by Arika Stone
“When I leave, can I take it with me? You keep the house, I take the sculpture?”
Val chuckled. “You have a deal. But right now, is this home?”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “By the way, my parents invited us for dinner at eight.”
The happiness I felt faded with those words. Meeting parents when you’re having a fling was more than uncomfortable. It was a nightmare. Suddenly strings had entered our affair. I was not pleased, but I didn’t think I would be able to get out of it.
I waved goodbye and proceeded down the driveway to the street. There was a waterfront park with a jogging path down the road. It would be perfect for my workout.
I fell into my normal jogging trance, feet rhythmically pounding the pavement, breath controlled, music on. It was heaven to lose myself in my body. It was the alone time I needed. I used it to think about the direction of my life.
Several minutes later, I felt a presence next to me. Someone was jogging close. I pulled out my earbuds and listened. Thump. Thump. Thump. They were mirroring my footsteps. I took a deep breath, contemplating my situation. I was being followed.
I glanced to see who was behind me. Lo and behold, it was Mr. Press. I began to sprint; he wouldn’t be able to catch up. With all my might, I pushed myself to run faster; I needed to lose him.
“Eve, wait,” he called out, but I continued to run, ignoring him.
“Please, Eve, stop.” Mr. Press was running out of breath and was having a hard time keeping up. “I want to talk; I have a business proposition for you.”
I couldn’t help it. I was a sucker for an accent, and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind anyway. I stopped in my tracks and spun to face him.
“Hi, my name is Phineas.”
“What do you want?”
“Please, let me explain. I’m Phineas Chatfield. I work for OMG! TV.”
He extended his business card. I glanced down. The name matched the card. Phineas Chatfield, Host, OMG! TV. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Nice name, gimme a break.” I walked away; I had no time for games.
“Eve, listen.” Phineas followed. “You didn’t return to the hotel. We know you moved in with him. Everyone loves a good romance. Give us an exclusive interview.”
“I find your behavior completely unprofessional. Call my offices. I’m sure you know my number.”
“Your offices won’t grant us one.”
“I wonder why.” I stared coolly at Mr. Chatfield. “I prefer to keep my private life private. Thank you.” I turned to walk home. My jog was ruined.
Mr. Chatfield trailed behind, pleading his case. “People love you, Eve. Rags to riches, a cheating ex, and you rebound with a European megastar. The world wants to see it. We’re here to show it. You can clear the air. This way there is no more gossip. There’s long-term publicity here for both of you.”
“What’s that, so when I return to the States everyone turns nothing into something and a friendship into a three-way love triangle?” I turned on my heels and glared at him. “You’re just looking at the long-term sales value of my life in the press. Romantic conflict sells more papers than presidential elections.”
“No, Eve, you’re wrong. You’re a celebrity, and so is he. What did you expect? To run and hide?”
“Actually, yes, that’s why I came here.”
“Then you shouldn’t have hooked up with him.”
“I never said I hooked up with anyone. For all you know, he is a friend.”
“Then you are confirming your relationship with Valo Ruska?” Mr. Chatfield pushed for answers.
I knew what he was doing; I was trapped. “I’m not confirming anything. Leave or I’m calling the police,” I warned.
I slowly walked back to the house, wondering where my words would wind up. I didn’t want my romance publicized. I'd had enough of it when I was with Jude, and I didn’t want to be constantly chased. It was tedious and tiring. But I didn’t know how to stop it.
I slammed the front door and threw my keys on the table.
Val was still sitting at the island reading the newspaper. “What happened?” he asked.
“I was jogging along the waterfront, and a reporter followed me. They know I’m here. He wants an exclusive interview. I didn’t confirm or deny our status.” I handed Val his business card.
“What do you want to do?” He eyed me inquisitively.
“Run away.” I searched his eyes for an answer, but he had none. “I don’t want us in the magazines. I want privacy. I don’t want to experience what I did with Jude.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the temple. “Either way they follow us. Once the dirt is out in the open, there can’t be gossip.” He paused. “What happened with Jude?”
I stared blankly ahead of me. “We had a publicized relationship and an even more publicized breakup.”
“How long were you together?”
“Several years, on and off, serious for the last two. It wasn’t me in the spotlight. It was him. He ran in that circle, and I entertained it. I thought I could escape by leaving it all behind.”
“Why don’t we give them what they want? If there’s nothing for them to talk about, we won’t be news. We’ll blend in with the background afterward. We’ll take a trip, wherever you want to go.” He kissed me on the forehead again. “I’ll take care of it. You don’t worry.”
“So when they ask our status, what will you say? I don’t even know what we are!” I threw my hands up in disgust.
Val sighed. “I will say we are dating.”
“You can’t do this to me, Val. I’m only here for three months.” I opened the fridge to search for a drink. “Let’s face the facts. I have to leave, and long distance never works. So how do I answer the question? We’re fuck buddies?”
My statement shocked him; he was taken aback by my words. He sat there silently before answering, “You can’t do this to me, Eve. Will you ever give me a chance?” He approached me. “I would do anything for you. I don’t need three months to know I found someone special. You inspire me; you set my soul on fire.”
“Val, you do realize we met five days ago, not five months ago. Five days ago? And we’ve had this conversation three times already. First, it was committing to a time frame here, then to my being afraid to commit to someone, and now you want me to commit to our status. Stop pressuring me to give you answers!” I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm to stay.
“I’ll stop asking when you stop being rational about an irrational thing. Love isn’t black and white. Emotions can’t start and stop on a timer. I felt something for you the day I first saw you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you felt your cock get hard.” I snickered.
“Why are you acting this way?” he calmly questioned me.
I broke free of his grip and walked upstairs to pack. I couldn’t stay here with him. The fling was over. I couldn’t get serious with him. My life was too complicated.
I entered the bedroom and stared at the mussed linens from the night before. I could see the impressions of our bodies on the sheets and pillows. I slid down the door, collapsed on the floor, and began to cry. Why were my emotions getting in the way of things? I was supposed to be strong; I was supposed to keep it all together.
Val knocked softly at the door. “Eve? Eve, please let me in.” He nudged the door open, making enough room for his lithe frame to squeeze through.
He sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms.
He felt strong and safe next to me. I snuggled my head into his chest. His arms were my protectors, my strength in my weakness. With tears in my eyes, I tried to speak but choked up. “I’m sorry. I can’t make you a promise I don’t know if I can keep.”
He held me, softly caressing my arm with his fingertips, waiting for me to talk and release all my fears and anxieties. I knew he was a keeper. I knew I could have it all with him, if I let it be. But something inside held me back.
“I
’m scared,” I started. “Relationships are complicated. My life is fine. I don’t want to change the dynamics.”
“You make excuses.” He kissed me on the head. “You say you love your life yet run away from it for months to reinvent yourself. Why return to a life you’re not happy with? Why not change?”
Deep down, I knew he was right. I began to cry inconsolably in his arms. I couldn’t catch my breath. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Shhh…It will be okay. We will get through this.”
“I’m afraid of being hurt again.”
“Look at me, Eve.” He placed his hand on my chin and gently raised my head for me to look into his eyes.
“I was with my ex, Katariina, for years. We ran hot and cold, but I loved her, and I was faithful to her throughout our relationship. She accused me of cheating on her. But I never did. Love is sacred, and committing yourself to it is the ultimate sacrament. If I am with you, I will be faithful to you. That I promise. There are no other women. There is only you.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to deal with this. “Val, this is going to sound cliché, but it’s not you. It’s me.” I realized my words sounded like the beginning of a breakup speech. I paused, not sure of how I wanted to handle the situation. “I’m not questioning your ability to be faithful; I have no reason to believe otherwise. It’s me. I don’t know if I will ever be able to take the plunge again and commit to a lifetime. Or change my lifestyle to fit you into it.”
“You fit a spa appointment into your schedule. You don’t fit in love. It’s always there.”
“But that’s the thing, Val. I don’t know if I want it there all the time.” I got up from the floor and began folding items, packing them neatly away.
“What are you doing?” he questioned, rising to his feet.
I felt his enormous, six-foot-plus presence hovering over me. “Packing.” Tears welled up in my eyes. I had an extremely sexy, sensitive, thoughtful, and successful man who was offering me a chance at love. He was charming, accommodating, and gave me mind-blowing sex. And I was leaving. And I had no reason why. He was the total opposite of Jude.
“Can I ask you something?” I whispered.
He bent down. “Anything.”
“You’re willing to have your heart broken knowing this may not last past my time here?”
“Yes, absolutely,” he said without hesitation.
“Why?” I asked as the tears poured down my face.
“If we fall in love, my career affords me the flexibility to be with you here or in America. And if we don’t work out, at least I know I tried. I won’t question what could have been the rest of my life.”
I used the shirt I was holding to wipe the tears away. I knew he was right. His words cleared my mind of confusion. “I don’t want to have regrets.”
He inched closer. “Then you’ll stay?”
“For as long as I can. I have to go back in January, though, because I have several events I am contracted to oversee.”
“Of course if you need to return, then that’s what you’ll need to do.”
“Between the three branches, we handle hundreds of events in a month. My life is chaotic.” I looked at him hopefully; his face was dangerously close to mine. “Does this mean we’re dating?” I whispered.
“You tell me, darling. I am yours if you’ll have me.”
I brushed his hair behind his ear. “I would love to be with you.” I closed my eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Our lips locked in a soft, passionate embrace.
He pulled away. “Let me make love to you, Eve.”
It was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. His words made my knees wobbly. As if our past encounters were just a warm-up for the real thing, I kissed him, embracing his words.
He wrapped one arm under my legs and the other around my waist, picking me up. With a quick spin, he laid me on the bed before him.
He stood before me staring deep into my eyes, slowly stripping. His body was perfect, his cock full and erect. He leaned over and slid his hands up my sides, pulling my shirt and bra off of me. Working his way down, he seamlessly slid off my pants.
He leaned farther into me and placed his face close to mine. His hands clenched my hip bones, thrusting my pelvis against his. His fingers felt smooth and silky as they caressed my flesh. “If I could get away with it”—he kissed me on the neck—“I would tell you I loved you.” He kissed the center of my collarbone before drawing his lips to mine. “But since I can’t, know I am giving you my soul.”
And with those words, his body entered mine and our souls intertwined. He took my breath away. I wrapped my arms around his back, drawing him closer to me. I felt his breath, each inhale and exhale, each small shudder of his skin pushing against mine.
Our eyes met; it seemed as if he always watched me, deriving enjoyment from my pleasure. But this time was different; his emotions became one with mine.
His warm, soft lips pressed into mine, opening my mouth, allowing our bodies to further entwine. My body quivered under his touch. My heart fluttered as I rose into him, and suddenly, orgasmic bliss washed over us simultaneously.
He rolled over, holding on to me, bringing my head onto his chest. We lay there silently, pleasure and emotions overtaking us. I had never experienced sex like this with any other man. Every other encounter paled in comparison. All the past times were meaningless and void of emotion. Val made love to me, and while I might deny it, I made love to him.
I propped myself up on one arm. “I wish I had the words to express what I feel for you. What I felt for you during…” I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t.
“Go on, love, tell me what you feel.” His eyes were tender, his voice soft. He smiled as his hand stroked my nape.
I changed the subject. “What did you say before we began? If you could get away with…’”
“I said, ‘If I could get away with it’.”
My heart felt as though it was going to implode; I wanted to hear him say it again. “With what?”
“I would tell you I loved you.”
“So tell me.” Tears began to well up in my eyes. I swallowed hard to keep the ball that was building in my throat down.
His eyes sparkled. “I love you.”
And with those three small words, the tears broke ground, streaming down my cheek onto his chest. “I think I love you too.”
Chapter 10
I buried my face into his chest. “Do we have to visit your parents? Can’t we stay here all night?”
“I don’t want to go either, but between my father already meeting you and the stories in the papers, my mother would kill me if we didn’t make an appearance. I’ll make sure to keep it quick though. I promise.”
“I’m nervous about meeting them.”
“It will be okay. Besides, you have already met my father.” He tried to peel himself away, but I was dead weight. “Why don’t we take a shower?”
“I’m tired. I’ll hop in after you.”
He headed into the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was feeling a bit nauseous; it had been a rollercoaster of a day.
Perhaps my mood swings were because it was that time of the month. I pulled out my phone to check my app. I’d skipped a cycle or hadn’t logged it.
I dialed Vicki. I knew she would remember.
“Do you remember if I got my period last month?” I blurted out before she could say hello.
Vicki laughed. “You got it two days after me. Why?”
“I’ve been emotional all day. I may have ripped Val’s heart out before putting it back into place. Anyway, when was it?”
“Off the top of my head, I’d say the fourth.”
I looked at the calendar on my phone, “I’m late.”
Val entered the room. “You’re what?”
“I’ve got to run. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hung up. It would be my luck that he’d walked in at the wrong moment.
“You’re not on bir
th control?” He placed his hands squarely on the bed, staring at me sternly.
“I have an IUD. But ever since I got it, my periods have been irregular.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” Val opened the closet, rummaging through his clothes. He had a massive wardrobe for a man. He motioned to the bathroom. “You better shower, or we’ll be late.”
There was an air of coldness to his voice, but I didn’t have time to pick at his brain. I needed to get ready. As soon as I stepped into the shower, Val called out through the glass.
“What’s the matter?” I opened the door. The steam from the hot shower flooded the room.
“I have something to tell you.” His face was pensive. He glanced down. “We may not be able to have children. I know this is way ahead of time, but I thought you should know.”
I leaned on the shower door. “No worries. It wouldn’t bother me in the least.”
“You don’t want kids?”
“I honestly don’t care. I’m selfish. I’m not a kid person. I want to travel to strange places on a whim.” I smiled. “Why do you say we can’t have kids?”
“You know, all the”—he stumbled over his words—“the partying, the drugs, the alcohol. I’ve done damage. I know it.”
“That means we can fuck like bunnies all day.” I leaned out and planted a kiss on his lips. “And if we didn’t have to meet your parents, we could fuck like bunnies all night.” I winked; it was my way of telling him it was okay.
He laughed. “We will, but after dinner.” He closed the shower door. “Ahh, Eve, I love you.”
I froze. I knew I’d said those words hours before; in the heat of the moment they had felt right.
I lingered in the shower before stepping out to dress. I needed to change the topic to avoid any love conversations. He was still getting ready in the bathroom.
I stood next to him and toweled off, drying my hair as I watched him in the mirror. It was odd to share close quarters, to do ordinary things together. It was the same disquieting feeling of normalcy I’d felt last night and again this morning. Is this what love felt like?
“It’s a bit strange putting on makeup next to you,” I said as I applied my eyeliner.