It was dark, but I could just make out the glint of tears welling up in his eyes just before he turned his head to look away. His forehead crinkled and he covered his face with his hand, muffling his soft weeping.
"Hey," I whispered, squeezing him closer.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just really sorry, Bau. I'm sorry for what I did to you."
I pressed my lips into his hair and kissed his head. "I get it. I'm not upset anymore. I understand."
"God, I just wish... I don't know." He lowered his hand and his eyes were glassy with tears. "I wish we could get all that time back."
I tasted him for the first time in seven years and found that nothing had changed. The shape of his lips on mine, the way that he kissed me back, pressing against me and drawing in a slow breath at the same time, it was all just as I remembered it. It felt like I was getting something I'd forgotten I'd missed back. Every memory had been rekindled and was bursting into my mind like tracer bullets fired into the night sky.
I grabbed him and pulled him up onto my lap. He straddled my waist with his thighs, and I tilted my head back to kiss him. He flung his arms around my neck, holding me close. I traced my fingers up his thighs to his waist and then his chest, reacquainting myself with the shape of his body. I'd thought about this so much. In my fantasies I'd mined the old memories to try and remember how he felt, and now I had him again. My head was swimming with happiness. I was drunk with it. I had him again.
He moaned softly against my lips. He was holding me so fucking tight, gripping me with his legs like he was afraid to be pulled away. I pulled his shirt up and tugged it over his head. He glanced over his shoulder to check on Gustavo, who was now fast asleep.
"We'll be quiet," I said.
"I'll try," he whispered.
I grinned. "We've managed in trickier situations."
It felt like I was in a waking dream. I flipped him onto his hands and knees, then I had his pants pulled down his thighs and my cock in my hand. It was quick and primal. We were starving for each other. I spat into my palm and used it to lube him. We both knew it would be painful, but we didn't care. We'd done it this way so many times before. We were moving in sync with each other, doing a dance that our bodies still knew all the moves to.
Ryan grunted as I entered him. He pushed his face against his forearm and bit into the skin, muffling his moans. His eyes squeezed tight and I thrust deep, grabbing his waist to pull him onto me. He hammered his fist against the ground.
"Fuck, Bau," he murmured. "Fuck."
I slammed into him over and over, my cock bulging inside of his tight hole. He reached down and stroked himself, still managing to stifle his cries.
All the old memories were melting away, now. I didn't need to cling so tightly to them anymore, because I had him again.
I leaned against him, pushing my chest against his back. He turned his head to meet my lips. I reached down and took his cock into my hand and helped him. I felt the way his body was reacting to my touch and to every thrust. His grey eyes locked with mine, and I felt everything I'd been missing. I felt completed. It was insane how incredibly right it felt to be with him. It'd always been that way and nothing had changed at all.
He reached back and slipped his hand behind my head, gripping a handful of my hair to pull me into a tighter kiss. We were wrestling with each other. Our sex had always been rough. We both were made alive by the pain. I moved my mouth to his neck, kissing and sucking and biting. Then he turned around and got onto his back, and I pushed his legs up and entered him again, fucking him face to face. He gripped my biceps with enough force that I knew they would be bruised. I fucked him deep, cranking his cock with one hand as I did.
He came first. His expression locked into a grimace as his cock throbbed in my grip and spilled hot come across my knuckles. His asshole tightened around me with the waves of his climax. He was pulling me into him, squeezing me, not wanting to let me go. My own orgasm hit me like a fucking lightning bolt. I pushed in all the way as my cock flexed and throbbed, finishing inside of him.
We stayed in that position, our chests heaving as we fought to catch our breath. My eyes never left his. I kissed him, and he threw his arms around me and held me there, pushing his tongue against mine.
"You've got nothing to be afraid of,” I said. “I would never, ever abandon you. You fuckin' hear me? Never."
He nodded and pulled me close.
We curled up together, spooning. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him tightly against my chest. I buried my face into the back of his neck, drawing in his warm scent. I realized that this would be the first time sleeping together in each other’s arms, the first time we didn't have to hide our love.
10
Ryan
When I woke up, the hut was empty. A steaming pot of coffee sat on the camping stove with a clean cup and an unopened MRE pack sitting next to it on the floor. The rusted-out holes in the hut's metal walls allowed in glittering streams of morning sun. I caught the sound of Gustavo's laughter and the splashing of water. I got up to pour myself a cup of coffee
Oof.
It'd been a while since I'd woken up with this kind of ache—a reminder of the night before. Outside, Bau was wading waist-deep in the pool holding Gustavo by his armpits, helping him swim around. I paused, taking in the scene. Was it strange that even though we were out here with our lives on the line, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way? Right now, I felt no fear. I wasn't worried about us. Maybe it was all just afterglow playing tricks on my mind. We were still very much in harm’s way, but I actually felt safe for once.
I worried, though, that it was a temporary feeling. That sooner or later the old fears would be back, and I wouldn't have enough strength to beat them. But I wanted to believe that maybe this time, I'd be okay.
I retrieved my camera and snapped a photo of them playing. Bau looked over my way and waved. "Good morning," he said.
I came over to him and sat on a rock by the water's edge and snapped a couple more photos. He got out of the water, cradling Gustavo in the crook of his arm. His rifle was propped up against a tree, and he went and got it and slung it around his shoulder. Through my camera's viewfinder, I watched Bau walk up to me. Click. Click. Click. Every snap of the shutter brought him closer. I lowered the camera when he was standing right in front of me, and he leaned down and gave me an easy kiss on my lips, like it was the most natural thing in the world. That kiss made it feel like we hadn't been apart for seven years.
"Before we leave I want to show you something," he said.
"Yeah?" I suddenly had all sorts of dirty thoughts that were stopped when Bau tossed me his rifle.
"I want to make sure you still know what you're doing with one of those."
I laughed. "I've had plenty of training."
"Okay. Reload. Think fast."
He threw a magazine and I caught it mid-air. In one quick motion, I released the mag from the rifle, slammed the new one into the slot, and yanked back the charging handle with two fingers to load a bullet into the gun.
He smiled. "Good. Now show me your stance."
I dropped into a combat stance, holding the butt of the rifle up to my shoulder. Still cradling Gustavo with one arm, Bau came over to me and kicked the ankle of my back leg, widening my stance. Then he moved behind me and raised the tip of the rifle just slightly, aligning the sight with my eyes. He got closer, his bare chest touching my back. I felt his crotch bump against my ass, and I drew in an excited breath. He gripped my arm with his free hand and used his chest to push my torso forward, slightly.
"Lean into it more," he said into my ear. "Keep the stock in tight. You'll absorb the recoil better." He reached around and pulled the rifle closer to my chest." I felt Gustavo reach up and bat at my hair, gurgling happily. "And don't do this chicken wing thing with your elbow." He slapped my arm, forcing me to drop my elbow down against my torso. "Jeez. Who trained you?"
"You did, idiot."
He laughed. "We
ll, either I did a terrible job or you forgot everything."
"I can count the number of times I've had to use a rifle on one hand, so probably the latter."
"Okay, good. It looks good. And your stance should be like..." His hand gripped my waist and shifted my hips, turning them slightly. He pulled me back against him, and now I could really feel his bulge.
I thrust my hips back and rammed my ass into his package. "Alright, now you're just fucking around with me."
He laughed and threw his arm around my waist, holding me close. I craned my neck back and found his lips. I could feel my cock stiffening inside my briefs. He popped open the button on the front of my pants and slipped his hand inside. I inhaled sharply when he touched my hard-on. His fingers curled around my cock, squeezing it tight and pulling it free.
"W-wait," I murmured. "Gustavo...?"
Bau made a little nest out of a blanket in a safe place amongst the rocks and placed Gustavo into it. Then he returned to me.
With the rifle in my hands, all I could do was grip it tightly against my chest as Bau stroked me. I pushed my ass against him, grinding on his cock. I was so fucking hard. His strokes started slow and languid, and he twisted his grip to pleasure every spot of my cock. He moved faster, drawing a moan out of me. I dripped with precome, coating the tip of my cock with every stroke. I couldn't help but rock my hips in unison with his movements. I reached back and wrapped my hand around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. My tongue lolled against his. I was in heaven.
"Fuck," I said. "It feels too damn good, you're gonna make me come."
"Then fucking come," he growled into my ear. "Come for me."
My cock flexed as the orgasm exploded through me. I covered his hand in my finish, and it continued to throb and drip out onto the ground. I relaxed against him, leaning back into his chest. He kissed my neck, raking my skin with his teeth. Goosebumps spread out across my whole body.
He lifted his hand to my mouth. I kissed it and licked my come from his fingers. He spun me around to face him and pulled my lips to his, tasting me with his tongue.
"I've missed doing that," he said, pressing his forehead against mine.
"Yeah? Me, too." I slipped my hands around Bau's neck.
We packed up camp, covering our tracks and leaving no trace of our presence. We headed out into the jungle, leaving the waterfall behind us. Bau had his GPS tracking beacon hanging from the side of his pack, which was providing live location information to his brother all the way back in Los Angeles.
As we covered more ground, I noticed the terrain changing. There was more variation in the elevation now, and we ascended up dark rocks overgrown with vines and trees. I recognized we were nearing the jungle cat's known territory. It was a small animal, just a little larger than the average house cat, and it favored the hiding places offered by rocky terrain exactly like what we were seeing. I snapped more photos and Gustavo, strapped to my chest, reached up to tug at my camera.
I'd never really given any thought to starting a family, to adopting a kid. Especially adopting a kid. I was too worried that I would screw up their life in some kind of self-fulfilling situation, and things would end up the way they had for me. I didn't want to be responsible for doing that to a child. But also, I could just never imagine getting to that point. Relationships had never been a consideration in my life, so how the hell was I going to think about settling down with a kid? But now, for the first time, it didn't actually seem so bad.
After several hours of hard trekking, we stopped to rest on top of a densely vegetated mound of boulders. Bau unpacked MREs and baby food, and I left Gustavo with him while I wandered off to get some photos of the birds hopping around on the jungle floor. I crouched down and aimed my lens. One of the animals, exquisitely colored with bright neon red patterns set into its plumage, looked as if it were doing a little dance, bouncing and spinning and puffing out its feathers. I snapped a few shots and followed it as it flitted across the ground.
I quietly moved away, looking for a new subject. I found a huge monitor lizard striding amongst the ferns, dinosaur-like in its appearance. I adjusted my camera’s zoom, and the autofocus caught some movement and shifted to focus on something behind the lizard. I froze in surprise. Down in the small valley at the base of the rocky hill, I could see three armed men walking in a line. I dropped, flattening myself against the ground. Through the telephoto lens I watched as they moved on. More men came into view, following behind them. They were moving in our direction. I rose to a low crouch and hurried back to Bau as quickly as I could.
"Food," he called, lifting up the MRE pack. I frantically mashed my finger to my lips. His expression changed, hardening into something fearsome. He rose to his feet, picking Gustavo up from his knee. I hurried over and took the baby and strapped him into his carrier. Bau flicked the safety off on his rifle and I drew my pistol. Using my hands, I indicated where and how many. He nodded and gestured for me to follow.
We moved slowly, staying hidden in the foliage. Bau raised his fist to stop me, and we dropped to a crouch. He pointed to his eyes and then straight down the hillside. There was a whole fucking caravan of men patrolling through the jungle. They were obviously searching for something, or someone. Bau and I exchanged a look. His jaw tightened.
They moved through the canyon, now almost directly below us. Bau held out his open palm and pressed it towards the ground, telling me to stay put. I nodded. He peered through his scope, following their movements. Gustavo was strapped on my chest, and he cooed softly as he reached for a shiny blue beetle crawling over a leaf in front of him. I grabbed his hands and quietly shushed him. He squirmed unhappily.
Please don't cry, I thought. Jesus. Not now.
The beetle spread its wings and buzzed away. Gustavo giggled and craned his neck to watch it. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of Bau's face. His eyes were locked to the scope, but I knew he was just as worried about Gustavo as I was.
The men stopped and some of them pulled out cigarettes. They were just below us now. Gustavo reached for the GPS beacon hanging off Bau's pack—it was bright orange with a blinking red light. This time, I just let him play with it. I couldn't risk him getting upset. He tugged at it and pulled it towards his mouth.
The men chattered and laughed, smoking their cigarettes. One of them produced a flask. A few of them sat around on the rocks. One of them pulled out a knife and picked dirt out from under his nails.
My heart was pounding. Bau hadn't seemed to have moved at all. He was like a statue, his weapon primed and aimed.
The bandit with the knife stood and to my horror, turned and started to walk up the rocks towards us. Bau lowered the barrel of the rifle, tracking him. I squeezed the handle of my pistol tightly in my sweaty palm, preparing for the worst. Then he stopped and unzipped his pants to urinate. All he had to do was glance upwards and he'd see us hiding above him.
It felt like a lifetime before he finished. He turned and went back to his group, wiping his hands on his jeans. The rest of them were done with their break. The knife-man shouted, rounding everyone up, and they all started to move on.
I released a long breath. Bau's rigid stance loosened, and he turned around. "Let's go," he whispered.
We carefully crept down the hill, moving as quietly as possible. Then suddenly, we were surrounded. Men burst out from the surrounding jungle with guns brandished at our faces. I dropped my pistol and Bau lowered his rifle, and we both raised our hands in the air. Gustavo started to wail.
The man with the knife approached. "You think we didn't know you were here?" he snarled in Spanish. "Hey. You understand what I’m saying?"
"Yes," Bau grunted.
"Who are you? Before we kill you, tell us what your purpose is here." He turned and pointed to me. "Hey! Someone shut that fucking baby up!"
One of the men drew out a pistol. I crossed my arms in front of Gustavo, turning my body to shield him.
"Hey, hey!" Bau shouted. "You don't want to do that."
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"Oh, yeah?" the boss said. "And why not?"
"He's important. He's an American. Both of us are. He's the son of a wealthy businessman, I'm U.S. Army. He hired me to escort him here. You can get one fuck-ton of a ransom for all three of us."
The man laughed. "Escort him here? For what reason?"
Bau shrugged. "He's a wannabe nature photographer. Don't believe me? Check the camera."
The boss nodded and one of his men yanked my camera off my neck. The man showed him the images on the screen, and the boss nodded. "Hey, he's pretty good. You came to a pretty stupid place to take pretty pictures of birds. He speak Spanish?"
"No," Bau lied.
Under His Watch: A Brothers Synn Novel Page 9