Kiss and Cry

by Ramona Lipson

  Sierra smiled, “I wouldn’t be able to use crutches and carry a tray! Who does she think you are?” Sierra was a cheerleader at our school. She had wavy blond hair that she always wore in braids and the most innocent blue eyes I’d ever seen. She was five foot nothing so she was always the one being thrown into the air during they’re cheerleading routines.

  “Exactly!” I agreed, “Who does she think I am?”

  Carter, my exact definition of tall and lanky snuck up on Sierra covering her eyes. I didn’t see what Tara found attractive in him. I guess I had to get to know the guy to get it. I know she used the comment about ‘I would suck his dick’ just to explain how cute he was, but being Sierra’s friend, it was totally uncool.

  Carter didn’t do anything for me with the exception of his smile. He did have a nice smile. His blond hair and green eyes barely distracted me from blemishes on his face that were the size of moon craters. He gave the word acne a whole new meaning. I could only find one good reason to suck his dick, and that would be to stop myself from having to look at his face.

  She reached behind her feeling him up and said, “Carter!” He kissed her before helping himself to the chair next to her. I looked over to see where Tara was in line, and that’s when I started tripping out. ADAM was walking towards us carrying his tray of food. He helped himself to a seat directly across from me, nodding shyly once in my direction before addressing his best friend who was sitting next to him, “Carter.”

  Tara was heading back to our table, and I caught the wink she sent me from across the cafeteria. She laid the tray in front of me and then rejoined us. I sat quietly and listened to the play-by-play details of Carter and Adam’s last basketball game against Bishop Strachan High School. I caught myself wanting to look at Adam, but I stopped myself on more than one occasion.

  Whenever I did weaken and sneak a peek, I caught him always looking back at me. One time I found him staring passed me and I sensed someone standing behind me. My eyes shifted to Tara who looked at me and said, “Hi Harper.”

  I turned around to see this beautiful girl standing behind me. Her auburn hair was smooth and silky, catching the light at almost every angle, a shoe in for hair commercials. Her eyes, weren’t as perfect because right now they were black with anger. She was holding her books to her chest and tapping her foot impatiently on the ground, “Adam, outside now!” she ordered turning around and storming away.

  Carter looked at Adam, “When are you going to stop taking shit from her? ‘Adam, outside now,’” he mimicked.

  Adam didn’t budge. His eyes searched mine like he was looking for an answer, “You better go,” I encouraged. He collected his books angrily and left to go after her.

  One Month Later

  Mom insisted on coming with me to my M.R.I. appointment. I went to the office to pick up my pass and waited for her at the front door. I was staring at the cars parked in the parking lot, when someone accidentally brushed passed me.

  It was Adam.

  I stopped breathing for a second when I saw him, “I’mmm ss sorry,” I stuttered out an apology. Unable to recover from sounding like a complete imbecile I shifted my gaze back out the door praying for mom to come sooner rather than later.

  “No problem,” he replied cooly. “Are you going to the M.R.I. today?”

  Like Oh.My.God! He remembered. I am definitely in love! Maybe he’s in love with me? We’re in love! Okay so I’m jumping the gun, but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming or at least hoping. I wouldn’t be the kind of skater I am today if I didn’t have dreams and hopes, although I’m injured right now. I have to act cool, way more cool than I feel. I have no time to talk myself down, he’s waiting for an answer. Harper. Harper. Harper.

  “No, I did that already. Mom is taking me to the doctor to find out my results.” I said calmly.

  “Good luck,” he said in a low sexy voice that made my whole body quiver. I didn’t see the aliens anymore because I wasn’t taking the pills for pain, but if I did, they would be doing a happy dance for me.

  “Thanks, there’s my ride,” I said cooly. I took an extra second to balance on the crutches ensuring not to further embarrass myself in front of Adam. I had become quite the professional using them.

  He rushed to hold the door open for me when we simultaneously noticed Harper coming up the school stairs. She scowled at Adam before croaking under her breath for both of us to hear, “Do you like her?” Only thing is it wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement. She walked into the school as if she hadn’t made the comment and left this sense of discord between Adam and myself.

  Speechless, I apologized, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset her.”

  He looked at me and all I could focus on where those pillow like lips reassuring me, “You have nothing to be sorry about.” He walked next to me all the way to my mother’s car and opened the front door for me. I sat down and then placed the crutches into the back seat. Unable and unwilling to look into his eyes. “Thanks,” I said before he stepped away from the car so I could close my door. I could feel him watching us as we drove off.

  Mom turned the radio down, “Is that the boy that brought you to the hospital?”

  “Ya, his name is Adam.”

  “He’s cute,” she commented. “I can tell you like him, and that’s NOT going to happen. You’re not allowed to date boys when you’re committed to your figure skating. I’ve seen it too many times, girls start skipping skating sessions, then they pick up bad habits like smoking. Do you remember that amazing little jumper, Tanya?”

  “Ya, Whatever happened to her?”

  “She had to quit because some boy got her pregnant. The girls who date never finish competing. They either quit, or injure themselves. I don’t want you to be like them.”

  “I won’t be,” I promised.

  My phone chirped while we were in the waiting room. I pulled it out thinking it was Tara, glancing at the secretary, “Is it okay to have this on?”

  She smiled back at me, “It’s no problem dear, thanks for asking.”

  Mom scowled at me, “I’m not on mine right now!”

  “Nobody just texted you,” I snapped.

  Adam: I just wanted 2 wish U good luck again.

  Oh.My.God! He’s texting me. I texted Tara:

  Dalia: ADAM JUST TEXTED ME!

  Tara: Fuck Off! What did he say?

  Dalia: He wished me luck @ the doctor’s office.

  Tara: What did U write back?

  Dalia: I didn’t.

  Tara: Why not? Write him back!

  Dalia: Ok.

  I flipped over to him:

  Dalia: Thanks.

  Adam: Can I C U after U’r appointment?

  Dalia: Sure!

  Adam: Text when U’r done.

  Dalia: Ok.

  Then I went back to Tara:

  Dalia: He wants 2 C me after my appointment!

  Tara: Fuck Off!

  Dalia: Vulgar!

  Tara: & jealous!

  Dalia: Don’t be jealous, Harper.. I have 2 go in now, TTYL.

  Dr. Rankin was our family doctor who had to be in his late fifties early sixties. He had buzzed grey hair and a stocky build, but gave a whole new meaning to the word compassion.

  Once we were in his office, the appointment took just over twenty minutes from start to finish. He diagnosed me with a torn hamstring muscle and said that judging by the story, I must have injured it on the take-off of the jump, the action of throwing my leg forward into the air.

  Doctor Rankin insisted I start physiotherapy immediately and stay off the ice for two more weeks.

  “Two more weeks!” I complained. I missed so much now, and I thought for sure Dr. Rankin was going to give me the green light. I hardly felt any pain when he was maneuvering my leg into various positions.

  He finished off the appointment by warning me, “This could be the end of your career. We’ll have to see how it goes.” I never thought I would hear those words come from his mouth. It was upse
tting to hear, but I didn’t want to fall apart in front of him and my mother. I kept myself together and stayed quiet the entire way home. When we pulled into our driveway, I fished my phone out of my purse and slowly went up the stairs. I texted Tara first:

  Dalia: I have a pulled hamstring. My competitive skating might B over.

  Tara: Keep U’r chin up! No way that’ll stop U.

  Dalia: Adam wants 2 C me. I’ll tell U how it goes.

  Tara: Text Me!

  I flipped to my old text with Adam:

  Dalia: I’m home.

  Adam: I’m picking U up.

  Dalia: Sure, text when U’r in the driveway.

  Adam: K.

  I knew this wasn’t going to go over well, I called down the stairs, “Mom, I’m going out with Adam, AS FRIENDS.”

  Mom didn’t answer back for a minute, “This is going to stop when you start skating again.”

  I took my long brown hair and pulled it back into a tight ponytail. My blue eyes appeared baggy, so I tried desperately to conceal them with concealer but I had no luck. I finished myself off with lip gloss and perfume, wanting to get outside before mom had a chance to embarrass me. My phone chirped when I was already half way down the stairs. I called out, “Bye mom!” and grabbed my things closing the door behind me.

  He pressed the button and his door locks clicked to open. I let myself into his car and fastened my seat belt before I got a chance to admire him. He was wearing an expensive looking black leather jacket with lots of zippers on it and blue jeans. The smell of his cologne made its way to my side of the car and I swooned. His shaggy dirty blond hair was recently taken down to near stubble in length with the exception of the top which was left dangling down into his face. His new look was edgy, but I think I preferred it before.

  I shook my head a bit thinking Harper, Harper, what the hell am I doing with him? Why does he want to see me? Why did I make it so easy for him? “Why did you want to see me?”

  He ignored my question, “Tim Horton’s, okay with you?”

  “Sure,” I answered. It didn’t matter to me where we went, I just liked being with him in his cool car, alone.

  He joined the drive thru line, “What would you like?”

  “Just a medium double double.”

  When it was our turn he ordered, “Two medium double doubles.” He parked the car and turned off the motor. “How was your appointment?”

  “Not good,” I said. I pulled back a section of the lid to open my coffee and pushed it down on the knob. “You cut your hair off,” I commented.

  “Ya,” he snickered. “I did it because I know Harper hates it like this. You’re changing the subject,” he redirected. “What happened at the appointment?”

  “I tore my hamstring. The doctor isn’t sure if this will be the end of my career. I have to go for physiotherapy and stay off it for two more weeks. Then my parents want me to try pair skating.”

  “I’m so sorry,” he said sincerely. He turned the key onto accessories and music started playing in the car. He tore back his lid before taking a drink of his coffee and laying it on the dash. I looked into his eyes and asked, “Does Harper know you’re with me right now?”

  “Its none of her business,” he said. Our faces were so close, I could feel his breath on me. “I broke up with her today,” he informed me quietly.

  “I’m sorry, are you okay?” I didn’t know whether I should be happy that he wanted to see me the same day he broke up with her or not.

  “It was a long time coming, Carter’s been bugging me to break up with her for weeks now.” He took another drink of his coffee and started running his fingers through his hair.

  “Do you always do what Carter says?”

  “No, I don’t.” He removed the elastic from my hair and started playing with my ends, sending cold chills up my spine. He entwined his fingers so they were knotted up in my hair and then he pulled my face to his, “I want to kiss you so bad right now,” he admitted.

  “Then do it,” I goaded, “but if my mother catches wind of this, she’ll kill me and you!”

  “I’m willing to take that chance,” he breathed. His lips slowly, and considerately covered mine. My eyes fluttered closed and every part of me felt his kiss. I was floating. His mouth was warm and welcoming and I could taste the sweetness from his coffee.

  He pulled away to look into my eyes, needing to see my reaction. That’s when I pulled him back in for another kiss. His kisses were becoming demanding. He wanted more from me, needed more. His lips pried mine apart and then his tongue caressed mine. I ran my fingers through his silky hair and the excitement I felt from him caused me to moan into his mouth as our kisses became more frenzied.

  He freed his hands from the entwined hair he had done earlier only to grab fistfuls of it now and pull me closer to him. I couldn’t breath but it didn’t matter. I didn’t want to give up this feeling, it was euphoric, like landing a triple axel for the first time. The adrenaline rush was invigorating. It felt like I waited sixteen years for that one moment with the right guy.

  His phone chirped, he pulled away to look at the screen. I was surprised he stopped kissing me to do it, “Who is it?” I asked, unable to mask the irritation in my voice.

  Adam rolled his eyes, “Harper.” He looked around the parking lot, “She’s watching us.” He turned the key in the ignition and gunned his car in reverse. He threw it in drive and flew out of the parking lot.

  “How do you know?” I said bracing myself. He was driving more recklessly than Tara when the aliens were in the car. He handed me his iPhone and I read the text:

  Harper: U couldn’t even wait a day B4 starting up with some1 else?

  “I think you should turn around and talk to her, or at least text her back,” I suggested. “She has to be really hurt seeing us like that.”

  “She’s fucked up for following me,” he argued. “It’s not my problem anymore.”

  I started typing into his phone. He looked over at me but couldn’t do anything because he was driving too fast. He had one hand on the shifter and the other on the wheel. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m texting her back,” I answered.

  “What? Don’t do that! She’s going to think it’s from me!”

  “Yup, that is the idea,” I teased.

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m apologizing on your behalf for hurting her,” I told him.

  “Don’t send that!” He tried snatching the phone from my hands but I was too quick. “Give me the fucking phone,” he growled angrily.

  “Take me home,” I insisted. His reaction startled me. His lack of compassion for her made me shudder. Would he treat me the same way when he was finished with me? His angry tone after such passionate kisses, was heartbreaking.

  He dropped his speed to the limit plus ten, and drove the rest of the way to my house in silence. When he put the car in park I handed him his phone. He looked at the screen, and he saw:

  Harper: U couldn’t even wait a day B4 starting up with some1 else

  In the area where you type your text, I had playfully typed, ‘Tricked you!’ but never sent Harper any messages. I got out of his car as quickly as I could and scurried to my front door. When he finally realized my prank, I was already in the house.

  One Hour Later

  My mother had given up pounding on my bedroom door or asking if I was all right. The first tears I shed over a guy finally dried up. I pulled out my phone:

  Dalia: Tara, U wouldn’t believe what happened.

  Tara: Details.

  I put my phone on dictate mode and started talking into it. There was way too much to type.

  Dalia: He picked me up after the doctors appointment and we went to Tim Hortons. We stayed in his car. He asked me how it went. I told him that my skating career might be over, I would have to wait and see. The doctor said I had a torn hamstring. Anyway, I was upset and he was really nice to me.

  He told me that he broke up with Harper
. He kissed me. It was amazing. He said he wanted to be the first guy to ever kiss me. I reminded him of my psycho mom and he said he was willing to take his chances. It was so hot. Then his phone chirped. He said that Harper was watching us in the parking lot. He floored it out of there. I said that he should go back and talk to her and he said no way. Then I pretended to text her on his phone and he went ballistic on me. He told me to give him back his fucking phone. I told him to drive me home. I handed him his phone and all I had typed into it was ‘Tricked You!’ as a joke. He didn’t realize that I hadn’t texted her until I was already in the house. He’s called five times I blocked his number now.

  Tara: What an asshole! U totally shouldn’t have played that trick on him though. What do U care how he treats Harper? He’s in2 U!

  Dalia: Bcause I could B next 2B treated like that. I’m so done with him B4 we even started.

  Tara: I think U R overreacting. U don’t know their situation.

  Dalia: He cut all his hair off just Bcause he know’s Harper hates it that way.

  Tara: Ew, how did it look?

  Dalia: Not as good, but he’s still hot.

  Tara: He must still have feelings 4 her, albeit-ve 1’s 2 do something like that.

  Dalia: U know!

  Tara: Totally! We have 2 go shopping 4 the Halloween dance.

  Dalia: Ok, Come over 4 dinner and then we’ll go after.

  Tara: Can’t, mom wants me 2 eat here tonight. Will pick U up after dinner.

  Dalia: Ok. TTYL

  Tara: TTYL

  I used the excuse that I wanted to rest my leg before shopping with Tara for a reason to eat in my room. She picked me up shortly after seven and we headed to the mall.

  Tara and I checked out several stores before settling on overpriced Disney costumes from the movie Frozen. She being the best BFF she was, didn’t dare mention Adam’s name the entire time we were out. She even managed to make me laugh asking me when was I going to meet Ryan while holding a fairy costume. She was righteously firing out subliminal messages.