by Rod Rees
‘It is not often that I am blessed with a visitor so late at night,’ came a lilting, lisping voice from the shadowed depths of the room.
Gulping back her terror, Dong E looked around to see Imperial NoN Mao waddling across the room towards her. She was reminded of the description of the NoN given by Xi Kang, when he had observed that Mao was not human at all, rather he was a monster that was part monkey and part tiger, cunning and viciousness fused in one NoN. And by the glint in his eyes Dong E was sure that tonight it was the tiger aspect of Mao ZeDong that was in the ascendance.
The NoN stepped daintily up onto the plinth to stand beside the quaking Dong E, towering over the small, delicate Fresh Bloom. ‘ABBA Herself must have roused me, alerted me that the sanctity of the Hall of Mental Cultivation was being despoiled. So come, my little crypto, reveal yourself, untie your scarf from your face in order that I might see who it is so traitorously violating this, the most private of all the rooms in the Forbidding City.’
Dong E had no option but to obey. Mao was a powerful man, and though he was unarmed – since Heii’s betrayal no weapons except those carried by Imperial guardFemmes were allowed in the Forbidding City – she knew his hugely strong hands could break her neck as easily as they might snap a reed. Slowly she unwound the scarf from around her face.
‘Fresh Bloom Dong E: I should have known. The shades of your Ancestors despoil the corridors of the Forbidding City and now you follow their perverse example. I knew it was a mistake to allow you to live, I should have had you snuffed out just as your father was. But no matter, by tomorrow you will be gone; tonight’s escapade will overturn the Empress’s scruples regarding offending the ancestors of the pigEmperor Qin Shi Huang. She will have no option but to forgo the delightful pleasure of fucking the daughter of her vilest enemy.’
What was the NoN talking about?
Mao manoeuvred himself directly in front of Dong E, so close that she could smell his perfume and feel his hot breath on her cheek. ‘I have always rued the day that I was gelded because it has deprived me of the pleasure of taking you, Dong E, of inflicting on you something akin to the pain and humiliation your father inflicted upon me.’ He raised a hand and trailed a finger down her long neck. ‘Oh, how I have dreamed of defiling you. If I were whole and if the Empress had been less superstitious, I would have made such sport of your body. I would have tortured and fucked you in ways that would have wrung screams from your very soul, all the while delighting in the knowledge that the shade of your father watched on helpless.’
It was the way Mao said the word ‘fucked’ and the gleam in his eye that persuaded Dong E to do what she did. There were rumours rife amongst the Fresh Blooms that Mao’s heterosexuality had never been fully eradicated by his gelding, that he spied on the Fresh Blooms and punished any he thought had not been wanton enough when called by the Empress. Mao might be a NoN, but he had obviously not freed himself of the abhorrent and corrosive lusts that nonFemmes were prey to.
‘I know I have transgressed, Honoured NoN Mao,’ she simpered, ‘but I ask you to grant me forgiveness. Show mercy and I will be forever the dutiful and obedient Fresh Bloom.’ Then slowly, artfully, Dong E unbuttoned the front of her jiangs and shucked the dungarees from her shoulders, displaying the nakedness beneath. She was rewarded by a small sigh from Mao. He hesitated, obviously struggling with the commandment that the body of a Fresh Bloom might only be touched by the Empress. Then he lifted his hand and drifted his long and beautifully decorated fingernails over her breast. Dong E stood silent, still and compliant, and Mao ZeDong, emboldened by her submissiveness, began to toy with the dark nipple. She saw the glint of lust in his eyes and wasn’t surprised given that hers was a tantalising, an irresistible beauty.
With a shrug she let her jiangs flutter to the floor to pool around her feet. Now she stood naked before Mao, waiting for the magic of her beauty to cast its spell. She was, she knew, flawless: her skin covered her like tawny silk; her body was perfectly proportioned in an ideal compromise of softness and muscularity, of the svelte and the curved; and her face, which – so she had been told by her foster mother – blended the high cheekbones and strong nose of her mother with the full lips and broad forehead of her father, was truly lovely.
For several long seconds she stood motionless, tempting Mao, and then finally she spoke: ‘I am yours, Imperial NoN Mao, to command as you will. Forgive me for my trespassing and my body is yours to do with as you choose.’
‘It’s been so long,’ he murmured. ‘Your skin … so soft … so wonderful.’
As though dismissive of these oh-so-cautious overtures, Dong E hitched her naked bottom onto the sandalwood top of the desk and stretched back. The message was unmistakable: she was offering herself to Mao.
‘You are very certain,’ Mao ZeDong muttered as he stepped closer to the girl.
‘Never more so in my life,’ Dong E announced as she grabbed one of the pens from the set adorning his desk, pirouetted on her backside and drove the pen, nib first, through the NoN’s neck. The thrust skewered the scream he was inclined to utter and turned it into an incoherent cough. It didn’t kill him. It was the second pen Dong E stabbed into his right eye and deep into his mind that did that. With a reflexive widening of his one remaining eye and a voiding of his belly Mao pitched forward to fall across her lap. With a heavy, wet thud his head smashed onto the desk, his body twitching as he reluctantly released hold on life.
Finally he was still: Mao ZeDong, the second-most powerful person in the Coven, was dead.
‘I have assassinated Guardian of the Imperial Bedchamber, NoN Mao ZeDong.’
‘Good, that bastard deserved killing,’ said Xi Kang. ‘Now put out that fucking candle and let an old NoN get some sleep.’
‘But what am I to do? When his body is discovered tomorrow—’
‘No one will suspect a Fresh Bloom, suspicion will fall on the other NoNs. After what Heii did Wu thinks every one of them is an UnFunDaMentalist crypto. She’ll think he was killed by order of Heydrich.’
‘I was seen leaving the Hall of Mental Cultivation.’
Xi Kang sat up and rubbed his eyes. ‘Now that was careless. Was your face covered?’
‘Yes, but they will know it was a Fresh Bloom who killed Mao and—’
‘Then they’ll execute the lot of you. Wu won’t be taking any chances. By her reckoning, it’ll be better if all two hundred Fresh Blooms are Plucked than one assassin slips through the net.’
‘So what shall I do?’
‘Escape tonight.’
‘Escape? How?’
With a sigh of reluctance Xi Kang swung his legs off his cot. ‘With my help.’
‘You? But you’re just a—’
‘A broken-down old NoN? Is that what you were going to say? Then you should remember, my pretty little assassin, that there was once a time when this broken-down old NoN wasn’t so broken-down and was possessed of a fully functioning dick … and other things.’
He delved under his cot and pulled out a long wooden chest. Wiping off the thick coating of dust, he snapped the locks open and threw back the lid. To Dong E’s amazement, lying inside was a katana sword, long, slim, beautiful and deadly. Almost reverently Xi Kang drew the sword free of its straps and then unsheathed it, revealing the one and a half metres of curved and savagely sharp blade. ‘Wonderful,’ he murmured, as he ran a lint cloth along its length, wiping away the thin patina of choji oil that had been used to protect the blade. ‘Made by Muramasa from the very finest jewelled steel. I call it “Soul Stealer”.’
‘What are you doing with it?’ Dong E asked. ‘Did you steal it?’ She could see from the fine silver work on the hilt and on the scabbard and from the perfection of the blade that thesword was no run-of-the-mill weapon. This was the type of sword only wielded by one of the nobility … by a samurai. It most certainly was not a weapon used by a nothing of a NoN.
‘It was given to me by the Emperor.’
‘The Emperor?’
>
Xi Kang ignored the scorn flavouring Dong E’s question. ‘Yes, His Imperial Majesty Qin Shi Huang, Light of the Kosmos and Ruler of the Demi-Monde, presented it to me to commemorate twenty years of faithful service. Undeserved, of course: it was my lack of insight that failed to identify the auguries indicating that that mad cow Wu was preparing to strike, but perhaps it was part of ABBA’s plan that I spent that year not only chasing the dragon but catching it.’
‘Hah, a likely story! Such a sword would only have been given to one high in the Emperor’s esteem.’
‘But I was! Xi Kang is my NoN name. Before I was gelded I was Prime Minister Wen Tiangiang, Administrator of All the Coven.’
‘You’re Wen Tiangiang? But you’re dead!’
A chuckle. ‘Only partially. By rights my life should have been taken from me when those lunatic HerEticals murdered the Emperor, but they were so frightened of offending my ancestors – many of whom I have in common with Wu – that they spared me. Instead they took away my cock and tried to take away my sword, but there were those in the Forbidding City who took pity on me and hid it … the sword, that is, not my cock. I suppose they reckoned that for a man to lose his penis was punishment enough without him being deprived of both his weapons. Old friends from before the Revolution returned Soul Stealer to me three years ago.’ He winked at Dong E. ‘As the Empress has discovered, there are those within the Coven who are not quite as loyal and dutiful as she likes to imagine.’
‘But why would they give you back your sword?’
A derisive laugh from Xi Kang. ‘Because it was judged that I had a use for it … that I had something worth fighting for.’ He tied a sash about his waist and threaded the scabbard through it. ‘That’s better: I almost feel whole again.’ He turned to Dong E and smiled. ‘So, will you show me the way to the Pavilion of Silent Repose? It’s been many years since I wandered the corridors of the Forbidding City and my memory isn’t quite what it was.’
A frown from Dong E. ‘Why there? Surely it’s better to try to escape through the Meridian Gate?’
‘Presently. First we must rescue this Daemon of yours.’
34
The Forbidding City
The Demi-Monde: 63rd Day of Summer, 1005
It is a sine qua non of virtually all Demi-Mondian thought that only those created from the Living might possess a soul. But typically the TooZian Confusionists dispute this, claiming that the swords they wear, though inanimate, embody the spirit and the soul of the one who wields them.
‘Weird and Wacky Beliefs of the Demi-Monde’: Immanuel Kant, Anthropology Today
There were a thousand and one questions buzzing around in Dong E’s head as she and Xi Kang scooted through the dark, deserted corridors of the Forbidding City, the most pressing of which was how a disreputable old NoN – armed though he was – expected to deal with the two formidably big and formidably powerful guards who stood between them and the Daemon.
The answer in the end was ‘easily’.
Dong E had seen the guards practising with their bamboo staves in the Courtyard of Final Fulfilment and had always thought them incredibly skilled and incredibly fast swordsFemmes, but she had been wrong. Compared with the speed and dexterity with which Xi Kang wielded Soul Stealer, they were mere amateurs. Admittedly, the NoN had surprise on his side and certainly at three o’clock in the morning the guards were not at their most alert, but that took nothing away from the savage efficiency with which he dispatched them. The first guard hadn’t even time to unsheathe her sword before her head had been removed from her shoulders and the second quickly learnt that firing a rifle when one of your arms had just been chopped off at the elbow was extraordinarily difficult. Fortunately, it was a problem the Femme only had to wrestle with for the second it took for Xi Kang to plunge his sword through her chest.
‘I’m fucking impressed with myself,’ admitted Xi as he wiped the smear of SAE from the blade of his sword. ‘You’d have thought that the best part of ten years spent lying on a cot, trying to remember what a good wank felt like, would have slowed my reflexes down a tad. But not a bit of it. Remarkable.’
And it was remarkable, judged Dong E as she stepped over the decapitated body of the larger of the two guards; Xi had fought like a true warrior. Perhaps his story about having once been the famous Prime Minister and warrior Wen Tiangiang wasn’t as fanciful as she had imagined. Pushing her way into Norma’s apartment, she felt herself quite lost in admiration of the old man’s ability in matters martial.
They found Norma lying on a futon in the furthest corner of the room, sound asleep and blissfully unaware of the carnage that had just taken place outside her door. ‘Norma,’ Dong E whispered as she nudged the sleeping girl with the toe of her slipper, ‘wake up. We have come to rescue you.’
‘What?’
‘We have come to rescue you. I have taken the files relating to Project YiYi from the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Unfortunately, to do this I was required to assassinate Imperial Secretary Mao ZeDong and now we must escape the Forbidding City before his body is discovered. PhilosopherNoN Xi Kang has offered to guide us to safety.’
Norma blinked the sleep out of her eyes and studied the NoN carefully. She didn’t seem terribly impressed. ‘So you’re the cavalry, eh? I bet Empress Wu is shitting herself.’
Xi Kang laughed uproariously. ‘I like you, Daemon, there is definitely something of the TooZian about you. And as for the Empress soiling her kimono, you should know that once just the mention of my name meant it was smelly-knickers time … and perhaps it will be so again.’ With that he waved a hand to indicate the two bodies lying in her doorway.
They made a convincing statement of intent, and without another word Norma rose to her feet and hauled on her jiangs and her slippers. Then, with Xi Kang leading the way, the three of them headed towards the Meridian Gate and the Bridge of the Heavenly Divide. It was a tense journey and twice they nearly bumped into ServantNoNs going about their early morning business. But with luck and – so Dong E liked to think – the guidance of ABBA they came to the Meridian Gate unchallenged. With a determined nod, Xi Kang ushered his two charges into what looked like a stable block built next to the Gate’s right-hand tower.
‘Feng Menlong,’ he whispered as he pushed open the door and stepped into the darkness, ‘how can you sleep when your Master comes calling? Are you so absorbed in writing those sickly-sweet odes to unrequited love that you have forgotten your Oath of Imperial Fealty?’ He laughed. ‘And love doesn’t come any more unrequited than when it’s written by a penisless poet. For a dickless nonentity like you to be writing about jade stalks entering precious gateways is akin to an armless man having ambitions to be a juggler.’
‘Nonentity?’ came a protest from the darkness. ‘Who is the piece of dogshit having the audacity to accuse the genius who wrote the Qing Shi of being a nonentity?’ Out of the shadows came an old bow-legged man whose eyes were dull with sleep and Solution. They didn’t remain dull for long: seeing Xi Kang, he dropped to his knees and knocked his forehead down onto the tiles of the stable floor nine times. ‘Prime Minister, forgive me but … but … I heard you had journeyed to meet your ancestors.’
So Xi Kang had been the Prime Minister!
‘I am alive, Servant Feng, and in need of your help.’
‘Anything, Prime Minister, but … but …’
‘There is no time for explanations. Where is the Imperial palanquin?’
‘In the room to the back of the stables, Prime Minister, sir.’
‘Are there three others ready to die in the service of the true Empress?’
The true Empress?
Feng raised his lantern and studied Dong E. ‘Is this … is this …?’
‘Yes, this is Dong E, the forgotten daughter of Emperor Qin Shi Huang.’
It took a moment for Dong E to connect with what was being said. ‘I don’t understand,’ she spluttered. ‘All of the Emperor’s children were assassinated during the fight for th
e Forbidding City ten years ago.’
‘All the legitimate children,’ corrected Xi Kang. ‘The Emperor was a virile man who was inclined to fuck any Femme possessed of a beating body clock. Understandably, his Empress refused to have his by-blows in the Forbidding City, so as soon as you were born I had you adopted. When Wu took control of the Coven, she felt it safer to keep the Emperor’s bastard progeny – that’s you – under her control and had you brought here. Of course, that she could humiliate the shade of the Emperor by making his daughter serve her as a concubine was also a motivation in having you ordained as a Fresh Bloom. Wu is nothing if not spiteful.’
Dong E felt her legs go weak and had to lean against a wall to prevent herself collapsing. ‘I’m the Emperor’s daughter?’ she gasped.
‘The Emperor’s bastard daughter, if you wish to be exact.’ Xi Kang stopped for a moment and then corrected himself. ‘No, that’s not right: as you’re a bastard who’s the only surviving child of Emperor Qin Shi Huang, I suppose that makes you legitimate.’ He caught sight of Feng who was now kneeling on the straw- and shit-strewn floor of the stable kowtowing to Dong E. ‘Oh, do get up. We haven’t time for all that nonsense. We need three more bearers.’
‘Of course, Prime Minister: there’s An Ling … there’s …’
‘Bring them here, but do it quickly and quietly.’
As the old man waddled away, Dong E came to stand square in front of Xi Kang. ‘This is all nonsense, isn’t it … me being the Emperor’s daughter?’