by Мишель Роуэн
He whimpered again pathetically.
"Do you understand?" I asked again, raising my scary voice up a notch.
"Y-y-yes. I understand. I do. I… I promise."
I hissed out a breath. "Then I think this date is officially over."
He nodded in complete and total agreement.
"You need to go home now." It wasn't a magical demonic suggestion that he couldn't resist. It was simply a suggestion.
One he took.
He was gone.
Whether Chris had been drunk or not, I had a sick feeling that what he had just seen wouldn't be forgotten quite as easily as I hoped it would be.
Once he had disappeared into the distance, running along the street in the direction of his home, I took in a very shaky breath and realized I was trembling violently.
I might have sounded all cool with him, but inside a storm was raging. I was furious and beyond upset. The anger at what he'd attempted to do to me swirled around my stomach making me nauseous. I felt the overwhelming need to cry or destroy something.
Possibly both.
Relax, Nikki, I told myself. You have to relax.
If I didn't calm myself down, I knew something horrible was going to happen.
Energy sparked off the ends of my black talons. My heart pounded so hard in my chest I could feel it and hear it in my ears, a loud, thunderous sound. I couldn't seem to relax. The rage I was feeling was spiraling inside of me. I felt out of control.
Then a hand curled over my bare shoulder. I flexed my leathery wings and whipped my head to the side, ready to hurt whoever stood there.
It was Michael.
His eyes widened as he took a moment to look at me. Then he blinked.
"Come on," he said. "It's not safe here."
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with him around the corner to a vacant side of the school. I didn't resist but my shaking was getting even worse.
"I can't control this," I gasped.
"Sure you can." He stopped walking and turned to face me. "Just breathe."
I nodded and a lock of bright, flame-red hair fell onto my face. Michael stroked it back. I was surprised he'd want to touch me when I was like this.
"Demon form can be triggered from feeling high emotions like anger or fear." He frowned deeply. "I saw Chris leave here. He didn't… he didn't try to hurt you, did he?"
I sucked in a shaky breath. "He cornered me in the back of a limo and wouldn't take no for an answer, if you know what I mean."
"He what?" What felt like an actual wave of fury radiated off Michael and it made goose bumps crawl over my skin. "He tried to… to…? I'm going to kill him. I will tear the head from his body!"
I shook my head. "No, I'm okay. After he's seen me like this I'm sure he won't come anywhere near me ever again. I scared the crap out of him."
His expression was tense and angry, but he gently wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. "You're really okay?"
My breath was still coming in quick gasps. "Except. . except for this demon thing. I couldn't control it. And now I can't change back. Of course I was able to scare Chris off. I scared him by how ugly I am."
He shook his head. "Princess, there's nothing ugly about you." He cupped my face in his hands. "But you have to try to relax."
I had to relax. I had to.
Pain radiated through my stomach. "I'm dying. Harnessing my Darkling powers is killing me."
"You're not dying." He hugged me to him a lot like how Chris had in the limo, but it was different now. Michael wasn't Chris. I hadn't known Michael for very long at all, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me. Holding on to him helped me to slowly calm down. It made me feel safe. It helped chase away the anger and fear.
"Shh, it's okay." He kissed my cheek and stroked my hair back from my face.
I closed my eyes and held on to him, and slowly I felt the Darkling inside of me recede. My wings began to disappear. My teeth desharpened. My nails returned to their short, pink-polished state. The pain grew worse but as I returned to normal and clung to Michael I realized it wasn't as bad as the last time I changed back to human form.
"Better?" he asked after a few minutes went by.
I nodded. He began to pull away from me but I held on tight.
He looked down into my eyes. "See? You're not dead."
"Not yet." I took a deep breath. The pain was completely gone now and it gave me a chance to think straight. I looked up at him. "Where were you all day?
I thought you said you'd come to see me again."
"I know. I'm sorry, I couldn't come before now."
"Why not?"
His expression shadowed. "I just couldn't. I… I thought you would have drunk the potion by now." "But you came anyway?"
"I wanted to make sure you were all right. You had mentioned the dance so I knew you'd be here at the school." He must have seen the hurt look that I couldn't hide and he swallowed hard. "I wanted to come earlier. I did. I'm really sorry I wasn't here for you."
"But you're here now. Thank you for helping me calm down."
"You're very welcome." He smiled a little and then turned more serious. "You should have drunk the potion by now, though. The king. . he's getting worse." He exhaled. "Elizabeth thinks he has only hours left, not days."
My heart twisted. "I need to see him again."
He shook his head. "That's not a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Taking you back to the Shadowlands would only make it harder. For you, for your father. He's in no shape to see anyone-he's constantly in demon form now. And there's no time left. You. . you have to drink the potion or you won't have any choice when the king dies.
You'll automati' cally become queen. I know you don't want that." "And I don't want to die."
"Die?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Elizabeth told me that harnessing my Darkling powers will kill me. I've done it three times now and I guess I've gotten off lucky." I swallowed. "I can't let it happen again."
He looked confused. "She told you that?"
I nodded. "She researched Darklings when my father asked her to. She didn't want to tell him or it would worry him more."
His brow lowered. "What do you mean you've turned Darkling three times!"
I quickly told him about my confrontation with knife-guy again in the park. His expression grew darker with every word.
"I should have been there for you," he said. "I should have protected you." "It's okay."
"No, it's not. You were in danger and I didn't help you. But Elizabeth. ." He paused. "She cares very much what happens to you. And she's very adamant that you drink the potion-she says it's the only way. She allowed me to come back here to check if you had or not." He met my eyes and his expression was strained. "You have to drink it, Nikki."
My throat thickened. "Do you really want me to forget about you?"
"It's the only way."
"You keep saying that. But it doesn't answer my question."
He looked down at the ground. "Princess, I'm a servant. I'm not supposed to want things." "You don't act like a servant."
"Then I'm very sorry," he said. "But I'm just supposed to do what I'm told without questioning it. It's the only way I've ever known."
Something about how he said it made me think very hard. Servants couldn't question orders given to them. They had to do what others told them because
. . because why? They weren't supposed to have minds of their own. Not allowed to make their own decisions, whether that decision was right or wrong.
Sounded like being a teenager. Everybody told me what to do. Where to move. What classes to take, what tests to study for. What books to read.
And now I was being told to drink a potion because there was no other way. Elizabeth's argument for me drinking it was a very good one, though. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be queen.
No other choice.
"For what it's worth," Michael said after a moment of silence between us,
"I don't want you to forget about me. And if things were at all different, I'd tell you not to drink the potion if you didn't really want to. But that would be selfish and stupid of me."
I shook my head. "It's not stupid. Or selfish."
He met my gaze again and held it. "When King Desmond first told me to come here to the human realm, to find his daughter and bring her back to see him, I was convinced you'd be a spoiled brat. I thought that as soon as you found out I was your servant you'd treat me like a nobody. That's the reason I didn't tell you what I was until you found out from your father. When we were in the alleyway after that guy attacked you, and you didn't leave me there-you waited, you stayed with me until I was better-I didn't feel like a nobody. I didn't want to lose that."
"You're not a nobody," I told him, swallowing past the huge lump in my throat.
"My parents died when I was young and your father has treated me well. I can't really complain too much. But it's not the same as… as how you treat me.
You surprised me, Princess. So much. And when you kissed me last night…" He pressed his lips together.
I waited as my heart drummed loudly.
He blinked. "Everything changed."
I inhaled sharply. "What does that mean?"
"It means I don't want you to take the potion and forget about me. It means even though I know who I am and who you are I still want to kiss you again right now. So badly." His mouth was close to mine and he stroked my back-to-blonde hair off my face. "But I can't."
He pulled back and reached down the front of his shirt to pull his amulet out. Only then did I realize he'd had it tucked inside his shirt before.
"Why not?"
"Because your father wanted me to protect you, and that's what I'm going to do." He turned and looked away. "That's why you have to drink the potion.
When you do that, you'll be safe."
It was silent then between us as I thought about everything Michael had just told me. Why did this have to be so hard?
"You said my father only has hours left," I said. He nodded gravely. "I want to see him."
"I already told you that's not a very good idea."
"I heard you. But I don't care. I want you to take me to him and Elizabeth again. Please."
"Princess. Please, drink the potion now. It's for your own protection."
"No."
His gaze snapped to mine. "No?"
I set my jaw. "That's right. I know everybody wants me to drink it, and I'm going to, eventually. But I want to see my father first, or else I'll refuse to drink it at all. I want to go back to the Shadowlands to see him one last time. Please help me do that."
"You'd put yourself at personal risk to make this happen?"
I crossed my arms. "Looks like." "And if I still refuse?"
I slowly let out a shaky breath. "My father said that you were supposed to do as I asked. Isn't that true?"
He grimaced. I hated having to remind him of his servant status. I didn't think of him that way-not even slightly. But I needed him to take me back without arguing. Even though commanding him to do it made me feel sick inside.
"Of course it's true, Princess." He looked away. "If you order me to take you back, then there is nothing I can do but take you."
I forced myself not to cry. "Then I order you to take me back to the Shadowlands."
"Very well." He nodded slowly. "We should leave immediately."
"I need five minutes first. I have to go inside and say good-bye to my friends or they'll be worried about me."
He didn't look directly at me. "I'll wait here."
Heavy-hearted, I stopped at the limo first and retrieved my purse through the opening where the door had blown off. I'd placed the potion bottle inside it since I couldn't hide it under the low neckline of my dress. I went inside the school, and into the gym. I'd already said good-bye to Melinda earlier so that wasn't actually my main reason for going back.
Instead, I went to the bathroom and stared at my now-disheveled reflection in the mirror over the sinks. At least I didn't see any remaining traces of Darkling. I'd fully turned Darkling twice-three times if you counted what happened to Robert-and I was still alive, still breathing. Maybe Elizabeth was wrong. Maybe I was different from the other Darklings she'd researched.
I tried to smooth my now-messy updo back into place. I splashed cold water on my face and touched up what little of my makeup was left as best as I could. I dug into my purse to get my lipstick and my fingers grazed the bottle of potion. I pulled it out and looked at it for a long moment, a million possibilities racing through my mind.
If I drank it everything would be normal again.
But what was normal anymore?
Michael didn't want me to drink it but he said I had to. Sounded exactly how I felt about it, too. Didn't want to, but had to.
I was so sick of being told what I had to do. It was usually the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
I stared at my reflection for a couple more minutes, trying to will something deep inside of me to the surface. Courage, inner strength, serenity, something that would help me to do what I knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, I had to do.
After another minute, I left the bathroom and walked to the punch bowl to get a glass of the fruity beverage. Drinking it made me feel momentarily better. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was. I looked down into the bowl as the orange slices swam on top, and I tried to collect my thoughts. I wanted to get rid of the feeling of dread that swirled violently in my head-not unlike the dark storm clouds beginning to circle over the school, threatening snow.
A storm was brewing and I was headed right toward it.
But no one seemed to notice but me.
Chapter 15
I seriously wished I'd taken a coat to the dance. Little did I know I'd be walking through Erin Heights in a spaghetti-strapped silk dress and bare legs in the middle of December. Luckily, it wasn't snowing yet, but I was still chilled to the bone.
Michael noticed I was shivering and immediately gave me his hooded sweatshirt to wear. Otherwise he was quiet.
"Thank you," I said, zipping it up over my dress. I still felt horrible that I had ordered him around. "Look. . I'm sorry about this. Really."
"Forget it," he said quietly.
But I didn't want to forget. That was one of the reasons I was going back to the Shadowlands. I was sure there had to be a way for everything to work out without taking the potion.
I knew I'd made some potentially questionable decisions. I just hoped it would all work out for the best.
"Do me a favor, though?" he asked after another minute. "Don't tell Elizabeth you've turned Darkling. It will… it will worry her too much."
He was right about that. I wouldn't tell her. But she was the resident expert on Darklings. I had to talk to her and get more of an idea of what I was up against.
Besides, if she was willing to be queen and I didn't want the position, why couldn't it be left at that? A decision rather than an uncontrollable selection process that couldn't be changed?
I looked at Michael. I could tell that he was trying to sense where we could find another gateway. His amulet pulsed with dim light.
"My father told me that if Shadows still ruled the Shadowlands you'd be a prince," I said. "Is that true?" I wasn't sure where the question came from, but I had to ask.
He kept his eyes on the sidewalk ahead of him. "Yeah. But they don't and I'm not, so it doesn't really matter, does it?" His amulet flared with green light. He turned right once we entered the downtown area. "Here's where we want to go."
Behind the convenience store where Mom usually picked up milk and scratch-and-win lottery tickets, Michael took hold of a large Dumpster and pulled it away from the wall an inch or two. Behind it I could see a dull glow.
"That's a gateway?" I asked.
He nodded. "They're well hidden in the human realm and they shift regularly. We wouldn't want just anyone accidentally dropping into another dimension, would we?"
"No, that would be very bad."
Once he'd pulled the Dumpster completely away from the wall and I could see the outline of the gateway clearly, he turned to me with a concerned expression. "Look, I'm doing this for you against my will. I want you to know this. You shouldn't go back there. You should drink the potion and be safe here. But you want to go and so I'm taking you. Just. . just be careful, okay?"
I'd expected him to still be mad at me for pulling rank and this strange concern was surprising. I swallowed hard. "Okay."
He fixed me with a grim look that softened the longer he gazed into my eyes. And then he turned around and disappeared through the glowing gateway. I didn't wait too long. I followed, experiencing the lurch and vertigo of my previous gateway trip. The next moment I stood on the threshold of the Shadowlands, with the faery realm next to me, warm and green and beautiful.
Well, here I am again, I thought, as the stunned realization sunk in that I was really back. The vertigo stayed a moment longer than last time and I wobbled in my high heels. Michael put his arm around my waist to steady me. After I regained my equilibrium, I took off his sweatshirt and handed it back to him. Our fingers brushed as he took it from me and then he slowly gazed at my lavender dress, which he could now see in daylight.
"You look so beautiful, Princess," he said.
A breath caught in my chest. I normally would have been thrilled with a compliment from him, but he said it so sadly and when he looked in my eyes, he seemed worried.
He was afraid. Of what, exactly? Of bringing me back here unannounced and getting in trouble? Of my father dying and my being trapped here as a very unwilling queen? I was afraid of that, too. More than he knew. Or was it something else entirely?
Before I could ask, he turned away from me. "Let's go."
My high heels dug into the soft ground as we walked, but once the ground turned to gray rock it was a bit better, although still precarious. The front doors of Castle Dread opened for us when we finally reached them and a chill went down my spine as I entered the now-familiar expansive front area with its glistening black floor and spiral staircase.