My smile gets bigger when I look back at Lincoln. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Did I interrupt? I’m sorry if I did.” Thorne’s voice rumbles from his chest after my brother takes his leave and closed the door behind him. I awkwardly stand to the side of my desk as Thorne hands me the tray of food. “I didn’t know what you like so I pretty much grabbed everything.”
Thorne looks to my desk and sees the plate that Lincoln brought me. “Did you eat?” I ask him while I move behind my desk again. “You can join me. I may be eating for two now, but I don’t think I’ll finish this by myself.” I cringe at the nervous laugh that I release when I exhale. Could I be any more awkward?
Thorne takes the tray back from me and sits it on the coffee table in front of the couch. I grab the plate of food that Lincoln brought in and sit beside Thorne. We start to eat silently, the silence isn't unnerving per say, but it wasn't all that comfortable either.
"I like that you don't need to fill the silence with your voice." I balk at Thorne's words? Is he the type of wolf that thinks a female should be seen and not heard? Did I sorely misjudge Thorne? Because that was not how I thought he was, at all.
"Excuse me?"
"No, shit, not like that. That's not what I meant. I meant, you're not like other females that I've been with. They keep talking about unnecessary shit just to hear themselves speak. I like that you only speak when you have something to say. Something meaningful. You're purposeful. Intentional."
"And you're rambling." I smile and drop a piece of red potato and chicken in my mouth. When I'm done chewing, I wipe my mouth and ask, "So you've been with many women?" 'Ugh, why did I ask that question?'
Thorne has the decency to look embarrassed. "I'm a red-blooded alpha male. Do you really want a count? And don't tell me that you've never had sex before. I mean obviously you have before." His neck blushes red and he tries to stem the coloring by pressing his hand to the back of it. It was almost cute and endearing.
"No. Definitely not. And actually, Julien was my first and only one time." I know what he means in regard to a wolf's sexual drive. We're practically programmed to have a high sex drive from the onset of puberty. It's almost unheard of that I lasted as long as I did.
Thorne nods in understanding, but now that the spell is broken, I can't just return to silence.
"So, tell me about yourself. I really only know that you're the alpha of the biggest pack in North America."
"Well, I'm twenty-four years old, though my birthday is coming up in September. I love being a wolf, I can't imagine my life being just a regular human. And because of instances like Julien, where the Goddess was so angry at him that she took his wolf away, I base most of my decisions concerning myself and Stoneforest on whether this will please or anger the Goddess. I don't ever want to find myself in the position that I lost my wolf over something regrettable. My wolf is dark gray with some black in the undercoat. I used to like the color gray, but now I'm favoring a coppery orange." My breathing hitches a little while I'm left to wonder if he's describing the color of my wolf.
I hard swallow the pooling saliva while at the same time, Thorne's finger softly caresses a line down my cheek. My depth perception seems to blank out on me because it looks like Thorne is leaning closer into me. But that can't happen right now. No because the potatoes had garlic in them and I can feel my breath is wretched.
'But you didn't say that it could never happen,' my wolf reminds me and I groan. I inwardly cringe because that little annoying noise escapes me without prior acknowledgement and Thorne takes it as encouragement to continue forward until our lips collide together.
I'm stunned!
My lips are paralyzed, but only for a few seconds before finally remembering how to move against Thorne's lips. I give his tongue entrance and my hands wrap around his neck. Feeling his hands on my lower back, I arch into him as he pulls me deeper into his arms. There's no such thing as needing air or breaking the kiss when I find myself in his lap, straddling his legs with mine. Without thinking, I push into his lap and feel him thickening against my core. The shock of it all was like a bucket of ice water was dumped on my head and I pull away, almost scrambling out of his lap and onto the floor.
"I just realized that it's possible to be sorry and not sorry at the same time," Thorne's voice is breathy and husky with need. A light but throaty chuckle leaves his mouth and fills my ears.
"I uhh, umm, I need to get back to work. This list isn't going to make itself, you know." I hurriedly walk the short distance from the couch back to my desk and try to recompose myself. For the time being, my desk is my safe bubble and I'm very happy to stay in my safe bubble.
"How many names did you get?" Thorne stands at the front of my desk but doesn't attempt to peek at anything on it. He keeps his eyes drawn on me, and I can't be sure that I don't dislike the attention.
"Twenty-six. Well it was twenty-seven, but I crossed off Brittany's name for hitting on you. So now I have to figure out what to do with the odd wolf out."
"Does your jealousy know no bounds?" Thorne jokes and I narrow my eyes to slits at him.
"It's not jealousy, it's common sense and this is no joking matter. Lincoln just got finished telling everyone of Julien's demotion and saying that you were mine. And what does the little skank do? She turns around to try to do the same thing with you. If Julien wasn't fit to lead as beta for doing it, what makes her think that she should be considered for beta?"
"Fair point. Look, why don't you just have everyone fight everyone, round robin style. But if they lose by submission two times, then they don't advance to the next round. It's what I do at Stoneforest. No mess, no stress. Which isn't good for you anyways." Thorne's nod indicates my abdomen and my baby. I guess I should start saying our baby. It's funny how I've only known for three days, though I suspected for far longer, about this baby, but I'd always thought of it as mine only. Now I have to consider that Thorne has said he'd raise the pup as his own.
"That can work," I look at the list that I was working beforehand. One that I was almost done with and think about all the work that I wasted on it. "I guess I made things more complicated than they needed to be. Thank you."
"Anytime."
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Lincoln's first stop on his mate tour was Stoneforest, and I will never deny that I had hoped that when he called first thing in the morning, that he would say that he found her. Then he could have come back and oversee the challenge.
No such luck.
I can hear the sadness in Lincoln's voice as he told me his mate wasn't there. I almost feel bad that I pushed him so hard to do this. He was fine not actively seeking his mate, but now that he was taking charge in doing so, he was facing a lot of disappointment before he found her. I just hope she didn't mark another wolf. I'd be heartbroken if it happened to the both of us, though at least if it happened to Lincoln, he still wouldn't go through what I went through. At the very least, she marked him before meeting Lincoln, so the bond never formed between them.
After speaking to Lincoln, I leave my bedroom and meet Alpha Thorne in the guest suite on the third floor, down the hall from mine and across the hall from Lincoln's room. Technically, it was Lincoln's former bedroom, the one he had before he became Alpha of Willowhaven. Similar to Alpha Elijah Storsant and his guest cabins, we had a building complex for guests. However, Linc thought it best to have Thorne closer to me and offered up his childhood bedroom.
I don't mind. Even though I don't run into him much up here, it's rather nice having someone else on this floor while my brother is gone. Granted, it's only been two nights so far that he's stayed here, so who knows what will happen for the duration of his stay. No, our stay.
This will be the first time I'll see him since our kiss last night in my office. After I thanked him for his help with the competition, Thorne said he was going for a run and left the office. I was tempted to join him, or even run in a different direction. After all, the last time
I let my wolf out was in D.C. However, call me scared, I didn't want to run into Thorne outside either. I needed some space and a whole lot of time between us.
I think almost thirteen hours of time and space should be enough. Right?
Unfortunately, Thorne didn't get the memo that I was going to meet him for breakfast because when he opened the door to his room, his torso was still wrapped in a towel and water dripped from his hair and formed rivers on his broad chest.
Why was I always seeing him shirtless? Though now, he's practically nude. 'Only cause the towel's in the way,' my wolf preened in the mental recesses of my mind. I scoff at her freshness even though I try hard to deny that I want to see more.
"See something you like?" Thorne teases and I realize I was this close to drooling. 'Not a good look Kairi,' I tell myself.
"I was just wondering if you'd like to go down for breakfast together. And then afterwards, we can start the games."
"Come in and sit down." I look at him skeptically. "I'll change in the closet, don't worry." Thorne ushers me into his room and leads me to his bed. Thankfully though, he doesn't try anything and immediately retreats with a pile of clothes into the closet.
"So last night I told you a little bit about myself, but you didn't tell me anything about you," Thorne calls from the closet.
"There's really nothing to say about me. I like the color gray. I'm a business administration major at college. When I'm not studying or doing Luna duties, I'm more than likely reading. I do have an idea for a story to write, but it's not something I've really thought about pursuing."
"Tell me about it." Thorne steps out of the closet wearing black slacks, and a gray button-down shirt. We look like quite the pair since I chose to wear a dark gray short set and black gladiator sandals. I swear we didn't plan this, but I cringe that everyone will assume we did the annoying couple matching thing that sickening couples do. Not cute.
"I'm going to go change." I rush the words out of my mouth, but before I can hop off the bed, Thorne grabs a hold of my hand and starts to walk us out of the room. I foolishly try to tug my hand back as we climb down the steps, but Thorne isn't letting go. "Relax, we're mates, remember."
The breath I release to calm my nerves, does absolutely nothing for me. However, the imaginary circles that Throne draws on the back of my hand with his thumb do calm me. No one pays us any attention when we walk into the huge kitchen to fix our plates. Low chatter fills the air as the atmosphere buzzes with excitement for the beta challenges starting. I catch snippets here and there, some wonder about Lincoln's mate and how long it'll take for him to find her. Others place their bets on who will win the challenge or who they think would be the better beta.
However, when Julien and Natasha walk into the grand living room, the conversation changes. People begin wondering who Julien's true mate is, and why he chose Natasha over her. Julien's eyes drift to mine, briefly, before I concentrate on the waffles and sausage I chose. Until Thorne's hand lands on my thigh and squeezes, I don't even register that my body had tensed up. Yet, the moment Thorne's hand makes contact, with my bare leg at that, I feel myself relaxing under his grip. I relax so much that I lean into his side. The arm that was on my thigh is now around my waist and Thorne presses me closer into him.
"You guys are too cute. Where did ya'll meet? At the summit?" Amber, one of the teenage she-wolves that will be starting her freshman year in high school asks. There's a sparkle in her eyes, and I can tell she's a hopeless romantic. She's even holding her breath waiting for the answer.
"My birthday party actually," not a lie. That is where we did meet, so the question is asked and answered. Of course, I know that isn't what she's really asking. Amber wants the story of how we first looked into each other eyes and just knew we were it for each other. She wants to hear how the sparks electrified us when we touch. But I can't give that to her, but goddess I want to. No one deserves the pain of knowing that there's a chance your one true mate will choose someone else over you.
Sensing my melancholy, Thorne rubs circles on my side where his hand is resting. I feel his lips lightly caress a part of my head that's under his face.
"Wait, when Alpha Lincoln said that you were away at school those two weeks, were you really with Alpha Thorne?" Amber's imagination runs away with her and choking on my tongue seems like an excellent option. Especially since Julien chose that moment to walk back into the dining room and drop his plate. The sound of the plate crashing onto the hardwood floor breaks the tension that fogs up the atmosphere.
"No, I was really at school." Natasha walks away from Julien as he and others hurry to clean up the mess he made. She chooses an empty chair at one of the tables, but the wolves that are sitting there promptly turn their backs to her. Some have to twist their bodies around to achieve the shunning. "Is there a problem over there?"
The room silences again while my question lingers in the air. The wolves that had turned their backs to Natasha look at each other silently, obviously communicating who should speak up. I'm just about to command someone to speak when their little debate is over.
"We want to stand in solidarity with whoever Julien rejected. It's disgraceful to us as wolves to reject our true mate." One spoke up.
"Disgrace? Hmm," I stand from my seat and level my eyes at every single one of them. "What I find disgraceful is wolves going back on their word to welcome Julien and Natasha to stay on at Willowhaven as pack members. Did your alpha not tell you this?" I ask as some of the wolves slowly untwist their bodies to sit at the table naturally again. "Tell me, who welcomes others, by shunning them?"
No one has a single word to say, even Julien is humbled into silence after fixing another plate. The only one in the room who has something to say, is the other one who is the bane to my existence.
"I don't need your pity," Natasha growls back.
"Pity? You think I pity you? No," my head shakes as I step away from the table. Thorne gets up and grabs our dirtied plates and brings them to the kitchen. "For generations, my family has been the alpha family of Willowhaven. This pack has grown so much under the leadership of strong alphas such as my grandfather and father. And we still continue to get stronger now under Lincoln, my brother. And we have all benefited from the pride in integrity that has been homed in on us, both in the human world and as wolves. What would our word mean if we say one thing and do another? So, no, this isn't about pity, trust me. This is about protecting the legacy of this pack."
I stare at everyone in the room, including Julien and Natasha, making sure the pack knows that any injustice against my betrayers wouldn't be tolerated. The walk out of the dining room should have been a lonely one, but I again feel Thorne walking up beside me. However, unlike the last few times when I needed space, he pulls me in close as we walk outside to the backyard of the pack house. There is a sliver of my midriff that is bare skin and his finger drew more circles. I'm convinced that if someone was to make all of his lazy and imaginary drawings visible, my entire body would be a beautifully painted canvas. And also, like before, the effect is immediately calming. It's like he's creating the mating bond between us manually and on his own.
As my second chance mate, we shouldn't feel any of the sparks until we actually mark each other as mates. Same thing goes for developing a mental bond with him; though that can be rectified if Stoneforest has a welcoming ceremony for me before I mark Thorne.
However, this physical connection that I feel with Thorne is just all types too real. This slight feeling of intimacy has me thinking that this will work between us. We can definitely do this as people who respect each other, maybe even develop a friendship along the way. Love can possibly form, though that might be a long way off. I did the insta love feelings with Julien and look where it got me.
'But Thorne isn't Julien,' my wolf warns. I respond, telling her I know, but even I have trouble discerning if I am trying to convince her or myself.
"You'll make a wonderful Luna," Thorne's pride shines through.
"I've technically been Luna for the last few years. It's in my blood. Literally."
"No, what I just saw back there, goes beyond blood." Thorne stops walking, his grip on my waist tightens ever so slightly, causing me to stop with him. "I don't even think your pathetic ex-mate and friend know how hard it was for you to stick up for them against your own pack. It would have been so easy to just let your pack ignore and mistreat the two of them. Goddess knows they deserve it after the way they treated you."
Thorne's free hand brushes my hair from my face, his other hand still not letting go of me. I can't help but look into his amber eyes. The gold flecks that pick up the sunlight make it almost hard to determine if it's his wolf taking over, or if he's looking at me with his own look of pride. "Not many would stand there and stand by the very people who betrayed them. Yet, you did. You see the good and potential of a pack and lead them accordingly. Julien is a damned fool to let you go, but I can't say that I'm not happy that he is."
Listening to his praise, my eye prickles a little with tears. My brother was usually the only one that would give me words of encouragement in my role as Luna for Willowhaven. And until I heard Thorne compliment me, I had not even realized how much I was starving for recognition. It wasn't a pride thing, nor was it a need to fluff my ego. It just felt good to know that I was appreciated.
The Rejection (Luna of the Pack Series) Page 12