by John Scalzi
“The complete collapse of the Flow, the end of the Interdependency, and the possible extinction of the human race.”
Huma blinked at this. “When?”
“Over the next several years.”
“Where did you get this information?”
“From one of the passengers on the Yes, Sir, who happens to be a Flow physicist.”
“He told you this why?”
“I fucked it out of him.”
“And you believe him?”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t understand it all. But I don’t doubt at least some of it is true. We’re all magnificently screwed, Mom.”
“Where is this passenger now?”
“He’s on his way to talk to the emperox about it.”
“Huh,” Huma said, and then was quiet again, thinking. “Well, is there anything we’re going to be able to do about any of the ‘end of the Interdependency’ shit before I sign our deal with the House of Jemisin two days from now?”
“Not really, no.”
Huma nodded. “Then let’s just focus on the Nohamapetans for the moment. Now. Tell me everything.”
Kiva went on at length about the Yes, Sir’s entire sojourn at End, loudly and at length, with considerable editorial comment. At one point, the two of them were interrupted as Lord Pretar entered the room, which as it happened was his actual office. Countess Lagos dismissed him without even looking at him; he hastily retreated and sat in his own waiting area. After an hour of waiting he eventually got up to get himself coffee.
“You’d be willing to get up in front of the Guild Court of Grievances and testify that Ghreni Nohamapetan ordered a bomb planted on the Yes, Sir and was behind the pirate attack,” Huma asked, after Kiva was finished.
“Of course.”
“And you think the House of Nohamapetan was behind this. Not Ghreni Nohamapetan freelancing for his own personal goals, but acting under orders of his house.”
“I know Ghreni Nohamapetan, Mom. We went a few rounds when I was at university and he’d visit Nadashe. He’s not the most ambitious one in that family. I don’t know what the official House of Nohamapetan position is on the crap he’s pulling on End, but I know he’s not the brains of this operation.”
“You’re talking about Nadashe, then.”
Kiva nodded. “She’s the one I actually went to university with.”
“Are you friends with her?”
“‘Friends’ is stretching it. She tolerated me when I was banging her brother and otherwise we sort of mutually agreed that staying out of each other’s hair would be the best thing for everyone. But I respect her. She’s smart as fuck and if she pushed you down a hole, she’d make it look like you jumped. If there’s anything doing, she’s the one doing it.”
Another pause from Huma and then, “You know that for the past several months, End rebels have been bombing the shit out of things, here and in other systems, yes?”
“No. How would I know that? I’ve been away for more than two years, Mom.”
“They started—or are presumed to have started—by bombing the new emperox’s coronation ceremony. Blew up Grayland’s best friend and almost got her too. And since then, every time there’s a new attack, it’s Nadashe who’s agitating for a military response to the guilds and parliament. And it’s working. They’ve got a troop carrier ready to head down the Flow stream to End. They’re just waiting for an excuse to send it.”
“That fits,” Kiva said. “If she wants it to be sent then she has a plan for it when it gets there.”
“If they go they’d be meant to support the duke, and you said you think Ghreni Nohamapetan is secretly supporting the rebels.”
“Yeah. So? Either he’s got a plan to make the extra military work for him or there’s something going on we’re missing. Or both. Probably both.”
Huma nodded, stood up, and then clapped her hands together. “Well, let’s go find out, shall we?” She exited the office and headed toward the common elevator bank. Kiva got up and followed her.
Two minutes later the two of them were in the lobby of the House of Nohamapetan. “I need to see Amit Nohamapetan,” Huma said to the receptionist.
“Do you have an appointment?” the receptionist asked. Kiva smiled at this and immediately felt pity for the receptionist.
“I am the Countess Huma Lagos, my dear. I don’t need an appointment.”
“I’m sorry, but unless you have an appoint—”
“Child, I want to be very clear about something.” She pointed to the glass door, no doubt with a magnetic lock on it, that separated the reception area from the rest of the floor. “I am about to try that door, and once I’m through it I’m going to Amit Nohamapetan’s office, and I’m going to try the door there. If both doors don’t open for me, I am going to do two things. One, I am going to file suit in the Guild Court of Grievances against the House of Nohamapetan for obstruction of investigation, which as you probably don’t know is a very serious charge and will cost the House of Nohamapetan hundreds of thousands of marks to defend against. And then they’ll lose, at which point millions of marks will flow from their accounts into mine, and you’ll be fired for having caused an easily avoidable interhouse argument. Two, I’ll sue you as well, and let the House of Nohamapetan know I’ll be happy to drop my suit against them if they fire you. And then, between our two houses, we’ll make sure that you never work in any capacity ever again, and that the rest of your life is spent never earning more than the Interdependency minimum benefit, or if you do, that everything you earn above the IMB is garnished and sent to me. And I will spend it on champagne, toasting your misery. Are we entirely clear on this?”
The receptionist gaped and then buzzed the door.
“Thank you,” Huma said, and swept through. Kiva once again followed.
Amit’s office was on a far corner of the floor and large, with impeccable furniture and wide windows that looked out on the Hubfall business district. He and two other people sat in gorgeously comfortable chairs at a table, and all of them seemed surprised when Huma and Kiva appeared in their midst.
Huma pointed at the two who were not Amit. “You and you. Fuck off right now,” she said.
They turned to Amit, who nodded. They fucked off. Huma and Kiva sat in their vacated seats.
Amit looked at them, and then reached over to the table and picked up a tablet, which was flashing a message alert on it. He read it. “Apparently you threatened my receptionist, Countess Lagos,” he said. “Also, that’s not how an obstruction of investigation charge works and you know it.” He tossed the tablet back on the table and considered his two guests. “Now, to what do I owe the genuinely unexpected pleasure of your presence?”
“One, your family sabotaged our product on End,” Huma said.
“I don’t know anything about that,” Amit said.
“Well, I do, and our lawyers will be speaking to yours about that. Two, your family has interfered in my daughter’s ability to conduct business on End by influencing the duke there to illegally escrow and use our revenues.”
Amit glanced at Kiva. “Ah, Lady Kiva. I thought I recognized you. I believe you were friendly with both my sister and brother at one time.”
“‘Friendly’ isn’t the word I’d use,” Kiva said.
“Perhaps not,” Amit said, agreeably, and then turned his attention back to Huma. “Interference of trade is a serious charge, ma’am, so I assume our lawyers will be discussing that as well. I do not need to remind you that the Court of Grievances is very sensitive to being used as a way for one house to intimidate another. So if you bring a suit and lose, the House of Nohamapetan will get lawyers’ fees and treble that in damages. And our lawyers are very good and thus very expensive.”
“We won’t lose. We’re also bringing charges against your brother Ghreni for attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, conspiracy to both, sabotage of a guild vessel, piracy, and extortion.”
“What?” Amit said, less genially.
&nb
sp; “The little fucker planted a bomb on my ship and sent pirates after one of my passengers,” Kiva said.
“And yes, Amit, we have all the evidence we need to make those charges stick,” Huma said. “We have Kiva, and the victim of the attempted kidnapping and murder, and the crew of the Yes, Sir all willing to testify.”
“Plus the security recordings of the attempted murder, and the confession of the hit man, and the recordings of the communications between the Yes, Sir and the pirate vessel,” Kiva added, helpfully.
Huma nodded. “There is that slight complication that Ghreni is at least a year and a half away, which makes it difficult for him to be recalled to stand trial. But with the evidence we have, I think we can convince both the guild and parliament to issue a bill of attainder.”
“And since the little shit was the authorized representative of the House of Nohamapetan on End, we’ll make sure the bill attaches to your house,” Kiva said. She was freestyling off of what her mother was saying, but she was pretty sure she knew what her mother was up to and that this was where she was going with it. So why the fuck not.
“I can guarantee you that the House of Nohamapetan is not engaged in any plan to destroy one of your ships,” Amit said.
“Don’t even try that, Lord Amit,” Huma said. “We all know your brother doesn’t have that much initiative. Neither do you, for that matter. If Ghreni is doing anything, he’s doing it under direction. If not from the House of Nohamapetan, then from someone in the House of Nohamapetan, which from our point of view is the same thing. We have no problem asking the guild and Interdependency courts to widen the scope of the conspiracy charge and investigate you, your sister, and indeed the entire fucking House of Nohamapetan.”
“That might be more difficult than you expect,” Amit said.
Huma snorted. “Just because you’re trying to land the emperox for your spouse doesn’t mean you or your house is immune to justice, Lord Amit. How is that going, by the way? Rumor is she’s notably resistant to your charms. She might even be relieved to find out you and your whole fucking family are being investigated.”
“The attempted murder victim is the son of a very good friend of her father, the former emperox,” Kiva noted, helpfully.
“Oh, well, all the more reason for her not to want to be seen anywhere near your felonious ass,” Huma said, to Amit.
“As a matter of fact I’m seeing her later today,” Amit said, only a little peevishly. “She’s touring our new tenner with me.”
“That’s adorable,” Huma remarked, and clapped her hands together. “Maybe I’ll have one of our people at Xi’an run over a précis of our complaint to her. You know, give you two lovebirds something to talk about while you tour your pretty new toy.”
Kiva was now looking at her mother in open admiration. Huma Lagos had always been someone with whom one would not wish to fuck, and Kiva had years of watching her mother argue and negotiate to draw from for her own skills with both. But it was always a joy to watch her mother deftly and profanely shove assholes like Amit Nohamapetan up against a wall, then reach down and squeeze (or reach in and twist, as the case might be). It was nice when you could look up to your parent, even as an adult, and think, This is who I fucking want to be when I grow up.
Amit sighed, brought his hand to his face, and rubbed it. “All right, Countess Lagos. What do you want?”
“Why, Lord Amit, whatever do you mean?”
“I mean that if you really wanted to bring a suit to the Court of Grievances or to the Interdependency courts, you would have just done it and surprised us with it. The fact you’re here in my office means you want this resolved another way. Fine. Tell me what you want.”
“I want to give the House of Nohamapetan a haircut.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” Amit said.
“It means that I have three things I want from you, and all of them are going to hurt.”
“What are they?”
“First, you fucked with our business. We can fight about it in the court, but you’re not going to like how it turns out.” Huma turned to Kiva. “How much revenue were we expecting from your trip?”
“A hundred million marks,” Kiva said.
“So you want a hundred million marks from us,” Amit said.
“I want two hundred million marks.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You fucked with our product, which was bad enough. But you also fucked with our reputation. This is the cost of fucking with our reputation. So two hundred million marks, in our accounts, in three days.”
Amit looked like he was going to say something else but then thought better of it. “Number two,” he prompted.
“You might be aware we signed a letter protesting your sister’s seat on the executive committee,” Huma said.
“She mentioned something about that.”
“Then it won’t be a surprise that we want her to resign her seat.”
“To be replaced by a Lagos, no doubt.”
Huma shook her head. “No. But literally anyone else would be better than your sister.”
“I’ll tell her you said that.”
“Please do. Three, you tell Emperox Grayland you’ve had a change of heart about the marriage.”
“Come on,” Amit protested. “You’re already claiming my sister’s head. Let me keep mine.”
“This isn’t a negotiation,” Huma and Kiva said, simultaneously, and then looked at each other and grinned. Huma turned her attention back to Amit. “Let’s not pretend that once you’re the consort you won’t still be your sister’s hand puppet.”
“That’s right,” Amit said, sarcastically. “I have no will of my own.”
“No, you don’t,” Huma agreed, not sarcastic at all. “You can work that out with a therapist if you want. But in the meantime, you give up marrying into the imperial family.”
“What if Grayland wants to marry me?”
Huma laughed. “You poor dear. Just, no.”
Amit seemed to deflate a little at that. “And what do we get out of these demands?”
“Nothing,” Huma said. “As in, we say nothing about what you did at End. And we say nothing for what you have planned at End.”
“Really,” Amit said, and Kiva felt a rush of blood to her head. If she had any remaining doubts that the Nohamapetans were up to no good on End, they ended right there. She felt a hand on her hand and recognized her mother was warning her off the outburst she was about to have. She held it in.
“Really,” Huma said.
“And what assurance do we have of that?”
“You want a fucking written contract on that, Amit? Are you that stupid? Understand something here. You hold no cards. Thanks to your appallingly careless brother we have more than enough to bury you, your sister, and your entire fucking house. At the very least you’ll spend the next decade fighting off lawsuits and investigations. At worst, you’ll be in prison and your house will see its monopoly auctioned off. No matter what, it’ll be bad for your business, Amit. And your sister will lose her seat on the committee, and you won’t marry the emperox anyway. This way all you lose is money, and take a gut punch to your ego. And you’ll survive both, I’m sure.”
Amit considered this. “I’ll give you an answer tomorrow.”
“Or, you could give me an answer now,” Huma said.
“Countess Lagos, please,” Amit said. “As you’ve so humiliatingly pointed out to me more than once in this conversation, it’s not entirely my call to make. And I do have a meeting with the emperox on my schedule today. I can’t exactly put it off.”
“Then how about this. In exactly twenty-four hours and one minute from now, unless I hear from you, a sworn affidavit goes to the secretary of the executive committee and to the emperox herself. And I’ll let you and your sister sort it out from there. Fair enough?”
“‘Fair’ is not the word I would use, Countess.”
“You might have thought of that before yo
u began all this nonsense, Lord Amit,” Huma Lagos said, rising. Kiva rose with her. “And before you decided to drag our house into it.” She nodded and left without otherwise saying good-bye. Kiva followed. Her last image of Amit Nohamapetan was of him reaching for his tablet and jabbing in a call code.
“I fucking love you,” Kiva said to her mother as they passed by the receptionist on their way out. The receptionist resolutely did not look their way as they walked by.
“Mm-hmm.” Huma said nothing more while they waited for the elevator.
“Do you think Nadashe will agree?” Kiva said, when they were in the elevator, alone.
“It doesn’t matter,” Huma said.
“Two hundred million marks seems like it would matter.”
“The point of the discussion wasn’t to blackmail the Nohamapetans. That was just a fringe benefit. The point of it was to find out what they’re up to, and to unsettle their plans. Now we know what they’re up to. They’re planning to take over End.”
“Right,” Kiva said. “But why?”
The elevator opened. “Because they know something they think everyone else doesn’t,” Huma said, stepping out.
Kiva processed this while they walked. “You think they know,” she said, to her mother. “About what’s going on with the Flow.”
“They know, or they think they know something else equally big,” Huma said. “They’re risking a lot to position themselves at the ass-end of space, and I think they’re willing to give up a lot to keep it quiet.”
“So you do think they’ll give us the money.”
Huma nodded. They reached the door of Lord Pretar’s office. As they went inside, Pretar stood up and started to welcome them.
“Get out,” Huma said. Pretar swallowed his welcome and marched himself out. Kiva closed the door. “The money is another confirmation,” she continued, to her daughter.
“What if they don’t give us the money?”
“Then I think you and I had better not step out anywhere there’s a direct line of sight between us and a tall roof. But no matter what, we’ve just thrown a spanner into their plans and schedule. It’s going to be interesting to see what they do in the next few days.” Huma settled herself at Pretar’s desk. “This friend of yours. The Flow physicist.”