He waves me along, so I follow him.
“Did you bring me here to show off how good you are at the balance beam?” I ask as we walk past the swing set. I run my fingers over the chains. “Because frankly, that’s not so impressive at our age.”
Derek stops walking, and I realize where we are. By the slide, under the oak tree.
The site of our first kiss.
“Oh,” I say.
“Jolie,” he says, and his voice cracks. He’s nervous. How could Derek, my Derek, be nervous about kissing me? I realize he’s gearing up for some big speech, like this is a debate he’s practiced for (and if I know Derek, he probably did practice for it).
But whatever he’s going to say, it doesn’t matter, because we’re way, way past words now.
“Just shut up,” I say, closing the space between us. Our lips meet and move and it’s a little awkward, trying to figure out how to do this brand-new thing with someone I’ve known my whole life. My hands kind of hover over him as I try to figure out where to put them, but then he wraps his arms around me and I instinctively grab his shoulders. He bumps into my teeth and his lips scrape my braces as we laugh, which sort of makes it okay—like we both realize that this is weird, but good, and we can figure it out together.
Abbi was right: This isn’t something you can learn from a book, or by taking notes, or by googling. This is one hundred percent trial by fire, something I had to leap into, a risk I had to take. And then suddenly, it’s not so awkward anymore and it feels very, very natural to be kissing Derek Jones. I can’t believe I wasted time before my surgery not doing this, that we were friends for so long when we could’ve been … well, friends who kiss. My hands grip his shoulders a little harder, and even though I’ve touched him a million times before, this is different. This is better.
I pull back and look at his eyes, those kind brown eyes I’ve seen almost every day since I was in kindergarten.
“How’s your mouth feel?” he asks. “Numb?”
I shake my head slowly and blink a few times, realizing why people say they have stars in their eyes. It’s like my head is floating through the cosmos, planets spinning in front of my face. The bottom part of my face is still a little numb and tingly, to be honest, but this is still ten million times better than my previous kissing experience.
I think about the things I spent my whole life avoiding, the time I spent hiding, the moments when I tried to make myself small and invisible. If only I’d known that this was on the other side of my fear, that all I had to do was let people see me. That I could get up in front of people and they would accept me, all of me. That I always deserved this, even when I thought I didn’t, even when I thought I never could until I was “perfect” or “pretty” or “normal.”
“Definitely not,” I say. “I’m feeling everything.”
Acknowledgments
When I was a kid, I used to read the liner notes of my Mariah Carey CD and dream about thanking everyone in my life on my eventual album. Well, now I get to do that, but luckily for all of us, I wrote a book instead of recording an album.
A huge thanks to my editor, Anna Roberto, for getting this book and Jolie’s voice from the very beginning (and for appreciating all of my weird jokes).
Thank you so much to Stephen Barbara, Best Agent Ever. Thank you for answering all of my many (many, many) questions. I’m extraordinarily lucky to have you in my corner.
Thank you to the entire team at Feiwel and Friends, specifically Jean Feiwel, both for creating this marvelous imprint and for coming up with this book’s title! Thanks to Kelsey Marrujo for all your hard work and the hundreds of emails you have to answer from me alone. And thanks to April Ward and Victor Bregante for creating such an eye-catching cover.
The biggest thanks possible to Lauren Dlugosz Rochford. Your feedback was essential to this book and I’m so grateful for your friendship! To paraphrase the great Kelly Clarkson, my books would suck without you.
Thank you to Catherine Stoner for being part of most of the moments that indirectly led to this book, and by that I mean making fun of that ABCs of Abstinence pamphlet.
Thank you to Alex Winfrey and Chase Winfrey for watching lots of terrible and not-so-terrible movies and television shows with me, from Gilmore Girls to Magic Mike to that Liberace biopic. A particular thank you to Alex for reminding me of the scoring system we created when we watched all those dance movies.
Thank you, as always, to my parents. I realize that not everyone has parents who encourage them to be creative. I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for the boys and me, whether that was paying for creative writing summer camp or building an art studio under the basement stairs. Sorry none of us turned out to be engineers, but you probably should’ve seen the signs.
Thank you to all of my friends and extended family members who have been so supportive and encouraging.
Thank you to Carly Rae Jepsen for recording the ideal book soundtrack.
Thank you to the independent bookstores that have been so supportive: Gramercy Books and the Book Loft in Columbus, Main Street Books in Mansfield, and Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Cincinnati.
Writing is lonely sometimes, and I’m thankful for the writers I’ve met who have reassured me that I’m not alone, particularly Jen Maschari and Emily Adrian.
To all the readers and bloggers who’ve been so kind and supportive: THANK YOU. A special thank you to Jen from Pop! Goes the Reader. Your blog is a beacon of positivity.
Thank you to Hollis for always thinking I’m J. K. Rowling, despite all evidence to the contrary. You believed in me from the very beginning, and I couldn’t do this without you.
Biggest thanks to my cowriter/son, Harry. You were with me for this entire novel—literally, because sometimes I wrote while you were asleep on my chest. Mama loves you, little dude.
And lastly, to all the kids with underbites: I wrote this book because I had an underbite in high school. It was such a source of stress and pain for me, but I hope it isn’t for you. You’re fine the way you are, with surgery or without, and I hope it doesn’t take you as long as it took me and Jolie to figure that out.
About the Author
Kerry Winfrey grew up in Bellville, Ohio, where she spent most of her time reading inappropriate books at the library. Not much has changed. Kerry has written for many websites, including HelloGiggles, and is the author of Love and Other Alien Experiences. Find her on Instagram @kerrywinfrey, on Twitter @KerryAnn, or on her website kerrywinfrey.com. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, their son, and their dog, Merlin. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Acknowledgments
About the
Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2018 by Kerry Winfrey
A Feiwel and Friends Book
An imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010
fiercereads.com
All rights reserved.
Feiwel and Friends logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at [email protected].
First hardcover edition, 2018
eBook edition, July 2018
eISBN 9781250119551
Things Jolie Needs to Do Before She Bites It Page 24