“How can you think about a job for me after what you’ve just told me?”
“Those people can’t hurt me. As for the rest, my adopted family has made me believe I’m as worthy of love and respect as anybody else. As long as I have them, I don’t need anything else.”
Josie wasn’t so sure about that.
Suzette lay next to Hawk, listening to the soft sound of his breathing as he slept. She resisted a strong impulse to wrap her arms around him and hold him close. Their time together was coming to an end. Tomorrow they’d reach Benson. Both Hawk and Zeke agreed she and Josie ought to look for jobs there before going on to Tombstone. If they didn’t find anything in Benson, they could always go to Tombstone or even Bisbee. It was a very sensible plan, but Suzette was feeling rebellious. And angry.
In a few short days she’d become convinced that the only man she could ever love, the only man she would consider spending her life with, slept beside her. And he was the one man with whom such a life was impossible. He didn’t have the money she needed to finish her sister’s education and support her properly until she married. He was not the kind of husband she could take back to Canada. One look at him, and Quebec society would close its doors against her and her sister forever.
She was afraid her will was failing. It had wavered a few times in the past, but reminding herself of what happened when her mother died, when her husband died and left her stranded in the gold fields, renewed her determination that nothing like that would ever happen to her sister. She planned to return to Quebec as a wealthy widow with enough money to see her sister properly married. After that, she would disappear. She didn’t know what she’d do, but she wouldn’t come back to the Arizona Territory.
Hawk wouldn’t be waiting for her.
She’d been staring at his face for the last hour as if that would somehow prolong their time together. She wanted to memorize his face, touch him, caress his cheek, brush her fingertips across his lips, but she knew the slightest movement would cause him to wake up. It was torture to have him so close yet to know he’d always be out of reach. She was a fool to have slept with him in the first place, but she wouldn’t give up this time in his arms despite all the pain she knew it would cause her in the future. This was something she’d done for herself, even though she knew it was unwise. Falling in love with Hawk was a completely unexpected complication.
She’d probably fallen in love with him the day he let her go with him to take care of the horses, but she’d only figured it out tonight as she lay next to him with nothing to do but think about a future without him. The realization seeped into her gradually, like the cold from the ground seeped into her bones during the night, until she felt it with her whole being. It filled her with the warmth of passion and the chill of knowing it was the biggest mistake she’d ever made, but it was impossible to deny that she loved him.
Hawk lay on his side facing her, one arm curled under him and the other resting on his side. His shoulders were so wide, his chest so broad, she felt he was shielding her from the dangers of the night. He slept just as he was when they finished making love. The stars above looked down on the swell of his buttocks, the power of his thighs, the bulge of his muscled calves. In the milky-white light of the moon, his eyebrows looked like inky smudges, his lashes ebony lines, drawn on the pale mahogany of his skin. His wonderful lips that did such incredible things to her body were ever so slightly parted. Unable to stand it any longer, she reached out.
He spoke even before she touched him. “Can’t you sleep?”
Her hand came to rest on the inside of the arm curled under him. “I just wanted to look at you.”
He looked at her through half-open eyelids. “Not much to see.”
He couldn’t have been more wrong. There was so much to see, she didn’t know where to begin. There was a whole universe of undiscovered riches inside him, riches that would remain unexplored once he isolated himself on his ranch. She wanted to tell him that, to make him believe in himself, but she was leaving. Only a woman who meant to stay had a right to do that. “There’s a lot more than you think.”
“Not enough to keep you awake. You’d better get some sleep. Tomorrow could be an important day.”
The most important of her life—the day she walked away from everything she’d ever wanted.
“That’s Benson,” Zeke said to Josie when the outlying buildings of the town came into view. “In a few hours we’ll be rid of the thieves and we can see about finding you a job.”
Not wanting to attract the attention of strangers, he and Hawk had decided to leave the horses outside of town. They’d found a rancher more than willing to accept a gold coin in exchange for holding the mares overnight.
Hawk and Suzette rode in front of the prisoners. Josie followed behind with the wagon, Zeke riding alongside.
Several times during the last two days Zeke had started to ask Hawk to change places with him. It was odd that, now Josie was being nice to him, he felt uncomfortable around her. Considering how much he was attracted to her, his reaction didn’t make sense, but there was no use denying the fact. He’d wracked his brain trying to figure out why he’d told her about having been a slave. He hadn’t talked about that in twenty years. Only Hawk knew all that had happened to him.
And now Josie.
He’d never been tempted to mention his owner or the farmers to any woman before, so why should he go and spill his guts to Josie? He wasn’t feeling sorry for himself. He’d stopped doing that years ago. What had happened was terrible, but it had toughened him up, taught him he could survive anything. It had made it possible for him to live the life he and Hawk had lived for the past twenty years—ranch hand, hired escort, guard for shipments of valuable properties, from women and children to gold and silver. They’d transported prisoners and hunted down criminals, scouted for the army and carried messages through battle lines. He’d worn his accomplishments like a shield, like an accolade, but telling Josie about his past had stripped him of all that, leaving him feeling naked and exposed.
“How long are you and Hawk going to stay in Benson?” Josie asked.
“I’m not sure. It’s less than twenty miles to our ranch.”
“Do you come to town often?”
“No more than we have to. Once we get ahead enough to hire someone to work for us, we probably won’t come in at all.”
That was the whole point of buying a ranch in a part of the country so sparsely settled it was still a Territory. He and Hawk had decided they were tired of putting up with the insults and slights they encountered every time they entered a town. And if Josie got a job in Benson, that would be still another reason to stay away. He hadn’t liked it when Josie couldn’t stand to be around him, and he didn’t like it any better now that he could see sympathy in her eyes every time she looked at him. He didn’t need sympathy, and he didn’t want it. Knowing that was the way she now felt about him angered him. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt diminished by her sympathy.
Up front, Hawk brought his horse to a stop.
“What’s wrong?” Josie asked.
A group of horsemen had ridden out of town and were coming toward them. Zeke had no reason to expect they had any interest in him, the women, or the prisoners, but his instincts kicked in the moment he realized the riders were approaching abreast of each other. That made it impossible for anyone to ride past them without leaving the road.
“Get behind me,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you to get shot.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Are those men coming to meet us?” Suzette asked Hawk.
“Looks like it.” He’d been worried something like this might happen ever since they had to leave Redington without dropping off their prisoners. It would have been very easy for anyone wanting to cause trouble to get here ahead of them and spread whatever story they wanted. If that person had been Harvey Redfield, or anyone sent on his behalf, the situation could get
a little ticklish.
“What are you going to do?”
“See what they have to say.”
They were a motley collection of men, no two appearing to represent the same stratum of Benson society. A badge identified one as the sheriff. Next to him rode the town banker or leading merchant. Dark suit, white shirt, and shoes rather than boots gave him away. The man in the checkered vest and pencil-thin mustache had gambler written all over him. Then there was the cowhand identified by his worn, dusty boots, battered hat, and chaps. But what surprised Hawk was the discovery that the fifth man wasn’t a man at all, but a mannish woman riding astride. It was only a guess, but he supposed she was the daughter of Harvey Redfield who was supposed to be sweet on Gardner. The grin he saw on Gardner’s face seemed to confirm his suspicion. Hawk pulled his mount to a stop. “We’ll wait for them to reach us,” he said to Suzette. He knew Zeke would guard their rear.
“I got word you were bringing me some prisoners,” the sheriff said when his group stopped a few yards away.
“Do you usually come out to meet prisoners?” Hawk asked.
“No, but I’m told you have a very special prisoner.”
“I have four special prisoners. Maybe the most special is the one with the bullet hole in his leg. It’s clear of infection, but he probably needs to see a doctor.”
“What are your prisoners charged with?”
“Trying to steal our horses.”
“Why would they try to steal a few riding horses and a couple of mules? It doesn’t seem worth the risk.”
“They were trying to steal nine blooded mares.”
“How do I know you have any mares if I can’t see them?”
“You can ask either one of these ladies. They were coming south to look for jobs when we met up on the trail.”
The sheriff looked from Suzette to Josie. Hawk could practically see what he was thinking, but there was no law against a man thinking, not even when it was something he shouldn’t. “I suppose you ladies saw the mares?”
“I helped take care of them,” Suzette said.
“What kind of jobs are you ladies looking for?” the sheriff asked.
“My friend and I sing and dance. We were hoping you had a theater in town.”
Gardner had nudged his horse forward until he was abreast of Zeke and Suzette. “I offered them jobs at the Birdcage.”
“You ladies don’t want to work at the Birdcage?” the sheriff asked. “It’s the best theater in the Territory.”
“We weren’t sure he had a theater,” Josie said. “When a man tries to kidnap you, you naturally assume he’s not the truthful kind.”
“I didn’t try to kidnap you,” Gardner said. “I’ve explained that a dozen times.”
“You didn’t believe him?” the sheriff asked Hawk.
“I wasn’t there,” Hawk replied.
“I was,” Zeke said. “He pulled a gun on me when I told him to let her go.”
“I was just defending myself,” Gardner said. “I thought he was going to attack me.”
Hawk knew how this was going to end and didn’t see any point in prolonging the inevitable. “Since you’re here, why don’t we turn the prisoners over to you? We’ve got business to attend to.”
The sheriff looked surprised. Apparently, he’d been prepared to persuade them to hand over the prisoners. “Sure. You coming by to file a written complaint?”
“Why? You already know what they did.”
“How about you?” the sheriff asked Josie.
“I do intend to file a written complaint.” She directed a definitely unfriendly glance at Gardner. “I’ll be by sometime today.”
Handing over the prisoners took only a few minutes. Rather than follow immediately, Hawk decided it might be better to wait a little while before they headed into town.
“Why did they come out to meet us?” Josie asked.
“How did they know we were coming?” Suzette wanted to know.
“The woman was Harvey Redfield’s daughter,” Hawk said.
“What woman?” Josie asked.
“The person on the far right was a woman,” Zeke said.
Hawk smiled. A woman couldn’t come within a hundred feet of Zeke without his sensing it. “Zeke said a man in Redington told him she was sweet on Gardner. I expect she wanted to make sure we didn’t hurt him.” Hawk saw comprehension dawn in the eyes of both women.
“The sheriff is going to let them go, isn’t he?” Josie asked.
“I expect so.”
She looked as angry as Suzette was unemotional. “That’s the way it is in Quebec if you have money and a position in society,” Suzette said.
“We’re a black man and a half-breed traveling with women of dubious reputation,” Zeke said. “You didn’t really think they’d believe us, did you?”
It was clear from Josie’s expression that she had. Then her temper snapped and she let loose with a tirade that covered virtually every sin men had committed since the Garden of Eden. Hawk had to smile at the expansiveness of her vocabulary and the imagination she employed to evoke visual images of some of the punishments she thought particularly suitable for men like the sheriff. Before she ran down, women like Redfield’s daughter came in for their share of attention.
“Both of you knew this, didn’t you?” Josie’s gaze switched from Hawk to Zeke.
“I suspected as much when the man in Redington told me to get out of town quickly,” Zeke said.
“But we couldn’t be sure until we saw the woman and I saw Gardner grin,” Hawk added.
“And I’m supposed to meet him on the street and not claw his eyes out?”
“He expects you not to worry about what you can’t change,” Suzette said.
Picking up on Josie’s agitation, the mules shook their heads up and down, stamped their feet, even attempted to start forward before being abruptly halted.
“Let’s head into town.” Hawk waited for Suzette to fall in beside him. “We need to find a place for you to stay. Then you can begin to look for work.”
“What are you going to do?” Suzette asked.
“We’re leaving,” Hawk said. “You don’t need us anymore.”
Even though only a few feet separated Josie from Zeke as he rode beside the wagon, she fell silent. The muted clip-clop of horses’ hooves over the rough trail and the occasional squeak of a saddle provided a quiet backdrop to her gloomy thoughts. She knew she’d overreacted when Hawk said he expected Gardner to be let off without anything happening to him. It wasn’t fair that a man could do virtually anything he wanted and get away with it just because he had money—or because the woman he’d assaulted worked in theaters and saloons. Getting drunk and staring at women’s legs and breasts didn’t automatically make men morally corrupt. Why should singing and dancing for their entertainment brand her as a woman of no virtue?
She knew she was wasting her energy, but it was impossible for her to accept the inevitable as calmly as Suzette. She had to fret and fume and concoct terrible revenge before she finally ran out of steam, gave a fatalistic sigh, and moved on. That process usually took several days, during which time she was liable to lose her temper for any reason at all.
Though she didn’t like to admit it, she would miss Zeke. It had taken her a while to believe he wasn’t like every other man she’d met, but now that she realized he was someone special, he was going to bury himself on a ranch miles away from anything and anybody. She didn’t know how he could stand it. She’d been dying to get away from their farm almost from the time she realized there was a world beyond the limits of her father’s acres.
It wasn’t that she was entranced by the world of bright lights, rich ranchers, or rowdy men. She simply didn’t want a life filled with the drudgery of cleaning, cooking, taking care of babies, and submitting her will to that of a husband. Though if she were honest with herself, she didn’t really like the life of a singer/dancer. She played to the audience because she knew that was what she had to d
o to make the money necessary to retire before her looks faded and her legs gave out, but she didn’t like it. In a way, she envied Zeke. His might be a boring life filled with hard work and empty nights, but at least he would be living his life the way he wanted, with no pretense and no being treated as an object.
“You’ve been silent for a long time,” Zeke said. He had glanced over at her several times in the last few minutes but hadn’t spoken.
“I thought it was probably better I didn’t say anything until I calmed down.”
Maybe she ought to tell him some of what she’d been thinking, but she couldn’t summon the courage. She’d never trusted a man enough to reveal her true feelings. She knew the revelation would change their relationship, but she didn’t know in what way, and that scared her. She thought of Zeke as a friend, but it didn’t take a genius to know he was looking for much more.
“Did you know Gardner was going to go free?” she asked.
“No, but it didn’t surprise me. I’ve seen it too often.”
“Doesn’t it make you angry?”
“It used to, but I decided my life was too important to squander getting angry about people like Gardner.” His sudden grin surprised her. “It’s easier to outsmart him.”
Josie fell silent. She was too busy trying to absorb the fact that Zeke’s grin had made her stomach flip violently. She’d thought he was physically impressive the first time she saw him. She’d even admitted he was handsome, but never in her life had she felt devastated by a smile. She understood being attracted to a man. She understood liking a man. She even understood being physically attracted to a man she didn’t like, but none of that explained the weird things going on with her stomach. Or the faint dizziness she felt.
It had to be the hot days followed by cool nights, a perfect formula for getting a cold or influenza. Once she got settled in a hotel, she’d make a tea of vervain flavored with honey. She didn’t especially like the bitter taste, but she couldn’t afford to get sick and be unable to work.
Yet she didn’t feel confident she had the answer to why she was feeling so peculiar. She remembered more than one of the women she’d worked with describing how they felt when a particularly handsome cowboy or miner started to show an interest in them. The description of their feelings sounded much too close to what she was feeling right now for her comfort. She wasn’t in love with Zeke, nor was she in any danger of falling in love with him, but she did like him and didn’t want him to disappear from her life.
The Mavericks Page 19