by Colin Tabor
I laughed as I reached for it, and then took a long swig.
Isabella smiled as she grabbed it back.
My dress felt fuller now that my breasts weren’t so restrained. I asked, “Do I look proper?”
A seedy smile came across her face. “You look very pretty.”
We left, heading back to the Rose Garden.
Again Isabella and I became separated amidst the noise and crush of the crowd. I knew where to find her, so I wasn’t concerned - besides I was preoccupied with trying not to stumble.
The drinks were taking their toll, and in that they weren’t alone: My mother’s lotus mixed with everything to make me feel quite hot and restless. My mind wandered from thoughts of husbands to lustful dreams, and even back to the big stevedore who’d exposed himself on the port road.
I was losing control.
The room buzzed with music, conversation, and laughter. Ahead, I caught a glimpse of Isabella as she reached the Sunroom. I’d catch up with her soon.
It was then that I heard a man speak from behind, his tone soft but commanding, “My lady?”
I stopped and turned.
Pedro Liberigo stood there with a bouquet of red roses. “May I present you with these?”
I thought I’d faint!
He reached out to give me the blooms, the stems wrapped in a length of white silk. “I’d be most honoured if you’d also accept a gifted drink?”
I felt vulnerable without my chaperone. What was I suppose to do? Taking the roses would be polite, but they were the most scandalous red. Was it wrong to take them? As for the drink, without my host I couldn’t possibly accept.
He saw my hesitation and offered, “Would you like me to escort you back to your table? When you’re seated, I’ll again make my offer in front of your friends?”
To me, with my mind now swimming under the sting of Isabella’s spirits, and my body burning with my mother’s lotus, that seemed like a noble idea. I nodded, not even noticing in my befuddlement that his gaze rested solely on my breasts.
He offered me his arm, and as I took it the crowd parted so the most eligible bachelor in all of Ossard could escort a Flet Mint Lady, a plain face at that, back to her table.
Strings of coloured lamps lit the Rose Garden, now bathed in sunset’s final glow. My cousin stood at our table searching the crowd for me while Isabella shrugged and sat down beside him. His eyes finally came to rest on me, and then my escort, seeing them fill with surprise. When we reached the table, it was an expression shared by all.
Pedro bowed before the table. “I must compliment the ladies for their beauty, and the gentlemen for escorting out such fine company.”
My cousin replied in kind, “Thank you for your generous words, and returning my charge to our table.”
Then, Pedro, as if he hadn’t stunned me enough, worked to do it all again. “I’d be honoured to have such fine company dine with me tonight in the Pearl Room, if you’d care to join me?”
My cousin couldn’t refuse the offer. It would be a great honour, and sate the curiosity of everybody; the Pearl Room wasn’t open to the public.
“Thank you for the invitation, one we all are most happy to accept.”
Pedro smiled. “Then allow me to provide some pre-dinner drinks.” He looked over his shoulder to a uniformed waiter. With a quick nod and a whisper the attendant disappeared, only to return moments later carrying a silver tray loaded with an assortment of refreshments. Pedro reached for two, handing one on to me. I accepted it and wondered if I’d just been sold, but such was this man’s charm that I didn’t care.
He said, “My apologies for being so forward, but I saw you this afternoon and knew we had to meet.”
A seat appeared for him beside me. He helped me into my own, and then took his before turning and taking my hands. “So, tell me young lady, what ever is your name?”
My heart raced while my tongue sat heavy, and I could only hope that my makeup hid my blushing cheeks. For a long moment I remained quiet, not even acknowledging his simple question.
Isabella, who’d been watching, broke in to save me from my paralysis, “The young lady is Juvela, Juvela Van Leuwin.”
He raised his eyebrows in recognition of the family name.
I smiled, and he went on to speak of rare beauty, fate, and destiny. Like any young girl I believed every one of his honeyed words.
I was swept away.
We moved to the Pearl Room, a fine upstairs suite. The whole room glowed, its white marble walls and floor reflecting the flames of scores of candles, dozens of them alone lighting a chandelier hanging from the vaulted roof. Everything in the room was made or tinted in the colours of cloud-white, crystal, pearl, or silver. The effect was heavenly.
The meal that arrived was as rich and sumptuous, amongst its countless courses, truffle soup, honeyed lamb, and Evoran jellies, with all of it punctuated by yet more drinks.
The evening was graced by easy conversation amongst our selves and a dozen of Pedro’s friends. Every member of our party seemed to be catered for, that is, everyone but me: Our host claimed my sole attention.
We seemed to be getting lost in each other, only momentarily distracted by the arrival of new courses, refreshed drinks, or our fellow guests. Finally, he asked my cousin, “May I have permission to escort Juvela for a stroll in the roof garden?”
My cousin quickly sobered, something spotted by Isabella. “I’ll play chaperone,” she offered, “I need to get some air.” As she rose she placed a hand on her husband’s shoulder to keep him in his seat.
Pedro pulled back my chair so I could rise, my vision spinning as I got to my feet. I tried to stifle a giggle as I walked as gracefully as I could manage, heading for the door where Isabella waited.
We left the room and passed down a corridor, moving towards a narrow staircase at its end. Isabella saw me on my way before dropping back, a moment later I heard her voice hiss in whisper. I turned to see Pedro nod to her as she took something from his hand. She then went back down the corridor, past the Pearl Room, and to a staircase that descended to the ground floor.
Pedro turned to me. “Don’t worry, Isabella won’t be long.”
I laughed and continued to the stairs. What did I care? I finally got to be alone with the man of my lotus-fuelled dreams! I wasn’t afraid, far from it! My thoughts ran drunk with wine and heady with lotus.
I just wanted him to kiss me!
I started to climb the stairs and slipped. Pedro’s strong arms caught me, pulling me against his chest to keep me safe.
He smiled and held me close. “Come now Juvela, we can’t stand like this forever. What will people say?”
With his arms around me, I really didn’t care.
I let him steady me, and then he passed by to lead me by the hand.
Was he planning on taking advantage of me?
Such a fine host couldn’t be doubted - even though I stood besotted by his charms and drunk on his liquor.
Above, the full moon glowed fat and bright, its blue, green, and tan face marked by swirls of white.
Everything was so perfect…
We walked amongst raised beds of herbs, roses, and hedges, all of it lit by occasional lamps. I stumbled several times as we walked along those dim paths, but every time he was there to catch me.
Soon we found ourselves entwined together, and staring into each other’s eyes. He whispered, “You’re such a rose.”
“I’m so glad we’ve met, that you sought me out.”
“How could I not?”
“Oh Pedro…”
And then he bent down to kiss me.
I should have slapped him.
His presence was intoxicating, his smell, touch, and warmth setting me afire. When his hands began straying, I didn’t just give in, I welcomed them.
If I hadn’t realised it earlier in the day, I did right now: This was what I wanted, and I wanted it very badly indeed!
He led me to a secluded corner of the ga
rdens, a place lost to shadow and surrounded by tall hedges, all of it centred on a beautiful lounge. Once there, he untied my dress and helped himself to my breasts while I undid his britches to find the joy within. Finally, mostly naked, and as if the spell had to climax, I reclined as he climbed atop, eased my legs apart, and then slid inside me.
I had never been with a man before, and I swear it was like being born anew and dying all at the same time. It started with pain, but soon became a very morish pleasure, and one that put even my most shameful dreams well and truly in their place.
Amidst our passion, unbelievably, the voices that had haunted my mind chose that moment to return. I began to rock my head about, as if trying to cast them out. That’s when I noticed the men watching; they were standing amongst the hedges.
I would have screamed, but one of Pedro’s hands had come up to stroke my cheek seeing him inadvertently cover my mouth. I tried to meet his gaze, but he was looking the other way, and with his bulk astride me I was pinned and unable to move about. So, while I tried to get his attention, he just kept working me.
Deeper and deeper…
The robed men stepped out of the darkness to close around us in their long blacks, their features lost to hood and shadow. With them came a chill that stirred a fear in me that was nothing but primal.
We had to get out of here!
The voices in my head grew louder, no longer whispering mumbled words, but joining together in a rising wail.
I tried to scream to get my lover’s attention, but his hand, once a tool of gentle pleasure, now pressed down so heavily that I barely raised a sound. Confused, I bucked, thrusting my hips up into his as I tried to throw him off.
He just rode out my efforts.
Harder and harder…
And then one of the robed men stepped forward.
Pedro turned his head in their direction, but instead of showing surprise, he nodded in greeting. My lover, with sweat from our efforts running down his brow, growled, “Hurry!”
He knew them!
The leader nodded and started a chant, the tongue of it foreign, but its rhythm making it ring out like a prayer. The others were quick to join in.
Panic finally overtook the alcohol and lotus in me, yet I lay helpless under Pedro’s weight.
What could I do?
What were they going to do?
Were they all going to jump on top of me once Pedro had finished?
It was then that I realised I knew their leader. I was staring into the same cold eyes that had arrogantly watched me as he stole the redheaded boy away. As if in answer to the thought, he snapped his fingers, and the same child appeared, pushed forward to stand mindless before us.
The voices sounding in my head climbed higher, their choral wail growing more intense.
They were terrified!
I struggled again, trying to force Pedro off. His weight made it impossible, and my bucking only seemed to give him more pleasure.
I had to do something!
I bit down on his hand, but he barely flinched. Blood came into my mouth, but he just kept working me.
Faster and faster…
The leader stood there with the child in front of him.
The chanting built in crescendo and then finally peaked.
Casually, as if filleting a fish, the leader opened the child’s throat with a blade and a quick flick of his wrist.
Pedro gave a throaty growl, pushing down so hard into me that I yelped. And with that deep movement my own body responded, trembling as it found its own release.
Then it was done, both he and I, and the red haired boy.
All of us finished.
I lay there with Pedro slumped on top of me, both of us wearing nothing more than sweat; his of exertion, mine of terror.
The boy still stood, held by two of the robed men. They were draining the life from his body, directing the red flow from his wound into a bowl of silver.
The robed leader wet a brush in the bowl, and then began painting something on Pedro’s back.
I shivered.
The leader finished his marking, and then looked to me. He leaned down, his breath on my cheek, and uttered something in the tongue of the chant before kissing me.
Slowly, Pedro removed his bloodied hand from my mouth.
I tried to scream, but no sound came.
All of them laughed at my horrified surprise, even Pedro.
Their leader said, “You will remember this, all of it, but you will never be able to speak of it.” And then he grinned.
He stepped back into the shadows, as did those with him. In a moment, only Pedro and I remained.
The alcohol had long ago relinquished its grip on me, replaced with horror and shame. Pedro knew, but refused to let me become a prude. He pulled out of me as he rolled off, and with his closest hand squeezed one of my breasts. “Perhaps I’ll see you again, Juvela, you are too special to let go.” Then he got up, turned around, and fetched our clothes from where they lay on the paving.
Under the silver-blue moonlight, I could see that the cultist had marked a four-sided diamond on his back. Painted in blood, it now trailed long dribbling lines from the base of his neck running all the way to his butt. He looked to me and smiled, but it wasn’t of shared joy, instead it was of selfish power.
We seemed to be alone, leaving me to wonder if I was safe. I also worried about the time; Isabella had been gone for far too long.
I wanted to run.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted Sef.
Pedro dressed himself and then helped me. He pulled me up and off the lounge, forcing me into my dress with well-practiced hands. I wondered with disgust; how many other women had he been with?
Then we stood facing each other.
I scowled at him.
Would he or his robed associates ever want to see me again? I hoped not.
This would be the end of it.
He regarded me. “Your dress looks as it should, but let me fix your hair. He fussed over me, his touch lingering, and then he wiped away tears I didn’t remember shedding.
As if nothing had happened, he asked, “How am I, orderly enough?”
Shocked and numb, I whispered, “Yes.” He actually looked magnificent, truly alive and vital, as if he’d been blessed.
He took my reluctant hand and led me along the path.
I felt stunned and confused. My guilty flesh still carried his memory, worse still a part of me revelled in it.
I’d unwittingly been part of a ritual that saw my previous silence on the redheaded boy’s kidnapping mature into the guilt of being present at his murder. I’d also shamed my family.
Voices rose from the stairs, we turned to meet them. I let go of Pedro’s hand.
It was the rest of our party.
I would try and tell them, I had to.
Pedro stepped forward to greet them.
Horseface and Heifer looked tired and bored, but I couldn’t hold their gaze.
My cousin carried the bouquet of roses. The sight of them hurt me; my perfect dream dead.
I tried to speak, to say that a boy had been killed, that forbidden magic had been worked, but my mouth would simply not move. Despite my efforts, neither my voice nor jaw would follow my command.
Pedro watched me. A sparkle in his eye told me that he knew of my plight. I could see his relief.
Isabella appeared out of the darkness behind us.
Had she been there all along?
Her face gave away nothing.
My cousin said, “It’s a good night for a rooftop stroll, but unfortunately the evening must come to an end.” He looked to Pedro and continued, “I must thank you for your invitation to dinner.“
Pedro bowed and looked to me. “It was a pleasure, and a pleasure I’d very much like to have again.”
I shivered.
3
The Coming of Shame
I went through the next few days as if in a trance.
&nbs
p; My mother worried, I think she thought I was drifting off, somehow becoming lost to the magic. Struggling with my own guilt, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I convinced myself that I wouldn’t have been able to in any case because of the binding their leader had put upon me.
Slowly, I pulled myself out of the haze, helped by my mother reducing the amount of lotus she added to my meals. In the end, I reminded myself, it hadn’t been me drawing the blade across the boy’s throat. I was just a witness. If anything, I was also a victim - if perhaps a luckier one.
And so I went on, trying to soothe my troubles away. It didn’t work, not at first, but soon I found some solace and my malaise began to fade.
Pedro didn’t call on me, and for that I was glad. I even began to think I could put the whole thing behind me and settle for a simpler man.
Until I discovered I was pregnant.
Before long I wasn’t the only one who knew. My mother realised and told Father. The maids overheard, and through them the news of my shame spread.
Pedro’s next visit started without the charm of our first meeting.
I was sitting in our household’s courtyard, a place I’d tried to find peace in by greening like Rosa Sorrenta’s famed garden. My efforts had shown some success, but early autumn in Ossard was no time for new roses to take.
I heard the bell ring, and listened as one of our maids attended to it. I expected it to be a messenger - since word of my pregnancy had got out, my parents’friends had stopped calling, all too embarrassed by my condition.
Soft voices hummed, followed by quiet as the maid hurried away to seek my mother.
My parents weren’t speaking to me. They hadn’t since I’d confirmed my pregnancy, something feared by my mother since she’d seen the state of my torn undergarments. Worst of all, she’d also forbidden Sef to talk to me.
The little I did want to say in my defence couldn’t be said; the cultist’s casting blocked every one of my attempts to talk of it. It left my mother and father, and even Sef to think the worst of me.
I heard the click of the front door’s latch; our caller had either left or let himself in. The curiosity as to which saw me turn around. At the same time, a gentle whisper of warning swirled about me.