He wanted to keep her all to himself, but he knew he couldn’t do this alone.
He grabbed his cell and made three difficult calls.
“So, how are you feeling today, gorgeous girl?”
Ches was fussing… again. As she plumped the pillows behind Livvy’s head, Gabe’s lips twitched when Livvy scowled.
“I’m fine. Will you leave those bloody pillows alone?” She twisted and punched them flat, making Gabe’s half grin turn into a full-on smile.
“You’re braver than me, Ches,” he said. “You know Liv.”
Her scowl turned on him, but even when she gave him her best icy glare, he couldn’t love her more. Two more weeks. That was all they needed before the doctors assessed whether their baby would be viable without the need for medical intervention. They would perform a C-section, and as soon as Livvy was strong enough following the birth of their child, they would start her cancer treatment. She’d had a lumpectomy the week after her diagnosis, but through the regular scans, the doctor had assessed she would still need the mastectomy as soon as possible.
Gabe could tell she was suffering. The dark shadows under her eyes—almost like bruises—were combined with a gray pallor that made his heart clench. The one thing keeping her spirits up was the knowledge that she would soon hold their child in her arms. Livvy had always been a mother—without a child. In his quiet moments when she would fall asleep in his arms, her breathing soft and steady, Gabe would send up silent prayers to anyone who may have been listening. He would promise the earth if they let both Livvy and his child live. He could only hope his prayers were answered.
“I am perfectly capable of plumping my own pillows. I am not an invalid.” Livvy gave his mother a beseeching look. “Tell them, Heather.”
Heather’s hands shot up in the air. “Oh no, darlin’. I’m not getting in the middle of this.”
Livvy turned her eyes to his. “Can you take me downstairs?”
Both his mother and Ches opened their mouths to protest, but he shot them down with a single look. “If that’s what you want, darlin’.”
She nodded. “It is. And can you make me some of your special scrambled eggs?”
Gabe couldn’t hide his delight. Livvy’s appetite had waned of late, making her even more ill as the baby took what nutrients it needed, leaving her weak and exhausted. He moved over to the bed, tossed back the covers, and lifted her into his arms. Ches scrambled to open the door.
Once downstairs, Gabe settled her on the couch and headed into the kitchen. He could hear Livvy and Ches arguing, and a smile crept across his face. Since Ches had arrived a few weeks earlier, she’d been an immense support to both him and Livvy. Fortunately for them both, Ches’s firm had immediately granted her a leave of absence as soon as she’d explained Livvy’s situation. John wasn’t well enough to travel, but he regularly Skyped Livvy, and she always brightened for a short while afterward.
Gabe glanced over his shoulder as his mother slipped onto a stool at the breakfast bar. “You doing okay, darlin’?”
“I’m not the one you need to worry about,” Gabe said as he cracked eggs into a bowl.
“I disagree.”
He turned, bowl in hand, and began to whisk the eggs. “I’m fine, Mom.”
Heather sighed. “No, you’re not. You’re running on empty, determined Livvy won’t see your pain, but you don’t have to hide things from me.”
Gabe’s face crumpled, and he dropped the bowl containing the egg mixture on the countertop. “What if it’s too late, Mom?” His voice was barely above a whisper in case Livvy heard. “What if they get the baby out but then find the cancer has spread and there’s nothing they can do?” He covered his face with his hands. “I can’t lose her.”
Heather was off the stool in an instant, and her arms went around him. “You listen to me. That girl is strong. She must be, given all she’s lived through. And she loves you so very much. She will fight with everything she has.”
He nodded and pulled back, searching his mom’s face for answers he knew she didn’t have. “I hope it’s enough.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
A couple of weeks later, Livvy woke with anxiety and excitement—a strange mix of emotions—rolling through her stomach. She was going to meet her baby later that day. The hospital was performing her C-section at two that afternoon. That was the excitement part. The anxiety part was in relation to what would come next.
The mastectomy. The chemotherapy. The fear of the unknown.
Livvy craned her neck. Gabe remained asleep beside her. The worry lines he wore during the day were relaxed in sleep. Her decision to put their baby first had been so difficult for him to accept, but once he’d seen that she wasn’t going to change her mind, he’d reluctantly acceded to her wishes. But he’d also withdrawn from her physically. Sure, he still touched her, still dropped the occasional kiss on her lips, still carried her when she was too weak to walk far, but it all felt clinical and detached. The passion that had been their mainstay was absent.
As though sensing her scrutiny, his eyelids flickered before his gaze fell on hers. In the depths of his captivating green eyes, Livvy saw fear even though he tried to hide it behind a bright smile.
“Mornin’, beautiful.” His hand cradled her cheek, and Livvy leaned into the rare caress.
“Morning.”
“How are you feeling?”
Livvy shrugged. “Excited. Nervous. Can’t wait to meet him or her and then get on with the rest of it.”
He nodded. She didn’t have to explain any more.
“We’d better get up. We need to be there soon.”
Gabe gave Livvy a hand out of bed and helped her into the shower. Even though she was still four weeks away from a normal pregnancy term, her belly was enormous, which made bending down impossible. But even as she relished the feel of his hands on her body, it reminded her more of a caregiver than a lover and a husband.
She closed her eyes as Gabe squeezed shampoo into the palm of his hand and began massaging the soapy suds into her scalp. After he’d washed her, he made sure she stood directly under the hot spray while he shampooed his own hair and bathed. He flicked off the shower and wrapped Livvy in a huge fluffy towel then slung one around his waist. Despite the cancer and the pregnancy making her weak and exhausted, she couldn’t help but slide her gaze over him. Her eyes flickered over his abdomen before settling on the thin line of hair that trailed from his navel and disappeared beneath the towel.
When her head came up, her eyes met his. The resounding green of his irises seemed even richer, and for a moment, the gaze that settled on hers reminded her of how things used to be. He cradled her face and kissed her. It wasn’t a gentle kiss as had been his recent habit—almost as though he was scared she would break—but a hot, hard kiss, the kind he used to treat her to before she became sick. Her hands clutched his upper arms, and the muscles beneath his soft skin bunched as he ran his fingers up and down her back.
Livvy moaned into his mouth as his tongue tangled with hers. It had been so long since he’d touched her with such raw passion. Like a woman starved of oxygen, she clung to him, returning the strength of his kiss with an intensity of her own.
Gabe pulled back, his chest heaving. “No, Liv.” He held her at arm’s length, which made all the warmth he’d generated leave her body in a whoosh, replacing it with an icy chill that slowly crept down her spine.
Her eyes sank to the floor, and she grazed her teeth over her bottom lip. “I miss you,” she whispered, unable to look at him for fear of what she would find. “I miss us.”
He tilted up her chin. “I’m still here. I’ll always be here.”
“Then why do I feel so alone?”
Gabe blanched, the color leaching from his skin, and his mouth slackened. “I’m here, darlin’. You’re not alone. As long as I have breath in my body, you’ll never be alone.” He tilted his head to one side when she remained tight-lipped. “I want to touch you. I want to make love to
you so very much, Liv, but you’ve been so tired…”
His voice petered out, and his hands fell to his sides.
“I’m not tired now,” Livvy whispered. But Gabe had already walked away.
Gabe picked up her pre-packed hospital bag, and they slowly made their way downstairs. They found Ches in the kitchen, a half-empty bowl of cereal in her hands.
“You guys want anything to eat before we go?” she asked.
They both shook their heads. Livvy’s eyes went to Gabe, who looked pale beneath his tanned skin. He gave her a tight smile and took her hand with his free one. “Ready, darlin’?”
Livvy swallowed down the panic that had bubbled up into her throat. Focus on the baby, not the cancer.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
Ches scraped the remains of the cereal into the trash and slung her bag over her shoulder.
“And so am I. Can’t wait to meet my goddaughter.” Her bright tone and the direction of conversation was clearly meant to distract Livvy. “I am going to be the godmother, right?”
Livvy gave a brief smile. “’Course you are.”
Ches made a dramatic sweep across her forehead with the back of her hand. “Phew. That could have been awkward.”
Livvy’s mood lightened, and she squeezed her friend’s arm. “Thank you for being here. For everything.”
Ches’s answering smile was full of love. “Nowhere else I’d rather be, Liv.”
“Okay, then let’s get this show on the road,” Livvy said.
Gabe led her outside, only letting go of her hand to put her bag in the trunk. It gave her ten seconds alone with Ches, who leaned in and whispered, “You are going to be okay, Olivia Mitchell. Do you hear me?”
Choked up, Livvy could only nod as hot tears stung her eyes. “I wish John were here.”
Ches grimaced. “Not as much as he does, but with his blood pressure being so high, he couldn’t get clearance to fly. We can Skype him later, though, once the baby’s here.”
Livvy brightened. “I’d love that.”
Ches pulled Livvy in for a quick hug before Gabe opened the passenger door, helped her inside, and clicked her seat belt into place. Ches got in the back as Gabe wandered around the front of the car and climbed in beside her. Livvy glanced over at him. She wished that time would stand still and that she could be in this moment a little while longer, with her baby still safely inside her womb and her pre-surgery body still intact. But all too soon, Gabe turned the car onto the hospital grounds and parked outside the labor ward.
Livvy spotted Heather waiting for them on the front steps. She’d had a routine appointment at the hospital and had agreed to meet them there. Livvy waved and tried to put on a brave smile.
Heather walked across to them and opened Livvy’s door. “Okay, sweet pea? Ready to meet your little bundle of joy? Because I know I am.”
Heather’s easygoing manner calmed Livvy’s stuttering pulse. “I’m more than ready.” Livvy rubbed her distended abdomen. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my feet.”
Gabe chuckled and put an arm around Livvy’s waist. “How you doin’, Grandma?” He leaned down to kiss his mother on the cheek. “Everything okay?”
Heather flashed him a broad grin and dismissed his concern for her health. “I never thought I’d be happy with such a title, but I’m thrilled.”
The four of them walked into the hospital, and as they approached the reception desk, Livvy drew on their combined strength as fear of what came after the baby rolled through her once more.
“One step at a time,” Gabe whispered in her ear.
Livvy gave him a grateful smile. He regularly guessed what she was thinking without her having to say the words. Perhaps it was the way that her face tightened every time her thoughts turned dark, or maybe he simply understood her better than most.
After the paperwork had been signed, Livvy was quickly checked in. A nurse showed her to a private suite, which looked more like a posh hotel than a hospital room. Painted in a pale pink with matching bed covers and drapes, the only things that gave away its true purpose were the rails on either side of the bed.
Livvy wandered over to the window. Her room looked out onto the hospital gardens, which were small but definitely provided a nicer view than the parking lot.
Gabe laid her stuff out on the bed, but before Livvy could get to it, Ches and Heather pounced, and in seconds, her things were all safely tucked away in drawers.
Livvy tossed her purse on the nightstand and sank onto the bed. This was it—the moment she’d been hankering for and dreading in equal measure. She couldn’t wait to hold her baby in her arms, but beneath the joy was the nauseating fear of the upcoming mastectomy and chemotherapy.
She hadn’t voiced her concerns to Gabe, but on the rare occasions she was alone, she would worry that he wouldn’t find her attractive once her body was covered in scars. And what about all the side effects? Hair loss, mouth ulcers, the fact that she would lose what few curves she had. They seemed like such ridiculous thoughts to have, given the alien eating her from the inside out, but she couldn’t help it.
As Livvy tried to erase such dark thoughts, Dr. Wilson arrived.
“Hi, Livvy, Gabe.” She shook hands with both of them, and Gabe introduced her to Ches and Heather. “How are you feeling?”
“Excited and a little bit sick,” Livvy answered honestly. Gabe squeezed her arm.
“That’s normal,” the doctor said. “Do you have anything you need to ask me?”
Livvy shook her head.
“Okay, well, relax, settle in, and I’ll see you in the operating room with Dr. Morgan. He’s one of the best surgeons at the hospital, so you’re in good hands.” Dr. Wilson smiled before turning on her heel and leaving the room.
Livvy fiddled nervously with her wedding ring until Gabe sat down beside her and took her hands in his.
“You’ll soon be a mommy.”
His words swept away all the terrible thoughts going through Livvy’s head. She only needed to focus on one thing today, and that was meeting her son or daughter. All the other stuff could wait.
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “And how are you doing? Ready to be a daddy?”
Gabe grinned. “Not sure, if I’m honest, darlin’, but if I can manage a boardroom full of egos, I’m confident I won’t be outdone by one tiny person.”
Heather laughed. “That’s what you think.”
The mood in the room lightened at Heather’s teasing. Livvy took hold of the joyous moment and held on tight. She couldn’t let her cancer detract from the fact that she was finally going to be a mother. This was her time to fulfill her destiny. She was going to be a really good mum, and Gabe would be a wonderful father. He had patience in abundance, but he would also set boundaries, and he had so much love to give. She should know. She’d blossomed under the strength of his love—despite her illness—and their child would do the same.
As a nurse entered the room, pushing a wheelchair, Livvy’s pulse jolted. “Ready to go to the operating room, Mrs. Mitchell?”
Livvy nodded as she blindly reached for Gabe’s hand. She sat in the wheelchair even though she was perfectly capable of walking… okay, waddling. But it seemed that wasn’t permitted. Ches squeezed her shoulder and whispered, “See you on the other side, Mummy Mitchell.”
Heather brushed the back of her hand down Livvy’s cheek. “See you soon. Take care of her,” she said to Gabe, causing him to roll his eyes and give her a playful nudge.
“Yes, Mother.”
The operating room wasn’t very far away, and as the nurse pushed Livvy through the double doors, she directed Gabe to a side room to change into scrubs.
Inside, the operating room was full of people. Livvy couldn’t quite believe that she would need so many medical staff for one operation. As her gaze fell on the familiar sight of Dr. Wilson, her heart rate slowed.
“Do you remember Dr. Morgan, Livvy?” Dr. Wilson asked.
She nodded and
smiled at the gray-haired surgeon that she’d previously met.
“Ready, Livvy?” Dr. Morgan asked as Livvy was helped onto the bed.
“As I’ll ever be.”
After Livvy’s epidural was administered, she was laid on her back and a cloth screen was put up to prevent her from seeing the action below her waistline. When Gabe appeared at her head, Livvy burst out laughing. He looked so out of place in baggy blue scrubs, with his hair tucked into a silly hat, especially considering his penchant for smart, well-fitting clothes.
His lips twitched. “I look hot, don’t I?”
“Oh yeah. I hope they let you take that outfit home.”
He laughed as he took a seat beside her head and wrapped his fingers around her left hand.
“Can you feel that, Livvy?” Dr. Morgan asked.
“Feel what?”
“Good. Okay, we can begin. Just relax and get ready to meet your son or daughter very shortly.”
Apart from a tugging sensation, Livvy felt very little during the procedure. It didn’t stop her pulse from racing or a faint sheen of sweat from dampening her forehead. Gabe’s hand tightened around hers the longer the operation went on. His head snapped up as a sucking noise started, sort of like the sound one would hear from a dentist’s tool.
As he rose from his chair, Livvy dragged him down. “No chance,” she said.
He gave her a soft smile and dabbed a damp cloth to her forehead. She had no idea where he’d conjured it up, but thank goodness he had because she was burning up.
“Fair enough, Momma,” he said. “You in any pain?”
Livvy shook her head as the tugging sensation increased. And then she heard it.
The wail of a baby.
My Gift To You Page 19