by Ariel Schrag
“Where’s the pussy?” Office Woman said. And she started fluffing the girl’s princess dress up and down.
Sling Girl made a cooing noise.
“Where’s the pussy? Where’s the pussy? Where’s the pussy?” Office Woman continued in rapid fire between dress fluffs. She then reached into her bag and pulled out a Swiss Army knife. She popped the blade open and to Adam’s horror began stroking the woman’s vagina with it.
“There’s the pussy . . . There’s the pussy,” she said.
Office Woman dropped the knife back in her bag, rolled up her sleeves, and pulled out a latex glove, which she snapped on her hand. She took out a bottle of some substance and poured it all over the gloved hand.
“Is the pussy ready?” Office Woman asked.
“Oh, the pussy’s ready! The pussy is so ready,” Sling Girl said.
The next thing Adam knew Office Woman had inserted her entire arm—up to the elbow—into the woman’s vagina and was thrusting it in and out. He could see droplets of liquid spraying in the air as she thrusted.
“Oh yeah! You’re fucking my hand!” Office Woman yelled. “Keep fucking it! Keep fucking it!”
“This is boring,” said Nadia. She looked around. “Let’s go back to the front and see if anyone hot has shown up.”
The school of fish made its way back to the front, where a significant cluster of people was milling around.
“. . . It means fisting top. And black on the left is BDSM top. Those are just what’s most important to me.”
Adam couldn’t see who was talking, but he recognized the voice.
“Well, I’m looking for a sub, so, if you wanna try out tonight.”
The crowd shifted and Adam saw that it was Hazel. Two people behind her, he could see the corner of Casey’s hair and shoulder.
Fuck.
Adam whipped around. “Hey, is there a bathroom here?” he said to Gillian.
Please be in the back, please be in the back.
“There’s one in the back,” said Claire.
Adam began fast strides toward the back of the room without answering.
He could not have Casey see him. There would be no way to explain.
CASEY: “What are you doing here? You’re a boy!”
GILLIAN: “Bound is totally cool with trans folks!”
CASEY: “Trans folks???”
Adam felt on the verge of a heart attack. On the verge of an Ebola-like expulsion of all the liquids in his body from every opening.
What could he do? What could he do? What could he do?
He saw the bathrooms. A WOMEN sign on one door and on the door next to it a piece of paper with a handwritten Women sign taped over the MEN sign underneath.
Give up. Give up. Give up, a low voice chanted inside him.
And then he saw it. A little treasure chest on the floor between the two bathrooms. The sign above it read: FETISH WEAR AVAILABLE FOR USE IN THE BUILDING. PLEASE USE PROPER HYGIENE. RETURN HERE.
Adam fell to his knees and rummaged through the chest. He found a full head leather mask with only two eyeholes and a creepy Silence of the Lambs metal grid for the mouth. He pulled it on.
Ethan’s shirt. Casey might recognize Ethan’s shirt. He unbuttoned it as fast as he could and shoved it at the bottom of the fetish wear pile, praying no one would steal it. OK, could he go back like this? It was a sex party—it was fine to go shirtless, right? No! The trans chest. Gillian would be able to tell he didn’t have a trans chest. Adam continued his frenzied rummaging until he found a leather vest that snapped up, covering the area around the nipples. He slid it on. Pulled off his shoes and socks as well, just to be safe, and hid them at the bottom of the chest. He stood up. Barefoot, leather vest, head encased in the menacing leather mask. It was kind of crazy . . . but he felt like a superhero.
Adam strode confidently back toward the front. He passed the cross propped against the wall and saw that Hazel, with a deliberate, focused look on her face, was whipping a naked girl spread out across it. The girl was hot, too. Creamy skin and the hint of a stubbly pink slit underneath her ass between her legs. Adam had to force himself to keep moving and not stare. He thought back to Boy Casey at The Hole making out on that disgusting couch with some random girl, Casey crying on her bed at home. Why did Casey always date these assholes? He tried to see if he could spot her but couldn’t. He did see Gillian though, turning her head around, looking for him.
“Hi,” he said.
Gillian jumped.
“It’s me, Adam.” His breath inside the mask made the already-sticky condensation worse.
Gillian looked him over. Then started laughing. “Why did you . . . ?”
“I just found this stuff and thought it would be funny. Hope I don’t catch AIDS.”
Gillian didn’t laugh.
“I mean, I’m sure it’s fine, I . . .”
Her face broke back into a smile. “You are so weird,” she said.
A middle-aged woman in a bodice and combat boots began addressing the crowd.
“The Blowjob Contest will begin in fifteen minutes. Repeat: The Blowjob Contest is beginning in fifteen minutes.”
“Don’t know if you caught that,” Gillian said to Adam, “but the Blowjob Contest is beginning in fifteen minutes.”
“I thought it was ten, so now I’m just really confused,” said Adam. He wasn’t sure his joke worked behind the mask, but Gillian started laughing.
Gillian raised her finger. “I came expecting a Blowjob Contest, and god damn it I’m not leaving until . . .” She trailed off as they both kept laughing, Adam’s mask now drenched inside.
Then he saw Casey. She was standing against the wall, alone, staring over at Hazel and the naked girl on the cross. Hazel was now fucking the girl with her hand from behind. The girl was moaning ridiculously loud, obviously fake. God, shut up, thought Adam. He was still nervous that even in his costume Casey might recognize him—sibling vibe was just like that—and it also occurred to him she could possibly recognize Gillian; Casey had seen her briefly at the party after the Gay Marriage Rally. He was about to take Gillian’s hand and pull her somewhere else when Casey peeled herself off the wall and staggered directly toward Adam and Gillian, staring straight at Adam. Adam froze. Something in his body told him not to move. And then Casey stumbled away from them and over toward Hazel and Naked Girl. She was unbelievably drunk. Her path zigzagged in and out like a parody of a failed sobriety test. Adam had never seen her so drunk. He wanted to stop Casey from going over there, sock Hazel in the gut, put his arm around Casey, and take her home. His sister needed him.
“Do you know that girl?” said Gillian. She could tell he was staring. “She is trashed.”
“No. Don’t know her,” said Adam, and he turned away from Casey, as if bored. He briefly imagined slicing his own head off with a machete. No wonder the world is full of crime. It really wasn’t so difficult to become a bad person.
“Is that Adam?” said Nadia, loud.
“Shhh!” said Adam. “My name is Rölf.” Wherever the fuck that came from.
The gang was all circled together again.
“You guys have to vote for me and Jackie in the Blowjob Contest,” said Nadia.
Jackie squirmed. “I think the voting is just, like, how loud you clap?” she said.
“Oh, and, Kate, can we borrow your dick?” Nadia continued.
“What? No!” said Kate.
“I told you,” said Jackie.
“Why not? It’s not like it hasn’t been inside me before,” said Nadia.
“I’ve actually got mine, too. I’m packing it,” said Claire. “You wouldn’t mind, right?” she asked Lauren.
Lauren shrugged.
“Your dick is three inches long and lavender, so, no thank you,” said Nadia. “I really wanna win this thing. Come on, Kate. I love your dick.”
“I know you do,” said Kate.
Things got loaded for a moment and no one spoke. Gillian rolled her eyes at Adam.
“What about you, Adam, I mean, Rölf. You got anything we can borrow?” It was the first time Nadia had spoken to Adam directly, and it felt as if she were poking with her dirty fingers at his internal organs. He didn’t like her. It made him feel powerful, not liking this beautiful girl.
“No,” he said.
He wanted to look over and see what was happening with Casey and Hazel, but didn’t.
“Let’s just forget it,” said Jackie.
“Attention!” It was the bodice/combat boots woman again. “There are dildos available for those who need them for the Blowjob Contest. Please see me if you will be needing to borrow a dildo for the Blowjob Contest.”
“Go over there!” Nadia said to Jackie.
“What? Just go over to her?”
“Yes! Now!”
Jackie slouched in the direction of the woman. Adam looked back over toward the cross, but Hazel, Naked Girl, and Casey were gone.
“Check it out,” said Kate. She nodded toward a small crowd that had gathered around the drag queen who was on her hands and knees, her miniskirt pulled over her back, her fishnets around her ankles. She was wearing a black thong, and a woman with a buzz cut who looked about four feet tall was slapping the drag queen’s ass with a black paddle.
Adam knew the drag queen was a man. There was no way he couldn’t be. But when he looked at the thong area, it was as if there were nothing there. How was that possible?
“Do you think he’s had, like . . . genital surgery?” he said to Gillian.
“Either that or bitch has one fierce tuck,” said Nadia.
“Like when they push the penis way up inside the crack?” Gillian asked.
Kate grinned.
Adam really wished he could take his leather mask off. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
The Blowjob Contest was about to begin. Five teams lined up against the concrete wall. The boyish girls all had dildos hanging out from their pants or underwear. Jackie and Nadia took their place next to Hazel and Naked Girl. Adam still couldn’t see Casey anywhere. He wondered if she had left. Maybe she was on the subway right now. He didn’t like her alone on the subway at night in that short skirt and tight tank top. She would be fine. She can take care of herself. He hoped Hazel got mugged and murdered on the way home.
The bodice/combat boots woman blew a whistle from around her neck. Apparently she was the referee. The feminine girls dropped to their knees and went to work while the boyish girls leaned their heads back against the wall and performed expressions of intense pleasure.
Watching Jackie was painful. She was obviously miserable but trying to put on a good show for Nadia. Jackie bobbed her head up and down, saying, “Oh, yeah, uh-huh, yeah.” The way she bobbed, her glasses kept slipping off, and she had to keep pushing them back up with her hand while she moaned.
The bodice woman blew her whistle again. The contest was over. How on earth were you supposed to judge a thing like this? It was all an act, and the dicks weren’t even real. Adam felt like grabbing the whistle, blowing it, and addressing the crowd, “Excuse me, yes, um, you’re all COMPLETELY CRAZY.”
But there he was, barefoot, in his leather vest and fetish mask, pretending to be a transsexual. So be it.
The crowd clapped for each of the teams, and the bodice woman yelled, “The winner is . . . Team Nadia and Jackie!” She handed them a cheap little kid’s karate trophy with a bachelorette-party penis pop glued on. Nadia looked euphoric. Hazel looked pissed. Good.
The mask was killing Adam. He thought maybe he could take it off now that Casey was gone but didn’t want to risk it. He squeezed Gillian’s hand and told her he was going to the bathroom; he could at least take it off for a moment in there.
Adam stepped into the bathroom, which only had one stall and a small outside sink area. Someone was using the toilet. A large fart erupted from the stall and Adam cringed. Something about women farting was just so much grosser than men farting. He gagged a little behind his mask and was about to leave when he heard the person’s voice. She was on the phone and it was Casey.
“Yeah, I just really wanna see you. I don’t know, I miss you . . .”
He could tell she was trying not to sound as drunk as she was. Adam knew he should leave immediately. If she opened the door, it would be all over. But he had to find out what she said next.
“Yeah, come here. . . . It doesn’t matter, just come now. OK. . . . I can’t wait to see you. Bye!”
Adam was out the door. Boy Casey. She was bringing in Boy Casey.
Adam wondered if he could suggest to Gillian that the two of them leave. The thought of what would happen next—Would they go back to her place? Would they make out? Would they . . . ?—made his chest clench up again.
“Hey.” A girl was standing in front of him. She was pretty and dressed normal in jean shorts and a T-shirt, except for a spiked dog collar hanging loosely around her neck. Adam recognized it from the treasure chest.
“I’m just . . . I saw you when you first walked in,” the girl continued, “and I thought you were really, really cute, and you look, like . . . really sexy in that mask, and I was wondering if . . . you wanted to play?”
Adam thought back to being a kid and how you would ask someone, “Do you want to play?” It had been the most normal question in the world, and then at some point, he couldn’t remember when, it was something you would never dare say. It became, “Do you want to hang out?” But it wasn’t just a change of words. It was an actual change of activity. Adam used to get so excited he would shake just thinking about going to Brad’s house and playing Knights and Swords—this elaborate imaginary game they’d invented that used Brad’s entire house and backyard as a playing field. But then at some point it became “hang out.” And that’s what they would do. Hang out and watch TV. Hang out and play video games. Their bodies hanging over various pieces of furniture.
Adam saw Gillian watching him and the girl. He couldn’t read Gillian’s expression, though. Which is why he loved her. Because sometimes, usually, he had no idea what she was thinking.
“Thanks for asking,” he said to the girl (god, that sounded obnoxious—what was he supposed to say?), “but I’m here with my girlfriend.”
Gillian was definitely not his girlfriend, but Adam was feeling bold and cocky. This girl thought he was cute, thought he was sexy, and Gillian was watching, waiting for him. He was an object of desire.
“OK, cool,” said the girl. “I mean if she wanted to join in . . . I’m sure she’s really hot to be with you . . .”
Adam glanced at Gillian. He imagined kissing the two of them, two pairs of tits mashed against each other, Gillian’s tongue in Dog Collar’s mouth. His dick, which had been utterly unmoved by the Blowjob Contest, began pressing up against his jeans. He couldn’t risk it. What if this girl just suddenly shoved her hand down his pants—god, that would feel amazing—but it was too risky. He needed to stay in control. He imagined his lie as a delicate caterpillar crawling between his cupped hands—any quick movement could crush it.
“Maybe next time,” he said. And he walked back over to Gillian.
“Who was that?” she asked.
“Just some girl,” he said. “She wanted to play, but I told her no.” God, he was starting to sound like Brad.
“What?!” said Gillian, with a huge grin. She tried to get another look at the girl and linked her arm into Adam’s. “You’re my Rölf.”
They headed back to the group. Jackie and Nadia were planning “the scene” they were supposed to perform for everyone as part of being winners. Nadia wanted Jackie to chase her around the castle, push over the cross, and then fuck Nadia on top of it with Nadia’s own high-heeled shoe.
“It could also be kind of sexy if we just slipped out now and everyone wondered where we went,” said Jackie.
“Balderdash and Settlers of Catan,” said Nadia, apparently reminding Jackie of something.
“I guess we have to stay for their scene,” said Gillian to Adam. “Then
we can go. I really wanna get you home.”
Adam’s heart seized.
Jackie and Nadia’s scene began with an announcement from Bodice Whistleblower. Everyone crowded around to watch. Jackie, as instructed, started chasing Nadia in and out of the castle. It looked like Jackie was dissociating in order to get through it. The things one does for a beautiful girl, thought Adam. Jackie probably thought she could never do better than Nadia. Looks-wise, she probably couldn’t.
Hazel, still pouting over having lost the Blowjob Contest, watched the scene with arms folded and a judgmental look on her face. Her expression quickly changed, however, when Nadia grabbed Hazel’s arm and pulled her into the center with her and Jackie.
“Double team!” Nadia screamed. Hazel flew into action, picking a stray whip off the ground and cracking it in the air while fist-bumping a bewildered Jackie.
Adam looked around for Casey and spotted her against the wall in the back, slumped over, still clearly wasted, her roving eyes tracking Hazel. He hoped Boy Casey would get here already.
And then in walked June. Blubbery, bull-nose-ringed June, wearing her baggy I’LL GO DOWN ON YOUR SISTER T-shirt. She looked around, nervously fingering one of the flyers that had been on the front table that everybody else had ignored.
What the fuck was she doing here?
Hazel and Jackie were pretending to kidnap and gag Nadia. Casey, spotting June, brightened and walked toward her. It was June she had called on the phone. Positioning himself behind Gillian, Adam stared as Casey threw her arms around June’s neck and gave her a giant open-mouthed, drunk-as-fuck kiss. From the look of surprise on June’s face, he knew it was the first. Casey backed off, and June stood there, glowing, with a cartoonishly goofy smile that stretched beyond the limits of her face. June took Casey’s hands and leaned in to try to kiss her again, but instead Casey dragged June in the direction of the packed circle. She pushed through the three-deep crowd, right into the center where Jackie and Hazel were taking turns whipping Nadia’s ass.
“Excuse me,” said Nadia, uprighting herself and looking at Casey and June, “we’re in the middle of a—”