Kiss and Cry

by Ramona Lipson

  Dalia: 911 Adam :-(

  Tara: Where R U?

  Dalia: Bathroom close 2 the office

  Tara: Ok 1 min

  I went back into the school and waited for Tara in the washrooms near the front entrance. I was splashing cold water on my face when she came in. I was hoping I could hide the fact that I had just finished crying but she noticed immediately, “What happened? Are you okay?”

  “Adam might be breaking up with me,” I blurted.

  Her brows furrowed, “You’ve only been together three minutes! What the heck happened?”

  “God, where do I start? Okay, just before Ryan and his mother came over for Thanksgiving I took a selfie and sent it to Ryan. Then I turned my phone off because we had company.”

  “Ya, so? How did you look?”

  “I thought I looked good, that’s why I sent it. Do you want to hear the story or not?” I said irritated.

  Tara ignored my irritation,“He got mad at you for sending a selfie?”

  “No, he was peeved because I was made up for a guy I didn’t know. He thought I was trying to attract him, and then when he tried contacting me he couldn’t.”

  Tara smiled, “Where you trying to attract Ryan?”

  “No! Of course not.”

  “So tell him. He can’t want to break up with you over a lousy selfie,” Tara argued.

  “There’s more than that,” I continued. “When I went skating with Ryan, our new coach Mr. Hicks said that he wants us to get ‘comfortable’ with each other and whenever we are together in the public eye, we’re supposed to look like a couple. It’s all about creating ‘chemistry.’”

  Seeing where this was leading Tara assumed, “He saw the two of you together!”

  “Worse than that,” I elaborated. “He saw us getting out of Ryan’s Mercedes together. We held hands. I initiated it!”

  “You didn’t! What’s he doing with a Mercedes? Why’s he going to our school? I could bump into this gorgeous guy anytime?” Tara asked shocked.

  “Anytime, I was only doing what Coach Hicks instructed us to do. His father gave him the Mercedes in the divorce settlement. He’s coming to our school, so we have the same curriculum and can study together when we’re at competitions. Mom had it all planned out and never told me. I just found out. I was showing him how to get to the office and then I ditched him to go to homeroom.”

  “Are you sure you only did it because Coach Hicks told you to!” She mocked. “I totally can’t wait to meet this Ryan guy!”

  “Yes, I already told you I hate the guy. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

  “So then what happened?”

  “So when I arrived in homeroom and didn’t find Adam there I was going to call him. That’s when I found all these texts from him that I forgot to read. He told me to meet him at his car. He was furious. Read them.” I handed Tara my phone.

  “Okay, so you get in Adam’s car and then what happened? He must have been super jealous seeing you with gorgeous Ryan in a Mercedes no less,”

  “I tried explaining to him what Coach Hicks expects us to act like a couple, and that I’m not into Ryan even a little bit.”

  “Did he believe you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Girl, Even I don’t believe you!” Tara teased.

  “Seriously, What do I do now?”

  “It’s obvious,” Tara stated simply, “serious ASS KISSING! You have to make him feel like he’s everything to you, or just hope that he comes around.”

  “I guess I’ll be puckering up. Can you bring me home tonight?”

  “Sure, I have to go back to class now. You should too, tell the teacher you were sick or something.”

  “I don’t feel like it.”

  “You better go.”

  “All right. See you out in the parking lot after school.”

  “Sure,” Tara pushed the door open and I followed her out. I went back to class, but I didn’t absorb anything that day, I was too caught up in what happened with Adam.

  “Dinner is ready!” Mom called up the stairs. I took my earbuds out and placed them on the night stand next to my bed. I checked my phone again hoping I would have a text message or email from Adam but it was junk emails and no texts except for one from Sierra asking how my day went.

  I didn’t want to answer the text, because I would have to get into the entire story all over again, and after telling Tara and the endless amounts of times I went over everything that happened in my head, I just wasn’t up for it.

  I walked downstairs and took my spot at the dining room table. Mom and dad went all out making taco’s with extra hot salsa sauce and sour cream, which they knew were my favourite. I loaded four taco’s up and started chowing down on them when I felt expectant stares penetrate me from both sides.

  Mom’s excitement to hear the days events started bubbling over, “Well, how did it go?”

  “How did what go?” I asked knowing perfectly well what she was really asking. “It felt good to be back on the ice mom.”

  She smiled at dad with her, ‘see I told you so’ look. “What did you guys practice today?”

  “Coach Hicks wanted us to get comfortable with each other, so we did a lot of stroking and footwork.”

  “Do you like him?” Dad asked.

  “Who? Coach Hicks or Ryan.”

  “Both.”

  “Ya, they’re okay. Coach Hicks wants us to act like a couple when we’re in public, ‘build up chemistry.’ He said couples do better when the public senses it.”

  “Parter or no partner, you know our rule Honey, no boyfriends.” Dad interjected.

  Mom turned to dad, “If coach Hicks wants them to act like a couple then that’s what they’re going to have to do. He knows how to foster Olympic champions. Have faith.” She focussed her attention back onto me, “How did Ryan look on the ice?”

  If Tara had been the one to ask me I would have said: ‘fuckable.’ Seeing it was my parents, I answered “With or without clothes on?”

  Dad’s eyebrows arched, “Exactly what do you mean?” I noticed my dad’s knuckles turning white while he was gripping his fork. He waited for me to answer.

  “He skates in a wife beater T-shirt and exercise pants.”

  “I’m going to have to come to your practice,” mom giggled.

  “I hardly think his attire is appropriate for a crowded ice arena,” I commented.

  Later that night, I laid in bed disheartened that Adam hadn’t called. The lights in my room were now off and I was staring dispiritedly in the direction of where my phone was charging, hoping it would flash. My parents had already retired to their room and the house was darkened and still.

  The phone flashed and vibrated against the dresser. I scrambled quietly from under my comforter to check it. It was a text from Adam.

  Adam: I’m on U’r Street waiting.

  Dalia: Ok

  I covered my gown with my robe and slipped into my slippers before silently tiptoeing down the stairs. The hardest thing to do was soundlessly opening the front door. Patiently I worked the lock knowing even the slightest noise could give me away. Once I was through the door, I closed it just as carefully. The cold air went right through me as I shivered turning to look for Adams car.

  I dashed to it while he stretched to open the door for me. I slipped in and his dark eyes locked with mine. He didn’t say anything to me at first. His expression was intense. He rested the warm palms of his hands against my cheeks and he pulled me in for a kiss. His lips did light brush strokes against mine until he fisted his hands into my hair and he pulled me in for a kiss that claimed me, “You are mine,” he said with conviction, “only mine.”

  He continued kissing me sliding his one hand to the nape of my neck while the other hand slowly glided down my gown until it rested on me. I’d never been touched there before, but now Adam’s hand was there touching me, and I was receptive to it feeling hot all over. He started exploring me and when he was ready, he penetrated me with his finger
. I moaned into his mouth while his kisses where building passionately. Their momentum made my body quiver. I was truly his.

  The Next Day

  Shortly before I was to leave for practice I received a text from Ryan:

  Ryan: Do U want me 2 drive U in?

  Dalia: Sure :-)

  Ryan: B there in 10

  I rushed around my room collecting everything I needed for that day. Mom poked her head out of their bedroom, “I’ll be ready in a minute.”

  “No need,” I stopped her in her tracks, “Ryan’s taking me.”

  “That’s wonderful Honey, I hope you have a good session.”

  “Thanks,” I said dismissively, “bye!” By the time I was down the stairs, Ryan’s Mercedes was pulling into the driveway.

  I opened the car door letting myself in, “Good morning,” I greeted.

  “Good morning,” he greeted me. He had this raw sexual appeal to me that I tried to ignore, but every time I saw him, he just blew me away.

  He placed his arm on the back of my chair while he turned his body to reverse out of my driveway. I didn’t move.

  He shifted into drive and returned his arm to the back of my headrest like we were a couple or something, honestly the audacity of him!

  I froze on the spot making sure I didn’t lean back into his hand, waiting for him to move it. He didn't. This creepy electric feeling filled the car. His hand intentionally touched my hair. “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Driving,” he answered a bit sarcastically.

  “You’re touching my hair.”

  “It soft,” he complimented.

  “We’re not on the ice, or in the public eye. You can’t just cop a feel,” I admonished.

  “Touching your hair isn’t ‘copping a feel’” he said sarcastically.“If I wanted to cop a feel I would do more than just grab a lock of your hair.”

  “What would you do?” I asked curiously.

  “Grab you and force you to kiss me, and I didn’t do that The coach told us to get familiar with each other.”

  “He didn’t mean that way,” I argued.

  An unsettling warm feeling started coursing through my body. Not only did he not release the lock of my hair he was holding between his fingers, he started playing with it, twisting it around his fingertips. I pulled away from him making the strand slip from his grasp and he rebelliously grabbed more. His affect on me wasn’t anything I could control, I was finding myself get all hot and bothered by him.

  I stared straight out the windshield ignoring him, but I wasn't really, because I loved the feel of having my hair played with and I didn’t know it until then. I closed my eyes for a second to savour it not knowing he was looking at me, but he was, and he could tell I loved it. We drove the rest of the way in silence. He never released my hair, it was like he was proving a point.

  Ryan parked the car and carried both our bags into the rink only stopping when we arrived at the senior ladies change room. He placed my bag over my shoulder, and then opened the door for me saying, “I’ll see you on the ice.” He turned without looking back.

  I was out on the ice first stroking around when I felt his presence beside me. He wrapped his arm around my waist, when we heard Coach Hicks call out, “That’s it you two, start warming up!”

  I could smell Ryan’s cologne mixing in with the scent of cold familiar ice rink, together they were intoxicating. I convinced myself it’s just the rink scent that I liked.

  When we finished warming up, Coach Hicks waved us back, “I want you guys to do side by side double axels, and I don’t want you any farther from each other than six feet.” It was the same jump I injured myself on, only with one less revolution in the air.

  I looked warily into Ryan’s eyes as we skated away from Coach Hicks. He mouthed to me, “We’ve got this,” as he took my hand and we picked up speed, he released me a second before we stepped into our side-by-side double axels, throwing my free leg up into the air and beginning rotations tightly, it felt right. We landed perfectly side by side. I released a deep sigh of relief as I grinned ear to ear with excitement. I did it!

  We skated back to Coach Hicks, Ryan pulling his hoodie off as we arrived, “Good job, but next time I want you guys closer to each other. Try it again.” We repeated the jump but this time Ryan was much more naked and we were a foot closer. “Much Better! I want you guys to practice that at this afternoons skating session, when I’m not here.”

  “Sure,” Ryan reassured.

  Coach Hicks took a drink of his coffee while we waited for him to tell us what he wanted us to do next. “Ryan, I want you to bring her into a right inside edge death spiral.”

  I had seen them done before in competitions so I sort of knew the positions my body was expected to contort into. Ryan nodded as he took my hand preparing for the spin. He assumed a pivot position and held me with his right hand spinning me in large circles as I started lowering my body parallel with the ice. “Lower, lower, lower,” Coach Hicks instructed.

  We practiced that five or six more times, the entire time our coach was yelling at me to go lower. Ryan was encouraging me to follow Coach Hicks instructions, but he wasn’t the one being put in the compromising position. If I were to fall or he were to let go of me, it would be my head on that hard ice surface not his.

  “You’re going to have to work on that, you’re still too high,” Coach Hicks said. The sound of the Zamboni’s motor turned over and the music stopped. Our session finished. “Good job today,” Coach Hicks congratulated us. We rushed to our dressing rooms to shower and change for school.

  When we got back into the car, Ryan’s arm went back on my headrest as he backed out of his spot, but this time he didn’t leave it there. I turned his stereo on and we listened to the traffic and weather on 680 News before Ryan turned it off, “I need you to know something,” Ryan said.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  His expression grew serious and his dark chocolate eyes locked on mine, he grabbed my hand firmly, “I won’t let anything happen to you when we’re together, you can trust me completely. You HAVE to trust me, with lifts, throws, everything.”

  “It’s not something that comes easily to me. I’ve never had to trust anyone so blindly before, but I’ll try.” I promised.

  Ryan pulled into the school parking lot and parked right next to Adam’s Mustang, AGAIN. This time I noticed him in the car, waiting. My heart began crashing into my ribcage at phenomenal rates of speed. The confrontation was inevitably going to happen since I hadn’t built up the nerve or found the time to come clean with Ryan, but I didn’t expect for some kind of confrontation to happen. I wanted to prevent this!

  We all got out of the car at the same time. Ryan came to my side and placed his arm over my shoulders. His muscle was pushing into the back of my neck, and this time it felt uncomfortable but I didn’t move. Deadlocked, Adam stared us down expecting for something to happen. I assumed he was waiting for Ryan to remove his arm, but he didn’t.

  Adam looked at me, “You told me HE knows.”

  “You are?” Ryan asked either of us.

  Adam informed him,“Dalia’s BOYFRIEND!”

  Ryan turned to me,“You told us you didn’t have one. You gave me your word before we agreed to this.”

  “Who’s us?” pressed Adam.

  “None of your fucking business,” Ryan snapped.

  “I didn’t get a chance to tell you,” I tried explaining to Ryan. “Why do you care if I have a boyfriend anyway? It doesn’t bother me if you have a girlfriend,” I argued.

  “It bothers me because I’ve trained my entire life for a chance to compete at this level, and I’m not wasting my time with someone who doesn’t want it just as badly as I do. There’s no room for divided loyalties in this partnership. It has to mean everything to you the way it does me or it’s going to work. So it’s either him or me.”

  “That’s not fair,” I balked.

  Ryan removed his arm from my shoulders and walke
d away not looking back.

  “I warned you,” Adam reminded me. He placed his arm around my shoulders and escorted me to homeroom.

  Contemplating

  I didn’t go in to homeroom, I couldn’t. I had to find Ryan and talk to him. He was being irrational. I stopped dead in my tracks in the doorframe of our classroom. Adam complained, “What are you doing? Why aren’t you coming in?”

  I looked into his eyes, “I have to find Ryan and explain to him how irrational he’s being, our relationship depends on it.” I left Adam to run from classroom to classroom while the static with the national anthem played on the overhead speakers until I found him.

  I waited for the bell to ring and I grabbed his arm as he was leaving the classroom. “Ryan!” I said holding onto his arm as firmly as I could. He didn’t look surprised or happy to see me, “We need to talk.”

  “I’m going to class,” he grunted.

  “Skip it just this once, we need to discuss my situation.”

  He grabbed me by both arms below the shoulders and practically shook me, “It’s not just your situation anymore, whatever you do affects US. It’s our situation. I don’t SKIP classes or want to hear why you should date this guy, that’s your decision. Date him, do what you want, but don’t bring me down with you. I want grades I can be proud of and a chance to stand on an Olympic podium. You might want to ask yourself what you want, what’s important to you. Now, If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a class to go to.”

  Tara rounded the corner on the way to her next class when she nearly bumped into us. She saw Ryan’s grasp of my arms and hesitated not knowing if I needed her help or not, “Unhand my friend,” she ordered half joking but mostly serious.

  He released my arms muttering, “Gladly,” before walking away.

  “Ryan?” she gushed.

  “The one and only,” I answered unhappily.

  “What an Orgasm!”

  “You don’t stand a chance,” I told her. “He doesn’t waste his time with girls.”