by Ivy Jordan
“I was going to see if you wanted to hang out with me today, if that’s okay with your mom,” I looked towards Kellie with a pouted lip and my best sad puppy dog eyes.
“Please, mommy, can I?” Bailey whined in her mother’s high-pitched voice.
I chuckled at the thought of how much pleasure it brought me when it came from Bailey, and how much anguish it caused when coming from her mother.
“Oh, okay,” Kellie gave in to her child’s pleas, or possibly my pitiful look. Either way, I was going to spend the day with my daughter, just me and her. Who needed Taylor anyway? I had everything I needed right here, in this little girl with juice-stained lips that called me daddy.
“Where are you going to go?” Kellie asked.
I hadn’t really thought about where we would go or what we would do. She was only three, and a little girl. I had no idea what three-year-old little girls liked to do. “Go to the beach, maybe down by the harbor,” I suggested.
Kellie seemed fine with the plan, nodding and then sending Bailey to her room to change into her swimsuit. “I’ll pack her a bag,” Kellie said, moving past me to the other room.
I stood there, still stunned by the news I’d received from Taylor, and irritated by Kellie’s aggression, but my heart felt full at that moment. I had my daughter. It would all be fine.
“I’m ready,” Bailey chanted, running out of her room. Kellie was behind her, barely keeping up.
“Here,” she handed me a purple bag with a bright blue whale on the front. I’ll look adorable with this on my arm.
We left the house with Kellie watching. It was easy to see she was nervous letting me take Bailey on my own, but there was no way she was as nervous as I was. What am I going to do with this kid?
Bailey helped strap in her car seat and immediately asked to listen to the radio. I turned it on as we pulled away, and laughed proudly as she sang along to an AC/DC song. “You know this song?” I questioned.
She nodded with a wide grin and then continued to sing along with the chorus. She was certainly mine.
At the beach, Bailey ran ahead while I spread out the blanket in the bag Kellie provided. I watched as she started her sand castle, again in the soft, dry sand. “Let me show you,” I told her, taking her bucket and moving it towards the damp sand. She helped me fill it up several times, and then dump it into a perfect shape for the castle walls. “Wow,” she exclaimed.
The way she looked at me with such admiration made me feel ten feet tall. Her giant eyes widened each time I showed her something new, and by the time we made it to the water’s edge, it felt as though I’d known her since birth. “Ice cream,” she said, running from a large wave breaking near her feet.
“Okay,” I agreed, ready to get out of the sun. We packed up, walked to the ice cream shop near the beach entrance, and stood at the window where it said to place your order. My eyes drifted over to the bakery, Madison’s bakery, and I scanned the parking lot for Taylor’s car. I don’t know what I hoped to see, or what I planned to do if she was there, but I was relieved she wasn’t.
“What can I get you?” the woman appeared in the window and immediately turned her attention to Bailey.
“I want blue ice cream with a sugar cone, and sprinkles, lots of them,” she boasted, bouncing as she spoke.
“And you?” the woman turned to me.
“Just a vanilla cone, two scoops,” I smiled, still distracted by thoughts of Taylor.
We sat at a table where we could watch the waves slap into the shore. I was glad she picked the farthest one away from Madison’s store. My heart was heavy as I thought about Taylor. There weren't any clues that she was in it for just the sex, none.
Bailey wanted to watch the boats come into the harbor, so we drove to the pier and watched for about an hour. It was starting to get late, and I knew Kellie would be worried, so I packed up Bailey with her corndog in her hand and headed back to her house.
Her little body was limp as I lifted her from the seat and carried her to the front door. Kellie must’ve been watching, waiting for us to pull up, because she had the front door open before I could make it to the porch. “Looks like you wore her out,” she laughed.
I hated to let her go, the warmth of her body was so soothing. Kellie slid her from my arms, thanked me, and then went inside, closing the door, and me from their daily life.
As my heart ached for the little girl that called me daddy, I realized I’d made the right decision. There was no doubt in my mind. I just couldn’t help but wonder what it could’ve been like if Taylor didn’t bail. What it would be like to be a family.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Taylor
Madison sipped her iced latte while I spilled my guts. I’d spent my entire weekend going over what I’d done, trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, without much success. I knew my friend could justify my actions, tell me they were right. “Taylor, I think you dodged a giant bullet,” she assured me. Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?
“I wasn’t trying to dodge a bullet. I just didn’t want him to suffer any longer. He made the right decision to stay here and be a father to Bailey. I was just causing grief,” I explained.
“Maybe so, but the way Kellie reacted… she was going to be a nightmare,” Madison sighed. “She would be controlling your entire relationship, causing trouble every chance she got,” she added.
“Maybe,” I reluctantly agreed. I didn’t know what Kellie’s motives were. Maybe they were just to protect her daughter.
“I’m going to be late,” I rushed, pushing out the small café chair and standing to give my friend a hug. I wasn’t sure she’d made me feel any better about my decision, but I know she meant well. And who knows, maybe Kellie would’ve tried to split me and Elijah up if I tried to stay and make it work. She obviously didn’t want us together. Either way, I knew that things would be easier for Elijah this way. He could see his daughter now anytime he wanted, and he didn’t have to worry about hiding our relationship, as if that were even possible on this small island.
“Call me later, maybe we can go get a drink,” Madison offered as I rushed through her front door and to my car. I waved behind me, knowing that her idea of going to get a drink usually ended up with me babysitting her boyfriend’s brother. No thanks.
I was rushing through the building to my office when I arrived to work. I was never late, but today, I was off my game. “Taylor,” Mitchell stopped me just outside my door. “I’d like to talk to you today before you leave, if you don’t mind,” he said.
I knew he was going to ask about my decision, if I’d decided to become a partner or not. I had, and was excited about it, but now, I wasn’t sure. I was back to the same question spinning in my head: Could I stay on this island if I wasn’t with Elijah, seeing him with Bailey, possibly with Kellie?
“Okay. Milton’s out of town this week, so how about three o’clock?” I suggested.
Mitchell nodded with a wide smile. I hated to disappoint him, to disappoint myself. “I look forward to it,” he added as he turned towards his own office.
As soon as I sat down at my desk, my phone lit up. The secretary was ready to send in my first patient, a new one. I pulled out her file and agreed to see her, even though I hadn’t had the chance to look over her case, and tried to scan through the main points before she entered.
A tall blonde woman, in her late forties, entered my office. She wore a long flowing skirt, a cute pink top, and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She smiled, shook my hand, and introduced herself as Leah. She was an attractive woman, but sadness filled her bright blue eyes and aged her face. “I apologize, but I haven’t read your file completely,” I admitted, feeling that starting out with honesty was my best bet.
“There’s not much to catch up on,” she laughed nervously. “My husband was in the military and passed about three years ago. I feel like I’m ready to move on, but I’m not sure this is the place to do it,” she explaine
d.
“Why not here?” I asked.
Her answer surprised me. I assumed she would say the memory of her late husband was all around her, making it tough to build a new relationship, but that wasn’t her problem at all. She appeared to have handled his death well, mourning properly, giving it ample time to sink in and not rushing the process at all. “I don’t want to start a relationship with another military man, and this island is so small; there are not a lot of options for a woman,” she chuckled.
My heart raced as the woman’s anxiety fell directly in my lap. She was right. This island was small, very small, and options for dating were slim, nearly non-existent if you excluded the men stationed on nearby islands. “Have you considered venturing to nearby islands?” I asked.
“Who has time for that? I have a daughter and a business. There is no time to hop ferries, no money to hop planes. And, even if I did, I’d most likely run into tourists, businessmen looking for a quick fling before returning to the States, and probably a wife and family,” she rolled her eyes and slouched down in her seat.
“I can understand that.” I sucked my lips into my mouth as I tried to come up with a solution to her dilemma. I didn’t want to recommend Internet dating, having done that myself in New York. It was a disaster, one lunatic after another. “There’s no one of interest on the island?” I questioned, knowing it was small, but maybe, hopefully, not that small.
The woman shook her head. “I came here with my husband and fell in love with the island, mainly because of the seclusion it offered, now it’s the one thing I can’t stand,” she laughed.
“There are plenty of men on this island, eligible bachelors that I’m certain you’re overlooking,” I encouraged.
I thought of the fishermen that passed through on the ships, the large amount of people living outside of town, and all the handsome men I noticed on the beach. “Do you think you may be blocking out these eligible men because you aren’t really allowing yourself to move on, even though you say you are?” I questioned.
“Maybe. It just seems like they are way too young, too old, too married, or too military,” she sighed.
Or too surrounded by drama, I thought of Elijah.
I enjoyed talking with the woman, even though I didn’t feel as though I’d helped her much by the time she left, and a strange cloud hovered above me at the thought she may be right. I’d considered staying here on the island, even though I’d given up on a relationship with Elijah. But, by me staying here, was I giving up on a relationship altogether?
The end of my day rolled around quickly, and I found myself missing Milton. He was the one patient that always seemed to give my day, my life, purpose. Ugh!
I packed up my work, slipping Leah’s file in my briefcase to go over more thoroughly. There had to be some other reason for her not finding love than just the island being too small.
Mitchell waved me into his office as I lingered outside his doorway. I was dreading the talk since I had no clue what I was going to decide. “Come in,” he smiled, standing behind his desk.
I noticed he’d added a plant in the corner, and even a colorful picture on the wall. “You’re sprucing up the place,” I smiled.
“I’m following your lead. It does seem to calm people,” he chuckled as he motioned for me to sit in the chair across from him.
“So, how are things in your world?” he questioned as I took my seat.
Oh, where to begin…
“Things are fine,” I said weakly.
His eyes narrowed as he gave me a professional stare. I knew the stare well. It was one I’d given many a patient. It made me nervous, causing me to squirm and shift in my seat. “Is there something you’d like to talk about?” he probed.
I shrugged nervously, like a first-time patient. I’d always been the one on the other side of the desk; I wasn’t sure I cared for being on this side. “It’s just a personal matter,” I stammered.
“Okay. Well, I think it’s wise to explore what’s going on inside of your head and not leave it to fester into something toxic,” he expressed.
I felt my chest tighten, and then an exhale escaped, loud and dramatic. He was right; I knew that. I just wasn’t sure that he was the right person for me to talk to about this. He was my boss, possibly my business partner.
“I really want you to stay on here and take this partnership, but not if it means causing you any stress,” he added with a warm smile.
I explained to him my dilemma, spilling out details that I hadn’t even told Madison. Mitchell listened patiently, waiting until I took a long pause before interjecting. “One thing I’ve discovered about love is that it always finds a way to overcome obstacles, even those that appear to be impossible,” he offered.
I wished that were true. My love for Elijah was strong, and I knew it would be miserable sharing the small island with him without him in my life. After the letter I wrote, I doubted very much the possibility of ever experiencing the closeness we shared.
“Take all the time you need to make your decision. I don’t want you to turn it down based on love. You still have no idea what the outcome will be for your heart,” Mitchell concluded our talk.
It felt good to get everything off my chest, to admit to someone how I truly felt. I still wasn’t planning on holding my breath for everything to work out though. I was naïve, but not that naïve.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Elijah
It had been exactly a week since Taylor left, leaving behind the cold and careless note. I held it in my hands, reading it over and over again as I sat on my front porch. There was no way this was how she truly felt. Anger and anxiety grew quickly inside of me as I thought about everything we’d shared. I knew I heard her say she loved me, and that wasn’t careless emotion. What we shared was real, and it was about time she admitted it.
I crumbled up the note, tossing it in the trashcan as I headed towards my car. If this is how she truly felt, then she could tell me to my face.
In front of Taylor’s house, my muscles tightened in my shoulders, and I could feel a large lump forming in my throat. What if it were really true? What if she truly didn’t have any feelings for me at all?
I swallowed hard, pushing open my car door, and stepping out to the street. I knew I wasn’t going to get past this, past her, without the truth, no matter what that truth may be.
Walking towards her front door, it felt as though a strong force was pulling me back. I pushed through, reaching her porch, and extended my finger to the bell. The door opened quickly, and Taylor stood in front of me, her eyes filled with surprise, and her lips parted with nothing to say.
“That letter you left me, is that how you truly feel?” I blurted before she could speak.
Her lips moved, but nothing came out of her mouth. “I can handle it. I just need to hear it from you, not from a damn letter,” I insisted.
I watched her hand slide up and down the door frame, and her weight shift from foot to foot as she obviously struggled for words. “It was for the best,” she mumbled.
“The best? For who?” I grimaced.
“For you,” she insisted.
“Really? I’d love to know how you think leaving me a letter, leaving without so much as a goodbye or fuck you, was best for me,” I growled.
Tears filled her eyes as I stared into them, causing my anger to subside and my heart to swell with pain. I wanted to reach out and pull her into me, to comfort her, but I still needed answers. I needed her to say there was never anything between us, so I could turn away, and never look back.
“I didn’t want to interfere with your relationship with Bailey,” she sniffled, her tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
“I don’t understand,” I stared into her pain-filled eyes.
“I couldn’t have made it without my father. You are going to be one of the great ones, Elijah. Bailey deserves to have you in her life,” she lamented.
I stood there on Taylor’s front porch, finally unders
tanding why she wrote the letter. Nothing in that letter was truly how she felt. She was pushing me away because that’s what she thought was best for Bailey, a child she’d never even met. “I can have Bailey and you in my life,” I explained.
“Kellie was going to make certain that wasn’t happening,” she sniffed, wiping the tears from her cheek.
“Kellie can’t control my life, our life. I never had any intention of letting her dictate my relationship status, or who I had in my life. If she can’t handle you being a part of the package, then that’s her problem, not mine, and certainly not yours,” I insisted.
I watched her eyes soften, and her lips part again as if she had something else to say. As far as I was concerned, there were no more words that needed to be spoken. I pulled open the rickety screen door, pushed my way into the house with my body pressing against hers, letting my hands slide around her back to her ass cheeks as our lips met. Hers trembled at first touch, and I could taste the salt of her tears on my tongue as it entered her mouth.
She gasped as I lifted her into my arms. Her legs spread around my waist, gripping onto me as I walked her down the hall, and into her bedroom. I stopped at the edge of the bed; Taylor’s body melted into mine as our kiss pulled apart. I didn’t want to let her go, ever. “Don’t ever try to run from me again,” I whispered, slowly lowering her to the mattress.
Her eyes danced on mine as I swallowed the words inching their way from my heart to my lips.
She scooted up the mattress, her lips curled into a smile with a faint giggle escaping. I lifted off my shirt, worked quickly to kick off my shoes, and peel off my shorts as her eyes lingered on mine. Her body curved into a beautiful silhouette before me, stretching out to reach for me as I lowered onto her.
That familiar scent of vanilla poured from her skin to my nose. My mouth gently bit into the flesh of her shoulder, stirring a sweet moan from her lips. My erection pushed against her thigh, unprotected, but unwilling to retreat from its mission. “Let’s get you out of those clothes,” I whispered in her ear.