He did that to her, every day that she was with him she feared him, and he needed to know how that felt. I was no longer that helpless little eight-year-old that he tied to a chair and made him watch as my mother was beaten damn near to death, who heard her bones crack in her neck when he finished her off.

  Nah, that wasn't me anymore. I was a got damn man, and Lewis was going to know that. Our mother died because of me. She choose my life over hers, and to this day that shit still fucks me up. I never told anyone everything that happened that day. Not even Keys and Hayes. How could I? How would they look at me if they knew that there was a choice made that day? That Lewis told my mother that if I lived, she died. She looked at me, told me she loved me and my brothers, and then looked him straight in his eyes and told him to do what he had to do. She wasn't going to let him touch me.

  My father looked my way with an evil smirk that I will never forget, and then nodded at my mother. “You better thank her, boy, because she’s the only reason why you’re gonna live to see another day.”

  That was the last thing he said to me before he started delivering the deadly blows to her one by one. I sat there tied to a chair and cried with every one that connected to her body. I felt weak and helpless. She was my mother and I couldn’t do shit for her. She loved me enough to die for me, and I was too weak to stop her from making that choice. She didn't fight back because she wanted me to live, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let that go. It plays in my head over and over again.

  The only way I ever got any peace was when I was asleep, but even then I would wake up with the memories fresh on my mind like they had just happened. A few times I tried to silence them but putting a gun to my head or in my mouth. I really thought about pulling the trigger, and the one time that I was confident that I would, Hayes walked in on me and fucking lost it. He was screaming at me with tears in his eyes, begging me not to. The look in his eyes was the only thing that stopped me, but it didn't stop the urge I felt to do it. I just knew I couldn't because of him. I wasn't going to do to him what Lewis had done to me. Taking my own life would have been just as bad as Lewis taking our mother’s life. For Hayes anyway.

  I pulled up a few buildings down from Reelle’s apartment because I couldn't decide if I was really going in or not. For the past two days I had been missing her like crazy. I wanted to talk to her, hold her, in fact, thoughts of her was the only thing that kept me going.

  We had only known each other for less than a month, and most of that time we were arguing with each other. But in such a short amount of time, I felt more loyal to her than I had with any woman I had ever met. There was something about her that I just couldn't let go of. I didn't understand it, I didn't have a fucking clue what to do with it, but I knew I couldn't let go of it.

  I needed her, and that scared me. I didn't want to feel like that, but I had no control over it. It had always just been my brothers. There were women in my life, had always been, but I never let myself feel anything. With Reelle it was different. It wasn't even about what I was allowing to happen; it was about what she was making happen. I bet she didn't even know it either.

  We didn't have conversations like that. I was just with her, hell she probably thought I didn't give a fuck about her and that I was still out there hitting random bitches, but I wasn't. After being with Reelle, I didn’t even want to be with anyone else.

  It wasn't like females weren't trying, because they were, but I shut it down with the quickness. I just didn’t know how to express that shit to her. That wasn't my thing, so I didn't know how that worked, but what I was sure of was that if another man so much as looked at her, he was gonna fucking die.

  She always asked me little slick shit about us and how I felt, but my answer was always the same. I’m here, Reelle. To me that meant a lot. It meant that we were good. I didn't know how else to express it, so that was all I could offer her.

  I looked around and didn't see her car, which didn't sit well with me. It was late, and the idea of her being out with another man crossed my mind, and I felt my pulse racing. I lifted my gun from the passenger seat of my car before getting out. I then opened my trunk, grabbed my bag, and took the short walk to her building.

  After I let myself in, I checked her place to see if anything looked suspect, and it really didn't. Her bed wasn't made, but the covers were only pulled back on one side. There were no dishes in the sink, and her bathroom didn't show any signs that anyone used it but her.

  Once I was satisfied, I headed to the hall closet and grabbed what I needed to shower. I was hoping she’d be home soon. I missed her, but I also knew I had some shit to explain so for now, I was gon’ just chill here and wait. After I got things straight with her, I’d check in with my brothers to let them know I was good but right now, she was my priority.

  Eventually, I dozed off waiting, not really sure when, but I knew I was tired as hell. I hadn't slept much in the past two days, so it made sense that my body shut down on me. Being here in her apartment was like a safe haven for my thoughts. I woke up to the sound of her voice and I heard some shit that had me heated. She called another man's name.

  “Henry, I really appreciate it. You didn't have to do that for me and it means a lot so thank you.”

  I watched as she stepped in her apartment, shut and locked the door. It was dark so she couldn’t see me from where I was sitting on her sofa but she damn sure heard my voice, just as she turned on the light.

  “Who the fuck you on the phone with Reelle?”

  I startled her so damn bad that her phone slipped out of her hand and hit the floor. I glanced at it and could see the name Henry on the screen. The same name she just said out loud.

  Her hand touched her chest and she was about to bend over to pick up her phone but I cocked my gun and aimed it at her, so she stopped dead in her tracks.

  “Who the fuck is Henry, Reelle?” I was on my feet in a matter of seconds and had my hand on her phone. I ended the call and held it in the air but that shit started ringing again so I answered it.

  “Call this line again and I will find you and put a got damn bullet in your head.” Again I ended the call and then turned it off.

  “What the hell did you do that for. He’s my classmate, Yetti, and you better put that damn gun down.”

  She pointed at my gun and I looked down at it before I lowered it and placed it on the table next to me. The second I did she rushed me and shoved me with all her strength actually causing me to stumble backwards a little but I quickly regained my balance and caught her wrist.

  “Yo, calm down Reelle. I done told you, if I don’t put my hands on you, then don't put your fucking hands on me.”

  I shoved her back again, but her wild ass couldn't take a hint because she rushed me again, but this time I grabbed her arm and spun her around circling my arms around her body to hold her still. She was fighting against me the entire time.

  “Let me go, asshole! You just pulled a gun on me, and I’m not having that shit.”

  “Reelle, calm the fuck down. I wasn't gonna shoot you and you know it. I just needed you to answer me, damn.”

  “I don't KNOW anything about you. I thought I did, but apparently I don't, which you proved to me over the past two d
ays. Now let me go, and get the fuck out of my apartment, Yetti.”

  “I’ll let you go, but I’m telling you Ree, keep your got damn hands to yourself on some real shit, I mean it.”

  “Fine just let me go.” She yelled, and like an idiot I did as she asked, but she spun around, hauled off and slap the shit outta me. I lunged at her, but caught myself. She scurried back fearing what I would do to her. I wasn't gonna do shit though, so instead, I just rubbed my face and glared at her. This was the second time she had done that shit and damn sure there wasn't gonna be a third.

  “Yo, let me tell you something, and I need this to be real clear. I told you I don't hit women but if you put your hands on me one more fucking time, I’m gon’ throw your little ass into a wall or something and I mean that shit, Reelle.”

  My eyes were on hers, and I made sure she understood the truth in my words. When I could see that she did, I sat down on her sofa.

  “Don't sit. You need to leave. It's been two days, Yetti. I’ve been calling you and texting you for two whole days. You haven't answered me, not once. I was worried about you and you were like ‘fuck you, Ree.’ So now it's fuck you, Yetti. Just go please.”

  Her body was shaking because she was so mad, and she had tears in her eyes. She hadn't let them fall yet, but they were there and that had me feeling like shit. I wasn't used to that. Women cried over me all the time, but on some other type shit. It was usually because they wanted something I wasn't going to give like my time or money but Reelle was crying because she cared about me and I hurt her. I could see it in her face and I didn't know what to do with that.

  “I’m sorry, damn. I just needed some time. Things are really fucked up right now, and I had to take some time to figure out what I was doing.”

  “But what about me, Yetti? You don't think things were messed up for me? You don't think you owed me at least an explanation after seeing you like that?”

  For some reason that hit hard and I was pissed so I jumped up and moved to her. She took a step back and I closed the space again grabbing her by her shoulders while looking down at her.

  “I don't owe you shit, Reelle. Who are you to me? We barely even know each other, so how the fuck you think I owe you something?”

  I felt my chest heaving as I glared at her. Her first tears fell but now she was more angry than hurt. My words hurt and I knew it, but she was more angry about them.

  “Let me go, and get the fuck out! You’re right, we barely know each other, so you don't owe me a got damn thing. Yetti Masters doesn't owe anyone, anything, ever!”

  It took everything in her but she snatched away from me and was at the door before I even realized she was moving. She had it open with her hand on it waiting.

  I kept my eyes on her, not saying anything until I moved her way using my hand to force it shut. “I owe you, Reelle and I’m sorry for taking it there. Just let me explain, can you give me that?”

  This time my voice was calm and controlled. I waited and she just looked at me before her hand moved to her face and she used the back of it to wipe the few tears that had fallen.

  “Okay, fine. Explain. I’m sure it won't change anything but I deserve to know.” She folded her arms, walked to the sofa and plopped down on it.

  I moved closer to where she sat and stood in front of her, looking down into her face.

  “Well?” Reelle held her hand up, signaling for me to begin.

  After releasing a frustrated breath, I sat down on the coffee table in front of her and began.

  “My mother died because of me. My father killed her.”

  “What?” It was so low that I almost didn't hear her but the fact that I saw her lips move, let me know that she had spoken.

  “My father, killed my mother. It was either her or me. He made her choose and she chose me. He tied me to a chair and made me watch him take her life. The entire time he beat her, she kept her eyes on me. So I’m fucked up, Reelle. I'm broken in ways that you will never understand. You don't see shit like that and not end up damaged.”

  “You’re not dam—”

  “Don't even say that shit. You don't know me, Reelle. You only know what I let you see. Why the fuck you think I can't tell you certain things, shit like how I feel when I’m with you or how I know I need you? I don't know how to do that shit. It's not that I don't want to, I just don’t know how. Every time I try, I just get frustrated and say fuck it.”

  “But you do tell me. Just in your own ways.”

  “Really, it don't matter. I get that now. I’m not supposed to have all this. It's not for me, and I’m only here because I wanted you to know that I tried. I just can’t. I’m not what you need, Reelle.”

  She was on her feet and moved to me. She worked her way between my legs and placed her hands on the sides of my face.

  “You don't get to make that decision. It's my life, right?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “Then you can't make that decision for me. I don't need perfect. I just need you, so don’t tell me what’s good for me. I want this, and so do you, but you gotta let me in. You have to let me in, Yetti.”

  “I don't know how to do that.” It wasn’t that easy for me.

  “Yes, you do, you are right now.”

  She leaned down and connected her lips with mine. My hands grabbed the back of her thighs and I pulled her closer to me. It was like a sudden calm surrounded us.

  When she let go, I looked up at her and with a seriousness that I needed her to understand, I looked her right in the eyes and spoke. “I'm gonna kill them, Ree. Everyone involved and I put that on God.”

  She didn't flinch, but I could see the uncertainty in her eyes but she simply nodded and said ‘Okay’.

  I was positive she didn't know what that meant, but I needed her to understand what was about to happen. Everyone who played a role in it was going to die. The judge, his lawyer, the cop that looked at me and my brothers with a fucking smirk on his face and told us that we were going to be fucked up for life after he walked around our house checking out what had gone down. Hell, he was right, we were inches away from being committed, but his job was to serve and protect, not to make things worse. That shit was funny to him then, but I could guarantee he won't be laughing when the barrel of my gun was pressed against his forehead. It was only a matter of time, but I was gon’ make that happen.

  Hayes

  When I got the call that my brother was good, I was happy as fuck. It didn't know what I would do if anything happened to either one of us. It was like one couldn’t exist without the other two, hell I knew I couldn't. I was a grown ass man with a family of my own, but I relied on my brothers and they relied on me.

  That was how we worked, and that wasn't gonna ever change.

  I had just left the doctor’s office with Rah and we got word that things were good with her and the baby. She was almost twelve weeks, which meant that she had gone almost three months without taking care of our child. I was a little pissed about that, but I let it slide. Things were good right now and she seemed happy about the baby, so I didn't want to go there with her.

  Zora was happy as hell and kept going on and on about having a little sister but I low key wanted a son. Either way, as long as the baby was healthy, I was cool with it. Right now I was about to take them home so that I could meet Keys at Yetti’s house. We needed to have a conversation about what was about to go down.

  I glanced at Rah and she was staring out the window, but had been quiet since we left the doctor’s office. I gripped her thigh and looked back and Zora through the rearview mirror and she was slumped over knocked out.

  “Why you so quiet?”

  “No reason.” Rah looked at me and smiled, but it was faint, barely there.

  “What’s up, baby. I know you which means, that I know something’s on your mind.”

  Rah inhaled and then looked right at me. “I want to get married, Hayes.”

  “Married, where that shit come from?” I asked a little confu
sed.

  I mean, we had talked about it a few times, but nothing serious. Shit we were good, and I didn't need paperwork to prove to her that I wasn't going anywhere. After all this time she should know that.

  “From me. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Why not, we’re about to have another baby, and you claim that you’re not going anywhere, so why not, Hayes?”

  “Because we don't need that shit. Marriage don't mean a got damn thing, Rah. It's just paper work. What matters is what's in here.” I lifted my hand and pressed my finger into her chest. “My parents were married, and look what happened. That nigga wasn't shit and it didn't stop him from taking her life, did it? We’re good, Rah, why fuck that up?”

  “Because it's what I want, Hayes. How many times do you say that you're not your father? You’re not him, so why can't I have that if it’s what I want?”

  “You’re damn straight I ain't that weak muthafucker and I never will be.” I cut my eyes at her and she shut up quick. “Rah, I get it, I do, but we’re good. Just leave it at that, okay I’m not going anywhere, and you know that. We don't need to be married for you to know that.”

  “Fine. I won't bring it up again.”

  I could tell that she was angry, but she’d be alright. I just wasn't with that shit right now. Marriage didn't mean forever, in fact from what I’d seen in my life, marriage made shit worsen and I didn't want that. I loved Rah with everything in me and I would never leave her but I didn't want that dark cloud hanging over my head. We didn't need that shit. We were good and I wanted to stay that way.

  When we got to the house, I got Zora out and carried her inside. While I laid her in our bed, Rah stripped out of her clothes and threw on leggings and a t-shirt. I really wanted to slide up in her real quick, but I knew she wasn't having it so I let it slide.

  “Yo, let me get those pictures of the baby so I can show Yetti and Keys.”

  I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She tensed up but relaxed a little when my lips connected to her neck. I knew this marriage shit was gonna be a problem for a minute, but hopefully she would be over it soon.