by Laura Carter
As I’m peeling the last of the paper casing from the blotchy cocoa cake, Becky leans into me. “Is everything okay?” she asks softly.
Is everything okay? Besides the fact I’m falling head over fucking heels for a woman I don’t want and can’t have? Other than that woman saying she’ll be going back to the UK? Despite the fact I have no idea why she left the UK in a hurry and know that there are so many things I’m still dying to discover about this enigmatic, freakin’ stunning woman? “Perfect. You?”
She nods quickly. “Great.”
That’s the last thing we say to each other before it’s time to call it a night.
* * * *
Becky deals with ablutions first. When I come to the bedroom for sheets and a pillow after brushing my teeth, she’s standing by the window in a short nightie, the room lit only by moonlight that shines against the silk. Her slender hourglass figure is kissed by the fabric, every curve shown in her silhouette. Her hair flows down her back in waves.
She turns when she hears me come into the room. “Are you sure you won’t take the bed? It’s your room.”
“No, you’re a guest. I’m just going to grab some sheets.” There’s no need to go to her, but it’s as if an invisible force is drawing me nearer. Knowing what I would do to any other woman wearing something like that, standing in my bedroom, looking and smelling the height of temptation. Me half naked in only boxers and practically feeling the heat radiating between us when we’re inches apart.
“You’re quite a hit with my family.”
She lifts her chin to look at me. The moon’s blue shine dances across the ocean view behind her. She’s a vision. A portrait. Everything about what I’m looking at is truly incredible.
I feel her slow breath and smell the fresh mint. I want to reach out and touch her face. I want to hold her cheeks and taste her lips, to wrap my tongue around hers.
Maybe. Just maybe.
She turns away from me to look back out of the window, pressing her fingertips to her lips and her other hand to her stomach.
“They’re great, Drew.”
I know my own reluctance. I know she wants to be single at the moment. But I don’t know how she has the strength to fight this. God, I would like to have the same strength. I step closer to her, far enough away not to be touching her, close enough to feel the charge between us.
I plug for something more. More information to understand this woman.
“Does it make you miss your family?” I ask.
At first, she’s still. I wait. Then she shakes her head. “No. We aren’t all close like your family. I guess that’s part of the reason I could never…”
“Go on.”
“Never mind.” She sighs and folds her arms across her chest. “This view is beautiful.”
I cast my eyes over her again, greedily taking her in. “It really is. Thanks for coming this weekend. I probably wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for you.”
“Thank you for bringing me.”
“Another thing ticked off your list. When it’s empty will you go back to the UK?”
She turns to face me, perhaps not realizing how close I’m standing to her. Her chest lightly grazes mine. The feel of her nipples against my bare skin shoots electricity through my veins. She looks up at me through lowered lids and I can’t stop my cock from jumping. “There’s still a lot left on my list.” She digs her teeth into her bottom lip, and I have to have it. I have to kiss those lips and run my hands over that silk nightie. I lift my palm toward her cheek.
It’s as if something snaps inside her. She grabs my hand. “Well, you know how to make all these experiences better. You’re the best friend I’ve found in New York, Drew.”
Ouch. Friend Zone. Right where I’m supposed to be, in fact.
I could use Monday coming around quickly. Really quickly. Back to work. Free time off my hands.
I swallow the out-of-control hormones that have my throat feeling like it’s been grated. “Well, goodnight, Becky.”
“Yep, sleep well.”
“’Night.”
“Goodnight.”
“Yeah. ’Night.”
“Goodnight, Drew.”
“Becky.”
I grab sheets and a spare pillow from the wardrobe and bolt to the sanctity of the sofa downstairs.
Lying back, staring at the ceiling, I can’t help thinking about her breasts pressed against me. Those nipples were pert, hard even. And it was not cold in that room. She wants me. God knows I want her. That makes this staying away from each other thing pretty freakin’ difficult.
I fight against my hand’s desire to be down my pants. She may be upstairs wearing a silk nightie. She may have a devastating body. But this is my parents’ sofa. I’m a grown man. Giving in to lust could result in me losing Becky altogether, and that would be a horrible idea. We both know a relationship would be an even worse one.
But my hand moves down to my boxers anyway.
Ah fuck. Where have thirty-five years of self-control gone?
I flip onto my side and tuck both hands up under my pillow. The next step is handcuffing them to the kitchen sink.
Chapter 13
Drew
I’m roused by the sound of cupboard doors being opened and shut and china being moved around. I pad through the den and into the kitchen, stretching my arms above my head as I yawn. Surprised, given my last thoughts before sleep, that I haven’t woken up stiff.
Millie and Mom are making breakfast. “Morning, big bro. Do you want toast?”
“At this stage, I’m unsure how much more food I can eat this weekend, but I could definitely use coffee.”
Millie pours me a coffee and hands it to me. She reaches up to plant a kiss on my cheek, as I lean back against the kitchen cabinet. “Okay, I’m going to see if the kids have drawn all over Eddie’s face with my lipstick again.”
“She needs to discipline those children,” my mom says. The humor in her voice tells me she wouldn’t manage it in Millie’s shoes either, not when the kids flash their big puppy-dog eyes. “I’m pleased we’re alone.” She moves to the junk drawer by the refrigerator and takes out a white envelope, which she hands to me.
I put down my coffee and open the envelope. Inside is a check for five thousand dollars. “What’s this?”
“Jake put five thousand dollars into my bank account. I told him not to, but you know what he’s like. He wants to start paying us back for his college tuition now he’s working and all.”
“I see.” I put the check back into the envelope, fold it, and move behind my mom to tuck it into the pocket of her robe. “You should keep it. Use it to redecorate my bedroom or for whatever you like.”
“It’s not our money, Drew. It’s yours.”
I rest back against the counter and resume the hold on my mug. “Well, I’d like you to keep it.”
She slams the knife she is using to butter toast against the work surface. Her spine straightens, her shoulders stiffen and rise, and she speaks with her focus on the counter in front of her. “And I’ve told you that you’ve earned every dime of your money and you should keep it. Now, your father and I agreed to let you pay for Jake’s tuition, and we agreed to keep your secret. We won’t accept him paying us back money that we never gave him.” She turns to face me, her eyes full of tears. “Do you hear me?”
Pride. That’s what has her eyes wet. Jake was never planned. Our parents were taken by surprise when he came along ten years after me. When it came to college, our parents had already spent everything they had saved to put me through Columbia and to help Millie and Eddie set up home.
“I wish that we could have paid for him, Drew.”
When her voice breaks, I cross the room and pull her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her. “All right. I’ll take it. I’ll take the money. I’m sorry.�
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I press my lips to her hair, and she grips me tighter. When she pulls away, she presses her fingers to the corners of her eyes, then takes hold of my face in her palms. “You’re a good man, Son.”
“If there’s any goodness in me, it’s because you raised me.”
“Charmer,” she says, tapping the tip of my nose. “Oh, Becky, good morning, sweetie. Would you like toast, coffee?”
“Coffee would be wonderful, thank you, Maggie.”
She is back in leggings and a shirt, her hair knotted on top of her head, her face makeup free. Her fresh look reminds me that she is only twenty-seven.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask.
“Once I got to sleep.” She struggled too. Was she also fighting to keep her right hand out of her pants? I decide not to ask.
* * * *
After breakfast, Becky and I agree, under the duress of high-pitched begging, to take Annalise and Timmy to the park.
We sit on a bench and watch them playing on the small jungle gym and slide. The air between us doesn’t feel as easy or comfortable as usual. I know that’s because I’ve crossed so many lines this weekend. Those transgressions have been mostly in my head, I think, but I’m sitting here now wondering where her head is in all of this. Did I imagine the looks, the touches?
“Can we swing, Uncle Drew?” Annalise asks, bounding toward us.
“Sure.”
I lift Annalise into one of two swings. Timmy is man enough to climb onto his own. Becky and I stand behind the two swings, me behind Annalise, her behind Timmy.
“Hold on tight. Don’t let go,” I instruct the kids.
“I’m not stupid, Uncle Drew,” Annalise chastises me.
Becky sniggers and bites down on her lip. “Not a word,” I tell her.
“I was only going to say it looks like you have a lot of authority there, Uncle Drew.”
I scowl at her and push the swing.
The kids scream and giggle, begging to go higher.
“So, this morning, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything, but I overheard that you paid for your brother to go to college.”
“You heard that, huh?”
“I think it’s an incredible thing for you to have done.”
“It was the least I could do. Jake doesn’t know about it. Neither does Millie for that matter. And I’d appreciate it if you—”
“Hey, of course. I would never share your secrets, Drew.”
“Higher! Higher!” Timmy shouts. Becky pushes him higher after telling him to keep tight hold of the chains.
“Millie never went to college. We don’t discuss it. She always said she wanted a family, and she got a job working for a construction company right out of high school. She and Eddie met when they were twelve or something crazy. He got a job with the state police. They just got on with things. They got married and moved out to New Jersey. Thing is I’ve always suspected Millie knew we couldn’t afford for both her and me to go to college and she decided not to go. It fucking kills me to think she sacrificed what she wanted for me.”
I realize my faux pas, but Annalise and Timmy are too busy laughing and squealing to hear my expletive.
“Well, I’ve only known her all of two days, but I’d say your sister seems perfectly happy to me. She’s got a great husband, two gorgeous kids. Some people don’t want more than that from life.”
“Maybe. Anyway, when it came around to Jake going to college, it would have cost my folks everything they had managed to save since putting me through Columbia, and more. They would have spent their retirement pot.”
“So you paid for him.”
“After a lot of fighting and back and forth, my parents saw sense. They never let me help them out with anything else. My dad once returned a winter coat I bought him because he saw the designer label and said he’d only ruin something expensive. I think it’s pride more than anything. And, hell, I can understand that.”
“It’s where you get it from, tough guy.” She curls one side of her lips affectionately. For a fleeting moment, I consider whether pride is something stopping me from making a move on Becky. But it’s so many things.
“You’re probably right,” I tell her. “So we agreed to keep it between us. Jake thinks they paid for his education, and it’s only coming up now because Jake is working for a big hedge-fund company, and he can afford to start paying them back.”
I bring Annalise to a stop and Becky follows suit, bringing Timmy to a halt, while both kids moan huffily. “We can come to the park again next time,” I try to reason to little avail. “Becky and I need to get back to the city and your mom wants to take you home.”
Annalise flashes me those fatal puppy-dog eyes. “Do you promise next time?”
I ruffle her curly locks. “I promise, kiddo.”
We start walking back to the truck—borrowed from Pops—the kids running ahead. Suddenly, Becky grabs my hand and tugs me so hard I’m forced to turn and face her. Before I know what’s happening, she crashes her mouth against mine.
Stunned, I don’t respond at first. Then I realize this woman, who drives me crazy, is pressing those soft lips I’ve been desperate to feel against mine. The animal instinct inside me comes out like a tiger through flames—hot, fierce. My body takes over. My fingers fist in her hair. My free hand roams her back over her thin sweater. She groans when my tongue parts her lips, tasting the decadent mix of sweetness and coffee all at once. She tastes even better than I imagined. Gripping her ass, I pull her into me. She rolls her pelvis against my crotch, making me forget that we’re in the middle of a children’s park.
“Ew!” Timmy’s voice breaks the spell.
Becky pulls back first. She covers her mouth with her hands. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what came over me.”
Her chest is rising and falling quickly, matching my own panting breaths. I need a moment to come back to the here and now. I need a moment to tell my cock to get the hell down. I want desperately to take her to my bed. Fuck it, I’d like to strip her naked right now, right here, anywhere, because I’m fucking aching to be inside her.
I draw a hand back through my hair. “You’re right. You’re right. That shouldn’t have happened.” But fuck if I didn’t want it to.
I won’t hurt this woman. I can’t. She’s too…good, perfect. Everything.
Christ, where is my head?
Up your ass, Drew. Your head is up your fucking ass. You don’t want to fuck her and hurt her by dropping her the next day, but you don’t want a relationship with her either.
Walk away.
“We should…” Becky gestures in the direction of the park exit and starts walking.
“We should.”
We drive back to the house in excruciating silence. I also think we may have scarred the kids with that kiss. It was…intense. It was hot. So fucking hot. I subtly adjust my position behind the wheel, and think of something, anything, to stop the war raging in my boxer briefs. I settle on my late grandfather. A peculiar choice, granted, but one that works nonetheless.
Back at the house, I hold open the door as the kids run inside first, then Becky walks by me. “Thanks,” she says, her cheeks scarlet.
“Nanna, Nanna! Uncle Drew kissed Becky!” I hear Annalise shout in the kitchen.
“No, Becky kissed Uncle Drew,” Timmy retorts. Atta boy!
If possible, Becky’s cheeks glow even brighter red. The fact that she looks adorable and like she just ran over someone’s dog all at once makes me catch her hand in the hallway and kick the door closed behind me. “Hey, look at me.” When she doesn’t, I lift her chin with the knuckle of my index finger. “I said look at me.”
“Don’t. Don’t try to control me. That’s exactly what I don’t want.” When her eyes glaze over, I know she means it. But I have no idea why. What do you keep lock
ed away, baby?
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to do that. I just want to make sure we’re okay.”
She closes her eyes on a sigh. I don’t go anywhere, waiting for her to open them again. “We’re good. I’m sorry about the park.”
“Don’t be. I haven’t been kissed like that in a while.” In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever been kissed like that. So it rocks me to the core and completely takes over my senses.
She bites her lip, and I have to pull it from her teeth with my thumb before I bite it myself.
Distance. We need distance.
“It’s not enough that you’ve damaged my kids irreparably?” Millie sticks out her tongue when Becky and I snap our gaze to her.
Becky laughs nervously. “Sorry about that. My fault entirely.”
She really thinks that? She has no idea.
Chapter 14
Drew
If my life had a headline right now, it would be this:
The award for the most awkward ferry crossing from Staten Island to Manhattan ever goes to Drew and Becky—Drecky.
Then there would be a picture of us looking like deer caught in headlights on an open country road. The caption would read:
Congratulations, guys, you fucked up, and one kiss was all it took.
This is why men and women can’t be friends.
When we dock, I carry Becky’s bag out to the street, despite her protest—which is, incidentally, the most she has spoken to me in the last few hours. I hail a cab and put our bags in the trunk while she gives the driver her address.
You could be fooled into thinking it was an August day with extreme humidity in the back of the cab. The tension radiating between us is almost unbearable. What I can’t figure out is whether she’s pissed at herself for kissing me, or pissed that we got stopped in the act.
Honestly, I don’t know which camp I’m in myself. I know it shouldn’t have happened. I’ve been talking myself out of doing the very same thing to her—and worse—since the day we met. But it did happen. And now I can’t stop thinking about the feel of her lips. The slip of her tongue against mine. The way she gripped my back, digging in her nails. How she pressed her breasts into my chest. She wanted me then and I’m damn sure I want her now.