by J. Dorothy
”Here. I was going to give it back to you.” He hands it to me, but I don't take it, so he places it in my lap. “I know I have a lot of explaining to do, Jen. And I intend to do that when we're...”
He flicks his gaze to Bailey, and she shifts on her seat, but I don't want her to go anywhere, so I grab hold of her hand.
” ... Alone,” he finally finishes.
I don't want to be alone with him. I don't care for his explanation right now, I'm too hopping mad.
Bailey clears her throat and squeezes my hand. “I think we should show him Jen. I mean what else are we going to do?”
She has a point. And I guess I could call Travis on it, and get him to show me more evidence, but he really has no reason to make up a whopper of a story like that, and he seems pretty confident about it all.
”Fine,” I bite out, and pluck the envelope from behind the cushion where I hid it, and throw it at him.
Travis arches a brow, but catches it. He opens the top and pulls out the photographs, and begins to look through them. There's no reaction as he sees himself in all those compromising shots, until he gets to the last one. The one where he's beaten up the guy.
”Christ no,” he mutters under his breath and frowns deep.
”What?” Bailey and I ask at the same time.
He flicks his gaze to both of us, and then continues to examine the photo further. “This isn't me in this photo.”
”It's not?” I question. Sure looks like him.
”No. And the guy ...” he sucks in a quick breath, pointing to the beaten up man. “The guy was my partner.”
”Was?” I choke out.
”Yeah. He was murdered.”
I close my eyes, my hands are trembling, and my churning stomach is getting worse. Bailey squeezes my hand even tighter and I hear her ask Travis, “So, in the photo, is he ... is he dead?”
I open my eyes to see Travis shift in his seat. “No. He’s only beaten up. But we found him a day ago.”
”Found him?” I whisper.
”Yeah. He was shot and buried in a shallow grave a few miles from town. That's kind of why I'm here, telling you all this. Things are getting way more dangerous than I thought. Jason is becoming suspicious, and he's a loose cannon. We have to be so careful from here on in. And giving you these photos, kind of feels like a message, Jen. Like he might be on to me.”
That was the exact thought I had. I immediately think of Tanning, and Jason's threats. Surely he isn't a murderer though, I mean he's a bully and he's into some bad crap, but murder? That's a bit hard to believe.
”Tanning. He threatened Tanning,” I say, my eyes wide, my breath caught in my throat.
Travis shakes his head. “I don't think he'll go near him, unless you give him a reason to.”
I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean?”
”I mean. You have to get Tanning out of the picture. For some reason, which I'm yet to find out, Jason's got a thing for you Jen, he's had his sights on you for a while.”
I swallow hard at the thought of leaving Tanning, but I press that to the back of my mind, there is too much else to worry about right now. “How do you know that?”
”Um ... well, not sure how to tell you this, but we found pictures of you. Lots of pictures, hidden in his apartment in Chicago. He left in a hurry and didn't have chance to clean it all out. That's how we figured he'd turn up here eventually.”
I blow out another big breath. Hearing that sends waves of chills up and down my spine. So creepy. But I really don't get it. Why would Jason have a thing for me after all these years? It doesn't make sense. And where would he get photos of me?
”So, that's why you turned up, and why you've been undercover? To get to Jen?” Bailey asks.
”Yeah,” is all Travis offers.
I have a lot more questions, but that's not police business. That is between Travis and me, and we will be having that conversation, but not now.
”Why hasn't he made a move? Why all this cat and mouse crap? If he's that dangerous, he's had ample opportunity to kidnap me, or ...” I can't bring myself to say something worse.
Travis sighs. “He's nothing, if not careful. He obviously isn't ready to make that move just yet. He's hard to track down, never stays in one place, always covering his ass. You're the only one we've been able to tie him to. He doesn't have any family or friends...”
”What? I thought he moved back here with his mom and dad?”
”His mother and father are dead. His father killed himself and the mother was found not long after, took a whole bottle of pills, and overdosed.”
”Jesus, when did that happen?”
”About four years ago, that's when he got involved with the big boys, and started dealing drugs. That's why he left Chicago in a hurry, he gambled with the wrong guys, and now they have him on their hit list. But he has evidence. Evidence that could put some of the big players away for a long time. That's why I've been trying to get into his inner circle. That's why we've been treading so carefully. We need to get hold of that evidence, and we can't afford for him to go ... missing.” Travis twists his lips, and averts his eyes from mine for a moment. I guess he doesn't want to say killed. Probably figures we're scared enough. I know I am, and I can see from the grey pallor on Bailey's face, she probably is too.
I rub my eyes. I'm so tired. This has all been too much. I can't believe I'm caught up in some huge crime ring. I have no idea how that happened. But I know one thing, I have to work with Travis, to get out of it. If Jason is as dangerous as he says he is, I won't be able to fight this alone anymore. I'll need to cooperate with the police. Even though it goes against my every grain.
”So, what are we suppose to do now?” I ask.
Travis sighs hard and gives me an intense stare. “We're going to need you to do what we tell you, Jen. You've been under police surveillance for a while now, and we need you to cooperate, no questions asked.”
”The cops have been watching me?” I scream out. Holy crap. That brings back bad memories.
”Yeah. Well, there was no way, I was leaving the mother of my child unprotected, so you've had our top police officers looking out for you. We've also tapped your phone and ...”
”What!” This is unfrigging believable. “They tapped my cell ... but when? How? Oh my god!”
Travis leans toward me, and holds out his hand attempting to pat my knee, but I flinch away.
”Hey, calm down. We weren't taking any chances. And I kind of had to do it, you know when we were together...”
I can't listen to anymore of this. My ears are ringing and my heart is thumping in my chest. I stand and walk out. I really don't want to look at him at the moment. I need some time to process all he's told me. This is just like when I found out about my father's deceit. Like I'd been living a lie. A lie that wasn't of my own making.
Once again I want to block it all out, to pretend everything is normal. When I know deep down it's not. I'm covered from head to foot in other people's crap, and no matter how hard I try to wash it off, I'm forever being dragged back into the mud.
TWeNTY-FiVe
_________________________
I turn on the faucet in Bailey's kitchen, pour myself a glass of water, and gulp it down. The fresh cold taste soothes my throat and mouth. I stand at the sink and look out on the green lawn covering the back garden. Unlike the front garden, it looks freshly mown, neat and tidy, the complete opposite to my messed up mind. I don't know what to process first. My head is pounding, and it hurts every time I have a new thought, or remember snippets of the conversation we've just had.
There's the sound of feet shuffling behind me, and I know it's Travis without even turning around. I was waiting for him to come and find me, but I have no intention of trying to deal with him right now. I hope he doesn't try to explain, because I don't have the patience to listen to his lame excuses. For all I know he's married with three kids. God, that thought makes me dizzy. I have to stop it. I can't even go there
.
“Jen. We have to finish talking about this. It's important.”
I close my eyes and nod once. “I'll be back in a minute, just give me a sec.”
An image of Tanning swims into my mind.
God, what am I going to say? How will I ever manage to lie to him?
I know I'll have to, and for the first time in my life, that is one lie it will kill me to tell. I don't want to lose him, but I can't see an alternative. I love him too much. I have to be strong and keep him safe. This might all be over soon, and I can explain. Or not. I don't know what Travis's plans are for Jason. Truth be told, I'm scared to death about seeing him again. Somehow I think that will be part of the plan. I'm obviously the only one he wants anything to do with, the only one who can get to him. Particularly if he suspects Travis, and those photos were a message of sorts. A shiver snakes its way down my spine and I wrap my arms around my swollen belly. I will have to cooperate, to keep us safe. I can't afford to let anything happen to Treasure Pot.
I make my way back to the living room. Bailey isn't there. I take my seat, and fidget while Travis continues to scroll through his messages. He looks up with surprise, as if he's just realized I've come back into the room.
He gives me a small smile. I don't smile back. I'm not ready for that yet. Pleasantries are off the table tonight. I really don't know him. He's like a complete stranger, who looks familiar some how.
He puts his cell away in his shirt pocket. “I've just listened to the recording of your meeting with Jason. That was pretty clever to call Bailey and have her listen in. I'm glad you weren't going into that situation without some sort of protection plan. It was risky though, you're lucky he didn't find your phone, that could have been ...” He swallows. “...dangerous.”
At the time, I didn't realize just how dangerous, or I might have had second thoughts about that plan.
“He didn't give me much choice. I didn't intend to get out of the car, but he wasn't having that, so I had to do something.”
“Yeah. He's a cunning bastard.”
I give a small nod in agreement. Though I'd say, nasty sadistic bastard.
“So, what now?” I hazard to ask. Though I've had more than enough for one day.
“The first thing you have to do, is stay here tonight, where you'll be safe. Bailey's already agreed, and gone to get you guys some dinner. You need to rest and we'll talk more in the morning. Jason said he'd contact you tomorrow, so we'll see what his next move is, then we can decide the best course of action.”
“What about Tanning? What do I tell him?”
Travis leans forward. “What he's most likely to believe?”
By saying that, I'm guessing Travis has Tanning pegged as someone who can't be easily fooled. I wonder how he knows that. Then again, he tapped my phone, so he's probably heard all our conversations. Ew! That makes me feel all kinds of icky.
I shrug. “I could say Bailey needs me to stay with her, but he'd find that a bit odd. We're not exactly besties or anything. I was lucky to get away with meeting Jason, using Bailey as my excuse.”
Travis twists his lips and nods. “What about me?”
“Huh?”
“What if you told him, I contacted you, and you were meeting me?”
I scrunch up my face. That would probably take Tanning off guard, he certainly wouldn't expect that, but he also wouldn't expect me to lie about it. And if this needed to be a long term thing ... oh god that thought makes me want to retch. I force myself to face the possibility I might just lose Tanning over this. I suck in a big breath and stop the tears stinging my eyes.
“Well?” Travis pushes, interrupting my morbid thoughts.
I cross my arms over my chest, and hold on tight. “I guess, that might work.”
Travis shuffles forward on his seat and gives me another of those intense stares. This time his eyes have more warmth, but that unsettles me. I think I'd rather see the icy coldness. I'm more familiar with that.
“Look, Jen. I know we have a lot to sort out. Stuff that has nothing to do with the case ...” He flicks his gaze to my stomach and I swallow the lump in my throat. “But, I think for now, we need to sort out the police business and then we can settle our personal business. Is that okay with you?”
I nod slowly.
Travis continues to look at me, and I squirm in my seat. Then his cell buzzes and he's distracted by an incoming text. Phew. Saved by the ringtone. Thank God.
He reads the text then puts his cell on the table. He glances at me again, but the intensity is gone. “So, Tanning. You better ring him, and tell him you won't be back tonight. Then we'll both go and see him tomorrow. I think it'll be easier if I go with ...”
“No! I really don't think you should be there,” I cut in, and Travis arches a brow.
“Let me deal with Tanning. I can do it. I promise.” I sound slightly desperate, but I'm hoping Travis lets me have this.
Travis wrinkles his brow. “How about a compromise.”
“A compromise? Not sure I like the sound of that. “
Travis shrugs. “Hey, I'm trying to be nice here. I never compromise.”
“Is that right? Not that I'd have a clue. Although, the Travis I know is an ass to everyone, so it's obviously not a hard act for you.”
Travis blinks, then lets out a half assed laugh. “You could be right about that. But you're not right about it being a hard act.” He grimaces. “Acting like that ass, especially with you, was the hardest undercover work I've ever done.”
Oh shit. That kind of makes me feel bad. Ugh, this is all so confusing. Travis being any kind of nice, still doesn't equate in my mind. I really don't know this guy. The more we talk, the more I'm realising that.
“Okay so compromise,” I say.
Travis shakes his head a little. “Let me come with you, tomorrow ...” I go to protest when he holds up his hand. “But I'll just wait in the car. You can go in and talk to Tanning by yourself. And then, if you need me, you can come and get me.”
I clench my hands in my lap, I don't expect I'll get much better than that. Well, not from a hard assed cop like Travis. He's obviously good at his job to have earned a detective badge, and to be doing undercover work.
I'll take it for now.
I nod and Travis gives me a small smile.
First battle over, my mind turns to calling Tanning. I quickly decide this first battle has nothing on the second one I'm about to face.
God, give me strength.
“Hey, Tanning,” I say softly.
Those words were tough enough. Now I'm not really sure how to continue with what I have to say.
“Hey, Sweet Cheeks, where are you?”
I bite my lip. It's only been a few hours, but god I've missed his voice. I've missed him. I sit on the edge of Bailey's bed. I'm in her bedroom, away from everyone. Travis even promised not to listen in. Not that I'm totally convinced he won't.
“I ah ... I'm at Bailey's still.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah. She's fine.”
“Right, so I'll see you soon then?” There's a sudden brightness in his voice, and it nearly kills me.
I close my eyes. This is so hard. “Um ... no. I um... won't be home tonight.”
“Oh. Okay.” The brightness has definitely gone now. He knows something's up.
“Look, Tanning, I don't want to explain right now. I need some time ...”
“Time? Time for what? What's going on?” he cuts in, his voice rising with panic.
“Nothing. It's okay. I just ... I well. I met up with Travis today...”
“Travis? Jesus Jen, what bullshit did he feed you? Did he ask for more money?”
“No. The opposite actually. He called and said he wanted to give my money back, and then he turned up at Bailey's and we got talking...”
“Uh huh.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. He sounds hurt. “He wants us to sort things out. You know, to be there for Treasure Pot.”
Li
es, lies and more lies, but I know this is a sore point with Tanning, and probably the only way I can convince him to leave me alone.
“Right. So he wants to be back in your life, and you're just going to let him. No questions asked.”
Now he sounds pissed. It really hurts to hear that tone in his voice, but I quickly decide to play that angle to my advantage.
“He is the father of the baby, Tanning. I can't ignore that fact. I have to at least hear him out.”
“Yeah. Right. Because he's been a great support so far.”
This is stabbing right at my heart. Tanning's the one who's been there for me and Treasure Pot and I'm about to throw all that right back in his face, just like his cousin said I would. I guess she'll be high fiving herself.
“He wants to try. I have to give him that chance ...” I nearly choke on those words.
“And ...” I hear him clear his throat. “What about us?”
I wipe at the tears streaming down my face, but I use all my strength to keep my voice even.
“I don't know.”
He scoffs, and doesn't say anything, leaving an awkward pause between us.
“I'm really sorry, Tanning,” I breathe out, and wipe more tears.
“Yeah. I just bet you are. Can't say I'm surprised ... should have listened ... okay, I gotta go...”
“Tanning, wait!” I scream. Then realize what I'm doing. I'm trying to cling on, when I should be letting go.
“For gods sake, Jen. What do you want me to say?”
“Um ... nothing. I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. But I have to give him this chance. For the baby. Please forgive me.”
I need him to forgive me. I can't stand the thought of him hating me again.
I hear him blow out a huge breath. “Yeah. Sure Jen. I can do that. Not like I ever really gave us much of a chance anyway. Forgiving you won't be hard.”
Oh god, that hurts. I was all in. He obviously wasn't in the same place I was. He doesn't feel for me what I feel for him. My heart just broke a little bit more, I'm not really sure how many pieces I have left to break now. The tears are flowing freely, and I don't think I can speak to him much longer without completely losing it.