by Lena Skye
“A wrench in what plans?” Jasmine asked.
“Marriage,” I responded.
“He hasn’t proposed yet, so technically there aren’t any plans,” Patrice said realistically.
I sat back against the chair and pouted. They were right, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted them to defend my relationship and to tell me to wait. But they were my friends, and they weren’t going to take it easy on me.
“I know he hasn’t, but we know that it’s only a matter of time,” responded.
“Yeah, but how much time?” Jasmine said, “This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I don’t think that you should pass on it.”
“Yeah, what are the specs anyway?” Patrice asked.
“Mid six figures, chauffeur, company car, and condo,” I said.
“If you don’t go, I’m going to get plastic surgery and pretend like I’m you,” Patrice exclaimed,
“This is so far beyond what you’ve ever saw for yourself and it’s dropped into your lap. Do you think that he would pass on an opportunity like this? This is your career that we’re talking about.”
“You’ve gotta chase your dreams instead of waiting on him to get his act together,” Jasmine said,
“I love Kenneth, I really do but come on girl.”
“I just feel bad because he’s still struggling to get over the humiliation of his last wedding. I can see how that would put him off of the idea of forever right now,” I said. “We’ve been waiting so long to get back together and I don’t want to be the one to mess it up.”
“He isn’t tied to an office, he can move,” Patrice said with conviction.
“That’s a lot to ask of someone, and his brother just moved here,” I argued.
Patrice dramatically swung her head to Jasmine, causing her curls to cascade over her shoulders.
“Can you please talk some sense into this girl because she’s not listening.”
“Girl, love will make you do some crazy things,” Jasmine said to Patrice.
“Crazy is one thing, being a damned psycho is another,” Patrice responded.
“Ummm hello, I am sitting here with the both of you. Can you please talk to me about me,” I said in annoyance.
I didn’t understand why I was getting so upset because I wanted the truth from them, and it’s exactly what they were giving me. I didn’t like the idea of leaving Kenneth behind in Atlanta while I chased my dreams, but it was too good of an offer to pass up. Once I took that job, my life would never be the same. I would be catapulted into the world that I’ve been on the fringes of. I would still have to work hard, but my name would speak for itself.
“Well you’re talking crazy,” Patrice responded before she bit into her asparagus, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”
“First, I’m going to need you to stop talking while your mouth has food in it, and secondly, I’m not talking crazy. I really want to be with Kenneth, and I don’t want to have to choose between him and my career,” I said.
“You know what needs to happen? He needs to talk to Michael, I’m sure he can make his brother get with the program. He can get him to go with you, or set a wedding date. He respects his opinion more than anyone else’s,” Jasmine suggested.
“Now that is a great idea,” I said.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of that idea sooner. Michael was our number one champion and he always gave Kenneth his unwarranted advice. I felt a lot better about everything because Michael would fix it, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
“I know it is, I came up with it,” Jasmine said.
“Whatever, we’re going to have to shut up because I’m about to get with this food.”
*
The next morning I met Michael for breakfast, time was of the essence, and I couldn’t afford to wait. He’d responded to my text the night before pretty quickly and penciled me in for the morning. I loved having him around, and he made me wish that I wasn’t an only child. He always came through, even when it was inconvenient for him. That was another reason that I wanted to marry Kenneth, it would be an honor to have Michael as my brother.
“It’s always a joy to see you Nikki,” Michael said when I met him at the table.
“Thank you so much for meeting me on such short notice. I wouldn’t have asked you here this morning if it wasn’t an emergency. This is a really time sensitive issue,” I explained.
“No worries, I’m all ears,” he said before he guzzled his coffee.
“Long night?” I asked.
“Well being a bachelor does have its’ perks,” he grinned, “But I’m paying for them this morning. I have to remember that I’m an old man now.”
“Oh please, age is just a frame of mind, and you’re not old,” I said.
“Okay, so tell me why you’re buttering me up,” he asked.
I explained the job offer to him and that I had less than 48 hours to give them my answer. I also expressed my concerns about Kenneth.
“I can see why you’re having a dilemma,” he said.
“Yeah, but if I knew that Kenneth was serious about marrying me then I would stay here. My business is doing pretty good, and another opportunity will come in the future,” I said hopefully.
“It’s hard to say when another opportunity like that one will come,” he said honestly, “The Amanda thing hit him pretty hard and he’s kind of scared of going through with the engagement thing again. But I’m sure that he won’t want to lose you either.”
“Why do things have to be this hard?” I asked.
“That’s life darling, but I’m going to talk to some sense into him.”
“I would really appreciate that,” I said, “Because I’m really stumped on this one. Everything is happening so fast.”
“I know that this is a huge decision for you, but I’m encouraging you not to stress out. Stress won’t help anything, and everything happens for a reason,” he said.
I rolled my eyes at the platitudes.
“I know it’s not what you want to hear,” he laughed, “But that doesn’t stop it from being true.”
I left our breakfast meeting not feeling much better than I had before it started. Kenneth was his own person and ultimately he would have the final say. I couldn’t rush or bully him into making such a life altering decision.
Pretty much everything now relied on what he had to tell me when we met up...
#Chapter12
“If we want it bad enough, it will work out,”
Kenneth
That evening, Kenneth came over to my place so that we could talk. We both were avoiding it like the plague but it was time for us to come to terms with what was going on. I was nervous to tell him that I got the position, but it was necessary.
We sat on my couch in silence because neither of us knew where to begin. Kenneth broke the ice,
“So I heard about the job offer.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry that you didn’t hear it from me first,” I said, “I was too nervous to tell you.”
“You didn’t have to be afraid. I understand what it means, but I want you to take it,” he said firmly.
My heart dropped because I didn’t expect him to give in so easily. We were worth fighting for, and it seemed like he was giving up. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook because I wanted us to work.
“I won’t have to take it if we set a date for the wedding,” I insisted.
Kenneth shook his head, “No, this is your dream, and I don’t want to keep you from it. You think that you want to do that, but you’ll regret it years down the road. I don’t want you to give up your dream for me. This has been your ambition from the moment that I met you.”
“But you’re my dream too, and I don’t want to have one without the other,” I said.
“I’m not going anywhere. But I don’t want you to stay no matter how much I love you; you have to take this opportunity. It’s been your destiny to live that kind of life. You’re an adult playing i
n the child sandbox. It’s time for you to take your career to the next level. I would come with you, but I have to support my brother in the new business that we’re starting. This is horrible timing, but I know that we can make it work,” he said.
“How in the world are we going to make something like that work?” I asked.
“I promise that I’ll come to visit as often as I can,” he said.
“Who knows how often that will be? I will be running around like a mad woman, and you’re starting a new business,” I said.
“If we want it bad enough, it will work out,” he said.
I shook my head because I knew that it most likely wouldn’t work. Long distance relationships rarely worked anyway, and we were going to be way too busy. “There is no way that you’re going to stay faithful knowing that I’m thousands of miles away,” I half joked.
“Don’t say things like that because I don’t find it amusing at all. I would never cheat on you, you mean the world to me,” he said as he pulled me close and tucked me under his arm.
“Sorry, it’s just all driving me so crazy,” I apologized, “But it’s like you’re giving up on us.”
“I will never give up on us. The only reason that I want you to go and fulfill your dreams is because I love you so much. This has to be one of the most unselfish things that I’ve done in my entire life,” he said.
The tears that I’d been fighting began to make an appearance. I was so frustrated with everything and I was in between a rock and a hard place. Finally everything was going well with Kenneth and there was another twist of fate to break us up. I spent so much time worrying about tragedy and drama breaking us up that I never considered the opposite. The world had a funny way of doing things.
“I love you too,” I whispered between a sniffle.
We didn’t exchange anymore words. He cut the television on, and we fell asleep moments later. He felt great against my body, and I hated that I was about to be without his presence again in a little over a week. This time it might really be forever.
***
Nicole was asleep in my arms, but I couldn’t sleep at all.
I could only think about how my plans had been completely blown to smithereens. It had all blown up in my face. I wanted to make Nicole think that I was unsure about proposing so that it would be more of a surprise when I finally did it. This talk of Amanda and then giving Nicole the expensive bracelet was all done to throw her off guard. I wanted to wait till her birthday, and it was going to be perfect. I would send her on a treasure hunt from boutique to boutique. All of the owners were on board and they each already had the gifts, notes, and clue to the next place. They were so excited because they loved her, and they were elated to be a part of the plan.
That was the only reason that I lied and said that I wasn’t ready for marriage just yet. I didn’t have any reservations about marrying her and making her my wife. But her career was much more important, and we would have to wait. Our plans could wait because we were meant to be together.
Getting married soon was no longer a possibility for us. She was offered her dream job, and there was no way that I could deprive her of living her dream. If I proposed she would stay and she would probably never get another chance to do it again. I know that she wants to think that another opportunity like that one would happen, but fashion is a cruel business. She finally had an “in” and she needed to take it. So I had no choice but to continue with my lie even though it was tearing me up inside.
I felt terrible about letting her go, but I had to put my own feelings aside, and do what was best for her. She would thank me in the long run, especially after she was there for a few months. I wanted to go with her, but I also couldn’t leave my brother. He was counting on me to take care of things, and I had to keep my word. Also, the thought of doing business in a completely different market made me nervous.
I envied Nicole for her sense of adventure. She was about to move to a whole new country with no family, and only one acquaintance. You can’t hold a person back that’s destined for greatness. She was going to be famous and take Paris by storm; I had no doubts about that. She was going to do amazing things, and any person that would stand in the way of that didn’t love her. I loved her more than anything and that is why I had to continue with my lie and let her go. She deserves this and I was not going to let her turn it down.
*
The next morning, Kenneth left early to meet with his brother to discuss business and it was time for me to take the plunge into my future. I was scared shitless because it was unchartered territory for me. I felt safe in Atlanta, and I knew that I was one of the best buyers in the city. Hell, I didn’t really have any competition. Was I really prepared to work for someone else and answer to their demands? This job change was drastic, and I hadn’t had a boss since I interned. My ultimate goal was to work for a huge company, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon and to be on a massive scale.
I had to tell myself to shut up because I was psyching myself out. I looked through my portfolio as I twirled my phone in my hands. I tried to see it through the same lens that Reuben and Raphael saw it with. I’d become so jaded to my own work that I couldn’t tell if I was really any good. It sucks to be a creative person because you never really feel good enough. You are your own competition, and your own worst critic. I could be downright brutal with myself, and it was something that I would have to work on. I was talented, and other people saw it, I had to get that through my head.
I slammed the book closed and called Reuben before I wussed out.
“Hello doll,” he said as soon as he picked.
“Hey babe, I was calling to let you know where I stood on the job offer,” I said.
“Yessss,” he said expectantly.
“I’ve decided that it is exactly where I need and want to be, I’d be delighted to work with your fashion house,” I said.
“Oh Nicole, That’s awesome,” he said, I could hear his smile through the phone. “You’re making the right decision, your life is about to change.”
“That’s what I counting on. So where do we go from here?” I asked.
“Well your email is going to be flooded with emails within the next couple of hours with details, paperwork, and information. Please carefully look it all over and fax the forms that you need to return as soon as possible,” he said.
“Okay, great. I’ll keep a lookout for it and get it back to you today.”
“Bye darling, and welcome to the team.”
I hung up and tried to steady my breathing. I only had 2 meetings for the day, and I was going to have to call and push them back. There was no way that I could work while I was so anxious. My head wasn’t going to be involved in anything that I was doing. I also needed to come up with an exit strategy with my business and quick. I didn’t want to leave my clients hanging, and I wasn’t ready to turn over my clientele to the new people that I’d hired.
Within the next couple of hours, my email was full of exactly what Reuben said to look out for. I kept looking at my plane tickets, and it became a reality. I was moving to Paris in a week, and my condo would be full of movers in the next couple of days. I didn’t want to say goodbye to my friends, and I definitely didn’t want to say goodbye to my man.
#Chapter13
“If you can deal with these crazy bitches in Atlanta, then you can deal with those European bitches even easier.”
Patrice
The next week was full of dealing with my business, coordinating with movers, filling out paperwork and etc. I had settled on the decision to not shut my business down. I hired 2 more contracted buyers beneath me, and promoted one of them to manage everything. My clients would still pay me and my employees would get a check every month for their services. My name was a brand, and it wasn’t hard to find people to jump at the opportunity to work for my company.
That decision also raised my stock in Raphael’s eyes. He loved having a buyer that owned a company on board. I went by and
saw each one of my clients, said my goodbyes and introduced them to who they would be working with. I had to guarantee that the quality of service would still be the same as well. What’s funny is that I picked up 2 more clients during that time, they wanted my company to be their buyer simply because I was working in Paris.
Sitting in my empty apartment was a surreal experience, the movers had collected all of my stuff and I was flying out that day. My girls were over, and we were in the middle of my floor drinking wine. I needed it to calm my nerves, and Kenneth was going to arrive in less than a half hour to take me to the airport. Like Michael Jackson once said, This is it!
“I can’t believe this is really happening,” I said before I drained my glass.