“No, I’m just a girl who’s curious,” said Emily.
“We didn’t have cheerleaders in England; so we didn’t have a huge interest in sports,” Alex laughed.
“You know, some people play sports because they simply enjoy them,” said Frankie.
Alex looked directly into her eyes and said, “And some guys enjoy girls.”
“So were there any girls behind the air-raid shelter or at the canals?” asked Katie, smoking a cigarette.
Chase and Alex both looked at Katie and then each of them glanced at the other. “I don’t quite recall,” replied Chase with a grin.
“So I take it you guys were the bad boys,” said Emily.
“What’s ‘bad’?” asked Alex.
“Cutting class, hanging around,” she said. “What else did you do?”
“I wasn’t just hanging around; I was going places,” said Alex.
“Where were you going?” pressed Emily.
“Around,” said Alex. “I’d hitchhike here and there.”
“So, while you were supposed to be in school, you were actually cutting class to hitchhike around England?” asked Emily.
“School was a blooming joke. It didn’t teach me anything,” said Alex patting his chest. “Life became my education. The world was my classroom, and the occasional stranger was my teacher.” He paused and then pointed his finger sternly at Frankie, Emily, and Katie. “What have you really learned in school? Were you taught to think for yourselves, or were you programmed by your American Big Brother? You learned what those with power wanted you to learn, rather than the truth.”
Frankie, Emily, and Katie exchanged awkward glances. None of them knew how to respond to Alex’s protest. “And what is the truth?” asked Katie.
“Yeh can’t learn the truth unless you seek it for yourself. That’s what is meant by an education.” Alex tapped Frankie on the arm and asked, “And how about you? What was your life like?”
Frankie thought carefully before she spoke. “In the mornings I went to school,” she began, “after which, depending on the day of the week, I had ballet lessons or show rehearsals. In the evening I had study time and my chores. Mass was every Sunday, and every other Saturday my mother had me volunteer at the soup kitchen—she wanted to keep me humble.”
“Mass?” Alex laughed. “I gave that up when they wanted me to wear a robe and be an altar boy.”
“Jesus must have been really relieved,” said Katie smartly.
“Well, you’re probably going to hell, right?” asked Emily.
“No, I don’t believe that,” said Alex.
“Then what will happen to you when you die?” she pressed.
Alex paused contemplatively and grinned. “I’m going to be beamed back up to the mother ship. You see, I’m just here as an observer to watch over you sheep,” he said.
Frankie stared at him curiously. His hood was still pulled over his disheveled hair, and his eyes were dark with obvious fatigue. He certainly didn’t bear the appearance of a normal, everyday boy; he looked like a sleep deprived, alien thug. She didn’t know how best to respond to his comments. Finally she just stared directly into his eyes and sounded, “B-A-A-A-A-H-H.” Everyone laughed.
Soon everyone had had enough to drink and was close to passing out at the table. Katie went to the closet to search for extra blankets and pillows. She tossed several pillows and blankets on the living room floor, one for each person—except for Frankie and Alex who agreed to share a blanket.
Once the lights were turned off, Alex stripped to his underwear underneath the covers. He then lay down next to Frankie, turned on his side, and put his arms around her. She turned around to face him. They kissed quietly, assuming the others were asleep. Frankie always says had been an early bird, regardless of whether or not her schedule demanded it, or even if she had stayed up late the night before. Lying on the floor, she saw that everyone else was still asleep. She smiled, feeling Alex’s body pressed against hers and his arms around her waist. It was a moment she wanted to savor and remember. Studying his hands and long fingers, she noticed callouses and blisters on his fingertips—an obvious occupational hazard for a guitarist. She wondered if it ever hurt to play, or maybe he just didn’t feel anything anymore when he touched the strings.
Soon Gillian appeared from her bedroom, glowing with a big smile; she was the luckiest of them all last night. When Gillian disappeared into the kitchen, Frankie carefully slid from Alex’s embrace, covered him with the blanket, and headed for the kitchen.
“I heard you had a good time last night,” said Frankie, leaning on a kitchen chair, “In fact we all heard.”
Gillian blushed and started brewing a fresh pot of coffee. “Hush,” she said and sighed. “I never met a guy like Peter before. It was the best time ever.”
“Don’t fall too hard; he’s leaving tonight,” said Frankie, taking a seat at the table.
“And what about you?” asked Gillian.
“It’s not like that; we’re friends. He’s just this fun, crazy guy,” said Frankie.
“Okay, so you didn’t have sex yet,” said Gillian. She reached in the cabinet for two coffee cups.
Frankie paused and contemplated. “Do you think it’s possible to be so attracted to a guy that the thought of sex is terrifying?” she asked.
The coffee pot percolated. Gillian poured a cup of coffee for each of them before answering. “I think you’re already a goner, regardless if you had sex,” she said, handing Frankie one of the cups. “Milk? Sugar?”
Frankie poured a bit of milk into her coffee and the rested her chin on her palm. “What am I going to do?”
“You have two choices,” said Gillian, “You can take a chance on love, or you can give up without ever knowing. Alex may be the greatest thing in the world, or he may be the worst. How much do you want to find out is the question. How much do you want to risk for love?”
Frankie stared at the caramel-colored clouds in her coffee. “Love,” she muttered.
Gillian leaned over the table. “Yeah, Frankie: love. You always play it so cool with this guy or that. You always have the answer for why a guy didn’t make the Frankie Robinson grade. So what is it that’s keeping you from going all the way with Alex—not cute enough, not sexy enough, too tall, or too skinny?”
“I like him. What if I have sex with him, and I don’t like it? What if it’s bad?” questioned Frankie. “I’ve had sex with guy friends before and it dampened the friendship. It’s not the same anymore.”
“Man, you are a sorry square,” Gillian said as she took a seat at the table. “Start with the kiss. That’s the clue. If you’re not turned on by the kiss, then sex will be blah. Don’t even bother. If the kiss is hot, the sex will be hot.”
Frankie threw her head back over the chair and groaned. “Oh, shit.”
“You know what’s going to happen to you both?” Katie said, entering the kitchen and then taking a coffee cup from the cupboard. “You’re going to fall madly in love and be heartbroken when they’re gone.”
Gillian winked at Frankie. “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“Okay. So let’s say I might want to take it to the next level. What do I do?” asked Frankie.
Katie sipped her coffee and then laughed. “Tell him you want to get into his pants.”
Gillian slapped Katie on the arm. “No, just be yourself. Have a good time. It’ll happen.”
“And if that doesn’t work,” said Katie, “play the pants card.” She leaned over Frankie pretending to have a microphone before her mouth and sang:
Before I was done you wanted more
I can see the look
in your eyes
The devil himself was inside
Oh yeah my insatiable lady
Ooh my wanton baby.
Frankie smacked Katie and whispered, “Shss.” She peaked around the corner and saw Alex still asleep on the floor. It was true; she wanted to have sex with him, but it wasn’t proper to desire a man. True relationships started with awkward kisses at the front door, making out in the back seat of a Chevy, working your way up to petting and eventually (when the time was right) sex. Frankie, however, was not that naïve; she knew how the game worked and how men operated—not to mention she had given into previous passions for much less. What’s my problem? she and then looked to Katie. “Can I have a cigarette?”
Katie continued to tease Frankie by singing:
You wouldn’t let me rest
Instead you put me to the test
Tempting and teasing my all
Igniting my internal fire
My insatiable lady
My lustful baby.
“Shut up and give me a cig,” scolded Frankie.
“Good Lord! You didn’t even fuck yet, and already you’re asking for a cigarette. You’re thinking about this way too much. Come on, Frankie. It’s what you wanted—a guy from another hemisphere, right?” Katie laughed and then went for her purse and retrieved the carton of cigarettes for Frankie. “There he is, half naked on the floor. Go get him!”
Frankie lit the cigarette and took a long, cool drag. It was the truth and Frankie knew it. She grinned as she watched him stir awake on the floor.
Later that day the girls returned to the mansion with Peter, Alex, and Chase for an afternoon of swimming and hanging around the pool. They were finally introduced to the illusive pretty boy Robbie, who was sun tanning by the pool alongside a ravishing redhead; and Nick, who was still entertaining the songstress Cassie O’Brien. The only poor soul who didn’t seem to be receiving any feminine attention was Josh. Emily quickly remedied that.
It was a fun and relaxing day by the pool, but eventually Frankie came to realize that she and Alex were the only ones left. The sun was reflecting strongly on the pool water. Frankie adjusted her sunglasses. She checked her fingernails and then gazed down at Alex who was resting on his stomach. Due to his dark sunglasses, she couldn’t tell if his eyes were open or closed, or if he was even conscious.
“Alex!” she said loudly.
“What?!” he said, just as loud.
“Where did everyone go?”
Alex lifted his head and looked around. “Inside,” he said.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” she said, reaching for her bottle of soda and taking a sip through the straw. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” he said. He was quiet for a moment and then said, “Everything.”
“What does that mean?” she asked. “What is ‘nothing and everything’?”
“Everything and anything,” he said. “Random thoughts about this and that.”
“Such as . . . ?” pressed Frankie.
Alex turned over on his back and started fidgeting as he spoke. “Well, if you must know,” he began, “the band, the tour, you, and . . . well, all of life in general.”
“Heavy,” replied Frankie. She slid off her chair and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. “Let me ease your mind. I am here, there is no one else around, and I am all you should be thinking about right now.”
Alex peered up at Frankie. “You are all I’m thinking about right now.” He folded his arms behind his head. “So tell me, any other men in your life?” he asked.
Frankie was shocked by his directness. “Uh . . . no, not serious, anyway. I date a few boys here and there.”
“Like who?”
“I think you might know him,” she said. “Sammy Esposito. You toured with him last fall, right?”
“Sammy Esposito? Really?” Alex removed his arms from behind his head and looked away. “Hmm.”
“What’s the matter with Sammy Esposito?” she asked.
“I just can’t picture you with him,” said Alex.
“Why not?” she asked. “He’s attractive, talented; and he’s a nice guy.”
“He’s short,” replied Alex. “I bet you’re even taller than him.”
“No,” she said hesitantly, “In heels I am, but you can’t judge a person by his height.”
“If you say so.”
Frankie sat up and squirmed against his hips. “Alex, come on! I mean—I bet you’re dating someone back in England.”
“Yeah, but not Sammy Esposito,” he said.
“Okay, don’t get all weird and obsessed with this. I mean, it’s not serious or anything. It was a few dates, and you and I just met last night.” She leaned over and gazed down at him boldly. “Let’s get everything out in the open right now. Tell me about the chick in England.”
“Just a girl—nothing serious,” he said.
“Uh-huh . . . what does she do?” asked Frankie.
“Actress.”
“So, she’s pretty,” said Frankie.
“What’s pretty?” asked Alex. “She’s just a girl who happens to be an actress.”
“What has she been in? Have I heard of her before?” Frankie pressed.
“Mostly commercials, but she has had some spots on the telly,” he said.
“What’s her name?” Alex laughed out loud and said, “Sammy Esposito!”
Frankie grabbed his face, shook it hard, and screamed, “Crazy!”
“Yeah, and who are you to say so?” he questioned loudly, his face smothered beneath her hand.
“I am studying psychology in college,” she said, “and you can be my number one case study.”
“So, Frankie Freud, what is your diagnosis?” he asked.
“I don’t know yet,” said Frankie, “but you are certainly an interesting subject.” She looked down at him and said daringly, “How about you and I go inside with everyone else?”
“You want to go inside with everyone else?” he replied with a curious grin. “My, you are an open-minded girl.”
“Not that open-minded, stupid,” she said. “I want to go inside with you.”
Alex sat upright on the lounge chair and put his arms around Frankie’s waist. He kissed her and then said, “Okay.”
They slowly picked up all their belongings—clothes, towels, and drinks—and took them inside. Alex held her hand and led her slowly through the mansion and up the stairs. Each of them was aware of the pleasurable experience waiting for them at the end of this journey; but they remained silent, and couldn’t help feeling apprehensive and a general fear of the unknown. Neither knew quite what to expect once they reached the threshold of Alex’s bedroom.
When they reached the bedroom door, Alex opened it and stood aside for Frankie to enter. “Here we are.”
Frankie stepped inside and glanced around the room. It was unsuspectingly tidy—his bed was made, guitar cases were lined up neatly against the wall, and his shirts were packed in perfect squares in his suitcase. “Did your mother help you pack?” she asked with a chuckle.
“No, I did.”
She stepped toward the mirrored dresser and ran her fingertips over his comb. Looking into the reflection, she caught him staring at her in that way. Suddenly she felt an overwhelming sense of doubt as she looked at herself in her bikini and then at Alex in his swimming trunks. She wasn’t sure she was ready yet.
“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want,” he said finally.
“No. I want to.”
“Are you a virgin?” he asked.
Frankie chuckle
d. “Hardly.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asked. “Yeh know how this works and where all the parts are supposed to go. There’s gonna be no surprises. If you’re not a virgin, I don’t know why you’re acting so weird.”
“Acting weird?” She turned around, leaned seductively against the dresser, and glanced up at him. “You’re not nervous?”
Alex’s mouth broke into a wide grin. “I’m terrified.” He took a step toward her and placed his hands on her hips “Yeh should never hold back from what terrifies you the most. Confronting your fears is the only way to live.” He kissed her deeply and slowly.
Frankie placed her her forearms on the back of his neck as he guided her to the bed. She had never been with man who was so smooth, and on this occasion it was probably for the best. Before she could think, Alex had her out of her bikini and was already making love to her. This time, sex was much better than okay. She now understood what all the fuss was about.
It always felt odd to Frankie to be in bed during the day while the sun was up. It reminded her of younger days when she had to stay home alone, too sick to attend school. But Frankie was neither sick nor alone today. She ran her fingers over his tanned stomach and then looked into his eyes. “This was the first time I’ve ever had sex in the afternoon.”
Oh, really?” he said, sounding surprised. “So when do you normally have sex?”
Frankie grinned. “Whenever I want.”
“So, wanting to have sex in the afternoon was a first for you?”
“Actually it wasn’t when; it was who,” she said.
Alex turned his body to her and ran his fingers through her hair. “I know the feeling.”
“Why do you think most people have sex at night with the lights out?” she asked as she kissed his chest.
“Hell if I know,” he said with a laugh. “Most of the time I like to see who I’m fucking.”
“Is that we just did—fuck?”
Alex extinguished his cigarette and rolled his eyes. “All right,” he said, “we made love. But remember, it was your idea; I’m just doing my duty.”
Saying Goodbye (What the World Doesn't Know) Page 6