Even crazier, she kept thinking he was right. He’d told her the secrets he held weren’t bad, but they were hard. But he was a pro. Had it been hard to lie to her? Judging by the way he’d seemed so withdrawn and almost pained at dinner, if she was being reasonable, she’d have to say yes.
He’d called her intelligent, had asked her to think rationally. So, what should she do? Should she swallow the hurt and realize it wasn’t all about her? How many women had Mr. Harrison kidnapped or sold or whatever he did with them? If she’d been in Noah’s shoes, would she have done the same thing?
“What did Noah mean by ‘cause a distraction’?” Mia asked.
Ryder flicked his gaze toward Mason and Elijah. “He’s just going to cause a scene while we get out of the hotel.”
Mason smiled. “Don’t worry about Noah. He’ll be fine.” His bright green eyes and red hair were a stark contrast to Ryder.
She wasn’t worried about him. Much. “I know.”
“We’re stepping out of the stairwell and into open air. It’s really important that you do what we say, when we say it, as fast as you can. Stay in the middle of us.”
She hugged her laptop bag to her chest as Mason carried her suitcase. For the first time, she actually felt terrified. “Okay.”
As they reached the bottom floor, Ryder whispered, “Are you ready?”
Not by a long shot. She was shaking so bad it was a wonder she wasn’t being felt on the Richter scale. Instead of voicing her fear, she nodded.
Ryder held up three fingers and then silently counted down to one before they stepped out of the door and into the lighted parking lot. She expected the humidity and heat. What she didn’t expect was the bullet whizzing past her head.
Instantly, she went from terrified to petrified. Immobile. There were screams and shouts, and the next second, Mason was curling around her as he picked her up by the waist and pushed her into the backseat of an SUV. They took off with a screech of the tires and began weaving through the city at breakneck speed, trying to lose Harrison’s thugs.
Ryder took her by the shoulders. “Mia.”
She blinked as she focused on his face. “Yes?”
“Breathe.”
She sucked in a gulp of air and dissolved into a mess of tears. “They shot at me.”
“Yes, but you’re safe, and you’re in a bulletproof SUV.” The dome light haloed him as he squatted in front of her.
“I froze.”
He smiled, and his compassion wrapped around her much like Mason’s arms had. “I know, and it’s okay. That was scary.”
“It wasn’t nearly as cool as the movies make it out to be.”
With a chuckle, he shook his head. “No, it never is.”
Mia glanced around the SUV. “Where’s Noah?”
“He’s working on keeping the bad guys from following us.”
It was dark out, and she could only see headlights. “Oh. Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine,” Ryder said, but his voice sounded off.
She furrowed her brow. “You aren’t just saying that?”
“No.”
His voice still sounded off, but in her current emotional state, it was possible she was just reading too much into it. “Okay. I’m angry with him, but that doesn’t mean I want him hurt.”
Ryder cut a glance at Mason who sat next to her. “We know.”
Mia decided to let it go. If Noah was really hurt, she was sure they’d tell her.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled into an airfield.
Elijah glanced over his shoulder. “We’ve got a base in North Carolina. That’s where we’re headed.”
Ryder fished his ringing phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear. “Yeah?...What?” He covered the receiver with his hand. “The pilot said the planes have been grounded.”
“Grounded? Why?” asked Elijah.
“Fuel leak.” Ryder looked at Mason.
“Okay. Orlando?”
Ryder nodded as he finished the call and made another one. “At least until we can get another plane. We’ve got a safe house just outside of Orlando. You’ll be safe there until we can get you out of Florida.”
“Hey, Noah,” Ryder said. “Plane’s grounded due to a fuel leak. We’re taking her to the Orlando safe house.”
Mia couldn’t hear what Noah was saying, but whatever it was, Ryder agreed because he was bobbing his head as he listened. “Okay, you lost them?” He ended the call. “Noah lost Harrison’s men and agrees. Orlando.”
Disney. She was going to be so close and still not get to see it because some creep had to traffic people. With a sigh, she leaned back and hugged her laptop a little tighter. Three hours, and then she’d most likely see Noah again.
She’d told him she borderline hated him. At the time, she meant it. Finding out he’d lied about who he was and then rushing out of the hotel hadn’t given her the ability to process anything yet. Maybe a long ride would give her the chance to put her mind in order.
* * *
When the SUV pulled into the garage, Mia was ready for a break. She liked Ryder. Mason was fine, and even Elijah didn’t bother her. But they were Noah’s friends, and she needed six degrees of separation from him at the moment.
As she reached the door that led into the house, Ryder pushed it open and held it as Mia walked through with Elijah and Mason following.
Elijah stopped in the kitchen and tossed down the bag he was carrying.
A second later, the door opened again, and Noah walked in. Mia’s treacherous heart thundered at the sight of him. Glad he was alive and unhurt. Tempted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him. She hated it and wished like the dickens she could hate him.
He kept his head down, and she noticed his gait was a little off. She’d know after as much as she’d watched him. She shouldn’t care, but…she couldn’t just turn emotions and feelings off like a television. “Are you okay, Noah?”
“I’m fine,” he said softly.
Ryder looked from Mia to Noah and back. “Let me show you to your room. You can grab a shower, change, or whatever you need to do,” he said as he took her by the arm, leading her through the house. “You’re safe here. The windows are bulletproof, there are cameras lining the fence, it’s a gated entry, and there are other precautions that I won’t get into. Just know that Harrison isn’t going to walk into this house without a fight.”
They stopped at the first door in the hall that was off the living room. “Thank you,” she said. “Um…”
“Noah’s fine.”
“I wasn’t…”
He lifted an eyebrow.
Mia sighed. “Fine. I was going to ask because he didn’t sound fine.”
“Look, I know you’re ticked. Your feelings are valid, and I won’t belittle them. Noah was following orders. He was told not to tell you. If anything, be mad at Pam or me.”
She gasped. “You?”
“I agreed with Pam that he shouldn’t tell you. Noah didn’t like it. He championed your innocence from the very beginning. He never thought you were working for him, even when I was telling him you were and that you knew who Harrison was.”
Her heart did a little skip. “He did? You were?”
“Yeah. So be angry, but remember who he was going after. It was a choice between trusting you and being absolutely sure we could take Harrison down. None of us wanted to risk him remaining free.”
“Wait. Why did you think I knew what Mr. Harrison did?”
Ryder grimaced. “Uh, let’s just say I’m really good with computers and I’m able to listen in on things. There was chatter that you were working for him, there was no security program, and that you were helping him ship people.”
Mia gasped. “I promise I didn’t. I had no idea. I thought the man was creepy.”
“We know. Something’s…off. We just haven’t figured it out yet.” He sighed. “Be mad at me, not Noah. He’s a good guy. He was only doing what he thought was right.”
S
he nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
“If you need anything, just ask.”
“Okay,” she said as she stepped inside the room and closed the door. Turning, she let her gaze sweep across the room. It was simple and spacious. Warm colors on the walls, a comfy-looking bed, and an attached bathroom. There was even a little sitting area with two chairs and a little table between them.
Just as she set her laptop down, a knock came at the door.
“Mia, you don’t need to open the door,” Noah called. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
She debated whether to just answer him from where she was or open the door.
“Mia?”
Just the sound of his voice was like a magnet, pulling her toward it. She opened the door, and there he stood, still keeping his head down.
He stuffed his hands in his back jean pockets. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“Did you get hurt? Is that why you won’t look at me?”
“It’s okay.”
She stepped toward him and lowered her head so she could see his face. “That cut across your nose says otherwise. Are you hurt anywhere else? I saw you limping.”
He shook his head. “I’m fine.”
Before she could stop herself, she cupped his cheek. “I’m trying really hard to put myself in your shoes and think with my brain and not my heart, but it’s difficult at the moment. I know you had a good reason, but that doesn’t make me feel any less betrayed. You lied to me. Noah, you kissed me, and good cause or not, I feel used.”
His eyes slid closed, and he pressed his face into her hand. “I know, and I had no choice.”
In addition to the cut across his nose, the slight turn revealed a bruise forming along his jaw.
“That looks like it hurt.”
He blinked and straightened, pulling her hand from his face. “I wanted to check on you. Is there anything you need?”
Boy, did he have a power over her. She was as ticked as a kicked bumble bee, but, man, she cared about him. Noah was trying to get a predator off the streets. A man who would hurt someone just like her and had hurt women just like her.
“Yes, I need to know how you got that bruise. Are you okay?”
“It’s not important.”
She huffed. “Fine. I don’t need anything, and if I do, I’ll ask Ryder. Just leave me alone,” she said as she shut the door. If he didn’t want to tell her, then she didn’t want to know. Except she did.
In an effort to push everything out of her mind, she focused on getting a shower. It was a whole lot better than focusing on the man on the other side of the door.
Chapter 19
Noah paced outside Mia’s room. He knew she was up because of the light escaping around the edges of her door. Plus, he’d heard her crying, which only made him feel worse. He could tell by the way it was muffled that she was trying to hide it.
Earlier in the evening, he’d made up his mind that he was going to try to talk to her again. He wanted to gain her trust back. Maybe if he gave her a piece of himself that no one else had, she’d see he really did care. That he’d kissed her because he wanted to. He’d made such a mess of things by not sticking to the plan.
He stopped pacing and knocked on her door, and the second his knuckles came in contact with the door, he had second thoughts. Before he could walk away, the door cracked open and Mia peered through it. “What?”
“May I come in? I’d like to talk to you, but not in the hall.”
Mia held his gaze long enough that he thought she’d say no, but then she opened the door and let him through. “Okay,” she said and shut it. “What?”
This was it. “I’m going to tell you something no other soul on this earth knows except one. And the only reason he knows is because he was a prisoner with me.”
“And I’ll know this is true how?”
He rubbed the back of his neck as his heart raced. “This isn’t something I like to talk about. I had a therapist for a while, but I didn’t even tell her. If you can’t tell it’s the truth…then I’ve got nothing.”
“Fine,” she said, walking to a chair and taking a seat. “I’m listening.”
In an instant, his mouth was dry, his hands were shaking, and his stomach was churning. It had been a long time since he’d let himself remember. It was a period of time he didn’t like recalling, and he’d worked on stuffing it as far back in his mind as he could.
Bile tickled the back of his throat as memories flooded him. He needed to tell her, but as hard as he tried, he was at the mercy of those memories now that he’d let them surface.
“Hold on,” he managed to croak out as he charged into the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach. His knees hit the tile, and he braced his hands against his thighs.
A second later, Mia flattened her hand against his back. “Noah?”
He couldn’t catch his breath while he was throwing up so furiously, let alone talk. Over and over, he retched until there was nothing left. When he finished, he cupped his hand under the faucet, took a sip of water, and washed his mouth out. He leaned his forehead against the wall of the bathroom, struggling to get control back.
“I just need a second.” He sucked in air like he was being jerked under water by a shark.
Mia nodded. “Sure.”
Like his therapist had instructed, he counted and counted until his breathing returned to normal. “I’m sorry.”
“With a reaction like that, you have my rapt attention and my solemn promise that I’ll never repeat a word you say.” She stepped out of the bathroom, walked back to the chair, and sat.
He shot her a glance as he followed her and took a seat. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. The reaction had been so strong and unexpected. Those memories were buried, but that’s how he’d dealt with what happened. Hadn’t he faced them before pushing them away?
“You said…prisoner?”
Noah trained his gaze on the floor. “Yes.”
“How long?”
“I’m told a little over eight months total. The last few months were a little hazy.”
Mia folded her hands in her lap. “Who captured you?”
He shook his head. “An armed group trying to overthrow the government. Negotiations were made, but at the last minute, they decided to hold two of us back. They wanted more money and weapons.”
“Where was this?”
“Nigeria, but just telling you that could get me sent to the brig.”
She leaned over and placed her hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I can’t remember what you just said, and it doesn’t seem important to the meat of the story. What happened?”
Again, he focused on the floor as events played in bright color. “They’d negotiated the release of all of us. We thought we were finally getting out, but they held me and a comrade back. I was the CO, so they thought I’d have more value,” he said and took a deep breath, his stomach churning again.
“It wasn’t a picnic for any of us, but negotiations broke down shortly after the others were released. The two of us were tortured. They withheld food, and when they did feed us, it would be rotten, but we would be so hungry that we’d eat it anyway and then spend days sick and throwing up. It was during the wet season and unusually cold that year. They’d drag us out, tie us in the middle of the village, and leave us for days. We were used as a warning for any of the villagers who tried to resist.”
“How did you finally get rescued?”
“According to my friend, another company pulled us out, but it was a fluke. They stumbled across us after taking back a village.”
“You don’t remember?” she asked softly.
He shook his head. “Days kinda blurred together. I’d caught pneumonia. Honestly, we were both about dead when we were found.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “I am not telling you any of this for sympathy. I am telling you because you trusted me, and I deceived you. I want you to have my deepest secret because I want you to know I d
idn’t set out to hurt you. I didn’t kiss you because I was using you. I kissed you because…you’re a hard woman to resist.”
For the longest time, she remained silent. The next time she spoke, her voice was so soft it was barely audible. “Is that why you don’t drink anymore?”
“Yeah, my friend who was tortured with me let me flail for a few months before straightening me out. Out of all of us, he was the only one who didn’t look to something for demon taming. Not that it did. I still hurt, and, honestly, nothing numbed it despite my best efforts. Afterward, I got some real help.”
“I don’t suppose much would help.”
“It wasn’t just being taken prisoner. I led us into an ambush. I’m the reason we were caught, and I’m the reason my friend suffered with me. He’ll say it wasn’t, but it was. He wouldn’t leave. I was already getting sick when they released the other guys, and he was afraid I’d die if I was alone.”
Mia chewed her thumb. “Do you think he was right?”
“I don’t know.” He was telling her the story, so he may as well tell her all of it. “After we got back to the states and were well enough to stand trial, we were all dishonorably discharged. During the firefight, one of my men was killed with friendly fire. We’d been told not to engage, and I made the call that we didn’t have an option. The rebels were going to force the men and boys to fight with them, and who knows what they were going to do the women and girls. But it was the wrong call according to the court.”
“Does your family know?”
“No, before I went on the mission, I left specific instructions that they were not to be notified until I was confirmed dead. I waited until I was healthy before I went home. Or as healthy as I could be. I stayed just long enough for it to count as a visit before I left. I told them I wasn’t in the Army any longer after six months, but they don’t know any of the details.” He’d straightened up just long enough to come home and see Zach after he’d been stranded.
Silence stretched again, minute after excruciating minute, until it became stifling yet again. The longer she was quiet, the less hope he had that she’d forgive him.
“I’m still angry with you, but I understand why you did it. It doesn’t lessen how hurt I am at all. I’m not certain I can be anything more than friends with you, and even that may take a while. I’m trying to be rational, but apparently, I’m not as levelheaded as I thought.”
The Ranger's Chance: A Clean Army Ranger Romance Book One Page 13