“I told you. I lost my head once. It won’t happen again. Besides, how do you know what I’m doing?”
Gillian’s eyes held a wealth of knowledge and what almost looked like pain. “I doubt you’re trailing me for any other reason.”
The past rose between them, an untreated wound.
Unwilling to hold her gaze, Brad stared out at the green bushes, past to the tall, sturdy trees that provided relief from the overheated sun. “It’s about the kidnapping.”
A beat of silence echoed after the roar of a passing truck faded.
Gillian fiddled with her paper cup. “Then you need to back off.”
“You know why I can’t. And I won’t be a liability. For the record, I didn’t lose it until after we nabbed the guy.”
“Then why hasn’t Maroney assigned you to the case?”
Brad stared again at the dense greenery. “He doesn’t know why I lost it.”
Puzzlement filled Gillian’s eyes. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
Brad swallowed, remembering. “I considered it. But it’s not as though we get this kind of case often.”
“Yet you still didn’t tell Maroney.”
“Gillian, I don’t know how it works with the feds, but in the HPD, telling your superior that you have an emotional connection to a certain type of crime isn’t considered an asset.”
She nodded. “I suppose so. But you could explain—”
“How long ago it was?” Brad asked bitterly. To him it seemed like yesterday. Part of him wanted to push away the memories, to keep the horror at bay. But a stronger need to make sure what happened to Amanda—and his family—didn’t happen again tore at him as it had since he was fourteen years old. Closing his eyes, Brad remembered.
It had been like any other day. He’d had football practice after school. When he arrived home, even though Amanda wasn’t there, he hadn’t been concerned. He’d thought she was at Stacy’s. The two girls had alternated between each other’s houses nearly every day after school. He hadn’t known Stacy wasn’t in school that day because she was ill. It was only when his mother arrived home from work that they’d questioned Amanda’s whereabouts. By then, his sister and her abductor had vanished.
In his mind, Amanda remained an enchanting twelve-year-old eager to be a teenager, yet who still slept in a bed filled with stuffed toys. Brad was always the big brother, and it had been his responsibility to watch out for her. Even today, he thought of himself as a failure.
He felt a gentle touch on his arm, a remembered touch. “Are you okay, Brad?”
Nodding, he put the past away for the moment. “Yeah.”
“This is why you shouldn’t be involved in the investigation,” she said quietly, with no anger or censure. “You can’t possibly remain objective.”
“That’s a pretty hasty assumption.”
“No one could expect you not to feel a personal connection. Don’t you see that?” she questioned, her hand still on his arm.
The point of connection seemed to grow warmer. He looked down, which must have made her follow his gaze.
Abruptly she pulled back. “I know this must be hard for you—to stand back and watch, but you have to put these new victims first.”
“Can you name anyone else in the department who’s had as much training and experience?”
Her chin lifted a notch. “And if I could?”
“You’d shut me out to even old scores?” he asked incredulously.
Now her neck was stiff, her eyes level with his. “I wasn’t aware of any old scores.”
No, their marriage had been dissolved with near surgical precision.
He was the first to drop his eyes. “You’re right. I just—”
“Lost sight of the moment?” she asked with jarring accuracy.
“I think I’m allowed this one. I’m not sure there’s an established precedent on how to react when talking to your ex for the first time since the divorce. I don’t recall a course on it at the academy.”
She pushed back a lock of hair that brushed her forehead. He’d always liked the relaxed, easy swing of her hair, the way the sunlight brought out the glossy dark sheen. He had to consciously keep his hand from reaching out to touch the strands.
Luckily Gillian didn’t notice his interrupted gesture. She crumpled her napkin and shoved it onto the paper tray that held the remainder of her uneaten hot dog. “Okay. We can agree on that.”
“So what’s your answer?”
To her credit she didn’t pretend that she didn’t know the bottom line. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“And meanwhile—”
“Meanwhile everything is being handled.”
He wanted more, but he could see from her expression that was all he was going to get. And that had never been enough.
THREE HOURS LATER, and Gillian was stalled. She’d conducted interviews since early that morning and now she was waiting for Turner and Fulton to call. Afraid that her mind was becoming too cluttered with personal concerns, she’d decided to get away for an hour.
Gillian drove past the borders of the precinct toward her sister’s home. When she’d phoned, Teri hadn’t sounded quite so wound up now that David was back in town.
Gillian pulled into the driveway, appreciating as she always did the house’s distinctive contemporary style. Hard and sleek lines camouflaged the warmth within.
Seemingly mile-high walls were primarily glass; window upon window that allowed the sunlight to cascade over the cool terrazzo and oak-planked floors. Teri insisted the design was easy to maintain. But it was clear the layout had been planned down to the last detail. Guests always lingered at Teri and David’s parties, drawn into the charm of the house as well as the charisma of its owners.
From habit, Gillian opened the gate to the breezeway that led to both the terrace and the rear door.
“I’m back here,” Teri called. She was sprawled on one of the swings that were cozily made for two people, her sandaled feet hanging over one side.
“All alone?” Gillian asked in surprise, seeing no kids running like mad in the thick grass. She wanted to talk to Teri alone and had been prepared to bribe her with an invitation to her favorite coffeehouse.
“Yep,” Teri answered with obvious satisfaction. “David’s taking the kids out to a movie as a treat.”
“He is?” Gillian questioned with a trace of suspicion. Her sister and brother-in-law still acted like newlyweds. Gillian would have expected them to be together on his first day back.
“Just enjoy the blessed quiet. Oh, and there’s peach iced tea on the table.”
“Teri!” Gillian said with exasperation. “What are you doing getting rid of your wonderful husband on his first day home?”
Teri shrugged, the gesture of a woman confident of her marriage. “You wanted an audience?”
“Well, no, but I only planned to steal you away for an hour.”
“David just moved up his day out with the kids. It’s okay.” Teri straightened a fraction, leaning toward her sister. “And you needn’t worry I’m taking him for granted. Anything but. I know how lucky I am.” She met Gillian’s eyes. “How very, very lucky I am.”
Gillian tried to halt the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. There was nothing like a sister, and none other in the world like hers. Teri had kept her from completely falling apart after the divorce. She had devoted hours to listening. And apart from being protective, for the most part she hadn’t judged. Of course, she had bristled over the fact that her little sister had been hurt. But that came with the concern.
Reaching for a glass of iced tea, Gillian fiddled with the pitcher for a moment, a delaying tactic she should have known her sister would recognize.
“Come, sit down,” Teri said in a gentle tone.
Gillian did as she asked, perching in a solo rocker near her sister, then releasing a huge sigh.
“That bad?” Teri asked.
“It’s just…just…” Gillian stared o
ut into the pretty, well-tended yard. “Confusing, strange…I don’t know.”
“That’s understandable. Couldn’t you ask for a reassignment? I mean, if your boss understood your history with Brad—”
“You remember how glad I was to get my promotion so I could move on to a new office—with new people. It’s hard to be around people who know all the gruesome details of your history. Sympathetic looks from the women. And from the men, being asked on dates either out of pity or on the assumption I’d be easy pickings. So, I really don’t want to confide in my new boss.”
Teri nodded, then drank slowly from her tall glass. “Funny, isn’t it? I mean that both you and Brad are in different places with your work.”
“Well, that happens,” Gillian mused. “And I couldn’t control my promotion.”
“Maybe.”
Gillian stared at her sister. “Maybe?”
“What did you think would happen when you worked all those extra hours, weekends and holidays?”
“You make it sound like some sort of nefarious plot!”
“Calm down, baby sister. I doubt it was a conscious decision. But deep inside, maybe you hoped a career change would help you get over the loss of your marriage.”
“I don’t know.” Gillian shrugged. “I suppose so. But unlike Brad, I didn’t ask for a transfer that would take me across town!”
“Ouch,” Teri replied mildly.
Mentally, Gillian backpedaled. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be human.” Teri reached out, patting her sister’s arm. “Could you ask for a reassignment without revealing any personal reasons? Maybe tell your boss that you have a personal emergency, need to take some time off. Then, wouldn’t they assign someone else to this case?”
“Wouldn’t that be ironic,” Gillian muttered.
“Ironic? Why?”
“Because Brad just took a leave of absence so he could work on the case.”
Puzzled, Teri stared at her. “Why’d he have to do that?”
“His captain learned early on that Brad can’t keep his objectivity when it comes to child kidnappings.”
“Oh.” Teri spoke the single word, but it resonated.
“Yeah. It’s still tearing him up.”
“What about his family?” Teri asked sympathetically.
“We aren’t chummy enough to have discussed his parents.”
Teri caught Gillian’s hand. “Sweetie, this is going to rip you to pieces. Won’t you consider talking to your boss?”
“I can’t.” Gillian bit her lip. “I just can’t.”
“But why not?”
“Because Amanda’s disappearance eats at me, too,” Gillian confessed, swiping at her eyes.
“It’s who you are,” Teri replied, reading her sister’s thoughts. “And because you loved Brad, it means nearly as much to you as it does to him.”
Gillian swallowed. “And it was a big reason our marriage ended, not the whole of it, of course, but still…” She left unsaid that it was a huge part of why her perfect love had shattered. Refusing to take the risk of being hurt by the disappearance of another child, Brad wouldn’t even consider a baby. And Gillian couldn’t consider a future without children. It was a stalemate that could never be resolved.
“So, now you have to figure out how to deal with Brad and this case,” Teri said, her voice conveying her empathy.
“I know it won’t be easy….”
“Sweetie, I just hope you live through it.”
“Do you think I’m crazy?” Gillian asked solemnly.
“No. I think you’re you. My very special sister who can’t turn her back on a stolen child today or one from years ago. I just hate to think of the pain you’re going to face.”
Gillian couldn’t force herself to deny that truth.
They sat together in easy silence. Years of caring and bonding eliminated the need to speak.
And in the quiet, Gillian remembered.
It had rained all day and much of the evening, leaving the black-topped road slick and the always humid air of Houston heavy with the remains of the storm. It was a dark night, the moon hiding beneath dense layers of clouds.
Brad had been assigned to an armed-robbery case, one that had begun locally, then crossed state lines. At that point the FBI had been called in to join the investigation.
Gillian had been part of the federal team. She and Brad had met inside a taped-off crime scene. Despite the murky night, their eyes had connected. The attraction had been instantaneous and enthralling.
The investigation ended quickly afterward, but not their romance. They fell in love, hard and fast. And with uncharacteristic abandon for both of them, they eloped within weeks of meeting. Despite the rush, their love was true and should have lasted forever.
Forever. The word reverberated through Gillian’s thoughts. She still had days in which she woke expecting to find Brad beside her. And other, worse days, when she knew that would never happen again.
There had to be a reason why they’d been thrown together again. She had a brief flash of his face, the sadness that still filled his eyes.
The scars were deep, unlikely to heal, but she had to try to help Brad. Even though they didn’t have a future together, Gillian wanted him to be happy. And until he learned the value of family, Brad would never know that happiness.
Thinking of the missing children she had to find, Gillian prayed she was about to do the right thing. Gillian hugged her sister, then jogged to her car. Even the short hour she’d stolen was one she didn’t have to spare.
AS GILLIAN APPROACHED the precinct, she saw Brad sitting in his parked car. He casually waved and she couldn’t repress an ironic smile as she motioned for him to follow.
Having come to what she hoped wasn’t a disastrous decision, Gillian pulled into the lot of a small grocery store and parked, reaching into her portfolio for the latest case notes.
Brad knocked on her window.
Obligingly, Gillian rolled it down.
“You wanted to see me?”
“Uh-huh.”
He let a few moments pass, glancing around the quiet lot. “You really shouldn’t do surveillance alone. Is your partner still fielding leads from the public?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Are you trying to be irritating?”
Gillian smiled sweetly. “No, it comes naturally.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it as quickly.
She stuffed most of the papers back into her satchel. “As I see it, we have two alternatives. I can allow you to help or…”
Brad’s eyes darkened.
“Or,” she repeated. “I can send a report about you to both Captain Maroney and the head of the bureau.” She paused. “So you have a decision to make.”
“I’m listening.”
Gillian bit her lip. “Here’s my proposal. I’ll agree that you can help unofficially with the investigation if you agree to my conditions.”
“Such as?”
“Interacting with me and my family.”
“Your family?”
She lifted her brows at his tone. But it was up to Brad. He could choose to walk away. Although it hurt to admit it, he might prefer to give up this investigation rather than spend time with her.
Brad stepped a few inches closer. “Why this condition?”
Gillian knew her request must seem unusual to him. Brad hadn’t interacted much with the Kramers during their brief marriage. She regretted not forcing the issue then. Perhaps if he had, he would have learned that family could bring fulfillment rather than loss. But she didn’t think he was ready to hear that now. “Call me stubborn.”
“I have. Often.”
Gillian gripped her portfolio tightly, trying not to let emotion bleed into her voice. “So, what’s it going to be?”
For several moments only the sounds of passing traffic and the distant clatter from the store could be heard.
“I want to work this case,
” he said finally.
Gillian tried not to let his reluctance penetrate her professional stance. Or to stab at her frayed feelings. “Fine.”
“Where to?”
“Brad, we need to get some ground rules established.” She hadn’t forgotten how he listened, then went his own way. This ability to remember every little detail about him, Gillian realized, could be a problem. She needed to keep her distance. “I don’t want you to assume you’re just one of the team. I shouldn’t be including you in the investigation. Forget that I’m probably committing professional suicide. If I’ve made the wrong call, we aren’t the ones who’ll suffer.” She reached to turn the key. “Are you getting in?”
Brad walked around the car and opened the passenger-side door. “You really should keep these locked.”
History floated between them. “I can take care of myself.”
His jaw tightened visibly. “So you can.”
Gillian flipped on the defroster in defense against the muggy day. And wondered how she was going to keep the past where it belonged.
THE STREETS OF SOUTHWESTERN Houston were now as familiar to Brad as his own apartment. But he hadn’t traveled them with Gillian at his side. She seemed detached, as though they’d never shared anything more intimate than work.
Gillian coasted to a stop at a red light. “I don’t know much about this part of town.”
“It’s not really your style.”
She looked at him. “And it’s yours?”
He shrugged. “It suits me.”
“I see.” She turned on the next street, the one leading to Katie Johnson’s elementary school.
It was one of the places young Katie had been the day she vanished. After school she had attended a Scout meeting nearby. FBI and HPD had canvassed the area continually since her disappearance.
Brad stared at the innocent-looking school. “Who’s investigating Deerling, the Scout leader?”
Gillian pulled alongside the curb, allowing traffic to pass. “That would be me. I interviewed him yesterday briefly, but I want to talk to him again.”
Vanished (Harlequin Super Romance) Page 3