by Nicole Bokat
Natalie glanced back at the street, again, and saw nothing but traffic and a kid walking a French bulldog, a woman in a tangerine-colored dress. Maybe there had been nothing. Maybe there would always be nothing. Or maybe Isabel would resurface. She couldn’t predict. But, for now, the reality of her life was this: her show. These were her people, here for her.
Natalie turned away from the windows and walked towards the family and friends she loved.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to:
Caroline Leavitt for her fantastic edits, encouragement, and friendship.
Her support and generosity are what every writer needs—and few get.
Brooke Warner, Lauren Wise, and Shannon Green at She Writes Press for their professionalism every step of the way.
Caitlin Hamilton Summie for being such a wonderful, hardworking publicist.
Marly Rusoff for championing this book.
Kimmi Berlin, Meredith Finn, Abby Sher, Susan Shapiro, and Judy Batalion for reading this novel in various stages.
Tess Callahan for reading every single word. As always, she was bighearted and thorough.
Sasha Troyan, Suzanne Roth, and Caprice Garvin for being such supportive fellow writers and friends.
Brenda Copeland and Shannon Jamieson Vazquez for their excellent editing advice.
Sara-Kate Astrove for her keen proofreading.
Michelle Cameron, Jessica Levine, and Anne Leigh Parrish, fellow writers, for their kindness and advice.
Everyone in the “Sue workshop” who inspired me with their perseverance, even in a pandemic.
Noah and Spencer, wonderful sons, endless sources of inspiration and knowledge. I’ve learned so much from them both.
Jay, who has read more drafts of this novel than anyone should ever have to—and has kept the faith.
About the Author
Credit: Jay Lindell
NICOLE BOKAT is the author of the novels Redeeming Eve and What Matters Most. Redeeming Eve was nominated for both the Hemingway Foundation/PEN award and the Janet Heidinger Kafka Prize for Fiction. She’s also published The Novels of Margaret Drabble: This Freudian Family Nexus. She received her PhD from New York University and has taught at NYU, Hunter College, and The New School. Her essays and articles have appeared in The New York Times, Parents magazine, The Forward, and at More.com. She lives with her husband in New Jersey and has two grown sons.
SELECTED TITLES FROM SHE WRITES PRESS
She Writes Press is an independent publishing company founded to serve women writers everywhere. Visit us at www.shewritespress.com.
Water On the Moon by Jean P. Moore. $16.95, 978-1-938314-61-2. When her home is destroyed in a freak accident, Lidia Raven, a divorced mother of two, is plunged into a mystery that involves her entire family.
The Moon Always Rising by Alice C. Early. $16.95, 978-1-63152-683-1. When Eleanor “Els” Gordon’s life cracks apart, she exiles herself to a derelict plantation house on the Caribbean island of Nevis—and discovers, with the help of her resident ghost, that only through love and forgiveness can she untangle years-old family secrets and set herself free to love again.
Last Seen by J. L. Doucette. $16.95, 978-1-63152-202-4. When a traumatized reporter goes missing in the Wyoming wilderness, the therapist who knows her secrets is drawn into the investigation—and she comes face-to-face with terrifying answers regarding her own difficult past.
We Never Told by Diana Altman. $16.95, 978-1631525438. In the 1950s, when Sonya was fourteen, her glamorous, beautiful mother left her two teenage daughters for months, seeking treatment for a “stomach tumor.” The secrets surrounding this event haunt Sonya well into middle age, when she finally unravels the lies—which turn out to be not at all what she expected.
A Cup of Redemption by Carole Bumpus. $16.95, 978-1-938314-90-2. Three women, each with their own secrets and shames, seek to make peace with their pasts and carve out new identities for themselves.
A Drop in the Ocean: A Novel by Jenni Ogden. $16.95, 978-1-63152-026-6. When middle-aged Anna Fergusson’s research lab is abruptly closed, she flees Boston to an island on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef—where, amongst the seabirds, nesting turtles, and eccentric islanders, she finds a family and learns some bittersweet lessons about love.