Gently, he grasped her by the shoulders and guided her to a nearby picnic table. When she still refused to look at him or let him embrace her, Steven took her hands, holding on to them when she tried to pull away.
“Tell me what I did wrong, Cherise. Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” He placed her hand to his heart. “My heart beats for you, sweetheart. Only you.”
Cherise couldn’t look him in the eyes.
Bewildered, his patience began to ebb. “I need you to explain this to me, Cherise. What in hell happened to us?”
Her head jerked up. “Steven, please.” She pulled her hand away from his heart. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I messed up.”
Cherise gathered her courage, because it was time to get this over with.
Steven studied her face. Something was troubling her deeply. His fingers itched to run his hands up and down her body, to massage her tense shoulders.
Cherise was biting her lip. Suddenly, she drew in a quick breath.
Gathering courage, Steven thought. But for what?
They sat in stoic silence.
Steven spoke first. “I think I deserve to know why you called off the wedding.”
Her gaze met his and her expression became intense—so intense that he felt a moment’s discomfort before her scrutiny.
Finally Cherise responded. “You’re right, Steven. You do deserve an explanation. I’m going to tell you everything.”
He heard the trepidation in her voice. “I’m listening.”
A slight movement brought his attention to her hands. She was twisting them nervously. “Ten years ago, I was running around with a bad crowd. We did some things I’m not proud of…” her voice faltered.
“Go on,” Steven prompted. He could see a tightening in her body. “I know all that.” Foreboding surrounded him, chilling the air. “Is there more?”
Cherise swallowed hard, then cleared her throat. “Yes …well, one night we broke into a house. It was dark. There weren’t any lights on or anything. The house was supposed to be empty.”
His back stiffened. “What happened?”
“When we got inside, we found a woman inside.” She was watching his face carefully.
Those words made his mouth fall open, and his heart thudded to a stop. It seemed to him that his brain refused to function, except to fill his head with a sickening, dizzying roar.
Shaking his head, Steven tried several times to breathe normally. He resisted the urge to spring to his feet and pace. “Noo—”
Cherise turned her wide eyes on the man she loved, who looked as though he had been struck a horrifying blow. The very agony on his face mirrored that inside her heart. “I did what I could to help her. I called 9-1-1. She wasn’t supposed to get hurt,” she said at last. “No one was supposed to get hurt.”
Feeling his hands tremble, Steven made fists. The words wouldn’t form, but the truth hit him in the face. “You’re telling me that you’re partly responsible for …” He couldn’t say the words.
“For what happened to your aunt.” Blinking rapidly, Cherise finished for him. Nervously, her hand gripped the edge of the picnic table.
This time Steven gave in to the impulse and rose to his feet. He just stood there, staring into space. After a while, he turned around to face her.
Cherise wanted so much to comfort him. Standing up, she closed the space between them. They faced each other, each with their own thoughts, each speculating on the thoughts of the other.
Finally anger fought through the suffocating layer of pain in Steven’s heart to become anguish. “Did you know who she was in the beginning?”
Moisture blurred her vision and Cherise’s hands were shaking badly. “No. It was so dark that night in the house, I didn’t get a clear look at her. I didn’t realize it was her until you told me what happened.” She was talking entirely too fast but she couldn’t pause for fear she wouldn’t finish. “I was afraid she would remember one day. And she did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She recognized my birthmark.” Cherise gazed at him, her wide eyes dark with pain. “When I was trying to see if she was still breathing, she grabbed my shirt and ripped it. I didn’t know that she’d seen my birthmark.”
Cherise raised her face and looked at him with pure, agonized embarrassment in her eyes. She could hear the pain in his voice, and the sound of his heart breaking. “She told me that I didn’t deserve you.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes and she heaved a shuddering sob.
Pacing back and forth, Steven kept muttering over and over, “I don’t believe this.”
With a look of pure agony, he asked, “Why did you keep this from me?”
“I tried to tell you, but you kept saying that the past should stay in the past.” Cherise rose to her feet. “I’m so sorry, Steven. I really am.”
He moved his shoulders in a shrug of anger.
To her dismay, Steven wouldn’t even look at her, keeping his back to her. “I need to get out of here. I need some time to digest all of this.”
When he finally turned around, loathing issued from his eyes, from the hard set of his mouth, from his stance.
She had hurt him deeply. Cherise doubted that she could ever make it up to him. Wanting to comfort him, Cherise reached to touch him; Steven deflected her fingers, and his eyes were like ice chips. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but changed her mind. Tears streaming down her face, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, and I have regretted that night ever since. I will do anything to make this up to you.”
Steven gave her a sharp look. He could not control the trembling of his body. Cherise, the love of his life, was responsible for what had happened to his aunt? He could not believe it. It had to be a mistake. But it wasn’t. He’d heard it from Cherise’s own lips.
Crossing his arms, Steven walked back to the car.
Cherise followed him.
They got in without saying a word to one another. As soon as they reached his office, Cherise got out of his car and walked briskly to her SUV.
Steven barely noticed when she drove out of the parking garage. He was still numb from the shock. His throat turned dry and blood pounded at his temples. His stomach clenched tight like a fist.
She still dominated his thoughts when he returned to his office. Steven slammed a hand on the desk in front of him, frustrated by her betrayal. The pain he felt was real, devastating, acute. His head throbbed with it, his lungs constricted with it.
Steven’s thoughts centered on his aunt. What was he going to say to her or his mother? He probably should call to check on his aunt, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it just yet. He needed some time to sort the situation out himself.
Chapter 21
Cherise went to her bedroom and climbed into bed, curling up into the fetal position, her mind tormented.
How would she be able to begin to live without Steven and with all the pain she’d caused Eula Mae?
The next day, Cherise stayed in bed and refused to answer the phone.
Arlene couldn’t get her to eat anything.
Elle came over, so Cherise assumed that either Jazz or her mother had called her. When she entered the bedroom, Cherise was sitting in the middle of the bed, hugging her knees.
She took one look at Elle, buried her face and cried. Inside, she wanted to die.
Elle eased down beside her. “I take it you told Steven everything.”
Wiping her tears, Cherise nodded.
“How did it go?”
“He hates me, Elle.”
“No, I don’t believe that,” she said. “I’m sure he’s probably in shock, but he doesn’t hate you.”
“You didn’t see his face,” Cherise argued. “It had disgust written all over it.” Unable to restrain herself, she broke into fresh sobs.
“Cherise, I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Steven when he came over to my house looking for you. Give him some time.”
“He will…because he loves you.”
Cherise shook her head.
“Yes, Cherise. Steven loves you. He’ll come around. I know it,” Elle assured her.
“You were always the romantic, Elle. Happy endings don’t always happen, you know.”
“But you will have a happy ending. I can feel it, sweetie,” Elle said. “You will.”
“No, I won’t,” Cherise said sadly. “Our love disintegrated when I told Steven the truth about that night.”
Elle embraced her. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Cherise said. “I should have been honest with him from the very beginning. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently. Then again, his aunt would still hate me.”
Two days passed without another word from Steven.
Cherise began to accept that she and Steven were finished. She flew to Phoenix with her mother just to get away from Los Angeles. “I guess I need to take my house off the market. I’m going to need a place to live.”
“I was hoping Steven would have called you by now,” Arlene commented.
Rubbing her shoulders, Cherise shook her head. “It’s over, Mama. We have to accept it.”
“It doesn’t have to be over, hon. You and Steven can still work this out, if you want to work it out. You two have paid out all that money on this wedding, and then the house is almost ready. You need to have another conversation with this man.”
“Mama,” Cherise stated flatly. “There’s no way to fix this.” She paused to stand in front of the huge picture window. “But you’re right, we do need to talk.”
Arlene had cooked a fabulous dinner, and they talked about the past while they ate.
Cherise wiped her mouth with a corner of her napkin. “Dinner was great, Mama.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I cooked all of your favorites.”
“I know, and I appreciate it. I want you to know you’re spoiling me. If you don’t stop it, I’m going to expect this kind of treatment every time I come home.” Arlene chuckled.
Cherise pushed herself away from the table. She started picking up the plates and glasses. Arlene took them from her. “You don’t have to do this. I’ll do it.”
“No, Mama. Let me do this for you,” Cherise argued. “I need to keep busy, and if I’m doing something, my mind won’t be on Steven or how badly I hurt.”
“Well, I’ll dry. It will go quicker if we clean up together.”
Cherise shook her head. “Just let me take care of it, please.”
“Okay, baby,” Arlene said. She left her alone in the kitchen.
She and Steven were very happy together, and they clicked. Should she just give up without a fight? Cherise wondered as she washed dishes. She knew that he loved her—she didn’t doubt his feelings for her. He also loved his aunt. In times of trouble, her family stuck together. It was the same for Steven. But maybe there was still a chance for them to heal and fix their relationship.
When Cherise had put the last of the dishes away, she went to her mother’s room. “Mama, would you mind very much if I went back to Los Angles?”
Arlene smiled and shook her head.
“I’m going to see Steven,” Cherise said. “I love him too much to just let him go like this. I’m going to talk to him and his aunt. I need to try and make things right.”
“If you hurry, you can make the nine o’clock flight.”
Cherise broke into a grin. “I never unpacked, so I’m ready. I’m going home to try and win my man back.”
Cherise pushed her fears aside and walked into Steven’s office the next day as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
“Good morning, Steven.” She had stopped at Starbucks on the way there and picked up a cup of his favorite coffee, which she sat down in front of him.
“Thanks for the coffee, but what are you doing here?” he asked, frowning.
“I wanted to see you,” she said, taking a seat in the chair facing his desk. “There are some things that we need to discuss.”
“Like what?” Steven inquired.
“How about our wedding and all of the money we’ve paid out in deposits? The house that we’re building. You don’t think any of that warrants a conversation?” she asked.
Steven got up and walked around his desk. He closed the door to the office. “I guess this couldn’t wait until later.”
“We are not exactly on speaking terms right now,” she responded. “There’s a lot of tension between us, Steven.”
“I didn’t put it there,” he said.
Cherise kept her expression blank. She was determined not to let him get to her.
“I will buy out your share of the house,” Steven announced.
She gave a slight nod.
“All of the deposits were nonrefundable, so we can’t recoup them.”
“I will pay you back the money you put down,” Cherise offered. “As you stated earlier, it’s my fault that we’re not getting married.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he said.
“I want to,” Cherise told him. “Steven, I love you, and I’m not that same little girl anymore. I made a mistake.”
“The mistake was not telling me as soon as you realized that my aunt was the woman you attacked.”
“I didn’t attack her,” Cherise said, her voice rising an octave. “I tried to help her.”
“Cherise, I don’t want your money.”
“Then what do you want?” she snapped. “To be free of me? I remember you telling me that you would love me forever.”
He met her gaze straight on. “That hasn’t changed. I still love you, Cherise.”
“Then why can’t we work this out?”
“You don’t have any idea what that attack did to her, Cherise. That’s why they didn’t move back to Phoenix—it was too many bad memories. How could I bring you back into her life? It would be a constant reminder. She may look strong, but she’s not. She’s very fragile. I was young, but I remember that my aunt would suffer anxiety attacks if she had to stay in that house by herself.”
Cherise’s eyes filled with tears. “So there’s no way for us to get past this?”
“I wish there was,” he murmured.
She rose to her feet. “I guess we have nothing else to discuss, then. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Goodbye, Cherise.”
Steven’s heart broke into a million little pieces as he watched Cherise walk out of his life. He still loved her and probably would never stop, but he couldn’t hurt his aunt by bringing a constant reminder of the past back into her life.
He tried to focus on his work, but couldn’t.
Steven decided to call it a day around lunchtime.
He went to his mother’s house because he wanted to check on his aunt.
“Where is Aunt Eula Mae?”
“She’s in her room lying down.”
“How is she doing?” Steven asked. “Did she tell you what happened?”
Rebecca nodded. “How are you?”
“There’s not going to be a wedding,” he told his mother.
“Why not?” she asked. “Steven, you love Cherise, don’t you?”
Steven hadn’t expected that reaction. “Mom, you do know what Cherise did, don’t you?”
“She was a child,” Rebecca responded. “Eula Mae knows that.”
“She was one of the people who hurt Aunt Eula Mae. As fragile as she is, I can’t let Cherise into her life to constantly remind her of that night. It’s not right.”
How could she take sides with Cherise? She was Aunt Eula Mae’s sister. She knows what happened back then, because she’d had to take care of her until Uncle Jerome arrived from Ghana.
When his aunt was feeling better, she joined him and had been there for ten years.
Steven made himself a sandwich but found that he really wasn’t hungry.
The doorbell r
ang.
He was surprised to see Brennen standing on his porch.
Steven stepped aside to let him enter the house.
“Elle told me what happened between you and Cherise. Is there anything I can do to help?” Brennen asked.
He shook his head no. “I still love her, but we have no future together.”
“The mere fact that you love her says otherwise, Steven. Love can overcome a multitude of sins. Trust me, I know.”
“I had this perfect picture of her in my mind, and it’s been shattered. The woman I thought she was would never have done what she did.”
“Steven, did you ever take the time to get to know the real Cherise and not the one in your imagination? We all have our women on pedestals, but it’s because we placed them there—they don’t just jump up there. You have to get to know the whole woman—the real woman.”
“So you think that I love the one in my mind?”
“What do you think, Steven? Your wedding is less than two weeks away and you and your fiancée are at odds with each other. I know that Cherise loves you and she wants to be your wife. She made a mistake when she was fifteen years old. Haven’t you ever made a mistake, Steven?”
“My aunt is haunted by that night. I can’t do this to her.”
“So you’re choosing her over Cherise?”
“I love them both, but I saw the way my aunt grieved. Losing her daughter tore her world apart. I can’t have a constant reminder of that night in my life.”
“Cherise is a wonderful woman, Steven, and if you don’t want her, she will find a man who will love her unconditionally.” Brennen got up and walked to the door. “I’ll see myself out.”
Chapter 22
The Ransom women showed up on Cherise’s doorstep to rally around her. Seated all over the den, they dispensed advice.
“Honey, you shouldn’t give up like this. Don’t you cancel one thing on this wedding,” Ivy advised. “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but you fight for that man. You two love each other.”
Kaitlin agreed. “If Steven wants to cancel the wedding, let him do it. Don’t cancel a thing. Right now, he’s probably not thinking clearly, but tomorrow he may feel differently.”
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