“It doesn’t. He was a good person sober, but when the alcohol took over… it all went downhill. There wasn’t anything me or Dina could have done to stop him. We tried taking him to AA, we tried having a therapist talk with him. Even Pastor Abbott. He didn’t listen to anyone—not for a long time, anyway.”
Vincent thrust his fingers into his hair, pacing the floor as if he were expecting urgent news. “I wasn’t here. If I had been—
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Can’t you see? I know in your head you believe your presence would have made a difference, but damn it, he was sick. You aren’t a cure.”
“No, but I’m a man. A strong man,” he said loudly, the virtual equivalent of a lion puffing his chest. “I would have made him—
“You don’t have that power. You could have what? Forced him into a rehab program, paid your ass for it, then the second he’s out, he drinks again? What then?”
Vincent sat on the loveseat across from her, his feet drumming on the floor. “Then I would have known, damn it. I’d have helped. Done something,” he said, burying his face in his hands. She clasped the sheet on her chest, dragging it with her, and surged to her feet. A few minutes ago she’d been exhausted, but now resolute, she felt energized and she walked up to him. She was done letting Clint have a say in her life, even after his death.
“Look at me,” she demanded, yanking his hand off his face. “You feel guilty because you’re a decent person. Maybe you shouldn’t have left them when he was younger, but one mistake doesn’t dictate your entire life. Why did you go anyway?”
A shade of red flickered in his eyes. His entire face hardened, his expression sober. “I wanted better opportunities. Economy was really bad back then, and it was hard for me to make a living here. Dina put her foot down and said no. She didn’t want to leave, and we were already having problems with raising Clint. She pampered the boy too much,” he said, then glanced away. “Didn’t let me parent him the way I wanted, with consequences for bad behavior. After I left, I kept in touch, and visited for the holidays for a number of years. I paid for his ticket to go see me in NY, but he only came once. From the moment he got off that plane, his mind was set on hating everything.”
“He was a teenager.”
He curled his fingers into a fist that she imagined he’d land on his own face. “Yeah. I tried. Not hard enough, obviously.”
“Look at me,” she said. “You didn’t leave him after he was born and never looked back. You wanted to build a better life for your family, and you have. You aren’t a monster.”
“Thanks.”
“Please promise me you won’t torture yourself for all the what-ifs. We can’t rewrite our past, but we can control our thoughts about them.”
“Sorry. You’re right. I don’t talk about this stuff much.”
She caressed his cheek. “I know. Because you’re a big, strong man, right?”
He traced his finger down her nose. “That’s right. A fucked-up big, strong man.”
Her heart fluttered. Joy welled up her throat, even if they were discussing a subject that was not particularly happy. He trusted her, and showed her his vulnerable side—for once. She outlined his shoulder blades. “I wouldn’t mind seeing more of this man.”
“Good. Because I’m getting to show you a whole lot more than I meant to.”
She hoped he’d meant it… because a part of her clung to his words like an armadillo to its shell.
“Howdy.” Bob, Josh’s dad, said as the chime of the shop announced his presence.
The best—and most honest—car mechanic in town, Bob towered over most folks. He was in his late sixties, and carried his weight well. He fumbled with his buckle, while glancing down at the cupcakes on the glass display.
“Can I help you?” Natalie asked. She’d seen him across the street in his shop, but he didn’t come often to actually buy sugary stuff.
He gave her a smile that creased the area around his gentle blue eyes. “Is Dina in?”
“No, she’s running late. She’s usually here this early,” she said, looking at the clock. “Do you want me to give her a message?”
Bob finger combed his mostly white, full head of hair. “I saw her at bingo last night, and remembered she likes peaches. So I was driving today, and bought some on the side of the road,” he said, then brought a small box of fruit to the counter. “Got some for her.”
Natalie stared at him, surprise rolling down her throat. Bob had a crush on Dina. Why else would he be all nervous, and bring her peaches first thing in the morning? She glanced at the soft, nicely ripened fruits. “I’ll be happy to give her these.”
“Thanks. Tell her I hope she enjoys them,” he said, stepping back.
“You bet.”
Bob scratched his head, then looked at her again. “Don’t tell her that. Just say they’re from me,” he said, as a wave of red quickly spread across his cheeks.
“You got it. I’m sure she’ll love them,” she said with a cheerful voice. She didn’t dare to bring up the subject or make things awkward for him, but shit… Dina deserved someone to love. She was such a nice, warm woman with a lot to give. Maybe that’s why she butted in Natalie’s life so much… she cared. And it was high time she had someone special to care for.
I sure do. Despite trying to talk herself out of her strategy to keep her relationship to Vincent strictly sexual, a part of her knew she cared for him.
Her cell phone beeped, and she fished it out from her apron. A text from Vincent.
There’s a carnival fair out-of-town this weekend. Wanna go?
Chapter 7
“I love it here,” Natalie said, as they walked past a huge graffitied wall. A band played country music on the stage. The amount of bright colors from the light bulbs, rides and arcade games could make anyone dizzy. Yet he kept his focus on her, his Natalie.
Earlier that day, he’d seen the commercial for this place on TV. An impulse to use the excuse of the carnival, and take her to a town over for the weekend hadn’t allowed him to continue remodeling the house. Now, as he looked at her, beaming in her green dress, he knew he’d made the right choice.
He’d chosen to wear a pair of jeans and a plaid button-down shirt. Although this town was only thirty minutes from Suarez, in his mind, they were on their own planet. A place where no one knew him, or her. A place they could just be. Together.
She grabbed a piece of blue cotton candy from the plastic bag she’d been carrying, and brought it to her lips. What if their fling didn’t need to end? What if she came back to New York with him? Sure, he didn’t live in the city, but it was a hell of a lot better than Suarez. She could take pottery classes, he’d seen a few of the pieces she’d done when he’d moved some junk from a closet. Even if she didn’t stay with him later on, she’d have more of a future in a better place, and he could make sure she had everything she needed.
Who am I kidding? He wanted her by his side. He was a selfish, dirty old man.
“Hey,” she said, touching his chin. “I have a secret to tell you.”
“I’m all ears,” he said, angling his head.
“I’m not wearing any underwear under this dress.”
The kind of secret he enjoyed. A hard blow of lust hit his gut, and stirred his groin. He looked around, at the people in line for snow cones, the families trying to shoot fake ducks in hope of winning big teddy bears. What the hell did she expect him to do with that information? He lowered his hand to her ass, touching it quickly, to double-check the information she’d given him.
Yup. No underwear. Just the soft material of the dress and her lovely ass.
“Come with me,” he said, holding her hand in his. The contact raised his internal temperature to a hell-like level. She gave his hand a squeeze, and when he peered at her, urgency gleamed in her eyes.
Where could he fuck her? Too many people loitered in the parking lot. He marched through the place, hoping for an idea. The hammering of his heart muffled the sounds of laugh
ter, the loud music, everything. There were several portable restrooms lined up, but a few people waited their turn to use them.
At the end, a few feet from the bustle from the fair, there was a box about twice as big as portable potty, and it looked different. Superhero characters had been sprayed on the outside. A big CLOSED sign hung from the door. Looked like a ticketing booth they no longer used.
Enough privacy, and far away from the crowd. No one would notice them.
He tugged at her hand, taking her to the perfect spot, and she matched his stride. He glanced both ways before pressing into the door until it gave out. Yep, he’d been right. The place was an old ticketing stand, complete with a metal counter and a broken stool. He doubted the counter wouldn’t give out if he sat her on it.
So he shut the door behind them, wanting to make the most out of the time they had. He pulled her to him, thirsty, hungry, and desperate for her. When she’d called him a big strong man the previous night… he’d almost told her that all his self-control disappeared when she came around.
He kissed her with all he had, and she matched his passion, stroking her hot tongue on his. He slid his hand down her dress, lowering it so her breasts popped out. She let out a moan, and he disengaged his mouth from her to shush her. “What if someone finds us?” she whispered.
“As long as we get off first, I’m okay with being arrested.”
She chuckled.
He pressed her against the wall, and she splayed her hand on the metal. Suppressing a groan, his hand glided down her back, bunched her dress at her waist. He meant to simply nudge her thighs apart, but the smoothness of her ass enthralled him, and he fondled her butt. When realization dawned on him, he was about to pull his hand away when she rocked her hips into him.
She tossed him a naughty glance over her shoulder. “You can touch me there if you want.”
Damn it, had he been so obvious? He didn’t want to force her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. “Your body’s like an amusement park. There’s a lot to see and do, darlin’.”
He created an invisible pattern on her butt cheeks, palming her flesh and applying enough pressure to warm her skin. Hell, to warm up his skin.
He sank his teeth into her shoulder, loving how she sighed out loud. God, he… he needed this woman. Not just for sex—he needed her near him, to see her infectious smile, and to help him open up about personal shit that he hated, as if they were the most natural things in the world.
“Goddamn it,” she said, pulling him from his thoughts. “You always drive me so crazy.”
He pulled her hair and kissed her. She arched into him, obviously needing his touch. She needs me as much as I need her. God, he hoped it was true.
He cupped her breasts, catching her nipples between two fingers, squeezing the tight buds. She moaned, louder, and he lifted his hand and covered her mouth. “Shhh… quiet so we can fuck,” he demanded.
A stronger shot of arousal rolled through him, and he tugged at her nipples, willing to give her the same kind of urgency. He lowered his hand down the indent of her waist, then he used his index to part her folds and touch her pussy, feel her wetness.
“Woman,” he said gruffly. “You’re soaking wet.”
He nudged her thighs apart with his leg, and placed her hands against the metal wall. Then, he positioned his cock between her legs, poking at her entrance. She rocked her hips backward, welcoming his intrusion, and he began to plunge harder into her. That sensual, carnal rhythm intensified, and for a moment it was if he didn’t dictate the pace, but their bodies followed their urges and did their own thing.
He covered her hands with his, and entwined their fingers. The contact must have done it for her, for she bucked and spasmed. He tightened his grip on her hands, and retreated halfway to thrust into her one more time, deeper. When he released himself in her warm pussy, his head bobbed, his fingers loosening their hold on hers. One thought, though, came to light and cemented within him—he had to find a way to convince her to return to NY with him. Going back home without his Natalie made absolutely no sense, and he’d make her see that, come hell or high water.
Natalie strolled in the park alongside Vincent. They held hands, and a silly sensation traveled through her. Two weeks ago, her life had been so different. Now, she didn’t need anything else. A feeling of completion blossomed inside her.
“What you thinking?” he asked, when they neared a quiet place near a lake.
A few feet from them, a couple of children threw small pieces of bread to the ducks, giggling to each other. She basked in the lightness of the moment, appreciating her weekend with him away from Suarez and the worries it brought them.
“You like kids,” he said.
She blinked, and realized he was studying her profile intently. “They’re adorable. You never, huh, wanted to have more, even after…?”
He shrugged, then tore his gaze from her and watched the still water. “For a while, I thought I didn’t deserve a new beginning. Now I wonder if a new beginning wouldn’t have given me a shot at happiness.”
She swallowed, and fought the urge to lean into him and hug him until her bones ached. “We all deserve a second chance.”
Vincent nodded, more to himself than to her, then regarded her. “You’ve taught me that, Natalie. Your openness and forgiveness. I can tell Clint hurt you really bad, and you’re only telling me a fraction of it.”
She sucked in a breath, apprehension clogging her throat. Should she deny it? She’d told him enough to paint Clint in a bad light, sure, but not because she meant to tarnish the memory of her late husband. She’d told him as a way to make him understand she deserved joy too, and so did he. “He was a lost soul. I don’t have much of a relationship with my parents anymore. They both moved from Texas and call once in a blue moon. Maybe that’s why I stayed for so long, too. I needed someone.”
“And now?”
I need you. “I’ve been on my own for years. I know I can survive, even if my house is a hot mess and my finances suck,” she said, then fidgeted with her sterling silver necklace. “I don’t want to just exist, though. I want to live life to the fullest… to love. To make the best of it all.” Tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes, and she blinked them back.
Oh, great. Now he’s going to think I’m a train wreck. She glanced down at her sandals, at the grass, and folded her arms, unsure of what to do. He touched her chin, lifting it, so she had no option but to look at him.
The sun shone above his head, and shadowed his expression a bit. Maybe this was when he’d end everything. Maybe her hunger for more scared him off.
Nausea churned in her stomach, she unfolded her arms and pressed a hand on her belly, willing the queasiness away. Get a hold of yourself, woman. “If-if you want to—
He covered her lips with his index finger, shushing her. Then, he dropped one hand and touched hers, massaging her fingers, dispelling some of her tension. She hoped he didn’t notice how clammy her palms were. “I’m done with the roof, and the flooring. Won’t take me long to finish the paint and a couple of other things,” he said.
Her heart skipped a beat or two. “Yes.”
He tilted his head lower, but didn’t dip it to kiss her. “When I leave Suarez, I’d like you to come with me,” he said, with a trace of anxiety in his voice. “Let’s give ourselves a new beginning in New York. You can take pottery classes there, get better, then do whatever the hell you want to do.”
She parted her lips, but no sound came out. An internal euphoria took over her before finally making its way out. Her heart did a backflip in her chest, as she squealed without a care in the world. “Yes. Yes!”
He chuckled, and pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as if they hadn’t held each other in a long time. “Are you sure you don’t mind coming with me?” he asked, caressing her hair.
She kissed his cheek. “I’ve been wanting to leave for a long time. There was always something lacking for me to take the final step and
do it. It’s been you, Vincent,” she said truthfully. “And I’m not afraid to admit it.”
Chapter 8
“How was your weekend?” Dina asked.
Natalie wiped the glass counter, then reached for the Windex and sprayed a bit more into the rag. “It was good,” she said, rubbing the rag onto the smooth surface a tad harshly. Anything to keep from looking at Dina.
“When you asked for Saturday off, I wasn’t sure what to think. You never go anywhere,” Dina said behind her. “Did you meet someone?”
Natalie swallowed. When she’d agreed to leave Suarez with Vincent, she’d asked him for time so she could break the news to Dina. They needed to finish remodeling the house anyway, before putting it on the market. He’d help her, and she’d take the money she made from the sale with her to New York and begin a new life. “Sort of. How about you, did you enjoy those peaches?” she asked. Ever since Bob had dropped by with the box of fruit, she’d teased Dina about it, wishing that Dina would seriously consider going out with him.
“Yes. Bob wants to take me out for dinner.”
Hope filled Natalie’s heart. She turned around, eager to see Dina’s reaction. “That’s great. When are you two going on a date?”
Dina removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. When she opened them, they didn’t show that glint of joy one would expect. A sigh flew from her creased lips, and apprehension flashed in her eyes. “I told him I’d think about it.”
“Why?”
Dina glanced around, as if to ensure no one heard them. The only customer sat at a small round table next to the exit, and seemed absorbed in the suspense novel she was reading. Then, she leaned closer. “I’ve been thinking about starting over with Vincent, and I don’t know how well dating Bob plays into that.”
Her blood froze. “Start over with Vincent?” Natalie repeated, the words barely leaving her lips. Low. Sad.
“Well, I don’t know… when I called him to come help you, the thought crossed my mind. We’re older and wiser now. I still think he’s a fine ass piece of man. And a part of me—
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