by Chris Vick
A reef break.
“Up for a surf?” I said to Jade, thinking it might help her get over the no-lighthouse disappointment. Thinking it might stop me thinking about my dad.
“Do bears shit?” she said.
Jade found some deep part of the boat to get changed, away from Pete’s eyes. Mine too. I got into my suit. Plus boots, gloves, hood. The only bit of skin showing was my face. Jade appeared, looking exactly the same.
“You look like a surfing penguin,” I said.
“Right. Never heard that one before.”
We threw the boards in the water and jumped in after them.
I expected a shock of cold but felt nothing. The suit was tight, and warm. It didn’t leak like the old one. It was weird. I was in the water and I was totally dry. I had to get my head under just so I could connect with the fact I was in water at all.
The board was easy to get on, not like Old Faithful. But harder to stay on. If I didn’t keep moving, it sank underneath me.
We paddled through the rocks and blue-green shallows, then between the two largest islands, then on to the edge of the reef where the wave was. The water got colder on the edge, darker. It was like going over a cliff. A cliff with nothing at the bottom of it. Just darkness.
We moved out and round, coming to break from behind.
The waves were good. Glassy and slick, hollow and fast. Problem was, I struggled to catch them. When I did get one, the board skipped and skated underneath me. I couldn’t manage more than a couple of seconds before I fell off.
Jade was all over it. Wave after wave, while I flapped around.
“Didja see that?” she said paddling back into the line up, misty eyed and grinning, then turned and hooked into another one before I even answered.
“I ain’t going till I get some,” I shouted after her.
I meant it. I was going to get some proper waves. Even if it took all day.
I learned. Slowly. After an hour, I was getting rides. Long, walled up, clean, green beauties that started fast and got faster. Trick was not to do anything fancy, just stand, turn, glide. Watch the wall of water jacking up by my head. I could almost run my hand along it, it was so close.
“Oi,” Pete shouted, from the boat. It was a hundred yards away, on the opposite side of the islands and rocks we’d paddled through to get to the surf. Any wind and we wouldn’t have heard him, but the day was so still, his voice rang through the air like a bell. “Time’s up!” He was waving his arms, calling us.
“Shall we head back?” said Jade. Another peak was rising up.
“Nah,” I said as I lay down and started digging for the wave.
We ignored him. We weren’t going anywhere till the surf died, the tide ruined it, or we got too knackered.
When bigger sets came along, we paddled over them, so as not to risk getting creamed. Sat out back, I saw a wave was breaking off the largest island, about thirty feet offshore. There was a column of rock there, sticking out of the water. The wave was breaking off its edge. Small though. When a wave broke head-high where we were, the wave there was just an ankle-biter. I pointed it out to Jade.
“I’m checking it out,” she said, heading over.
“Why? It’s tiny.”
“It’s got potential.”
I didn’t follow. No point. The waves were good right where I was.
Like with the reef we were on, Jade didn’t go straight up to it. She paddled right around, into deep water, then made a right angle for thirty yards, round the rock column, so she’d come to the break point from behind.
When she was ten yards off the break, she froze, stopped, sat up on her board.
She was staring at something on the far side of the island, something I couldn’t see.
I headed over. As I came round the second island, I lost sight of the boat. That meant Pete couldn’t see us either.
“Oi!” Pete shouted. “Where you going?”
“Jade,” I shouted when I got near, “you all right?” It was odd how she sat there, not checking for waves, just staring at the island.
She raised a hand and pointed.
And I knew. I just knew.
When I came round the column of rock I saw.
A ruin. At the top of the island, set in a half-moon of rock. A square grey building, built into the stone. On top of it was the broken stub of what had once been a tower. Most of it was long gone, fallen into the sea, or maybe knocked over by one of those legendary ghost storms. But the square storage room at the base still stood, and the base of the old tower.
The ruins of a lighthouse.
The back of it was cut into the rock, so you wouldn’t see it from the other islands, or the sea between the islands and the mainland. From out to sea, the base of it – what was left – was hidden by the rock. Boats stayed well clear of this place, but even if you sailed right by, with the tower gone you wouldn’t see it unless you were either really close, or looking hard.
In front of it was a slope, leading down to a shingle beach.
We paddled to the beach, ignoring Pete’s cries. I heard the boat engine start. He was either going without us, or was going to bring the boat round the islands so he could get us. I had to hope it was the second option.
We left the boards on the beach, and walked up to the lighthouse.
“Holy fuckerama,” said Jade.
The door was iron, rusted. It took all the strength I had to get it open.
There was a small anteroom, like a hallway, then an open door to the base room. We walked into the cold and dark.
It was a storm-trashed wreck of a place. The roof was intact, apart from a hole where a rusting stairway led up into the sky. Patches of blue paint on the walls. In the corner, an old hulk of square metal, so far gone I couldn’t even tell what it had once been. And on the stone floor, sand and shingle. And rocks. From the beach. Brought up there by storms. By waves.
Jade’s excited voice echoed round the room. “The hole could be a chimney. As long as the rain’s not heaving down, we can make a fire against the wall and sleep around it. We can leave the wood and food in the corner. It’s amazing. It’s perfect.”
We went back outside and climbed round the back, till we stood on the highest point.
We shouted and waved at Pete. He was already bringing the boat round the islands to come and get us.
While we waited, we walked round the edge of the island, till we were facing west. Looking down at the reef.
“See those white-green shallows – that’s rock. It’ll peel nice off that, if the swell’s big and coming from the right direction. And…” Jade squinted, and cupped a hand above her eyes, looking into the distance.
“What is it?” I said.
“There’s a reef out there, another one. See where the water’s a lighter blue? “
I did. It was a few hundred yards off. A long way out to sea.
“That’s it,” she said. “That’s where it’ll break when it gets big. Not now, but a big enough wave will jack up there. That’s what’s on the mag cover!” Jade was grinning and started bouncing like an excited rabbit. She held on to me, gripping my arm tight. “We discovered a surf spot, Kook. They’ll name it after me… us. We’ll be in the mags. There’s at least three breaks, more probably, in the right swell. All we have to do is get footage, pics…”
I looked at the reef, and the endless pit of dark water beyond it. I couldn’t feel the same stoke Jade did about the place.
This was where my dad might have died. It was where I might die, if I didn’t know what I was doing.
“…and we can come back, with the surf mag and… You okay?” she said.
I nodded. I felt her hand, squeezing my arm. She wasn’t letting go. I put my arm around her waist. I felt dizzy.
From the surf, from finding the place, from her.
Jade took off her hood, letting her hair fall on her shoulders. I took mine off too. We stared at each other.
I put my arm around her waist again
. I pulled at her, gently. She moved into me.
We kissed.
She held my neck; I held her. Our bodies stuck together with just the wetsuits between. Wet sea creatures snogging. Our tongues exploring, tasting of the sea.
I don’t know how long we kissed. A long time.
It was proper this time.
I would have taken her to the lighthouse. Gone further. A lot further. Right there, right then. But Pete had brought the boat round the islands. He shouted out, “All right, lovebirds, time to go.” Jade let me go, laughed, and ran back to the beach.
We set about getting the waterproof plastic barrels in the water. We tied them to our leashes and pulled them behind our boards.
We left them in the storeroom. Ready for the day.
THE NEXT DAY we met Skip, Rag and Big G at the Old Chapel cafe to tell them about the islands.
The last time we’d been in was when I got busted and the woman who owned the cafe wasn’t too happy to see us. She worked hard at not smiling, clanking and banging the cups of hot chocolate and plates of scrambled eggs as she put them on the tray.
We sat down with our food and told the others – where the islands were, how we’d put the firewood, blankets and tins of food safe inside, how we’d surfed, how we’d checked the reef. I sat back, waiting to be blown away by how impressed they were. Jade was grinning.
“Well?” she said.
Big G let out a really long sigh. “Holy shit. This is real.” Big G never looked floored by anything. But right then, even he was a bit in shock. Wide-eyed about the thought of us doing it.
“That’s it then,” said Skip with a long sigh. “We’re going to surf the Horns.”
“Yeah,” said G, quietly. “We are.”
“You not excited, Skipper?” said Jade. “This is massive.”
“Yeah, but we don’t have to do it, right?” said Skip. “I mean, we can get there and then check it out. See if we’re up to it? Depending on what it’s like.”
I waited for the chicken noises, the cries of ‘puss-ee’.
But Jade put her hand on Skip’s shoulder, making sure she had his attention.
“Look at me, Skip. Listen up. No one has to do anything they don’t want. This is an adventure. We ain’t going there to kill ourselves. Right, Rag?”
“Yeah, man,” said Rag, laying into his eggs. “We’ll only take on what we can handle. And we’ll get in as much surfing as we can before the day.”
“You going to do it, Kook?” said Skip.
“Dunno,” I said. And I didn’t. Not really. But I thought, if Jade did it then I would. I didn’t want to be sat on the rocks watching those fuckers get the waves of their lives, thinking, If only. But I didn’t say that.
It was a weird moment. Suddenly we were talking seriously. Not taking the piss, or bigging anything up. But weighing it up, thinking about what we were getting into.
We were a bit grown-up about it.
But there was only so much being grown-up Rag could handle.
“I think we should celebrate,” he said. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handful of brightly coloured, leaflet-sized pieces of card. He waved them in our faces.
Jade poked Rag in his side, making him flinch, giving her a second to snatch them. She passed me and Skip and G one each.
It had a picture on it. A really old photo of a girl in petticoats, sitting on a swing, under a tree. But the picture had been messed with. The girl’s eyes had been replaced by sparkling blue diamonds. Streams of burning blues and acid greens flowed out of her skirts into an ocean that filled the bottom half of the flyer. On the trippy sea was printed:
World Famous Crystal Collective
Black moon party – All nighter
Friday 29th November
Tregiffian Peninsula, Cornwall
Venue TBC
Text yr number on the night to 07987 XXX XXX
Musical mayhem guaranteed
Ticket No 573
“What’s it a ticket to?” I said.
Jade rolled her eyes. “Crystal Collective! They’re DJ’s, surfers too. They put on parties. Bali. France. Hawaii. They’re legends. You can’t just get a ticket. You have to know someone who knows someone. People go mental. It’s a one-off. The chance of a lifetime. We have to go. Where’d you get them from, Rag?”
“Ned’s got a pile of ’em. He sorted the Crystal guys out with some boards. I nicked these before he counted them. We all in?”
“What if the St Wenna lot are there?” I said.
“Then we’ll get a chance to talk things through with Billy,” said Big G, with a sick grin.
“Um, Rag …” said Skip. “Never mind Billy. You don’t think Ned might notice we’re there?”
Rag waved this small problem away. “He won’t give a shit. We’ll turn up late; he’ll be on it by then.”
I’d never been to a rave before. Not a nightclub. Not a warehouse party.
I liked the look of this, just from the ticket.
Musical mayhem guaranteed.
“The 29th,” I said. “That’s my birthday.”
“Birthday!” said Jade. “I love birthdays. We can get a cake and presents and shit. Yeah. We can get you presents!” She was grinning. It was sweet. She was really into it.
“What you going to get me?” I said, laughing.
Rag put his arm round my neck, pulled me tight and ruffled my hair with his other hand.
“What am I going to get you, Kook? I’m going to get you off your face. That’s what I’m going to get you.”
*
I had to lie to Mum. Again.
“But, Sam,” she said, stood by the sink, peeling potatoes, “I thought we’d do something as a family on your birthday. I’ve got Brian at the pub to reserve a table.”
Mum kept mentioning this Brian guy. She didn’t say anything about him, but she kept mentioning him.
“Right. Well, maybe we could do that during the day,” I said. “But there’s a stargazing convention on at Plymouth Uni. Because there’s no light on the moon that night. A black moon, a one-off. The chance of a lifetime… You know I’d love it. Mike and Harry are up for it. It goes on all night. Then we’re staying at Mike’s.”
It was a perfect excuse for a geek like me. The geek I used to be. And as far as Mum knew, it didn’t involve Jade or ‘Stephen’ or any of the others.
“But I booked a table at the pub,” she protested. “I mean, I’m not sure, not after… what happened. I don’t know if I can let you go a whole night. And what about Teg?”
Teg came in the door, bang on cue.
“What about me?” she said.
“Sam doesn’t want to spend his birthday with us,” said Mum. That was harsh. That pissed me off.
“Why, Sam?” said Teg, her voice rising, heading for ‘upset’. I explained to her, said we could make a real fuss the rest of the day, I’d just be gone in the evening, after her bedtime, she wouldn’t miss anything.
“It’s okay,” Teg said, to Mum, doing a good job of hiding her disappointment.
“Please, Mum,” I said. Mum looked at Teg, like she was checking her face, and whatever it told her would make up her mind.
She put her peeler down, turned and faced me, suddenly calm, suddenly serious.
“And what will you do if I say no?” Her eyes were all accusing. The way she said it was sarcastic. She was testing me.
I should have just said well that’s fine. But I didn’t like how she tried to use Teg.
“I’ll go anyway,” I said. She raised an eyebrow.
“Really?” she said, quietly. She wiped her hands on her apron, then took it off. The potatoes wouldn’t get finished till this was over.
Me and my big mouth.
“Saaam!” Teg whispered, pulling at my hand. She was warning me not to upset Mum.
I had to change tactics, and quick. I walked over, picked up the peeler and started on the spuds.
“Look, Mum, all I’m saying is I really,
really want to do this. There’ll be more stars in the sky than I’ve ever seen. Ever. They’ve got telescopes I can only dream about. I’ll never get the chance again, and it is my birthday. I really want to go.” I smiled. Sweet as I could manage. I was making myself feel sick, I was sucking up so hard.
“And then he can tell us all about it?” said Teg, suddenly on my side, now I was making nice.
Mum didn’t look overly impressed. Hands on hips, eyebrow still raised.
“And…” I was searching now, looking for a trump card, “well you could get a sitter for Tegan, and go out anyway. She deserves a night out, right, Teg?”
“Yes, Mummy. That’s okay,” said Tegan.
Mum paused as this idea sunk in, and her mind chewed it over.
“Okay,” she said, “but we go to your grandma’s for an early evening drink. And you get back the next morning at a reasonable time. Stargazing. You really want to go?”
“Best stargazing experience ever. Guaranteed.”
She went to watch TV with Teg, leaving me to finish the spuds.
I’d done it. By lying.
Lying to Mum was normal by then. Lying was something I did every day.
WE WERE ALL IN. Me, Jade, Skip, Rag, Big G.
We got a bus to the Tregiffian Peninsula. It dumped us at a village called St Barts at half past ten.
The place was dead and dark.
There was no sign of any rave, or anyone who looked like they might be going to one.
That included us. We wore coats, jumpers and woolly hats to keep out the cold. And we were carrying sleeping bags, for wherever we ended up sleeping. We hadn’t planned that bit. We’d just see where we ended up. Chances were we’d be up all night anyway.
I wondered about Jade, about what she was wearing underneath her massive army coat. It went down to her knees. I could see she had bare legs, so had to be wearing a dress, not jeans. She wore a beanie that covered most of her head. She looked more like a tramp than a raver.
“We’ll get a text soon, saying where the rave is,” said Rag. Right on cue, his phone bleeped. He read the screen. “Port Barrow.”