by Neliza Drew
“Keep up appearances,” I said.
He nodded. “Small town. Illusion is fact even if every gossip knows the truth. Consumers get picky at the store, but they’ll eat it in restaurants and not think twice about where it came from.”
“Anyone quit?”
“Just one.”
“And?” I waited.
“He died. House fire later that month.”
“Arson?” I asked.
He looked aghast as best he could. “Fire department didn’t think so.”
“The local volunteer fire department?”
“Fine. So I may have paid off a few guys over the investigation. It’s not like I killed the guy.”
“But you figured Vince did.”
“We weren’t supposed to be bringing in drugs anymore. That was the deal. I didn’t know he was still doing it until then. It could have jeopardized everything I’d worked for. It could have sent us to prison. And for what? The seafood fraud was bad enough, but it was profitable.”
“You know why,” I said.
He hung his head.
I remembered something Sally had said — her son had been a proponent of local seafood. “Did Billy find out?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t kill him, if that’s what you’re suggesting. I thought Lane did.”
Nik lifted her head. “If Lane worked for Vince, would she kill someone because he asked her to?”
Eric shrugged. “Vince is the best kind of drug. And the worst.”
I thought about drugs and why people did them. “What happened to Lane?”
Eric mashed his lips together.
“You don’t get to plead the fifth on Charley’s couch.” I put the gun barrel on his forehead. “Talk.”
Nik sucked in oxygen, but didn’t tell me to stop.
“I don’t know. Not for sure.”
I pushed against his head with the gun. “Lane.”
He held up his hands. “Okay. Vince fucked her. I only know because he told me about it. Proud of himself. Told me all the kinky shit she was willing to do for him, like I wasn’t good enough for him. Hell, that’s—”
“Did he rape her?”
His eyes widened and his mouth worked silently.
I grabbed his throat and bounced the back of his head against the drywall, shoved the gun barrel into his eye socket.
Nik screamed.
“Did he?”
He gagged, sputtered, croaked out a no.
I loosened my grip slightly.
“I don’t think so.” He coughed, swallowed with a wince. “He acted like she wanted it, wanted him. Around that time is when he killed Charley’s boyfriend.”
“When?”
He shook his head.
I pushed against the gun, could feel his eye’s resistance.
“Davis!” Nik yelled, her voice on the verge of anguish.
“Two years ago! Maybe less. Look, she was already messed up when she got to him. Girls like her, they don’t find a guy like Vince by accident. They find him because they’re running from something. Because they want something to dull the pain.”
I grabbed his greasy hair and yanked his head backward, shoved the gun barrel up under his chin. “What happened to her?”
He shook his head as best he could. Tears leaked out of his shut eyes.
Nik sobbed beside me. “Davis! Please! Stop.”
I took a deep breath and stepped back, lowered the Beretta.
He shook his head, eyes still closed. “I don’t know.”
I handed Nik the .22 from my purse and headed for the door.
“Where the hell are you going?”
“You can’t leave me here.” Eric jumped up.
Nik swung the .22 and caught him on the chin with it.
He lost his balance and sat heavily.
In the car, Nik looked at me. “You’re an asshole.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“That’s no way to get information.”
“I know.”
“I’m not leaving.” She stated it simply. Like it was fact.
“Nik, these people are dangerous.”
“Which is why I’m staying. Someone’s going to have to identify you at the morgue. Someone’s going to have to keep Charley clean. Someone’s going to have to talk to Lane’s attorney.”
“It all fell apart.”
“We’ve been unraveling a long time. What are you going to do?
“Nik, if shit goes down, promise me. You do you. Let me do me.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“Let me take the hits. Let me take the bullets. Just pick up the pieces and run.”
“And if there’s nothing left?”
“Lane’s going to prison. Charley’s going to end up with a hot shot or the sharp end of a blade. I’m tired of trying to stop her. I’m tired.”
“And if he kills you?”
“You really want to count up all the times I should’ve died before now? Because I lost count, Nik.” I handed her the Beretta. “I’m done with this.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket as I got to the end of the street. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. Lawson. I looked at her and answered.
“You’ve lost it,” Nik whispered.
“I don’t know how to say this.” But he did. “Lane attempted suicide. She’s being treated at Carteret General.”
“What?”
His voice said he thought this was as routine as a continuance and just as benign. “Tried to choke herself with a sweatshirt. She’s being treated. They’ll probably get her some anti-depressants. This sort of thing is fairly common in the jails. It’ll be okay.”
“No, it won’t.” I hung up.
Nik watched me. Her expression was already etched with worry and fear. I turned onto the highway and made it worse by telling her what Lawson had said.
When I looked at her again, her eyes held a steady resolve I hadn’t seen in years. We were all just moments from the people we’d learned to be as children. And Nik and I had learned to be survivors in more ways than one.
Outside, the wind was picking up, the sky ominous above the tree line. Storm smells hung in the air. This would be no summer shower. No cleansing rain to relieve plants and people of the heat. What was coming would be cold and punishing.
Chapter fifty-three
We were halfway to the hospital and the sky hung heavy with big, fat, angry puffs of gray that matched my mood and threatened to put another layer of water between my eyes and the road.
At the light, when I could see the brick structure off to my left, my phone rang again. I answered without looking.
“Davis? You okay?” Craig.
“Yes. No.” I stared at the light, willing it to change.
“I haven’t heard from you since… Look, I know I’m not supposed to be worried, but are you okay?”
The light finally changed and I made the turn. “No. Just no.”
“Davis, what’s going on?”
I told him. I told him everything. A lump formed in my throat. The light changed and I willed myself around the corner. “I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”
“I have an emergency call over in Beaufort. Heater’s busted and it looks like a storm. Call me, though. Anytime.”
I parked and dialed Lawson. “I need to get in to talk to her.”
“She’s still technically in custody. She’s still—”
“Yeah, I didn’t ask for your legal opinion. I need to talk to her. You need me to talk to her. Figure out how to make it happen. Otherwise you’re going to be defending me too after I steal scrubs and an ID.”
He sighed into the phone. “Dick said you were a bitchy pain in the ass.”
“I know. Those are my good qualities.”
“I’ll meet you at the hospital.”
Nik didn’t question me when I left her in the lobby. She always knew when not to.
I hung out near the entrance long enough to inhale a lot of secondhand sm
oke and collect a few names of patients. The one that seemed most likely, an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s and few kids, I used to get in as a visitor. Once in, I roamed corridors until I stumbled upon a wing and a floor that seemed promising and started looking for a room with officers posted outside.
Lawson called from downstairs while I was slathering makeup over my recent bruises and unbuttoning my shirt so my bra showed. “You’re my assistant. You need to act like an assistant. Can you do that?”
“Yes sir, Mr. Lawson,” I said in my best fifties cartoon secretary voice.
He gave me the room number and told me he’d wait for me by the elevator on that floor. He sounded like he was fighting the urge to drink.
I met him at the elevator, hair fluffed, chest puffed. “How do you do, Mr. Lawson?” I smiled a smile I didn’t feel and held out my hand.
He was dressed in jeans and a surf tee shirt under a navy blazer. He didn’t look happy. “You drive Dick nuts, don’t you?”
I pulled out the gift shop legal pad and reading glasses out of my purse and winked.
He led the way down the hall. “I know you tried, but you still look like crap.”
• • • • •
Lane was handcuffed to the bed. She a black eye, and dark bruises around her neck that looked hand-shaped.
Lawson made nice with the deputy, explained the whole attorney-client confidentiality stuff with his generous smile and handshake and a healthy dose of lawyer slime. I overheard something about drafting and competency and hearings. I wasn’t really paying attention because I was watching Lane’s face as she sorted through the new development.
Lawson shut the door and walked over, mouth open ready to speak.
I cut him off and turned on Lane. “What happened?”
She looked from Lawson to me and glared.
“He’s your attorney, Lane. You need to start talking. Soon would be good. Those bruises don’t look self-inflicted.”
“I hate you.” She curled her lips. Perfect imitation of a teenager. Wouldn’t help her in adult court. Assuming she made it that far.
I crossed the room and got in her face. “Yeah, you hate me, Charley hates me. I should be dead. I got it. It’s not going to stop me from trying to help you. Talk.”
She swallowed, winced like it hurt. “I’m pregnant.”
I sat on the edge of the bed. “Whose?”
She picked at the blanket. The handcuffs rattled against the plastic bed. “It wasn’t my fault. You don’t have to believe me, but it wasn’t.”
I looked over into her eyes. “Let me make a guess here. Hear me out. One of Charley’s boyfriends or johns or stray drug dealers molested you. Maybe not the one I scared off with a knife. Maybe not even the next one to come around. Maybe he touched you. Maybe he raped you. Either way, it was wrong. Either way, how you felt was how you felt. But you couldn’t tell anyone. Couldn’t tell Charley. She’d throw you out and tell people you were dead like she did me. Couldn’t tell Nik because she lived too far away. Couldn’t tell the school because you’d end up in foster care and we’d instilled a lifelong fear of foster care.”
Her eyes looked to Lawson, narrowed at me. “What the fuck do you know?”
“A lot. Especially about this. More than I should. More than either of us should. Some other time, I’ll give you the whole speech about how it’s not your fault and how blah blah blah. The bottom line is, I’ve been there.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know shit. You weren’t there. You left.”
I pulled aside the top of my shirt, showed her the long white scar running away from my collarbone. “The guy who did this didn’t touch me. Some other guys did. The scars on the outside don’t always match the hurt on the inside.”
She sniffed at the window, still not buying it.
“So, you did something to try to make the hurt go away. Based on your friends’ hobbies, I’m going to guess drugs. Very traditional. You guys probably didn’t talk about all your whys. Talking makes it too real.”
“Fuck you.”
“Along came promiscuity. Had to prove to yourself you were over it, didn’t care.”
She swallowed again and winced.
I took a deep breath. “Except, it didn’t go away. Except, you didn’t really feel any more in control. Except someone misunderstood your intentions, took things too far. You lost control again. And then you felt worse than ever.”
Her eyes glared, but her jaw was trying not to cry. “Fuck you.”
“You felt worse because you thought this time you were to blame. You played with proverbial fire, right? No one would sympathize when you burnt yourself. So you put a cork on the pain. But your anger? It didn’t die and it didn’t like being bottled up and you weren’t just angry at him, but yourself. So you got more self-destructive. Did things you knew you shouldn’t, terrible things to hurt others because you didn’t want to feel alone with all that pain.”
“Shut up!” She squeezed her eyes shut and I could see the colors of the shiner spread out, layered atop one another. “Just shut up.” Her chest shuddered with sobs.
I looked at Lawson and let my own tears go, felt them tumble down my face, bounce off my cheeks, leaving streaks in the makeup.
He started to speak. I shook my head.
I put a hand on hers, waited for her to jerk away, but she didn’t.
“I didn’t do it. I didn’t mean to do it.” She sucked up snot and let a breathy sob. “He was my best friend.” Her face crumbled and she sagged against the bed.
“What happened, Lane?”
She shook her head. “I’m gonna go to jail. For like ever. And Billy’s dead and Amber’s probably already dead. And it’s all your fault.”
“I know,” I said.
“I made those girls. I was in charge.” She pointed at her chest with her free hand and I noticed the tattoo again. Orange and black with claws. “I thought I could handle it all.”
“You belonged to Vince.” I’d known girls who’d been converted to property. They were often tattooed with a name or symbol, branded like cattle.
“He took care of us. Which is more than I can say for you or Charley.”
“Only as long as you did what he said.”
Her face fought with the tears. “How do you know? How did you know?”
“Because I’ve gotten into fights I knew I couldn’t win just so there’d be a reason my guts ached. Because I’ve been locked up with girls who thought they knew what they were doing. Because I always thought I did.”
She mashed her lips together. They were cracked and tear-stained. “Charley went nuts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was all because of you. But then she really lost it.”
“You needed a new home. You needed to feel wanted.”
Lawson grabbed the legal pad from my lap and started scribbling. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but I had a feeling the shitstorm was growing.
“He wanted us to kill Billy. I didn’t want to, but you don’t go against Vince. He said Billy was going to betray us. Amber had miscarried, blamed Billy. She stabbed him. He grabbed the gun. It went off.” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“What happened to Melissa Armstrong?”
Lane opened her eyes and snarled. “That girl with the purses? She didn’t want to work. Thought she was too good. Said she was going home. Vince said that wasn’t an option. Told us to get her out to sea and let Brad take care of her.”
“That didn’t ever seem like a bad idea?”
“She got in over her head. You don’t tell Vince no. Shit happens.” She shrugged and the handcuffs rattled.
Lawson looked up from his paper, trying to keep the look of horror off his face and doing a bad job.
I wanted to be horrified. I wanted to stare, mouth gaping, but I couldn’t. My own moral ground was shaky at best. “Why didn’t you call me? Before all this?”
“Charley said you hated us, that you left because y
ou couldn’t stand to look at us. You never called or visited.” She shrugged again. “I lived at Amber’s for a while. Sylvia’s. Ricky used to hook Charley up with dope. Vince had better stuff. It just came with a price tag.”
“Always does.”
“Don’t look so sanctimonious. I know all about the shit you’ve done.”
“From Charley? Or from Vince?”
Her look said both.
“I’ve done stuff much worse than anything they’ve said, but they don’t know anything about it.” I thought about the things she’d done. “Why’d Billy load the gun?”
She sniffed. “He and I used to go shoot it in the woods sometimes. For kicks, you know.”
“How’d Amber get out of there?” Lawson asked.
“I don’t know. Her cousin showed up. Knocked me out.”
“Murphy?”
She made a face like she’d eaten a turd. “Yeah.”
Lawson let out a low whistle and looked at me. “Think we should angle for a plea?”
I had no idea. I handed him Tom’s contact info. “If anything happens to me, get what you need from him.”
He looked at the business card. “I’m gonna kill Dick.”
Chapter fifty-four
In the lobby, I checked my phone to find a message waiting. Craig.
“It’s weird. There’s no one answering at this house I was supposed to be at. Guess I’ll head over to the hospital and meet up with you. Maybe talk you into some food at the cafeteria. They make a mean mac and cheese.”
I looked at Nik. “She’s alive. Go meet Lawson. See if you can talk to her.” I gritted my teeth, not sure how much to tell her yet. “Look, Lane’s done some shit she really shouldn’t have. You gotta forgive her.”
“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”
“Not yet. Call Tom if you need to.” I rattled off his number. “Don’t go anywhere else. Seriously. I’ll see you later.”
“Where are you going?”
“I gotta make a phone call.”
She gave me a face that said the phone worked fine there.
“And I gotta think.”
She tilted her head like she knew what that meant. “Stay safe.”
I called Craig from the parking lot. He didn’t answer. I put the rental in gear and headed east.