by Ivy Jordan
“If he didn’t want to tell her he had a girlfriend, or that he’s seeing someone, then he doesn’t, he isn’t,” I scoffed.
“I get that. But, these are your friends. Have you told Benny, Samson, or Paul about you two?” she asked.
“No,” I admitted, feeling that burning in my stomach return.
“He may have told you about it later and let you handle it how you wanted,” she advised, making me feel even worse.
I sighed, taking in everything she said, and trying to put myself in his shoes. “No. If one of his buddies came onto me, I would at the very least say I was seeing someone, period,” I insisted.
Lark was a hopeless romantic, but I was a realist. There was no gray area to this topic. It was black or white, right or wrong.
“What are you gonna do about your living situation?” she asked.
The burning pit in my stomach grew like a forest fire after a long, hot summer drought. “I guess I’ll talk to him. If having sex is a stipulation for living here, then I’ll move,” I said sternly.
I didn’t want to move. The thought of moving made me ill. But, the thought of staying, and not being with Theo, that made me ill, too.
“Can you handle that?” Lark asked.
I couldn’t. I knew that, and she knew that.
“It doesn’t matter. If he’ll let me stay, I’ll have to try,” I sighed.
My phone beeped with a call from an unknown number. “I’m getting a call,” I told Lark, quickly saying our goodbyes.
I clicked over to the waiting call. “Hello?”
“Is this Willow Banks?” a woman asked.
“Yes, it is. How can I help you?” I asked.
“We’re having a family reunion in the Hamptons with everyone arriving tomorrow morning and staying for two days. I realize this is short notice, but our photographer canceled last minute and a mutual friend gave me your number,” she explained.
“Would you need me there for the entire three days?” I asked.
It was an unusual request, but not unheard of. People with money found millions of ways to squander it, including hiring a professional to photograph their day at the zoo. “Yes. There are six generations, all showing up this year. I’m afraid for the oldest generation it will likely be their last trip. We just thought it would be special to have those precious last moments together memorialized in photos that we could all share,” she said.
The thought of leaving without talking to Theo both upset me and gave me pleasure. Let him suffer, wondering where I’m at. But, then again, he may decide to throw me out while I’m gone.
I needed time to think, regardless. And after our spat, we both could use some time apart. “Yes. I’d be delighted to do it,” I agreed.
We worked out the details with payment, accommodations, and transportation, and then hung up. I was to leave early tomorrow morning with a car service picking me up to deliver me by nine.
I called Lark back, told her about the job, and she agreed that time apart might do us both some good. She was still hopeful this would all work out, but I was done. I couldn’t continue to torture myself any longer.
Every car door, every set of headlights, brought me to the window looking for Theo. Each time, it wasn’t him.
It was getting late, and I’d convinced myself he was out with someone else, probably Jeanette. I had given up hope of seeing him before I left at six in the morning for the Hamptons when the doorbell rang.
I’d been there a month, and it was the first time I’d heard the customized ‘Stairway to Heaven’ tone from inside the house. It may be the last, Willow.
I opened the door to find Benny on my stoop with an obviously drunk Theo leaning against the red brick entrance. “I’m sorry, Willow. I don’t know what’s going on, but he just kept saying you told him not to come home,” Benny explained, helping Theo inside.
Theo grinned when our eyes met, a vindictive grin, not one I’d consider friendly. “You need a shower, man,” Benny said, offering me an apologetic glance before helping Theo up the stairs.
I heard the water running, and bottles falling from the shelves to the shower floor. After a few minutes, the water stopped, and I could hear voices coming from the top of the stairs. I felt helpless down there while Benny helped Theo. I hated to see him in that shape, and even though I was still angry, I ached for his pain to go away.
Benny came downstairs after about thirty minutes. “Wow. I haven’t seen him that drunk since his twenty-first birthday,” he sighed, falling onto the couch beside me. “What happened between you two?” he asked.
“We’ve been—uh….” I stammered.
“I know. That’s all he’s talked about,” Benny laughed.
I was surprised that he knew, and that Theo had talked about it, about us. “I’ve been burned by his type before,” I said quickly.
“His type?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting high on his forehead.
I swallowed hard, realizing the type was musicians, and Benny was one as well. One that was about to be married.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean any disrespect to you or Kayla. It’s just, Theo has a lot of temptations surrounding him, and I worried he couldn’t handle them. Today, I witnessed that he couldn’t,” I explained.
Benny looked surprised, his eyebrows still lifted high on his face, and his eyes widened. “Wow. That surprises even me. I’ve known Theo a long time, and that’s just not his style. Are you sure you saw what you saw?” he asked.
I forced a smile. “I saw what I saw.”
It was too familiar. Mac with his pants undone, a brunette on her knees when I caught him backstage after a gig; it was the same thing. “It’s not what it looks like, baby,” Mac said. Ugh. I was over having a man tell me I was crazy, that I didn’t see what I knew I saw.
“Well, maybe talk to him and work it out. Like I said, I’ve known Theo for a long time. He’s a good guy, one of the last good ones. Give him a chance to explain, at least. He’s been so happy. It just blows my mind that he’d do anything to destroy that,” Benny said softly, standing from the couch.
He opened his arms and gave me a big hug. “Talk to him, before it gets out of hand,” he suggested.
“I have to go out of town in the morning for work. I’ll be gone a few days,” I said, concerned now that maybe I hadn’t seen what I thought I saw. No. Don’t get sucked in, Willow. But Benny was right. I did need to talk to Theo.
“Well. He’s pretty drunk now. Maybe you’ll have time in the morning,” he said, giving me a quick hug before heading out the door.
I turned off all the lights and headed upstairs. It was late, and I had to be up early, but if Theo was awake, I’d at least let him know my plans.
Upstairs, Theo’s loud snores echoed down the halls. I peeked in his room, finding him lying on his back wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and his hair still wet from the shower.
His abs rippled down his chest like a beautiful ocean tide that I wanted to swim in. My heart fluttered as I stared at the man I’d fallen for, and the one who had made me fall for his lies.
A part of me still wanted to crawl into bed with him, to curl up and feel his warmth. I walked into the room quietly, pulled the blankets over Theo, and fought the urge to lean in and give him a kiss on those perfect lips.
I started to walk away when a grip tightened around my wrist, pulling me back towards the bed. “I love you,” Theo mumbled, his eyes barely open.
My heart ached, wanting to fall into his arms. His eyes fell closed again, and the snores continued.
Chapter Nine
My eyes were itchy and red. I hadn’t had much sleep after packing, and then writing, and rewriting Theo’s note several times.
I glanced into his room, setting my suitcase by the door. He was still snoring. I tiptoed into the room, placed the note on his nightstand, and took one last look at his beautiful face. It’s no wonder I’d fallen for him. He was gorgeous.
The driver was chatty, something I
wasn’t ready for so early in the morning. I made an excuse that I had to work while we drove and settled into the backseat of the black Escalade with my tablet, playing Farmville instead of actually working.
The Hamptons were beautiful when we arrived a couple hours later. Traffic wasn’t bad, since it was still early in the year. Most New Yorkers didn’t flock to the area until the summer heat became unbearable in the city.
I settled into my hotel, contacted my client, and made arrangements to meet them at their beach house in an hour after freshening up.
It was late enough that Theo would be awake, and he would’ve already seen my note. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind. Did he even care that I was gone?
I called Lark, gave her the update on my whereabouts, and asked her to keep an eye on Theo while I was gone. I wanted to make sure he was okay. “You’re in love with him,” she said softly.
“No. I care about him. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Just please make sure he’s okay,” I scoffed, hanging up after she promised.
Love. Did I love Theo? My heart knew the answer to that, but my mind wouldn’t allow me to say it aloud, or even admit it silently.
A driver waited for me outside my hotel to bring me to the beach house where I’d photograph six generations enjoying a holiday while my heart broke in two. I’d keep a smile on my face, be kind, and remain professional, even though I wanted to curl up in bed with chick flicks and eat ice cream from the carton for the next two days.
My phone rang as I frantically searched for it in my bag. Assuming it was the client assuring I was on schedule, I slid answer without even looking at the number.
“Where are you?” Theo’s voice sounded irritable and scratchy.
“I left a note,” I said quickly, surprised to hear his voice.
“Yeah. So, you’re really in the Hamptons on work?” he asked.
“Yes. I received the call last night. After what happened between us, I figured it was best to create some distance,” I sighed, struggling to keep my tears from flooding my eyes.
“I thought you just took off because of me,” he grumbled.
It was partly because of him, that was true. It was a great opportunity, but I was looking so forward to our night and our entire day together. I would’ve turned it down in a heartbeat if things hadn’t ended as they did.
“I’m sorry things turned out the way they did, Theo. I will look for a place when I get back,” I said.
“You’re moving out?” he asked, his voice sounding angry.
“It’s for the best. I don’t think we can go back to being just roommates. It’s not fair to either of us,” I explained.
“Where are you staying?” he asked.
I hesitated.
“In case I need you for something, or need to get in touch with you,” he added quickly.
I gave him the information and told him I had to go. I wiped my eyes, worked my features into a friendly smile, and stepped out of the car to meet the family I’d be spending my next three days with.
Everyone was gracious, especially Elizabeth Channing, the woman I’d spoken with on the phone. I spent the next couple hours meeting family members as they arrived, taking note of their names, and trying to find ways to put a name with each face to make it easy to remember. There were over ninety people that arrived that day, including the kids, all staying in adjacent beach houses. It was going to be a lot of work. More than I’d realized when I’d agreed to take this on.
It would be good to keep my mind off Theo. At least I’d be staying busy.
Mrs. Channing offered for me to stay for dinner, but it felt awkward to be an outsider in such a large family. “Thank you, but I’d like to organize the photos I’ve taken,” I excused myself until morning.
Once I returned to the hotel, I drew a hot bath, pouring the complimentary bubble bath into the water. Even though I’d stayed busy all day with the droves of people to meet, scenes to photograph, and stories to listen to, Theo still managed to enter my mind quite a bit.
The hot water soothed my aches, all but the one in my heart. Every time I closed my eyes, leaning back into the water to relax, I saw Theo. His body, so toned and muscular, lying on the bed uncovered before I’d left that morning. I could hear his voice, the anger and irritation within it from when he called. I don’t know why, but it bothered me that he didn’t ask me to stay when I said I’d look for a place. Did I want him to beg me to stay? If he did, would I?
I’d wanted a nap after my long bath, but I knew closing my eyes would only bring more memories of Theo, more pain. I might as well get some work done.
I slipped out of the water, the cool air of the hotel room instantly sending goosebumps to my skin. I wrapped myself in the hotel robe, plush, white, and warm. My eyes were adorned with black circles under them as I passed by the mirror. Ugh. I looked ten years older than twenty-three.
A knock on the door startled me. I tiptoed to the door, peeking through the peephole, but whoever was there was too close to make out. I slid the chain across the door to lock it before opening it to see who knocked. Probably someone who had the wrong room.
“Theo?” I asked as he turned to show his face.
He looked like shit. His hair was messy, something I’d only seen early in the mornings, and he had the same dark circles under his eyes as I did.
“I need to talk to you,” he said urgently.
I pushed the door closed, unclasped the chain, and opened it back up to let him inside.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, still confused by his presence.
“I told you. I need to talk to you,” he said with the same irritation in his voice from earlier.
“You need to leave,” I stammered.
“No. You need to listen,” he said, his tone strong and growing angry.
I was shocked by his aggression, rendered speechless as I stood, still dripping under my robe before him.
“You have some serious trust issues. I know that, you know that, but you need to get the hell over them,” he said. “You can trust me, and you need to trust me, because I’m not willing to give up on us yet,” he added.
“I can trust that you’ll cheat. I watched you take that number and put it in your pocket,” I snipped.
His face tightened, and my eyes caught the hard swallow as his Adam’s apple rolled up, and then back down his neck. Theo’s eyes narrowed as he bit his bottom lip, letting out a soft laugh, almost like a growl.
“You’ve pushed me away at every turn. You’re stubborn, critical, and a real pain in my ass, ya know that? But I still want you. Why? I have no freakin’ idea, but I do, Willow,” he said, his voice cracking as he spoke.
“I love you, Willow,” he said softly.
My heart ached to say it back. I love you, Theo Carson. I love you with everything I have to give. But I don’t trust you with my love.
“If you don’t love me, that’s one thing. I’ll have to live with that. But if you do, and this is just you comparing me to your asshole ex, or you pushing me away because you’re afraid of getting hurt, I can’t live with that,” he said.
“I saw you, Theo. This isn’t me comparing you. This isn’t me being afraid. This is me telling you that I don’t want another cheater in my life. My heart can’t handle that pain again,” I replied, fighting back the tears already forming in my eyes. “You need to leave, Theo,” I said softly.
Chapter Ten
Theo stood there, staring at me, not budging. My body trembled as I fought to control my pain, my love, my regret. I needed him to walk away, to leave, so I could let myself fall to the floor. If he stood there much longer my, legs would give out. Please don’t let him see me drop to my knees in pain.
“Do you love me, Willow?” he asked, his voice soft and velvety.
My bottom lip trembled as I dug my long nails into my palm to keep my tears from flowing. Too late.
He moved towards me, his arms reaching around me, but he didn’t pul
l me into his chest where I wanted to be, where I felt safe and warm. His hands rested on my shoulders. They started to shake. His eyes pierced into mine—so blue, so sexy. My tears fell down my cheeks, leaving hot streaks on my skin. “Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll leave,” he whispered.
I couldn’t.
“I do love you,” I gently sobbed.
His eyes lit up like I’d just given him the best news he’d ever had. It still didn’t mean we had a chance, that I was willing to overlook his shortcomings.
He let his hands fall from my shoulders; one reached behind him, pulling a small baggy from his back pocket. “Here,” he said, handing it to me.
I took it, looking into the clear bag with confusion. “Is this the bracket I lost?” I asked.
He nodded.
“How did you even know what to buy?” I asked, still confused by the gift.
He reached back behind him, pulling a white piece of paper from his back pocket. “This is how,” he said, pushing the familiar paper in my direction.
I looked at the paper that I thought stored Jeanette’s phone number, but instead contained a part number for what I held in my other hand.
He moved towards me, so close I could feel the heat from his body. “You need to trust me,” he said sternly.
I couldn’t speak. I felt like an idiot. I was devastated and elated at the same time. He wasn’t a cheat. He was only getting information from her to replace my lost lens bracket.
Theo’s eyes burned into my soul as they pierced it with a passion I’d never seen. His hands gripped the belt of my robe, tugging it until it slid through the loops, and my robe fell open.
My breathing was rapid, my heart racing, and my pussy was already throbbing in anticipation of what was to come. He let his hands slide around my waist, pulling me into him with a quick thrust. “Promise me,” he whispered as he slid to his knees.
His hot breath surrounded my pussy as he took me in with his eyes. “Promise you what?” I gasped, willing to promise anything at that moment.