"But, Mom-"
"Sweetie, Jake's due here in a few minutes. Right now, I need you to finish setting the table, okay?"
"Okay," she relented. "We'll talk later." Her auburn head bobbed back into the dining room before reappearing a minute later, one of the dining room chairs clutched firmly in her grasp.
"What are you doing?"
Her face was the picture of innocence when she turned to face Jenna. "Oh. . . I thought we could use the nice dishes. . . you know– the pretty ones we save for company. I think Jake'll like those better, don't you?"
Her impulse was to say no, but Meg looked so pleased with herself. And what would it hurt? Throwing up her hands in defeat, she yanked the refrigerator door open. "Honey, that will be lovely. I'll help you get them down. Don't climb up there yourself."
***
Jake was whistling as he parked in front of Jen's house. It had him worried. This cheerfulness . . . had to stop. And that little skip his stupid heart had done when she'd asked him to dinner. He didn't want to contemplate the meaning of it. Or the relief flooding his system when she'd admitted Rick was already gone again. And it had definitely been relief, dammit. He'd had to bite his tongue when she'd spoken of him. Some father. That's what he wanted to say. But that would've been prying. And he never pried.
Where the hell did he think he could go with this? Giving himself a mental head slap, he swung out of the truck. This 'thing' he was imagining with Jenna had to stop. He had to end it, right now. Especially since she was clueless to his growing infatuation. And that's all it was. Infatuation.
If he were in the habit of psychoanalyzing himself– and he damn well wasn't– he would be forced to admit that Jenna Stone was unattainable. Which made her safe. Since he couldn't really have Jen, he merely imagined he wanted her. Reviewing the logic, he nodded. He'd already decided to follow up with Bev– or Beth– or whatever her name was. He just needed to start dating– soon. Tonight was just dinner. "Dinner and work and then you'll leave."
He was still muttering to himself when he walked up the steps. Before he could ring the doorbell, he heard Alex bellowing his arrival on the other side of the door. Shaking his head at the decibel level, he was grinning when Megan tugged opened the door. The tantalizing scent of roasting beef filled the foyer, making his mouth water in anticipation.
"Hello, Mr. Traynor. Come in."
"Hi, Megan." Jake couldn't help noticing the contrast between the kids as he slung his coat on the rocking chair. Meg was quiet and cautious, while Alex was a typical boy, boisterous and loud. She was also very observant, he realized when he discovered her scrutinizing him. "How was school today?"
"It was pretty good." She paused when Alex stampeded into the foyer. "I had two tests but I think I did okay," she confirmed with a nod. "Jake, do you have any pets?"
"Hi, Jake!"
"Hey, Sport. How's it goin? Fall out of any trees lately?"
His grin was wide and gap-toothed when he shook his head. "Mommy says I can't climb on anythin' for a while."
Remembering Megan's question, he turned to find her patiently waiting for an answer. "I don't have any pets now, but when I was your age, I had a dog and my sister had two cats."
"Wow, you have a sister?"
"And a brother," he added. "Andrea and Jefferson."
Jenna floated into the living room, looking relaxed in spite of the commotion. Smiling her greeting, she offered him a drink and showed him to the couch.
"See Mom! Jake had a dog when he was growing up," Megan confirmed. "We need at least one pet."
"Yeah, an' I want it to be a dog." Alex shot her a mutinous look.
"Did I inadvertently start something here?" Smiling, he figured it was too late now.
"Kids, go wash up for dinner. We're eating in fifteen minutes." Jenna sat down with him, wincing at the noisy footsteps up the stairs. Tucking one leg underneath her, she turned to face him. "That was a set-up. They've been asking for a pet ever since we moved here." She leaned toward him, whispering conspiratorially.
Jenna was close enough for her scent to wash over him. His entire body tightening with awareness, Jake found himself fighting not to drag in a deep breath. She smelled better than the damned roast.
"I was thinking about getting them a kitten for Christmas."
Battling the scent overtaking his senses, he forced his attention back to the conversation. Christmas was only two weeks away. Specialty's lobby had been decorated for weeks. Jake let his gaze wander around the formal living room. It was modestly furnished, but lovingly detailed with little holiday touches he suspected were second nature to her. The moss green walls were stenciled in a delicate leaf pattern. There were plants everywhere, several of which were overflowing their pots. He wasn't surprised by the knowledge she had a green thumb.
"I bet Megan would love a kitten. But, what about Alex?" He smiled over her obvious chagrin. How would she decide? "You know that expression?" Hesitating, he enjoyed the flash of curiosity in her eyes. "'Fighting like cats and dogs'? I think there's actually something to it."
Jen smiled ruefully. "I can't handle both. And a dog would be too much work. All that walking. But cats are pretty self-sufficient." Sighing, she leaned back against the couch. "What do you think of a fish for Al? You know, sort of a consolation prize?"
He shrugged as her appealing scent drifted away. "You might be able to sell it. I'd start talking it up . . . you know, like it's one of those really cool fighting fish. If it'll help, I could plant the seed for you."
"Would you?" Her beautiful eyes widened. "If you only knew how much Alex talks about you." She shook her head in amazement. "That night at the hospital meant so much to him. Anyone listening would think you'd spent a week with him."
Because he misses his dad. Uncomfortable with his thoughts, Jake glanced away. "I enjoyed it, too. He's a great kid." Jen's life was not his business. Avoiding her gaze, he suddenly noticed the contrast between her home and work space. Jenna's office was neat and organized, but devoid of any personality. Yet, her home was alive with color and warmth. At home she seemed relaxed and happy, while at work, she was so. . . He searched for an adequate description. Cautious.
As though Jenna consciously held herself back. Occasionally, she'd slip . . . crack a joke, or make small talk. Argue with him. Before she realized her error and clammed up. He'd spent a good portion of his sleepless night analyzing the few times he'd seen her mask slip.
Anger and fear. So far, those were the only times he'd caught a glimpse of the personality he suspected was the real thing. He wondered why she would go to such lengths to hide her true nature. Remembering her biting words the previous day, Jen had struck a nerve when she spoke of his cruelty. It hurts more when you see the pain in her eyes. Much later– when Jake replayed the scene in his head, he realized it had struck a nerve with her, too. His stomach tightened as Alex' words returned. Daddy calls her stupid.
"I need to check the bread in the oven. I'll be right back."
Jake's thoughts scattered when she rose from the couch, but a wave of her hand indicated she preferred he stay put. "Where's your Christmas tree?"
Her voice floated back from the kitchen. "We're going Saturday."
Shelving his curiosity about the real Jenna, he let her voice drift over him and felt himself relaxing in a way that was startlingly foreign. Just sitting on the couch with her . . . talking about nothing. Was this what marriage felt like? Leaving the stress of the day behind? Stepping into the warm comfort of the home you've built together . . . to the sounds of your children playing overhead and the inviting aroma of dinner in the oven. Coming home to the familiarity of the one person who knew you better than anyone. And somehow still loved you anyway?
The contrast to his own life was stark. His house was a carbon copy of his life. Uncluttered. Undecorated. Unlived in. Still– marriage couldn't be all that great, he finally decided, or everyone he knew wouldn't already be divorced.
***
So far,
so good, Jen thought. The meal had been edible. In fact, it was delicious. She wasn't sure why she'd been nervous. Jake had eaten second helpings of everything. The kids had been perfect . . . well– as perfect as one could expect of a rambunctious six-year-old. And so far, not an indiscreet word out of Megan. All in all, a very successful dinner.
"I hear you kids are getting your tree Saturday?"
"Yeah an' this year I want a real big one, Mommy. Not like that sissy tree last year."
Jen made a face at her youngest. "Last year's tree was all I could handle, Al. I barely wrestled that one into the stand."
"If you're interested, I know a place where you can pick from a hundred trees. And they're all different sizes." Her boss threw her a cautious look. "If your mom says it's okay, that is. I could drive you out there on Saturday."
"Can we, Mom?" The instantaneous sound of begging filled the dining room.
Pretending to block her ears from the noise, she rose from the table, buying herself time to think about Jake's offer. "I don't know. Let's see how well you behave tonight while we do our work."
Her announcement was met with a chorus of groans, but she stood her ground. "So far, you're not showing me much," she challenged, winking at Jake while she collected the dishes.
"Jake?" Megan set her fork across her plate and paused to wipe her mouth on her napkin. "Can I have a special card like you gave Alex?"
"Hey! She can't have one," he objected. "It's only for us guys." Alex sat up straighter, preparing for battle. "Besides– it's. . . it's certified."
"Classified, Sport, remember?" Turning to her daughter, Jake hid his smile behind his napkin. As Jen watched, he maintained a serious expression, appearing to contemplate her request. His voice was grave when he finally spoke. "I think we should let Megan have a card, Sport."
"Aw. . . man!"
"Shut up, Alexander," she taunted.
"You're not the boss of me. And don't call me that!"
"Alexander. Alexander. Alex-"
"Hey, you two." Jen glanced at her watch. "It's been two minutes. I guess you want that scrawny, little tree, huh?" Standing in the doorway, she frowned. "Settle down or you'll both march straight up to bed," she warned. Turning her attention to Jake, who appeared to be very amused by her ultimatum, she flashed him a warning look. "Now, what's this about a secret card?"
"When I was in the hospital, Jake gave me a special card an' he said I could call him whenever I needed him." Alex shot a baleful look at his sister. "It was s'posed to be classified."
"Well. . . I might need to talk to him, too," Megan announced, glaring back. "Girls have secret stuff they need to discuss. And I can keep a secret better 'n you can."
There it was. The challenge. It would be too much for her son to withstand. Jen winced, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
"I can keep plenty of secrets," Alex shouted as he stood up, tipping over his chair in the process. "You're a big, fat liar!"
"Mom, that little creep just called me a liar!"
"Okay, that's it. Both of you up to your rooms until you can remember your manners. The way you're acting, Jake will never want to step foot in this house again."
Standing, Jake righted the chair Alex had knocked over. "C'mon Sport. Tell Megan you're sorry."
"But. . . I don't want her in our club. I wanna keep it jus' you an' me."
"Al, it'll still be classified, I promise. But, when I'm not around, you'll have someone to share the secrets with." Jake let him ponder it for a minute, while he turned to Megan. "And you have to apologize to Alex if you want to belong to our group. Members have to be nice to each other."
Turning from one to the other, Jen felt like a complete outsider to the discussion. When had she lost control of the situation? She shot a glance at their ringleader and had to stifle a laugh when he winked at her over the kids' heads. When she heard her children's mumbled apologies to each other, she was stunned. "Could someone please tell me what's going on?"
"Jake said I could call whenever I needed him," her son explained.
"I see," she said with a sinking feeling. Her boss must have given Alex his business card. "And just how often have you 'needed' to call him?"
"Not too much. Only like. . . three or four times."
Mortified, she met his gaze. "I-I had no idea. Jake– I'm sorry if he's bothered you."
"It's been no trouble at all," he was quick to reassure her. "I like hearing from him. You too, Meg." Pulling out his wallet, he removed a business card and presented it to her, his voice solemn when he spoke. "Remember, just for important stuff, okay?"
Jen's heart dropped to the floor when she caught the reverent look her daughter bestowed on him. Stunned, her hand fluttered to her chest as she watched them together. He'd cast some sort of magic spell over her children. Until tonight, she hadn't realized how much Alex and Megan craved male attention. Her thoughts flew to the previous night, when the kids had monopolized her brother, clamoring for his attention. She'd assumed it was because they hadn't seen their uncle for so long.
Her memory flashed back to the day at the hospital. Alex had been absolutely thrilled to have her boss all to himself that night. Even the very first night Jake arrived on their doorstep . . . it had been Alex who asked him to stay for dinner. Why hadn't she noticed it before?
It hurt to watch the hero worship in their eyes when they talked with her boss. Taking a deep breath, Jen headed into the kitchen as a shiver of fear coursed through her. Her hands shook when she set the plates on the counter. For the first time, she was seeing a piece of her family puzzle she'd never known was missing. What was Jake doing to them?
She couldn't afford to be caught in his charismatic net. Not when she'd worked so hard to rebuild their life. Not when they'd come so far. Just because there were moments when he made her knees go weak. Just because she knew him to be compassionate and kind under the gruff exterior. . .
Twisting the faucet, she rinsed plates. Just because she was attracted to her boss, didn't mean she could act on it. Being attracted to someone was easy. It was the rest of it that was so damn hard. And Jen knew with certainty she couldn't last through a relationship with Jake and survive to talk about it. Not only would she lose her job in the process, she was pretty sure she'd lose her heart as well.
Swallowing around the lump in her throat, she scrubbed at the goose bumps suddenly raising on her arms. Hell, she was already halfway there.
No! The denial was immediate. Shocked by the mere suggestion, she plunged her hands back into the soapy water. It simply wasn't possible. She could never love someone like Jake. She didn't want to love any man ever again.
"You're delusional." She dismissed the notion. Sure, she liked Jake. What wasn't to like? They made a great team. But that was all. Methodically, she stacked the pans in the dishwasher. Her life was finally stable again after such a long period of uncertainty.
Why on earth would she risk it over the wrong man? Jake was a loner, wrapped up in his work, with no interest in a ready-made family. Sure, he'd gone out of his way to be kind to her kids. But a man playing dad once a month wasn't what she had in mind. She wanted . . . okay, so maybe she did want love. Eventually. Maybe. But Jake wanted an efficient assistant, someone who made his work life easier.
It would be easy enough to create some needed distance. Regain the balance. It wasn't as though she'd crossed a line. And the enormous fact that he was her employer would guarantee she remained sensible.
Jake didn't seem to be having any problems. In fact, he didn't seem interested at all. Heck, in his eyes she was married. And Jen knew him well enough to know he would never cross that line. Even if he had been interested– which he wasn't– she would always be off-limits to him.
But, what about her kids? Her brain whispered the concern. How could she deny them something they needed? Something they had every right to want? It was now startlingly clear how much they wanted a father.
Six months earlier, she'd been desperate for a fres
h start. Leaving Baltimore, she hadn't looked back, never contemplating anything beyond the immediate future. Keeping Rick alive had been good cover.
Now, she wasn't sure. Jen recognized her lie might end up costing her children the one thing they wanted most. The one thing she continued to deny them because she'd sacrificed the future for a short-term gain. Had she recklessly given up their chance for a flesh and blood father?
Even as she acknowledged the possibility, she knew there could be no turning back. Not at this point. Not without more lies. She was staggered by the realization of what she had accomplished. The only dad her kids would ever know was in name only.
Chapter 8
"Jen? Is everything okay?" She'd nearly bolted from the dining room. Jake cautiously entered the kitchen. "I hope you're not mad about the business card thing. Honestly, I was just messing around, and then Alex was so impressed with the idea." His smile was sheepish as he searched for a spot on the counter to set the glasses he carried. "I didn't want to wreck the fun."
"No– of course not. I was just surprised, that's all."
Except Jenna looked upset. When she turned to face him, something in her expression told him everything was not all right. She had trouble meeting his gaze when she brushed past him to collect the dishes from the dining room. "Seriously, Jen, if I've overstepped my bounds, please say so. The last thing I wanted was to upset you. I'm not very good at this kid thing."
That seemed to stop her cold. A strange, almost vulnerable expression crossed her face. Now, what had he done? Hesitating in the doorway, he was unsure what to say, and painfully aware of the odds he'd make matters worse. Don't cry. Please. Jeez– give him a ranting subcontractor threatening murder any day of the week. But, tears? Talk about something guaranteed to render him useless.
"You–you're great at it. It just made me realize how much they miss-"
Holding his breath, Jake waited, watching her struggle with herself. With her need to confess what bothered her. Watched her battle with the decision– whether she trusted him enough to blurt out the rest.
Trusting Jake (Blueprint To Love Book 1) Page 10