by Lori Ryan
“Elle, what is it?”
Her eyes met his, blinking rapidly.
“Elle, what is it. Who was that?”
“It was the radiology department. There’s a shadow on my scan.”
“A what?”
“A shadow,” she repeated as she broke eye contact and began walking back toward the elevators. He could see her closing up on him, her arms wrapping around herself.
He grasped her by the elbow. “Elle, what does that mean?”
She turned and stared past his shoulder, not meeting his gaze.
“Elle,” he prompted again.
She finally met his eyes and swallowed. “It’s probably just the machine. He said it was likely a technical issue, something the first technician didn’t spot when he checked the scan.”
“Or.” He held his breath, going ramrod straight.
“Or,” she said, “it could be something else.”
Something she wouldn’t name.
Shit.
She wiggled from his hold. She was trying to pull away, distance herself. This time he refused to let her.
A calming sense of peace washed over Emmett when he realized his role. This was it. Time to be the person she needed, even though he was filled with his own doubt and anxiety. He pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist, steadying her.
“So, what do we need to do now?” He kept the fear from his voice and focused on getting them where they needed to go.
“They need to redo my scan.”
“Well,” Emmett looked over her shoulder toward the elevator, “let’s get going. I’m starving. The sooner we’re done here, the sooner we can eat, right?” He couldn’t eat any more than he could fly to the moon, but he knew she needed the distraction.
She blew out a deep breath. “It’s okay to be scared, Emmett,” she said quietly.
He nodded. “I know.” He glanced down at her. “But I’m also hopeful. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.”
Elle glanced up at him. “Did you just come up with that?”
Emmett stared down at the woman he loved, shaking his head. “No, it’s from Elsbeth’s diary. She was quite a poet.”
“That’s beautiful.”
“Tell you what, I’ll read them to you when we’re finished here.”
“I’d like that.”
“But first,” he motioned toward the elevator as it opened. “Your chariot awaits, my lady.”
Elle laughed and the sound filled Emmett with the one thing he needed most today. Hope.
Chapter Thirty-One
Do you want to rest?” Emmett asked, sliding the key card into the reader and opening the door to their hotel room.
“Lay down with me?” she asked. She was worn out from the physical and emotional stress of the scans today. All she wanted now was to feel his arms wrapped around her.
“Is that really a question?” He laughed.
When she remained quiet, he sobered. “Of course,” he said. “Come on.” He pulled back the covers on the bed and motioned for her to sit, then knelt and slid off her shoes.
Letting someone care for her was new and sharing her fears was uncomfortable, but she was realizing what a difference it made to have Emmett by her side.
He kicked off his own shoes and slid into the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
The doctor assured her they thought it was nothing more than a shadow, but they would escalate her test. Hopefully within twenty-four hours, he’d said. The fact her doctor had called the medical center directly and asked the staff to expedite the reading worried her, but she told herself it was only because he knew she would worry.
“Do you want something to eat?” Emmett asked, his mouth at her temple, the words a soft whisper against her skin.
“Not yet.” She wanted to say more. To tell him he didn’t need to worry or try too hard. That she was used to the waiting.
She just didn’t know how to say all that and sound truthful, because this time seemed to be anything but usual.
Emmett had taken care of calling her dad and filling him in on what was happening, and for that she was grateful.
“Stay here,” he said. He pulled his arms from around her and pushed out of the bed, crossing the room to grab a leather journal from his bag. He slid back into the bed and settled Elle next to him.
For the next hour, he read entries from Elsbeth’s journal
She lost herself in the sound of his voice, in the memoirs of a woman who lived hundreds of years earlier but shared so much of the same struggles, emotionally. Elsbeth’s strength became Elle’s as she waited. Emmett’s calm voice and strong hands wrapped around her, soothing her in a way she’d never experienced before.
She slept then, with his arms around her and the afternoon light slanting through the hotel room window. She slept while Emmett waited, and watched over her.
When she woke, the sun had gone down and the noise of the city streets below floated through the air. She shifted, looking up at Emmett where he slept. He was still sitting with his head against the headboard, holding her close. It couldn’t be comfortable.
As she watched, she thought about the gift of having him here with her. That’s what he was to her. A gift.
The second chance she’d been given—with life, with love, with Emmett—was nothing short of a miracle. And she would cherish it forever. She closed her eyes again, happy to drift in his arms for the time being. Happy to be in the moment with the man she loved.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Elle pushed food around on her plate, ignoring the way Emmett watched her. She knew he wanted her to eat more, but everything she put in her mouth tasted like sawdust.
“Maybe we should cancel today,” she said. Her doctor hadn’t called with the results of her scan yet and it seemed pointless to go for her fertility testing if her cancer was back.
“Hey,” Emmett said, brushing her arm with his hand as he looked at her. “We don’t know anything yet, but let’s not borrow trouble. The tech seemed pretty sure it was just a mechanical error the first time. Until we know more, let’s go with that, okay?”
She nodded, unable to voice her fears.
He squeezed her arm. She didn’t have to say anything. He knew. “Elle, there is no tomorrow, remember?”
She met his eyes again as he continued.
“There is no tomorrow, no guarantee of anything,” he said. “But we do have each other, and I love you. I want to build a life with you, a family with you. We will face hurdles in this life, it’s inevitable, but we’ll face them together. We won’t put our life on hold out of fear of what’s to come. We have to keep going. You taught me that.”
She smiled, her eyes stinging with tears.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She nodded.
He leaned over the table, his mouth tender as he kissed her.
When he finally drew back, she took a deep breath. He was right. She’d learned there were no tomorrows a long time ago, but she’d let herself forget that when they said they had to redo the scan. Emmett was there now, reminding her of her strength.
They left the restaurant, hand in hand again, solidified that they would face the future together, no matter what.
As Emmett escorted her through the door, her phone rang in her purse.
She stepped back into the foyer, avoiding the crowded city sidewalk and pulled out her phone. As she glanced down, she recognized her oncologist’s number. Nerves jangled and danced in her belly. She looked up at Emmett. “It’s the doctor.”
He smiled, no sign of fear or worry anywhere in his expression. “Answer it.”
She raised her phone to her ear with a deep breath. “Hello,” she said quietly.
Emmett gripped her waist, tugging her closer, rubbing small circles on her back.
“Is this Elle?” her doctor asked.
“Hi, Dr. Sestak. It’s Elle.”
“Great news, dear. The scan is all clear,” t
he doctor said.
Elle half laughed, half sobbed as she nodded to Emmett, trying to convey the news to him. His grin said he got the message. “So, it really was just a shadow on the first test?” Elle asked.
“It really was,” Dr. Sestak confirmed. “It can happen. I’m sorry it happened on your five-year scan. I know you were anxious enough as it was. Usually the tech will see it before they let you leave and they take the shot again, but this one was small. The original tech missed it. It’s one of the reasons we have multiple people read each scan.”
Elle, choked back a sob as her emotions crashed over her. As soon as she ended the call, Emmett had her in his arms, lifting her off the floor in a hug that meant everything to her. He meant everything to her.
As he set her down and pulled away, he cupped her face with his hands. “I love you, Elle Noble.”
“I love you, Emmett Sumner.”
He took her hand and pulled her out the door and toward the curb, hailing a cab.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To your fertility appointment. Let’s go see how we’re going to build our family.”
She laughed, unable to contain the happiness that bubbled up within her. “What does that mean?”
His lip quirked on one side and he leaned in closer. “Let’s go see if we’re making babies ourselves, with a little help from science if need be, or adopting.”
That’s when she knew, he truly didn’t care how they got their family. And neither did she. If they adopted, if she carried a child, if they used a surrogate. They would have a family one way or another, and it would be a family they would cherish and love.
Whatever tomorrow held, they would be okay because they had love, they had each other. They had a lifetime of todays to share together.
Epilogue
Emmett pulled back the curtain and looked out at the growing crowd. It was insane how nervous he was. This was Elle’s performance, yet he felt as if he might barf.
“It’s building up out there, hey?” Max asked, bumping Emmett’s shoulder. “The crowd, I mean.”
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Dude, are you nervous?”
“No.” Emmett lied.
“Hell yeah, you are.”
“Oh, Max,” Elle called behind them, moving forward from the side of the stage. Her gaze caught Emmett’s and she smiled.
He let his eyes trail over her slim figure. He’d never tire of knowing they would be going home together at the end of the night.
She seemed unfazed by Emmett’s perusal as she turned to Max. “Thank you so much for fixing the stage props on such short notice. You are an honorary member of our troupe.”
“Does that mean I get to take a bow?”
“Umm, no.” She laughed then turned toward Emmett. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay? Stay back here.”
“Of course.” He nodded. “I won’t leave you.”
A smile spread wide across her face as his double meaning registered.
“Bye, guys.” She wiggled her fingers and scooted off behind the stage.
“You got the ring?” Max asked.
Emmett glanced around the stage in horror. “Dude, shut up. It’s a surprise.”
“You going to ask her after the performance? Out on the stage?”
“Hell, no. Elle would hate that.”
“Then when?”
“None of your nosy business,” Emmett said, pulling back the curtain and glancing out into the audience again.
“Who are you looking for?” Max pushed up beside him. “Half the town is out there.”
It was the first recital for Elle’s dance academy and Max was right, half the town was here, showing their support.
Emmett scanned the audience. “Aunt Sally’s not.”
“She’ll be here, she probably just had to finish icing a cake or something.” Max laughed. “Why do you care so much about Aunt Sally anyway?”
“No reason.” Emmett let the curtain close. He didn’t want to tell anyone that he’d shared Elsbeth’s old journal with Sally. He had a feeling that perhaps Warner Sumner had been her Emmett of the 1800s. He wasn’t sure they had a chance to reconnect, but he wanted to try.
“Hey, is Devlin out there?” Max asked, taking a turn to pull the curtain back.
Emmett chuckled. “Why are you asking about Devlin?”
“No reason.” Max shook his head and turned back to his brother. “Just curious.”
“No, she’s back in New York, talking to my publisher.”
“Are they going to publish her photo book?”
“I’m not sure. They have a section that publishes coffee table books, so I thought it was worth a shot. I told her if they don’t we’ll find backers. Hell, I might even open up my own publishing house.”
“Are you serious?”
“Why not?”
Max shrugged. “So, did Elle finish her photo shoot?”
“Yeah, she did.” Emmett smiled, remembering how brave Elle had been last week while she’d posed for Devlin, nude from the waist up. Devlin’s shots had been artful and elegant, and the camera had captured every nuance of Elle—from her beauty, to her vulnerability, and everything in between.
“I can’t wait to see it,” Max said but there wasn’t a trace of the leering womanizer in his tone. Emmett liked the way his brothers seemed to be taking Elle in as one of their own.
“It’s going to be a great project. If my publishers don’t pick it up, they’re crazy.”
“Speaking of crazy.” Max nodded toward the back of the stage.
Elle came toward them now, this time wiping tears from her cheeks, her face crumbling into that ugly, happy cry he’d become familiar with.
He looped his around her waist and pulled her to him. He couldn’t wait to get her home.
Her fertility scans had all come back clear. She hadn’t suffered any damage to her reproductive system as a result of her cancer. He wanted to get her home, get a ring on her finger, and start work on their family.
“What’s up, Buttercup?” Emmett asked.
Elle smiled at his question. “I’m just so proud of all my girls.”
“Of course, you are,” he said, kissing her cheek. “You did real good here, Ms. Noble. Real good.”
“While you guys get all sappy,” Max said, “I’m going to grab my seat. Hopefully Maggie’s saving me one.”.
“I’m sure more than one girl is saving her seat for you, Max.” Elle giggled.
“One can dream.” Max winked at her. “Good luck.” He glanced at Emmett. “You too, bro.”
“Bye Max, thanks again.” Elle turned to stare at Emmett. “What did Max mean, wishing you luck too?”
“Are you kidding,” Emmett gave a nervous laugh, “you’ve been a lunatic these last few days. He’s just concerned for my safety.”
“Oh stop.” She smiled, swatting at his chest.
Emmett’s breath caught in his chest. She was stunning. More so now that she was in her element than she’d ever been to him.
“I’m just nervous,” she said. “I want this experience to be amazing for all my students. There’s nothing more thrilling than performing.”
Emmett tugged her closer. “I thought you hated performing.”
“I didn’t hate it. I hated that nervous feeling right before the curtain lifted. But once the music started, it was like flying.”
“Do you miss it?” he asked. “Performing? Being on the stage?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I love watching my students perform.” She nodded toward the stage where her troupe gathered into their final spots before the curtain was set to go up.
“This is like a first performance for you in a way.”
“Yeah,” she smiled, “I guess it is. I’m a nervous wreck for them. More than I ever was for myself.” She leaned her head against his shoulder.
“They’ll be fine,” he reassured her. “They have a great teacher.”
Elle smiled and kissed h
is lips. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For…everything.”
“You’re my everything.”
She turned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tight. “You’re my everything, too.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
“Miss Noble,” someone whisper-shouted behind them.
Emmett dropped his arms and Elle jumped back as if she’d been electrocuted.
“Yes, Jeanette?”
“My bow came undone.”
The young girl twisted to show the ribbon that had been in her hair earlier now hanging loosely around her neck.
“Jeanette, I thought we practiced tying bows.” There was no censure in Elle’s tone.
“I know.” The girl tilted her head with a pout, her lisp making Emmett smile, “but ith hard when ith behind me.” She pointed to the ponytail which was indeed, on the back of her head. “Thee,” she said.
“Yes, I do see.” Elle walked toward the girl, quickly tying the bow. “There,” she patted her on the back and scooted her toward the stage before taking a step toward the other dancers, offering last minute instructions.
His heart squeezed, seeing her with the little girl. He could so easily picture her with a little girl who looked just like her, teaching her to dance, to tie bows. Laughing with her.
He turned to study the eclectic group of dancers. They were all shapes, sizes, ages, colors—and sexes—something Elle reveled in. Some had natural skill, others had two left feet, but Elle said it didn’t matter. The only requirement she had to enter her dance company was a love for a dancing and a passion for learning. If someone couldn’t pay, she found a way to make it work for the particular family.
She worked tirelessly to instill into these young minds that life wasn’t about looking for the flaws in themselves or in others. Life was about learning who they were, who they wanted to be.
Inside her studio she’d placed a huge wooden plaque.
I am perfectly imperfect. And I’m learning to be okay with that.
Life was about discovering their dreams and working hard to reach them. But most importantly, life was best lived in the moment.