He exhaled. “I decided it wouldn’t help me to hate the guy, even though he probably deserves it.”
She searched his face. “How can you not hate him?”
Drew looked up at the canopy of leaves above him. “I realized it wasn’t fair to myself to hold onto those feelings. I deserved the peace that came with letting that go.”
“But he’s a jerk.”
“Hating him didn’t hurt him at all. Forgiving him didn’t either. But it helped me.”
Miranda didn’t say anything to that. She just laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
The dense foliage opened up and a large stone pyramid stood a few yards ahead of them. The guide turned around and started telling them about the history of the Mayans.
When she was done talking, she let them climb on the pyramid and take photos. Drew set Miranda down on one of the stone steps and sat next to her. He held up his camera and took a few shots of them together.
Miranda grinned at him. “Thanks for carrying me.”
“I didn’t have much choice. I guess I could have left you on the side of the road.”
She hit his shoulder. “You’re not funny.”
He sobered. “How does your ankle feel?”
She rubbed it. “It’s feeling better. I think I can walk on it again.”
He watched the strained expression on her face as she tried to stand on it. “Let me carry you back, and we’ll see how you feel after the bus ride back to the ship.”
She nodded. “Alright.”
***
Miranda closed her eyes and snuggled into Drew’s shoulder. She breathed in the smell of his cologne. Dang, he smelled good. And being close to him was making her heart do crazy things.
As he walked, she pondered what he’d said. How could he forgive his father, just like that? She couldn’t imagine it. She’d learned to suppress her memories of her own father, but couldn’t give him the satisfaction of forgiveness. He deserved her hatred.
But Drew had talked about gaining peace from letting go. She admired him for it. He was a kindhearted man. Her heart swelled. Drew would never leave a wife and young child. He was above that.
The gentle rocking of his footsteps made her drowsy. She tried not to fall asleep, but the next thing she knew he had stopped. “Miranda?”
She opened her eyes. They were back at the bus. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“How’s your ankle?” He sounded breathless.
“I think I can walk on it now.”
He set her down, and she carefully climbed the steps of the bus. The pain was manageable. “Yes, it’s much better.”
“I’m glad.” He put his hand on the small of her back while she walked to their seat. It was a comforting gesture. Like he was saying, “I’m here if you need me.”
The thought gave her a warm feeling as she sat down and made room for him. Drew was always there for her. No matter what, he dropped everything and made time for her. He always had.
She took him for granted.
She didn’t like that thought, but she was certain it was true. How could she have not known what Barry had done to Drew at prom? She should have looked for him. Should have pressed Barry about it. Why had she believed him when he said Drew had left? She frowned and looked out the window.
Drew was always there for her, but how good of a friend was she to him? How had she helped him? She relied on Drew way too much. But he never called her needing something. Was their friendship one-sided? Was she the one pressing the friendship?
She thought back over the past year. Drew hadn’t called her once. She was the one always making the call. Always asking him to do something. Was she that needy?
He was here with her because she asked him to be. Sure, he’d volunteered, but she knew he would offer to come with her if she told him about the cruise. It was just how Drew was. Easy to manipulate. Her stomach soured. Was that what she did? Manipulate him?
If she had stopped calling him, would they even be friends anymore? Was she the one stringing this friendship along? Was Drew just too nice not to tell her to stop?
“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” Drew said.
She turned to him. “Not really. The tour was awesome. Thanks again for carrying me.” She forced a smile.
His gaze held hers. “No problem.”
“It’s never a problem for you, is it?” Miranda almost gasped at the words that came out of her mouth. Why did she say that?
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean by that?”
“Never mind.”
He shifted in the seat to face her. “No, I want to know.”
The bus started up and pulled out onto the dirt road. Miranda didn’t know what to say to Drew. Why couldn’t she keep her big mouth shut? She sighed. “I sometimes wonder if you’re too nice.”
His eyes widened. “Is that a thing?”
Guilt wormed through Miranda. Why was she still talking? She needed to shut up. But the more she thought about herself as a manipulator, the more she hated herself for it. “Yeah. I think it is.”
His gaze hardened. “Like what, I’m annoying you or something?”
She shook her head. “No. I didn’t mean that. Ignore me. I think I’m just moody.”
He turned to the front of the bus, his jaw flexing. Great. Now she’d made him mad. And she didn’t even know what she meant. She was being stupid.
He didn’t say anything else until the bus stopped and people started getting off. “Do you think you can walk?” he asked.
She felt terrible for what she’d said, but wasn’t sure how to take it back. “Yes,” she said simply.
By the time she’d walked down the long pier and boarded the cruise ship, her ankle was sending stabbing pain through her, but she didn’t want to say anything. She’d already made him carry her through the tour. She just needed to go back to her cabin and rest.
She tried to hide her limp as she made her way to her room. Drew turned to her at her door. “What do you want to do for dinner?”
She bit her lip. “I think I’ll order room service.” It was an extra charge, but she really didn’t want to walk down to the restaurants, and she didn’t want to put Drew out anymore.
Drew steeled his gaze. “Okay.” He turned from her and went into his cabin.
Why had the day ended on such a weird note? She hadn’t meant to upset him. She loved his kind nature. But she also knew he would go out of his way to help anyone. She had to make sure she wasn’t taking advantage of him.
She hobbled over to her chair and sank into it, feeling like scum. Was she pushing too much onto Drew? What would he do if she pulled back? She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. She couldn’t lose Drew. He was the one constant in her life.
But she didn’t want to use him anymore. What was she going to do?
Chapter 22
Drew leaned on the railing and looked out at the sea. What had Miranda meant, he was too nice? Why had she suddenly become upset? He couldn’t figure it out. What had he done?
The burger he’d eaten sat in his stomach like a lead ball. Miranda had tried to mask her limping, but he wasn’t dumb. He knew her ankle was killing her. Why was she so stubborn? She’d limped the whole way onto the ship. And then she didn’t want to go down to eat. He wasn’t sure if that was because of her ankle or because she was upset with him. Too nice. He scoffed and pushed off the railing. He was such a sap.
As he walked through the shops on the ship he noticed a display stacked with painkiller bottles. He side-stepped around a woman and picked one up. Miranda had asked him for painkiller, so he knew she didn’t have any. Would she accuse him of being too nice if he bought her a bottle? Then the bandages caught his eye. He picked up an Ace wrap as well. Might as well be a total schmuck.
He bought the items and walked to Miranda’s cabin. He knocked on the door. No answer came, and he looked at his watch. Only seven o’clock. She couldn’t be asleep. He knocked louder
. The door opened and Miranda stood there, hugging herself and avoiding his gaze. Her eyes were puffy. She’d been crying.
He wanted to pull her to him, but wasn’t sure how she would react, so instead he held up the bag from the store. “I brought you something.”
“Come in,” she said, stepping back.
He walked past her and sat in the chair. She took the bag from him and looked inside. Her gaze softened. “Thank you.”
“Let me wrap your ankle. It’s the only thing I learned how to do in the two weeks I was in Boy Scouts.”
She snorted. “You only went for two weeks?”
He shrugged. “The kids made fun of me. I didn’t like it so Mom didn’t make me go back.”
She made a face, sat on the edge of the bed, and handed him the sack. “Kids can be so mean.”
He motioned for her to lift her ankle. “I understand. I wasn’t into sports like the other boys were. I just think they couldn’t figure out how to relate to me.”
“I suppose that’s true.” She lifted her foot and placed it on his leg.
“I’ll try to be careful. Does it feel better?”
“Yes, I think elevating it and staying off it has helped.”
He slipped off her sock and pulled the bandage wrap from the package. “Let me know if I make it too tight.”
“Okay.”
His fingers grazed her skin as he worked. She closed her eyes. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
She shook her head. “No.”
He finished wrapping her ankle, and gently set her foot on the floor. Then he popped open the bottle of painkillers. “You should take a couple of these.”
“Yes, mother.” A smile cracked her sober expression, and he laughed even though her words stabbed at him. She held out her hand, he shook a couple of pills out, and then he handed her a water bottle from the desk.
After she swallowed the pills, she motioned to her foot. “Thanks, Drew.”
“You’re welcome.” He studied her for a moment, then stood up. The awkwardness from earlier hadn’t dissipated, and he felt like it was time to go.
“Wait,” she said, putting her hand out. “I want to apologize for earlier.”
“For saying I’m too nice?”
She winced then nodded. “I didn’t mean it.”
“You meant it. I’m just trying to figure out exactly where it came from.”
She twisted her fingers and dropped her gaze. “I was feeling guilty for always calling you. Asking you to do things. You’re always willing to drop everything and come to me. I just. . .” Her voice faded and she looked up to him. “I take advantage of you.”
“What?” He sat down on the bed next to her. “No you don’t.” Where had she gotten that idea from?
She blinked back tears. “I’m always the one calling you. Asking you to fly out for one reason or another.”
Her tears made his chest feel tight. “That’s not true.” As soon as he said the words, he knew it was a lie. He had been pulling back. Because of Walt.
“Yes it is. You never call me anymore. I’m always the one bugging you, asking you to do things for me. You’re here, right now, because I called you.”
He wiped a tear from her face with his thumb, then cradled her cheek. “You’re right. I had stopped calling you, but only because you were engaged to Walt. I figured he wouldn’t want me calling you all the time.”
Miranda blinked. “You stopped calling because of Walt? Why? He knew we were friends.”
A lump formed in Drew’s throat. Why had he told her that? Now he had to come up with something plausible to say without telling her how he really felt. He swallowed. “I guess I figured if you were getting married, you’d want Walt to be your best friend.”
Miranda snuggled her cheek into his hand and closed her eyes. “That’s ridiculous. You’ll always be my best friend. Not even a husband will displace you.”
Drew didn’t know how to respond to that. Did Miranda realize what she was saying? Did she understand that their bond could be much more than it was, if she would open her heart to the possibility of them deepening their relationship? His heart pounded as he caressed her soft skin. What would she do if he kissed her? If he showed her how he truly felt about her?
Her eyes flew open. “You didn’t think I’d stop calling you just because I was getting married, did you?”
Miranda relied on him. She and he had a connection. How could she not even consider the possibility of them getting together? Of falling in love? He wanted to tell her how he felt, but the words stuck on his tongue. Instead he said, “Don’t you think you should have that kind of deep relationship with the man you spend the rest of your life with?”
“Of course, but I won’t give up our friendship. No matter what. You should realize that. You mean too much to me.”
He looked into her eyes. Couldn’t she see what was right in front of her? “And you mean the world to me.”
His gaze fell to her lips. If he kissed her now, maybe she’d understand how good they could be. How much he loved her.
She moved closer to him. “This is why I’ll never let anything come between us,” she whispered.
His skin tingled where he touched her. He was mesmerized by her lips and couldn’t help himself. He drew nearer, but paused before closing the rest of the distance, questioning his judgement at the last second.
Before he knew what was happening, she closed the gap and they were kissing, the soft silky feeling of her lips sending his heart over a cliff. He kissed her slowly, silently asking if she was okay with it. When she didn’t pull back, he deepened the kiss. His senses became hyperaware, and his skin zapped with electricity. How could Miranda not feel this? She had to be feeling what he was.
Fire ignited through him and his hands cradled her face. He didn’t want to stop kissing her. Her skin, her smell . . . all of it brought him to his knees. He couldn’t get enough of her. The world tilted as he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let go.
Miranda placed her hand on his chest and pushed him back. He broke the kiss. Miranda stared at him, her eyes wide, and he waited breathlessly to see what she was going to say.
Her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Drew’s heart sank. She was sorry? For what? Hadn’t she felt what he had? Couldn’t she see how they were meant to be together? “What do you mean?”
She stood and limped across the small quarters. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
He hopped off the bed. “What’s not a good idea? And you shouldn’t be walking on your ankle.”
She turned to him, her expression pained. “Forget about my ankle. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. We can’t . . . do this.” She pointed to the two of them.
A hollow feeling spread throughout his chest. She regretted the kiss? How could she not have felt the chemistry he did? He swallowed and took a step back from her. She hadn’t felt it when he’d kissed her as a teenager either. If she didn’t feel it now, she never would.
And if she never would, he needed to stop torturing himself.
“I should go.” He ran a hand through his hair.
She nodded. “I think that’s best.”
He turned to the door and stalked out. Pain stabbed through him. Miranda didn’t want him. Too full of pent-up energy to go to his cabin, he turned and jaunted down the stairs and headed for the gym.
He spent an hour lifting weights and working the machines, feeling the burn in his muscles. Why did he think anything could change how Miranda felt about him? Why did he even bother? He’d known her for years and not once had she ever considered him as anything but a friend.
He was in love with a girl he could never have.
He grunted and yanked the pulldown bar a little too hard. The weights jerked and clanged. He let go and ran a hand over his sweaty face. There was only one thing he could do: he had to tell Miranda they couldn’t be friends anymore.
He ha
d to cut off all ties with her. And he was really going to do it this time.
Chapter 23
The next morning Miranda paced her cabin. Her ankle was sore, but the pain was more manageable today. The wrap and painkillers helped. What really bothered her was the fact that she’d gone against all her better judgement and kissed Drew yesterday. And now things were awkward between them, just like she knew it would be if she crossed that line.
She was so stupid. Why had she done that? Now she had no idea how to act around him. Would he even want to be around her today? This was their last day on the cruise. No ports today, just sailing and the farewell party with the cast members. But would Drew want to spend the day with her?
A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts and she rushed to open it. Drew stood in the hallway, his expression unreadable. He was wearing a simple button-up shirt and jeans, but for some reason he looked hot. Like, really hot. Kissable. Dang, why had she ruined everything?
“How’s your ankle?” he asked, his voice low. It made her insides shiver.
“Hot. I mean, better. I should be fine.” She shifted her weight and stared at the carpet, feeling her cheeks burn.
“Can you walk down to breakfast or do you want me to go get you something?”
She swallowed. Here he was, asking to help her, when she was nothing but a jerk to him. Why was he being so nice to her? “I can walk.”
He paused, like he wasn’t sure if she was going to come with him or if she was going to go down separately. She grabbed her keycard and rushed into the hallway. Maybe she could smooth things over and they could go back to how they’d been. Maybe the awkward would dissipate.
As they walked, she debated saying anything. Finally, she couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “About yesterday. . .”
Drew held up his hand. “Let’s just pretend yesterday didn’t happen.”
Relief flooded over her. Drew was on the same page as her. Good. They’d just forget about the kiss and the weird stuff between them. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay.”
They found an empty table with an umbrella and sat facing the ocean. Seagulls circled overhead as they ate their breakfast. Drew picked up his coffee mug. “You don’t seem to be limping much anymore.”
Her Big Fat Foxy Billionaire Best Friend Page 14