She stopped directly in front of him. “Thomas? I’m Esther. Please forgive the way I look. The train was not good for my morning sickness.” That was an understatement. Never in her life had she dreamed of being as sick as she’d been for the past four days. She’d thought her morning sickness was bad when she was back in Beckham, but she’d quickly discovered it was mild compared to how it could be.
Looking closer he could see the dirt on her dress was actually vomit. He wanted to plug his nose so he wouldn’t smell her but was afraid of hurting her feelings.
“Is this everything?” he asked as he took her carpet bag from her. Would it be wrong of him to tell her to go back where she came from? He certainly hoped this was an aberration and he wasn’t marrying a woman who walked around dirty and smelly all the time.
“No, there’s a trunk as well.”
He didn’t want to touch her, but carefully handed her up into the wagon. “I’ll be right back.” He ran from her to the spot where they were unloading the luggage. He had a pastor waiting for them, and now all he could think about doing was sending her back to Massachusetts. Her smell was more than he could handle. He knew he shouldn’t care how she looked and smelled, but he did. He’d been so excited to have her here, but he just couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with her filth.
He hefted the trunk onto one shoulder and put it into the back of the wagon before taking a deep breath and climbing onto the wagon seat beside her. “I have a pastor waiting for us.”
She nodded. “That’s good.” She looked in front of her, not sure what to say to him. “I’m still feeling very sick to my stomach, so I may have to have you pull over.” She prayed it wouldn’t come to that. This was not how she’d planned to meet her husband.
“I can do that. Just let me know. I’d rather you didn’t throw up in my wagon.” He stared straight ahead as he said the words, doing his best not to breathe too deeply.
He drove the five blocks to the pastor’s house and pulled up in front of it. He’d never been particularly handsome, so he’d never thought he’d marry a pretty girl, but he’d never expected to take a bride who was not only pregnant with another man’s child, but also covered in vomit. How could he go through with it?
He carefully helped her down and walked to the front door. He knocked quickly and the pastor’s wife came to the door. She took one look at Esther and said, “Are you okay?”
Esther nodded. “Just motion sick from the train.”
The pastor walked up behind his wife and his face changed when he saw Esther standing there covered in vomit. He whispered something to his wife who nodded. “Can we put off the wedding for an hour? I think your bride is in need of a good bath and hair washing.”
Esther blushed, but nodded thankfully. “I’m so sorry about the smell. I was sick the whole way here and there was no way for me to bathe.” She stared down at the ground in front of her, embarrassed. They were obviously good people who wanted to help her, but she wished they’d ignored the smell. Of course, a bath would make her feel wonderful.
“I’m Gertrude,” the pastor’s wife told her as she pulled her into the house. “Start heating some water,” she said over her shoulder as she led Esther toward the back. “We’ll have you clean and feeling better in no time.”
“Thank you so much. I hated meeting Thomas looking like this, but I really didn’t have a choice.”
It took them an hour and a half to get her bathed and her hair washed out. When she was dressed in one of the dresses from her carpet bag, she felt much better. Most of the queasiness was even gone. Gertrude pushed her into a chair and fixed her hair for her. It wasn’t anything fancy like she’d done for her first wedding, but it was better than it had been, so Esther was grateful.
*****
Thomas sat with the pastor in the front room of the couple’s house. He kept his eye on the clock, wondering if the two women would ever be finished and come back out. It was almost two hours when the pastor’s wife appeared with a pretty young woman at her side. It took him a moment to realize it was Esther. He jumped to his feet. “You look so much better.” He immediately covered his mouth with his hand. He hadn’t meant to tell her she looked bad, but the woman had been filthy. He’d done well not mentioning how much better she smelled.
Gertrude smiled at Thomas’s reaction to his wife. “I think she’s ready for the wedding.”
Thomas nodded and swallowed hard. His new wife was beautiful. How had he not noticed that before?
The two of them stood in front of the preacher, and he happily took her hand. The ceremony was brief and to the point. The pastor knew he needed to get back to the homestead before milking time. He paused for a moment when he was told to kiss his bride, wondering how she’d react, but knowing it was part of the ceremony, he lowered his head. The kiss was brief, but it was enough to make him very interested in the upcoming night with his new wife. Her lips were soft and sweet as he brushed them with his own.
When it was over, he thanked the pastor and his wife, paying them an extra dollar for the bath and time they’d given up to make his new wife ready for the wedding.
When he helped her into the wagon this time, it didn’t bother him to touch her hand. It was as if she were a completely different woman than she’d been when they walked into the pastor’s house two hours before.
“How far is it to your homestead?” she asked her voice soft and calm.
“It’ll take us about three hours if we don’t run into any trouble.” He stared straight ahead as if afraid to meet her gaze.
Her head jerked toward him. “What kind of trouble could we run into?”
He shrugged. “Rain. Wolves. Indians. Any number of things. We don’t usually have any trouble, though.”
She found herself looking around them nervously as they drove. She’d heard there were a lot more Indians out West, but she hadn’t had a chance to experience them yet. “Do you have a rifle?” Her voice held just a tint of panic.
“Of course. We may see a buck on the way, and I couldn’t let that pass.”
The motion of the wagon immediately started to bother her stomach again. She groaned with her hand against her belly. They had just made it out of town when she said, “I need to throw up!”
He jerked back on the reins and pulled to the side of the dirt road. She scrambled down on her own without waiting for his help. Running as fast as she could, she made it to the small copse of trees before she relieved herself of the few bites of food she’d managed to eat just before getting off the train. She certainly hoped her mother was right and the morning sickness would be over soon. She didn’t think she could handle much more of this. Although her stomach was expanding, she was getting much thinner overall. Her dresses were hanging off her.
She looked around for a stream to rinse her hands in, but there wasn’t one, so she went back to the wagon, happy she hadn’t gotten any vomit on herself this time.
He was standing beside the wagon waiting for her, looking anxious. He helped her into the wagon again. “You okay?”
She shrugged. “My mother told me I’d feel better after my third month. I sure hope she’s right.” She tried to act blasé about her constant vomiting but she honestly was afraid he’d want to get rid of her if she couldn’t stop throwing up. What a way to start a new marriage.
“How far along are you?” He looked at her stomach, finding it hard to believe she was actually carrying a child. She looked thin, much too thin to have another person inside her.
“Two months and three weeks. Should be better in another week according to my mother. I can’t take much more of this.” She shook her head as she said the last words. What if the morning sickness didn’t stop?
“Were you sick before you left home?”
Esther nodded. “I’d been throwing up for weeks before I left. It never occurred to me the train ride would make it so much worse.” She laughed shortly. “I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to get any worse.”
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br /> “I bet it was hard to get to a chamber pot on the train.” Now that he wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, he was able to think about what she must have gone through on the train, not being able to keep any food down, but still knowing she needed to eat for the sake of the baby.
Esther sighed. “The porter brought me my own to hold. No one would sit next to me or across from me. I felt bad for anyone who had to get within five feet of me.” She didn’t mention how badly she’d smelled, because she knew he had smelled her as soon as she’d gotten off the train.
He sighed, feeling badly for her, but just as badly for himself. He’d hoped for a wedding night tonight, but there was no way anything could happen with as bad as she was feeling. Hopefully she was right and she’d do better after her third month.
They talked very little on the way to his homestead, and he wondered over and over if he’d made a mistake accepting a woman who was pregnant. What was he thinking?
They made stops every quarter hour along the way for her to vomit, so they were much later getting home than he’d planned. He pulled up in front of the house and helped her down. “I need to milk the cow. If you feel up to it, I’d be grateful if you could have dinner fixed when I get back.” He watched her as she headed toward the house, wondering if he should show her around. He’d planned to, but he really needed to get the cows milked before it was dark out.
She nodded, her stomach still rolling, but she didn’t say a word. It was her job to fix his dinner no matter how she felt. It was after seven already, so the light wasn’t as bright in the house. She lit some lanterns and found the trap door in the floor of the kitchen that led down to the cellar. She found some bacon, eggs and potatoes, and decided they’d do for a quick meal. She carried them up the stairs in her skirt and built a fire in the stove.
While the stove was heating up, she washed her face in the pail of water on the counter, and poured it out. She pulled her hair down from its knot on the back of her head and re-fixed it, knowing it had fallen all over her face during her frequent sick bouts on the way to the homestead from the city.
She went outside to find more water, and carried the bucket into the house for her washing after the meal.
She chopped up the potatoes and fried them with the bacon, and then added the eggs, mixing them all together for a quick meal. Looking around, she saw there was milk to use, but no bread. She’d make fresh bread the next day. Toast was the only thing she could eat in the mornings just now, so it would be best if she had some bread made up for that as well as other meals.
When Thomas came back in from milking, he was relieved to see Esther had washed up again. Her skin was losing the green tint now that she wasn’t being bounced around on the seat of the wagon.
They sat across from one another at the small table, and he said a quiet prayer for them before they ate. “Supper smells good.”
She smiled tiredly. “I hope it tastes good, too.” She was always nervous when she cooked for someone new, knowing she wasn’t as good at cooking as some women were. She enjoyed it, though, and planned to keep getting better.
He noticed she’d given him a great deal of food, and had only taken a couple of spoonfuls for herself. “You need to eat more.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Eating brings the nausea back.” Her stomach was settled for the moment and she wasn’t going to do anything to risk changing that.
He sighed. “You’re really having a rough time of it, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I keep hearing that the worse the morning sickness is the better chance you have of not losing the baby. If that’s true, I’m going to be able to do anything in my last month, because this baby is going to be stuck like glue.”
He smiled at the fact she was able to joke about her intense morning sickness. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
She shrugged. She really wanted a boy who was just like his father, but she couldn’t tell her new husband that. “I don’t really care at this point. A boy would be nice to help with farm chores, but a girl would be nice to keep me company.” She hadn’t noticed any other houses in the area. “Are there any schools around?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. Hopefully we’ll have some someday, but right now there just aren’t enough people.”
“Okay. I can teach our children.” She hadn’t planned on teaching them, but she’d finished school at home and was certainly qualified.
He looked at her, startled. “I hadn’t considered we’d have kids of ours. Just the one you’re carrying.”
She smiled. “I’m sure if we’re married for any period of time, we’ll have more children. It only took me a couple of months to get this one.” She stroked a loving hand over her tiny mound of stomach.
She forced the few bites of food on her plate down her throat. She had to have some nutrition to keep her going. She couldn’t let her baby starve just because her stomach wasn’t feeling well.
As soon as she was finished, she jumped up and started washing the dishes. She hadn’t even been upstairs to look at the bedrooms yet. The downstairs wasn’t as clean as she would have liked it, but it wasn’t bad considering that he’d been a bachelor for so long. “It’s going to take me a few days to get into a routine of cooking and cleaning here. I assume you have chickens, and you mentioned cows. Any pullets? Or just layers?”
“I’ve got a couple of pullets, and enough layers that they can be eaten.”
“What do you like to eat?” She’d known all of Charlie’s favorite foods before marrying him and had made sure to learn to cook them. She just hoped Thomas’s favorite foods were simple to fix.
He shrugged. “I’m not picky. If you make it, I’ll eat it. I’m partial to sweets, though. And chicken and dumplings. If you make me chicken and dumplings, I’ll be indebted to you forever.” He leaned back in his chair and watched her do the dishes, pleased that she was finding her way around the kitchen.
She smiled. “Kill one of the pullets in the morning, and I’ll have chicken and dumplings for you for supper tomorrow.” She’d looked through his food stores enough that she knew he had everything she’d need for them and maybe even a cake for dessert. She enjoyed cooking, and if he liked sweets, she’d make sure he had dessert every night.
“I’ll do that.” He grinned at her. Even if they couldn’t have marital relations, she was pretty to look at, and if she’d cook for him, he’d be happy with her. Relations could always come later once she was feeling better.
He sat at the table while she did the dishes, watching her move. She didn’t say much, but that was okay, because he was used to the silence, and would have gone crazy with a woman who’d talked his ear off all the time.
After she’d finished the dishes, he led her up the stairs. There were two small rooms, one he used, and one he thought would make a good nursery. He pointed to the smaller room. “I thought this could be the nursery, and you can sleep there until you feel better.”
She nodded, thankful he was going to give her time to get over how queasy she was before expecting her to have sex with him. It would make it much easier for her.
His room was small, but there was a large bed and a sturdy looking chest of drawers. In the room he’d dubbed the nursery, there was a small bed and a rocking chair. “This will work nicely for the baby.”
“I’ll make a cradle before it comes.” He’d thought a lot about what he needed to do before the baby arrived. Keeping busy would help him feel more connected to the child.
“Thank you for accepting my child. I know it’s an awkward situation, but I think we’ll get through it.” He seemed to be a good man. He had to be. Otherwise he would have sent her vomit-covered-self back to Beckham. She didn’t know if she’d have been able to do what he’d done.
Walking into the nursery, she made up the small bed with the sheets on the dresser. She would spend tomorrow baking and doing laundry. His sheets looked as if they hadn’t been washed in a while. She was glad she felt strong enough to work, e
ven though she was so sick when it came to food. It would be nice to be able to show him she’d be able to carry her weight on the farm.
He hovered in the doorway for a moment, before saying, “I’ll leave you to it, then. Goodnight.”
She smiled, thankful he wasn’t trying to kiss her again. She wasn’t ready for that. “Goodnight. Wake me if I’m still asleep when you get up, so I can get breakfast going for you.” She’d try to wake herself before he was up, but she was sleeping a lot more now that she was pregnant.
She changed into her nightgown and settled into bed, feeling sure of her decision to marry a stranger for the first time since she’d made it. Thomas was a good man, and he’d be a good father to her child, even though he hadn’t fathered it. She fell asleep, at peace with her life for the first time since Charlie died.
*****
Esther woke to the short knock on her bedroom door. “I’m going to milk now.” The deep voice outside her door was both familiar and foreign at the same time. Who was he?
It took her a moment to remember where she was and why she was there. “I’ll start breakfast.” She rolled to the side of the bed, doing her best to calm the nausea already rising in her throat. She stood slowly and changed into a day dress. She hoped to get a bath after breakfast, because of the vast amounts of vomiting she’d done on the way to the homestead the previous day.
She mixed the batter for pancakes and fried up some bacon, but waited until he came back to the house to actually pour the pancakes. He took longer than he had the night before, and just as she was starting to worry, he came in carrying a large tin bathtub. He set it next to the table and put a huge pot of water on the stove. “I thought you might like a bath after breakfast,” he said by way of explanation. “I’ll give you privacy.”
She nodded thankfully. “I could use it. Thank you.” She didn’t know if he was thinking of how bad she must feel or worrying about how she smelled, but either way, she appreciated not having to carry the tub into the house herself.
Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Page 4