by Zoey Foster
Chapter Twenty-Four
Today is the day I graduate and I am one step closer to leaving. I’m growing more and more concerned as the time is approaching. Today Frank told me he is coming to my graduation. I never planned on him going, but when he explained to me Dixon’s weird fixation on me and him thinking he would be lurking around it all clicked. He is not going for me. He is going to see if he can spot Dixon. Since Dixon knows Frank wants nothing to do with me he thinks he would have the balls to show up thinking he would be nowhere near the place. It’s sad how everybody knows. I really don’t want him there, taking from my moment I accomplished all by myself. There is no use in arguing it, though. I won’t do anything out of the ordinary and draw any sort of attention from it. I will do everything possible to stay calm like nothing is going on.
I have hidden money in a locker at the train station along with some clothes and things I want to take with me when I leave. I will be leaving pretty much everything behind. It breaks my heart, just thinking of the stuff that used to be my mom’s. Things I’m so familiar with and having to leave it all to Frank. Also, the one person I am leaving behind.
I have been thinking about Jase a lot. How we parted ways. Just thinking about it hurts deeply, knowing today will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him. I will never feel his strong arms holding me again or his amazingly passionate kisses on my lips. There will always be a spot in my heart that holds the memories. Feeling a little sorry for myself, I get up from my bed and take a long look in the mirror, wishing I was more comfortable with the reflection staring back at me.
The time has come for me to get to school. I leave knowing Frank will drive on his own. I get in my car and crank the engine. I get a couple streets away before I reach for the radio playing the one band that has always been there for me making the hardest of times easier with their words of wisdom: Otherwise. Whenever I blast their music and roll the windows down, letting the wind blow through my hair I feel free, even if for a moment. Their lyrics always put me in a better mood and the smooth voice of Adrian Patrick when he belts out a note still gives me goose bumps. I drive a little slower than I normally would just wanting to make this moment last a little longer, welcoming the calming vibe it gives me.
I’m not nervous to graduate. I’m more anxious than anything. Pushing myself to the bone to close this chapter of my life has been a hard road. The reward that comes at the end has made it worth every tear I have ever shed. I know my mom is watching over me and proud I have made it through the darkest times of my life and that much closer to breaking free. The only thing missing besides my mom is someone to share this with. I might be young and have my whole life ahead of me, but being forced to grow up so fast has been hard. Not having a regular life most teens have has been hard. I never went to prom, never went on a real date. But making my mom proud and doing what she had always planned on doing is the best reward.
After getting to school and getting directions from faculty on where to sit and what to do, I take my seat. I am sitting a couple seats away from Jase. I am comforted knowing he is close and will be cheering me on. We lock eyes and he mouths, “I love you,” to me. I turn into a blubbering mess. I want to say it back to him because I know in my heart I love him, but I still can’t say it. I’m not strong enough for that and it’s not fair to say it back knowing I’m leaving, so I just smile and keep my eyes forward to keep from breaking down and crying. I hold onto the bracelet that he gave me and that I have never removed. It’s the one part of him I will take with me.
Finally, after everybody’s name has been called and the ceremony is over I don’t waste a second looking for Frank. I sneak off the field and make my way to my car, wanting to get out of here and to end this day and get one step closer to executing my plan.
When I get to my car Jase is sitting on the hood of my car. I slow my step and watch him. Wondering what he is doing here, I take a seat next to him and clasp my hands in front of me. “What’s up high school grad? Congrats,” I say solemnly to him.
“So…you’re really leaving huh?”
“Yeah, I leave Friday. I’m getting kind of nervous, but anything seems better than being here. I’ll make it. Don’t worry.” I nudge him with my shoulders, hoping to relieve the growing tension between us. I wish it wasn’t this on edge feeling between us.
“I know you’ll be okay. I just wish you didn’t have to leave. I wish I was enough for you to make you stay.”
“Jase, this has nothing to do with you, you know that. I have to leave. You know why.” He stands up and grabs my hand and hugs me so tight I feel all the air rush out of my lungs. Wanting to remember this moment forever, I grip him tighter hating that this will be the last time I see him. I’m scared for my heart to let go.
When I finally know it’s time to let go, I back up and rise up on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek. I wouldn’t want to get caught by Frank on my last day here. Moisture fills my eyes and finally I don’t care if he sees me weak. I want him to know what he means to me. How he has had the most amazing impact on my life. He has made me stronger and made the last couple of months the best months I have ever had. I just hope he believed me when I told him I forgave him because I truly do. I owe him so much. He pushed me when I needed it and made me do things I would’ve never normally done and I actually enjoyed them. He cared for me when nobody else would. God, I’m going to miss him something awful. The only thing keeping me going is knowing he got to know the real me and wants me to be better. How he was always there for me in the roughest times, not having to be there. Always being there to save me from myself and some horrible things I have almost done to myself. He has saved me and I hope he knows it’s something I will never let myself forget.
Walking away is the hardest when your gut is telling you to stay. I force my feet to move and hop in my car and give him a small wave and look forward as I leave the lot, our lot, for the last time.
I make it home to an empty house, wondering where Frank is. He never goes anywhere, so it puts me on high alert. Frank isn’t much of a human being to me, but I at least feel safer when he is in the house, knowing he would protect his stuff with his life. He would die trying.
I make my way to the kitchen, grab a snack, and head to my room to go over my plans. I need to have these down pat before I even attempt them. I am working with times from the bus station coinciding with times at the train station. I spent the whole night last night making a schedule. I figured it’s easier to trade from bus to train and maybe a cab once in a while to throw anybody off if I was being followed.
Every minute is planned. First, I plan on stopping and buying a dump phone and leaving mine in a trash can not close to the bus station, so If Frank decides to track my phone and have me picked up it will show I am somewhere else. I have to make it quick as I have to buy the new phone and input a number and information I have saved on my SD card. I have some pictures of injuries caused by Frank on here. Also, some recorded conversations. I don’t know why I saved them. I mean, I know I should have used them by now, but I was just too scared to ever say anything knowing he has connections deep in the system. Using them never seemed like an option for me.
Once I get all the loose ends tied up, I retire to my bed and try to get a little sleep. Sleep and I haven’t been friends lately. I haven’t been able to have my mind rest. Everything has been running through it. Jase, my mom, and hoping I am living up to what she would want from me. Making her proud is my biggest worry. Also the growing issues between Frank and Dixon even though we haven’t heard a word from him since I delivered the package that night. It’s like he just dropped off the face of the planet.
Just as I am dozing off I hear a beep from my phone. I blindly reach over and feel for it. Once I feel it, I grab it and check it. It’s from Jase.
Jase: Hi
Me: Hi. What’s going on?
Jase: Nothing. I just miss you. Wanted to make sure you are ok.
Me: I’m good. Just tired. Almost ready
to fall asleep. U?
Jase: Could be better. Can I see you one last time before you leave? Please :(
Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
I sit there wondering why he wants to put himself through more. We said our goodbyes. There isn’t really anything more to say.
Jase: Please, just for a minute. I have something for you.
Me: You didn’t need to get me anything. OK, we can meet, but it will be late. But just for a minute.
Jase: Ok, let me know when and where. I will be there.
Me: Ok, see ya.
I drop my phone on the bed next to me, too tired to even reach to put it back on my night stand. I think about what Jase could have for me. Nothing comes to mind and while I can’t get it out of my head, I drift off to sleep. Anticipating my big day.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I spent most of the day in the house as I usually do. I have only gone outside twice. Once was to take the trash out and the other time was to go get a phone as fast as I could and stash it at the bus depot lockers where I’m hiding all my stuff. Everything is ready for me to go. I’m just waiting for the time to hit. I have never been so ready to leave than right now. My legs are bouncing with the adrenalin pumping through my body.
I haven’t seen Frank since my graduation. It throws me off a bit. He hasn’t been sending me out to do things or spoken a word to me. It’s like he is avoiding me. Normally that would be something I would have prayed for, it’s putting me on edge. I need things to be as routine as possible. I have made a lot of unnecessary bathroom trips just to see if I overhear anything. No luck, though.
Getting ready to leave everything behind creeps up on me. I’m leaving in ten minutes. I slip out of my room one more time to grab a water, and I see nothing. I know where every single camera is in and outside of this house. I know I have to climb out my window and move toward the shadows by the fence to go unseen. I don’t, however, make it back to my room without seeing Frank. I get startled when I round the corner and he is standing by my door.
“Maddison, what are you doing?” he asks.
I’m scared he has figured something out. “Nothing, just getting a water.”
“Stay in your room and don’t come out. Dixon has been spotted and I don’t want you going anywhere bringing any attention to us right now. You’ve messed up once and I won’t let it happen again. You get me? Stay inside. I’m not asking you,” he spits out, a little shaky.
The nervousness in his voice freaks me out. So does not knowing if Dixon is lurking around waiting for me to leave the house, but I don’t care anymore. I have to leave and I don’t care what I am risking. I need out! “Sure Frank,” is all I say as I head back to my room.
The second I make it to my room, I don’t feel so comfortable leaving now. I texted Jase earlier and let him know to meet me at the park at midnight. Since I have about an hour it gives me plenty of time to act like I’m sleeping and not do anything to draw attention to myself.
I check my phone. It’s just about midnight, so I slide the window slowly and quietly. Once the window is open I carefully place my legs out. I drop down to the ground and sneak off into the darkness, making sure to avoid triggering the sensor lights. That’s the one thing I can’t risk going on. After swiftly getting past all the sensors and keeping out of the way of the cameras I make it to my car and take off before I can even buckle up. I can’t waste a second being in front of the house.
The second I am driving away a small weight is lifted because I’m so much closer to being out of here. I think to myself, finally, this is the best birthday gift I could ever give to myself. All birthdays have sucked since my mom has been gone. They weren’t even the greatest when she was here due to the control Frank had over her. But this birthday…this one is the best yet.
I pull into the empty parking lot a couple of minutes later. The park is pitch black. Jase isn’t here yet, which is odd since he’s never late. I stay in my car with the doors locked and send a text to Jase.
Me: I’m here waiting for you. Hurry up. I have got to get going. This is risky.
I wait a couple of minutes, but don’t get a message back. Something doesn’t feel right. He would never not show up. I look around and see nothing, so I sit there and wait. I am feeling antsy not getting a response back from him. I decide to wait a little longer. When I get nothing back I look around, but see nothing. I get out and look around, hoping Jase will be here any moment.
Like a flash of light a hand goes over my mouth. I struggle to get free. I’m being lifted and dragged away from my car. I’m trying to get a grip with my feet, but I’m being forced backwards. The more I fight the tighter the hand around my mouth gets. His hand is over my nose and I’m struggling for air. An all-too-familiar feeling takes over. It makes me fight harder. This can’t be happening again. I should have never stopped here. I could have been on my way to being free right now.
Suddenly, he speaks and I don’t even need to hear him to know who it is.
“He’s not coming for you. I made sure it would take him longer to get here,” Dixon says quietly in my ear.
Oh no, Jase. What did Dixon do to him? I can’t even worry about myself because now all I can think about is what Dixon did to Jase.
“Now look, this can go the easy way or this can go the hard way. I suggest you don’t fight me or things will go south. Do you understand?”
I nod my head. My body is shaking out of control. I feel like I’m floating and my vision starts to blur. I am about to lose consciousness. I can’t even brace myself for anything because everything goes pitch black.
****
I don’t know how long I have been out. I think my eyes are open, but everything is so dark, making it impossible to know where I am or what time it is. I quickly remember him saying something about Jase. I know I shouldn’t make any sudden movements indicating I’m awake. The longer I can keep him away from me the better. Survival mode taking over, I breathe slowly keeping my heart rate as slow as possible. My mind is thinking a million thoughts as to how to get out of here alive. I just wish I knew where I was.
Nothing is familiar about where I am. It’s cold and smells dusty. I’m lying on what feels like a thin cot. I can only imagine what he plans on doing. My senses kick in and I feel like someone is close. I make sure to keep as still as possible.
“Oh, Maddison. Why do you always have to act like you are too good for me? You act like you never notice me. What does he have that I don’t? Did you think you could keep him a secret? This was never about the money. I always planned on coming back for you. We never got to finish what we started because you damn mother had to get in the way.”
He sighs and I get freaked out. He has been planning this.
“When are you going to wake up? Damn it! You look so peaceful when you are sleeping. You’re gonna have to wake up soon. I’ll be waiting.”
I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be sleeping before he starts to get mad. He seriously is crazier than I originally thought. Finally, when I don’t think pretending to be sleeping is making matters any better, I whisper to him, “Why are you doing this?” Waiting for his response, I sniffle and let the tears come. I don’t care if he sees them or not. It’s not like anything I say or do will change his mind. He obviously has been planning this. I don’t know what I ever did to him to make him want to do this to me.
“Sweet Maddison, why can’t you see? You are mine. I knew from the second I laid eyes on you. I never needed Frank. I have plenty of my own money. I just needed a reason to get around you. You are so beautiful and I had to have you. I won’t share you. I will keep you here until you realize you are mine.”
Fuck, this guy is dangerous and mental. Not a good combination. I reach my hand down and feel my wrist and begin to freak out. My bracelet, it’s gone. My bracelet means everything to me, it’s everything I want to be. Those words help me and remind me of who I am deep down inside. I feel naked with the cold metal missing. Feeli
ng weak and defeated I lay there and hope the darkness finds me.
****
“What day is it? Where are we?” I ask hoping to get some answers. I feel like it has been weeks since this all happened. I don’t expect him to answer my questions. What I do know is this guy needs help. He’s acting like he cares about me. He never cared about me. If he did he wouldn’t have killed my mom.
“It’s Saturday night, Maddison.”
I have been here one day. I’m nowhere close to escaping here. This time I don’t have my mother to save me. Jase must think I left him there. “Where is my stuff? I need my stuff. My bag.” He laughs.
“You don’t need anything. I didn’t bring it. I didn’t see it.” Maybe if I try to convince him I am coming around and believe him and make him think I see why he is doing this, I can gain the upper hand. “It’s dark in here. Can you turn on a light? I can’t see you. If I can’t see you I can’t begin to understand anything. Please?” He gets up and I think he is going to turn on a light until I feel the bed dip and he sits down next to me. I jump when he touches my hair.
“I’m not going to turn on any lights. Don’t ask again. There is nothing for you to see.”
He continues to stroke my hair and I feel like vomiting. The fear and repulsion mixed with my shakes is making it difficult to breathe. At this point I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep going, so I stay put in the darkness and keep quiet, begging for someone to come for me.
I have to go to the bathroom, with the little amount of water I have been forced to drink finally hitting. I have refused to eat anything he has offered, scared of being poisoned. “I need to go to the restroom,” I say hoping maybe there is something in the bathroom that can help me escape. Desperate for anything at this point.
“Okay, I will take you, but don’t forget I’m right behind you. Don’t get any ideas. Get up.”
I do as I am told. He holds my shoulders from behind and guides me around the place. We walk a short distance and a door opens.