An Honest Ghost

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An Honest Ghost Page 11

by Rick Whitaker


  Every book is: Helen Keller The World I Live In 14

  How deep-seated: Glenway Wescott Continual Lessons 169

  Like an earnest: Kenneth Burke Towards a Better Life 24

  It is up: Charles Guignon On Being Authentic 130

  These are the: Adam Phillips On Balance 236

  They lived und: James Joyce Finnegans Wake 28

  What a difference: Pascal Pensees 168

  I am forever: John Francis Hunter The Gay Insider 78

  Silly seasons: Harold Bloom Anatomy of Influence 13

  Tinkering over sentences: David McConnell Firebrat 3

  Lately, my sexual: Susan Sontag I, etcetera: Stories 45

  Revenge fucking: Michael Herr Kubrick 88

  I felt excellent: Walter Kirn My Hard Bargain 103

  Nonetheless my condition: David Markson Wittgenstein’s

  Mistress 133

  Loners can be: David McConnell Firebrat 3

  It was all: Frederick Seidel Poems 1959-2009 9

  Unending flights: W. G. Sebald After Nature 61

  Other people see: Adam Phillips On Balance 224

  I entered silently: Edmund White Noctures for the King of

  Naples 84

  Then I stood: Daniel Kehlmann Me and Kaminsky 94

  After that it: Graham Greene May We Borrow Your

  Husband 140

  Writers are a: Justin O’Brien Camus 103

  Our ears: Henry James Portrait of a Lady 311

  The better you: D. H. Lawrence Studies in Classic

  American Literature 42

  Yet I could: John Ashbery Flow Chart 178

  I am beginning: Andre Gide The Counterfeiters 205

  I have always: Elizabeth Hardwick Sleepless Nights 11

  And this must: Ludwig Wittgenstein Notebooks 1914-1916 13

  My mother’s femaleness: Elizabeth Hardwick Sleepless Nights 21

  My mother was: Georges Bataille The Blue of Noon 12

  This was her: Dezso Kosztalanyi Skylark 15

  And walking in: Djuna Barnes Nightwood 61

  For nothing could: Lydie Salvayre Company of Ghosts 18

  The dizziness and: E. F. Benson The Freaks of Mayfair 53

  Women baffled me: Andrew Holleran Nights in Aruba 33

  I was born: Wayne Koestenbaum Moira Orfei in Aigues

  Mortes 6

  It was an: Mary McCarthy The Group 292

  It was 1968: Paul Griffiths Modern Music 173

  A sordid sexual: David McConnell Firebrat 81

  From the beginning: Mikis Theodorakis Journal of

  Resistance 29

  It’s something almost: David Wojnarowicz Memories That

  Smell Like Gasoline 47

  Grown-ups tried: Jean-Christophe Valtat 03 69

  I was a: Jean Genet The Declared Enemy 8

  My mother was: Andrew Holleran Nights in Aruba 33

  Days and nights: Thomas Bernhard Prose 121

  After I had: Denton Welch Maiden Voyage 7

  I knew that: George Orwell An Age Like This 1

  I became a: Richard Rodriguez Brown 147

  Land of noble: Walicki A History of Russian Thought 75

  New York City: Hart Crane Libray of America: Complete

  Poems and Selected Letters 306

  New York seemed: James Blake The Joint 309

  Meanwhile, the possibility: Paul Griffiths Modern Music

  150

  Thank you, Proust: Michael Cunningham By Nightfall 17

  I was glad: Denton Welch Maiden Voyage 35

  Then the amazing: E. F. Benson The Freaks of Mayfair 111

  My mother wanted: John Cheever Stories 691

  “My dear,” she: F. Scott Fitzgerald The Great Gatsby 40

  My childhood was: Fran Lebowitz Reader 38

  My mother has: Susan Sontag I, etcetera: Stories 133

  My father went: Teju Cole Open City 188

  Though long dead: Gore Vidal Palimpsest 256

  Insanity, of course: Mark Rowlands The Philosopher and

  the Wolf 18

  We find our: Charles Guignon On Being Authentic 87

  “I didn’t,” said Joe: O. Henry The Four Million 67

  My experience of: John Cage Musicage 60

  Perhaps the least: Fran Lebowitz Reader 88

  Yet any distinction: Harold Bloom Anatomy of Influence 4

  12.

  David woke next: E. F. Benson David Blaize 34

  He changed some: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the Dark 110

  At all events: W. G. Sebald Vertigo 18

  There were so: James Joyce Dubliners 107

  He regarded himself: Kenneth Silverman Begin Again 88

  He had many: Gioia Timpanelli Sometimes the Soul 154

  It was a: James Joyce Dubliners 182

  He tried to: James Joyce Dubliners 39

  For the moment: Richard Ellmann James Joyce 66

  He felt that: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the Dark 19

  He had a: D. H. Lawrence Sons and Lovers 88

  The idea of: Adam Phillips On Balance 224

  I am sure: Ivy Compton-Burnett A Family and a Fortune 25

  Which made it: Daniel Kehlmann Measuring the World 250

  Mind you: Petros Abatzoglou What Does Mrs. Freeman Want? 94

  His wife was: Dezso Kosztalanyi Skylark 79

  But nobody came: Patrick White Vivisector 418

  Obscurely, each thought: Bruce Duffy The World As I Found It 283

  She noticed that: Henry James Portrait of a Lady 248

  At such moments: W. G. Sebald Vertigo 28

  It’s corny: Michael Cunningham By Nightfall 16

  “I suppose I: Blair Niles Strange Brother 221

  The metaphor: Alex Ross Listen to This 16

  I was still: Glen Baxter The Further Blurtings of Glen

  Baxter [no page numbers]

  But one has: Jacques Lacan Four Fundamental Concepts

  133

  There are moments: R.P. Blackmur Studies in Henry James

  197

  It was all: Dezso Kosztalanyi Skylark 84

  Moral: slack beds: Richard Howard Inner Voices 409

  I rubbed his: Edmund White My Lives 239

  The poor man: Thomas Bernhard My Prizes 89

  Still, he has: Mark Merlis American Studies 245

  I didn’t like: Michael Cunningham By Nightfall 22

  I told him: Charles Henri Ford Like Water From a Bucket

  149

  A dreadful silence: E. F. Benson Freaks of Mayfair 123

  13.

  By late September: Ron Padgett Joe 216

  He lived a: Frederick Seidel Poems 1959-2009 195

  But he came: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 17

  To travel without: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will

  Show 85

  One day while: Filip Noterdaeme The Autobiography of

  Daniel J. Isengart 45

  He lay half: Patrick White Vivisector 448

  We’ve been discussing: Susan Sontag Reborn 84

  He slouched down: Gilbert Adair Love and Death on Long

  Island 132

  “When I try: Ronald Firbank Three More Novels 36

  The slight asymmetry: Edmund White Rimbaud 9

  I liked being: Colette Pure and Impure 107

  Those who meet: B. K. S. Iyengar Light on Yoga 45

  “This,” I said: Giacomo Casanova History of My Life 707

  Believe it or: Bruce Duffy The World As I Found It 220

  “Whoa, slow down: Edward St Aubyn At Last 114

  “Do you really: Sylvia Townsend Warner The Corner That

  Held Them 56

  All his life: Ron Padgett Joe 266

  I exaggerate: Anita Brookner Look at Me 18

  He never gave: Robert Walser The Assistant 281

  That would be: Jane Gardam Faith Fox 81

  But in general: Ron Padgett Joe 134

  He waggled a: John Banville The Untouchable 139

  “When one is
: Ludwig Wittgenstein Notebooks 1914-1916

  10

  He was so: Robert Frost The Notebooks of Robert Frost 32

  The sadness of: Sherwood Anderson Winesburg, Ohio 234

  I could not: W. G. Sebald Rings of Saturn 5

  He remembered his: Edna O’Brien James Joyce 12

  In this he: Virginia Woolf Orlando 113

  “Thank you for: D. H. Lawrence Selected Letters 307

  Where did you: Bertolt Brecht Galileo 47

  The book was: John Ashbery April Galleons 5

  Joe had been: Ron Padgett Joe 52

  It is all: D. H. Lawrence Studies in Classic American

  Literature 148

  The price he: John Banville The Untouchable 268

  It seemed to: Glen Baxter Atlas (no page numbers)

  I am a: Alex Ross Listen to This 5

  I felt myself: Anita Brookner Look at Me 87

  That is how: J. M. Coetzee Diary of a Bad Year 91

  Silence, he said: Virginia Woolf Orlando 93

  We take long: James Merrill The Changing Light at

  Sandover 23

  Sunshine, a bird: Roland Barthes Mourning Diary 166

  Forced to make: Stephen Jay Gould Hen’s Teeth 164

  You never stop: Lydie Salvayre The Power of Flies 55

  Apart from that: Jean Echenoz Piano 114

  To all appearances: James Blake The Joint 157

  Or maybe not: Jean Echenoz Piano 87

  It was that: H. G. Wells The Time Machine 27

  The other houses: James Joyce Dubliners 71

  Joe said, “I’m: Peter Cameron Someday This Pain 34

  Then he was: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will Show

  104

  He wanted to: Bruce Duffy The World As I Found It 421

  He believed that: Andrzej Walicki A History of Russian

  Thought 23

  “All you’ve got: Hart Crane Library of America: omplete

  Poems and Selected Letters 334

  In other words: John Cage Musicage 61

  You have to: Karl Ove Knausgaard My Struggle: Book One

  188

  I will not: David Levithan The Full Spectrum 108

  Humility is a: E.M. Forster Aspects of the Novel 117

  Our twentieth century: Robert Thurman Inner Revolution

  37

  The aim of: Harold Bloom Ruin the Sacred Truths 178

  One last point: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 20

  The future has: Diane Williams It Was Like My Trying to

  Have a Tender-Hearted Nature 91

  Everyone today will: W. H. Auden Forewords and Afterwords 279

  What a strange: David Leavitt The Indian Clerk 141

  He dismissed bourgeois: Andrzej Walicki History of

  Russian Thought 80

  Among the strongest: Edward Mendelson Later Auden 314

  Everywhere, between the: Ronald Firbank Three More

  Novels 46

  “The main thing: Ken Kesey Sometimes a Great Notion 177

  I was stirred: Benjamin Sonnenberg Lost Property 135

  Fortunately, I am: Anita Brookner Look at Me 36

  “Well, yeah: Umberto Eco Mysterious Flame 348

  “You know what: John Daido Loori 8 Gates of Zen 59

  If you care: David Thomson Have You Seen…? 25

  “I don’t,” said: Charles Dickens Barnaby Rudge 10

  “Who’s your favorite: Alice Munro The Progress of Love 55

  “Karl Ove Knausgaard: Karl Ove Knausgaard My Struggle:

  Book Two 496

  Towards dark: Patrick White The Vivisector 448

  I had been: Anita Brookner Look at Me 73

  I of all: Umberto Eco Mysterious Flame 167

  Loveless, landless: James Joyce Ulysses 43

  Since this sensation: Geoff Dyer Out of Sheer Rage:

  Wrestling with D. H. Lawrence 51

  I Google it: Ellen Sussman Dirty Words 77

  How quickly the: Louisa Perillo I’ve Heard the Vultures

  Singing 13

  I found myself: H. G. Wells The Time Machine 56

  All I could: W. G. Sebald Rings of Saturn 5

  That’s the ego: John Daido Loori 8 Gates of Zen 59

  Convinced life is: Frederick Seidel Poems 1959-2009 493

  14.

  An ambulance hurries: David Thomson Have You Seen…?

  33

  The crimes sparkle: Frederick Seidel Area Code 212 55

  If only I: Susan Sontag I, etcetera: Stories 122

  My intentions are: Max Ewing Going Somewhere 90

  So much for: Sarah Bakewell How to Live 47

  In this sense: James Wood The Broken Estate 256

  “I’ll teach you: Sam Massey Return of the Greek 119

  That’s a pledge: Max Ewing Going Somewhere 98

  David laughed gleefully: Eleanor Porter Just David 94

  He would love: James Joyce Dubliners 119

  Such as…: Noel Coward Pomp and Circumstance 235

  That indeed is: Harold Bloom Hamlet: Poem Unlimited 35

  “There is happiness: Bertolt Brecht Galileo 42

  Tilting his head: J. D. Salinger Nine Stories 47

  “Please, do not: Alfred Chester Jamie Is My Heart’s Desire

  258

  We all live: Ivy Compton-Burnett A Family and a Fortune

  26

  Do you know: Andre Tellier Twilight Men 31

  “Nothing is got: Harold Bloom Ruin the Sacred Truths 201

  The writer does: Roland Barthes Critical Essays xii

  Thus every writer’s: Roland Barthes Reader 405

  I’d far rather: E. M. Forster A Passage to India 130

  After all, it: Richard Rodriguez Brown 40

  I was a: Charles Kaiser The Gay Metropolis 85

  Punish me: James Joyce Ulysses 83

  “You are quite: Thomas Hardy Jude the Obscure 152

  “Things can always: Stephen Benatar Wish Her Safe at

  Home 7

  “Ah”: John Fowles The Magus 17

  Longing for sweeter: John Daido Loori 8 Gates of Zen 62

  “I don’t care: E. M. Forster A Passage to India 130

  Very ingenious: George Orwell An Age Like This 20

  And since, on: Lydie Salvayre Portrait of the Artist as a

  Domesticated Animal 70

  A moment later: Evan S. Connell Mrs. Bridge 123

  When I was: Robert Bolaño By Night in Chile 127

  There was no: Glen Baxter Returns to Normal (no page

  numbers)

  It was fascinating: Jean Echenoz I’m Gone 13

  I work better: Gioia Timpanelli Sometimes the Soul 36

  I forbade myself: Thomas Bernhard My Prizes 72

  Leafing through a: Philip Roth Professor of Desire 201

  15.

  Eleanor “sprang from: Alison Weir Eleanor of Acquitaine:

  A Life 7

  “If you want: Paula Fox Poor George 102

  “I’m always kind: Henry James Portrait of a Lady 490

  No one’s supposed: Gore Vidal Palimpsest 129

  I found it: Thomas Bernhard My Prizes 73

  As a child: Gertrude Stein Selections ed., Retallack 17

  Once she thought: AA Bronson Lana 151

  At this point: E. F. Benson The Freaks of Mayfair 117

  Flowering puberty: Aidan Higgins Scenes from a Receding

  Past 81

  A great deal: David Lodge Consciousness and the Novel 91

  There were stormy: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the

  Dark 192

  And then, who: Jean Echenoz Piano 174

  The struggle, if: Nathaniel Hawthorne The Scarlet Letter

  177

  Traits that we: Stephen Benatar Wish Her Safe at Home vi

  She was under: Roland Barthes S/Z 229

  Little is known: Polly Brooks Queen Eleanor 11

  Eleanor took no: Ivy Compton-Burnett Parents and

  Children 164

 
“To wrestle with: William James Talks to Teachers 133

  The paradox is: David Lodge Consciousness and the Novel

  121

  She stood in: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the Dark 42

  Beside her was: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will

  Show 95

  He smiled wistfully: Ralph Sassone The Intimates 160

  Eleanor loved the: Polly Brooks Queen Eleanor 12

  Everything lay beneath: Robert Walser The Assistant 230

  On such productive: Tony Judt Memory Chalet 9

  16.

  I am sitting: Hans Keilson Death of the Adversary 37

  Scared of the: Guy Hocquenghem Screwball Asses 38

  Better take two: Michael Cunningham By Nightfall 5

  The object in: Wayne Koestenbaum Moira Orfei in Aigues

  Mortes 14

  Novels seem like: Amanda Michalapoulo I’d Like 41

  The novel is: Don Paterson Rain 4

  The worse your: Adam Phillips On Balance 33

  Originality is therefore: Roland Barthes Critical Essays xii

  Miracles happen every: H. Jackson Brown Life’s Little

  Instruction Book 43

  Each is in: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 14

  Introspection, however, is: Ronald Firbank Three More

  Novels 55

  Depression comes when: Roland Barthes Mourning Diary

  62

  17.

  David gave a: E. F. Benson David Blaize 46

  “But where are: Jane Austen Northanger Abbey 161

  At first, he: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 26

  Suddenly their eyes: D. H. Lawrence Sons and Lovers 136

  Now that this: Henry James The Europeans 48

  Please, David, she: Rob Stephenson Passes Through 30

  We only want: Philip Roth Professor of Desire 192

  Now he’s really: David Thomson Have You Seen…? 37

  The deeper you: David Lodge Consciousness and the

  Novel 109

  I was in: Victoria Redel Loverboy 21

  I will not: James Joyce Dubliners 86

  I remain a: Alfred Chester Looking for Genet 173

  I returned to: J. M. Barrie The White Bird 98

  “Oh, don’t be: E. F. Benson David Blaize 45

  For now was: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will Show

  90

  As soon as: Gustave Flaubert Sentimental Education 69

  The sense of: Graham Greene The Heart of the Matter 225

  But instead of: Jean Genet Querelle 181

  His life has: Søren Kierkegaard Diary of a Seducer 11

  Poor, ridiculous young: Gilbert Highet Poets in a

  Landscape 25

  “He has a: Aidan Higgins Scenes from a Receding Past 127

  And David did: J. M. Barrie The White Bird 9

 

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