The Sanctuary

by Arika Stone

  I gulped. Taking this plunge was more nerve-racking than my upcoming nuptials. I accepted the pen from the woman and glanced down at the paperwork.

  The woman continued, “You need to initial here confirming your surname change.” She flipped the page. “And sign here.” She flipped more pages. “And you’ll need to print and sign your name here for the application for citizenship status based on your marriage. Immigration will be contacting you shortly, but it normally takes a few years before it’s finalized.”

  I glanced at the paperwork. I didn’t tell Val I was taking his name. The last we spoke about it, I told him I was hyphenating my name because of my company, but that was before I had a prospective buyer. If I sold and moved here, there would be no reason for me to keep my last name. I was a traditionalist at heart. I believed married couples should share the same surname. I signed off on the paperwork and handed it back. The woman quickly escorted herself out, leaving me with my family again.

  The three women eyed me for an answer. Sofia began, “I thought you changed your name.”

  “Not legally. I used Eve Lauren as an alias. When I was eighteen, I didn’t have the cash to formally change it, and I never got around to doing it.”

  “Does Val know?” Jenni questioned me.

  “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know I’m taking his name either. He thinks I’m hyphenating it.” I picked up my dress and headed into the bathroom. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to change. Jenni, would you mind giving me a hand?”

  I entered into the small bathroom and unzipped the bag, removing my dress. The V-neck dress plunged to my chest with darts to accentuate my figure before wrapping in several layers around my waist. It flared out in a simple A-line. It was an elegant, minimalistic retro dress that reflected my style.

  Jenni helped me with the little details, zipping me up, helping me put my birdcage veil in place, making sure the dress fell perfectly. I gazed in the mirror. I was a bride-to-be. I’d never thought I would see this day.

  There was a gentle knock on the door. It was Maaria. “Eve, it’s time.”

  Jenni opened the door; it was now or never. Maaria handed me my bouquet. “You look beautiful.”

  I grasped the doorframe. “Is it normal to feel lightheaded?” I asked. Being a wedding planner, I had seen it all, from cold feet to vomiting, but I could never grasp the feeling of how it was to be in their shoes. Now I knew. It was sickening, literally.

  “You’ll be fine,” Sofia said to me. “It’s nerves. It will pass.”

  Sofia held the door open to the judge’s chambers. I stepped foot inside and spotted Val standing before me. He was all I could see. The walls seemed to disappear, and our family faded into the background. Our eyes locked, and we both smiled. He extended his hand, and I took it as we faced the judge before us.

  “You are beautiful,” he whispered.

  “And you are very handsome.” I was giddy like a schoolgirl. His tuxedo jacket, which was opened, revealed a black tee underneath. It was the perfect ensemble for our day.

  The judge cleared his throat and glared at us to stop talking. We let out a soft laugh, knowing we’d gotten in trouble. It was just our way of doing things.

  “We are here today to celebrate the union of Eveliina Laurikkonen and Valentino Ruskanen.”

  Val interrupted, “I thought you changed your name.”

  I shot him a sideways glance. “Not legally. Your name is Valentino Ruskanen?” I whispered. “I thought you were Finnish?”

  The judge looked at us. “Shall I continue?”

  “Valo Ruska is my stage name. I’m Italian and Finnish.” He looked at the judge. “Please, continue.”

  “If there is anyone here who objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The judge scanned the quarters.

  I watched Eero from the corner of my eye. I expected him to say something, but he stood motionless and emotionless next to Val.

  I focused on the judge, who was well into the wedding ceremony. I could recite it off the top of my head. It was standard. I suppose I could have written a different ceremony to make it special, but again, tradition always overruled modern convention for me.

  We turned toward each other to say our vows, and my eyes started to water. I hadn’t expected to be so emotional. I often wondered why couples cried at this point. And standing there before Val, I finally understood what it was like to be in love with someone.

  The judge continued, “Kindly repeat after me.”

  Val shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.” He reached out and held my hand.

  “I, Valentino Ruskanen, take you, Eveliina Laurikkonen, to be my beloved wife, my best friend, and my one true love from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends, I vow to be your faithful partner, always by your side, in joy and sorrow. My home is in your arms. I promise to love you unconditionally, to cherish you, honor you, and obey you for as long as we both shall live.”

  I smiled through my tears of happiness. He’d put me on the spot. I hadn’t written vows for him. I squeezed his hand and whispered, “I didn’t know we were writing our own vows.”

  He winked. “You’ve done this enough. I’m sure you can wing it.” A smile crept across his face. He knew what he’d done.

  I took a deep breath. “I, Eveliina Laurikkonen, take you, Valentino Ruskanen, to be my darling husband, my best friend, and my soul mate from this day forward. I give to you my hand and my heart as I pledge my unconditional faith, love, and devotion to you. As I give myself to you, I promise to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side through the good times and the bad, to love, cherish, and obey you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.”

  I was a teary-eyed mess by the time I finished. Val leaned over and gently wiped my cheek.

  “And the rings.” The judge extended his hand to Eero, who handed them over. The judge handed me Val’s ring. “Will you be repeating after me?” he asked sarcastically.

  “No.” Val was right. We could wing it. Screw tradition. We were anything but traditional anyway.

  I held his left hand in mine. “As this ring is a circle without end, my love for you is eternal. Let this ring be a symbol of my promises to you and a reminder of my devotion. I am honored to call you my husband.” I slipped the ring on his finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

  Val took the ring from the judge and took my left hand. I began to shake. Within a few moments, we would be officially married.

  Val looked at me. “Eve, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side and I will always be a faithful partner to you.” He slipped the wedding band on my finger and continued, “With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon you all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands.”

  The judge continued, “And by the power vested in me…”

  Val didn’t wait for him to continue. He swooped in and kissed me, sealing our vows for eternity.

  We quickly rushed out of the office to the car awaiting us, ready to whisk us off to the restaurant for our reception.

  Val dove into me as soon as the car door closed, kissing me passionately. He pulled away. “Do we have to go the restaurant?” His eyes were full of mischief.

  “Yes. Our family will be disappointed if we don’t.”

  “They’ll understand.” His hand slipped under my dress and up my leg.

  “Stop.” I hit his hand. “None of that right now.”

  “But we’re not officially married until we consummate it.” He laughed and kissed me again, drawing his hand farther up my dress.

  “Aren’t you the romantic type?” I peeked out the window. “Besides, we’re here already.” I pushed his hand out from under my gown.

  The driver opened the door, extending his hand for me to take. “Mrs. Ruska.”

  And then it hit me. It was real. I was officially Mrs. Valo Ruska.

  Chapter 37

 
; As we were leaving the reception, Sofia approached us. “I have something for you.” She handed me an envelope.

  “Thank you.” I kissed her, assuming it was a wedding present.

  “Well, open it.” Her eyes were sparkling.

  I opened the envelope. It contained paperwork entirely in Finnish. I handed it to Val to interpret.

  Sofia continued, “Consider it a wedding gift from your father.”

  Val scanned the documents. “It’s a deed to a house.”

  I looked at Sofia. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “The house was your grandparents’ summer home. They left it to Henri, and when he passed, we took custody of it. It’s yours now, so when you have children, you will have a home for the summer.”

  I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “You should visit when the weather gets warmer. It’s a charming little cottage on the lake.” She hugged us both. “We won’t keep you. You have our number. I expect you to keep in touch.”

  Val looked at his watch. “We haven’t much time, I’m afraid. I have to leave by seven.”

  “Why? I thought you played at midnight.”

  “We do, but I have to meet with reporters. You have Sebastian’s number?”

  “Yes.” I was a bit disappointed we would have only a few hours before he was whisked away again.

  “When you get there, call him. He’ll meet you and bring you in. I won’t have my phone with me.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I imagined this would be the norm for the rest of our life or until he decided to stop touring.

  He continued his instructions. “I put your maiden name on the list.”

  “I didn’t hyphenate it.” I yawned. The stress of the day had finally caught up with me.

  “You kept Lauren?” He sounded surprised.

  “No, I took your name.” I turned to him. “Since I have a buyer, there will be nothing to hold me to my business. Besides I’m a traditionalist. I hate hyphenated names.”

  We arrived home, and Val hopped out to open the door for me. And with a swift swoop, I was in his arms. “Did I ever tell you, Mrs. Ruska, that I’m not a traditionalist?”

  I laughed. “You’re anything but traditional, Mr. Ruska.”

  He kissed me. “Well then, this will be no surprise.” He threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the front door.

  I slapped his back playfully. “I demand you put me down, Mr. Ruska!”

  “If you insist.” He lowered me into his arms. “I love you, darling,” he whispered as he carried me over the threshold. “I don’t believe we had our first dance yet.” He pressed a button on a remote control conveniently located near the entrance. “Will you have this dance with me?” He put me down and extended his hand.

  “I would love to.” I embraced him.

  He leaned toward my ear. “This will never be shared with the rest of the world. I recorded it only for you.”

  “Really?” I gazed at him in admiration.

  “One of the first conversations we shared, we said we wanted to live with no regrets. At that moment I knew you were the one. You inspired me, and I know you always will.” He began to sing the chorus softly in my ear as we swayed in sync.

  “Why don’t we go upstairs?” He placed my hand in his and led me to our bedroom for the first time as husband and wife.

  I entered our room, and although nothing had changed, my stomach fluttered with unease. Val proceeded to remove his jacket and shirt, tossing them on the floor. He caught me watching him.

  “What’s the matter? You look timid.”

  I laughed nervously. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

  He smiled as if he could read my mind. “Turn around. Let me unzip you.”

  I shifted my hair to one side. His fingers grazed my back, sending chills down my spine. He slowly unzipped the zipper, leaned in, and kissed the nape of my neck as his fingers slid the straps of my dress down my shoulders. The dress slipped off without restriction, unveiling my lace bra and matching garter set.

  “Oh, you come with too many attachments tonight.” He picked me up, placed me down on the bed, and slipped off my shoes, tossing them to the floor.

  “Then I’ll wear nothing under my clothes tonight to make up for it,” I teased.

  His hands flew up my legs, quickly undoing the straps that bound me. “You better because, once the show is over, I plan on having you until the sun rises.”

  “Oh really?” I lifted my back to allow him to remove my garter and panties.

  He laughed. “You have no idea how much sexual energy I have after a show. I absorb the energy from the crowd.” His eyes were dancing. “But for now, let me enjoy you as my wife.” His hand wrapped around my back and unhooked my bra.

  I lay there before him completely naked. He rested between my legs and gently ran a finger over my flesh. He eyed every inch of me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “You are beautiful. I can’t believe you chose me. I am the luckiest man alive.” His body inched forward, and I raised my legs to make room for him.

  “Your heart is beating fast. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I whispered. “Just nervous.”

  He chuckled. “You’re precious.” His hand slid down my arm until it reached my hand. He interlaced his fingers into mine.

  His cock pressed into my wetness, slowly entering me. I gasped in pleasure and gazed into his eyes. It felt completely different than our prior encounters.

  He moved slowly, savoring each motion. His eyes never left mine. I could feel each flick of his flesh against me, each poke of his hipbones opening me, each stroke of his penis inside.

  Although it felt wonderful to be so connected with him, I doubted my ability to have an orgasm this way. Instinctively, Val read my body. He lifted my lower back upward, arching it so the base of his penis rubbed the underside of my clit with each stroke, rubbing me just the right way.

  My breath grew shallow and fast. He knew I was about to peak.

  “You are the one, Eve,” he whispered in my ear as my body began to quiver in his arms. Seconds later, he exploded with a gentle groan and final forceful thrust inside of me.

  Rather than rolling over, he lay on top of me and kissed my lips, keeping himself inside. I felt the vibrations of my orgasm squeezing him. As my body calmed, he withdrew himself slowly, waiting for me to finish enjoying the ride.

  “I love you, Eve,” he whispered, holding me tightly to his chest.

  “I love you too, Val.”

  He shifted to the side and ran his hand over my stomach. “Did you take your pill today?”

  “No, I usually take them before bed.” I shifted my head and looked at him. “Why?”

  “Stop taking them. We have no use for them now.”

  “And be pregnant in New York while you’re in L.A.? No way.”

  “Better in New York than on a tour bus traveling from state to state.”

  “I’d rather wait until you’re done touring and the company is sold.” I rolled away from him. “Why are we having this conversation now?”

  “Because we’re married, and we both want children.”

  “We should enjoy each other before we start talking kids.” This wasn’t the right time to start a family. I didn’t want this now.

  “We have nine months for that,” he replied.

  “Oh, you have an answer for everything, don’t you?” I couldn’t believe we were having an argument on our wedding night. “And when you want ‘one of those nights’? You can’t collar me with a screaming infant in the next room. Talk about a mood killer.” I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

  “We’ll set up a nursery in my parents’ house. We can convert my old room.”

  “And if you’re touring when I give birth?”

  “We’ll hire a nanny to tour with us,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “You have this all figured out, don’t you?”

  “No time is ever perfect. We weren’t ready f
or it a few weeks ago, but we were going to keep it. All I’m saying is stop the pills, and whatever happens, happens. It could be a month; it could be a year from now. Conceiving isn’t always easy.”

  “If you want a child so badly, then stop drinking and cut out the drugs. I’m sure it doesn’t help your sperm count.” I shifted away from him.

  “Drugs? And what kind of drugs do I do other than pot with you?” he said, his eyes narrowed, vexed by my statement.

  “Oh please, I’ve heard stories about how much coke you guys do when you tour.”

  “I haven’t touched the stuff in a long time.” He paused. “If this bothered you, why didn’t you bring it up before? I did that shit when I was single, but it’s different now. I have you to come home to.”

  His words stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t the answer I expected.

  “Eve, are you worried about me touring?”

  “A bit.”

  “Please don’t worry. We’re married. I would never do anything to risk my life with you. That was years ago. I’m dull. I usually read on the bus after a gig. Come here, darling. Let me hold you.” He drew me close to him. “There is never a right time. If you keep telling yourself to wait, we’ll never have children. Besides, don’t you want a family?”

  I paused. “I do. But what if I’m not a good mother?”

  “You’ll be an excellent mom. Your focus has been finding a family to call your own. Let us create that. I want to give this to you.”

  He always knew how to persuade me.

  “The happiest times of my life have been here with you.”

  “You’ll stop taking birth control then?” he asked gently, still pushing the subject.

  “I don’t want to be pregnant without you by my side.” My eyes flooded with tears. “I don’t want to do it alone. I’ve been alone my entire life. You have to understand that, Val.”

  “But I would never leave you alone. If it happens before the release, I’ll push back my responsibilities to be with you. If it happens after you sell, then you’ll come on tour with me. I’ll have a doctor on hand for the entire tour. I don’t want to wait for life to pass us by.”

  “If you promise that, then I’ll stop the pill.” I couldn’t believe what I was saying.