by Patricia Kay
All the way home—which was only minutes away—Olivia couldn’t get her mother’s comment out of her mind. Hadn’t she thought the same thing earlier? That Matt would make a wonderful father? And he’d probably make an even more wonderful husband.
And lover.
That thought made her breath catch, almost as if she’d said it out loud. She glanced over at Matt, but he wasn’t looking at her. Thank God. Even though she’d not voiced that thought aloud, her eyes might have betrayed her.
When they reached her house, she turned to say goodbye to him at the door, but he said, “I’ll come in. Help you get Thea ready for bed.”
“You don’t have to do that, Matt. I know you have things to—”
“I want to.”
What could she say? I don’t want you to. That would be a lie because she did want him to. The fact was, she wanted even more. She wanted, after they’d gotten Thea ready for bed and settled her into her room, to take Matt’s hand and lead him into the master bedroom. She wanted him to stay the night. She wanted him to undress her and make slow love to her, not once, but several times.
She remembered that old song from the oldies station her mother used to listen to—the one about slow hands.
She swallowed.
Just thinking about what she wanted made her stomach feel hollow.
It had been so long. So very long. She could hardly remember what it had been like to be held, to be loved, and touched, and cherished. She and Mark had been too young, really. Their lovemaking had been fast and impatient, the way young lovers are. Mark had never had the chance to grow with her.
She was so lonely.
Her loneliness hadn’t been so bad when Eve was living there, when they’d been in the same boat, but now Eve had found love again. A wonderful, passionate, grown-up love. All you had to do was look at her to see how happy she was. How fulfilled.
I want that, too. I deserve that, don’t I?
Why was she torturing herself? She knew what she wanted couldn’t happen. That’s all her neighbors would need. To see Matt’s car in her driveway all night long. The entire gossip network of Crandall Lake would be on overtime tomorrow!
And Vivienne.
She would go ballistic.
Olivia actually shuddered, thinking of it.
“What’s the matter?” Matt said. By now they’d settled Thea into her bath and were sitting watching her. “Are you cold?”
Olivia shook her head.
“You sure?”
Olivia tried hard to make her smile genuine. “Yes, I’m sure.” She could feel his eyes on her as she looked away.
After Thea’s bath was finished, Olivia dressed her in her pj’s and got ready to read her a story. She hoped Thea wouldn’t ask for the daddy story tonight, because she wasn’t sure she could handle that kind of emotion right now. Not in front of Matt.
But Thea surprised her, saying in her stubborn voice, “I want Unca Matt to read to me, Mommy.”
Olivia looked at Matt, who stood in the doorway.
He smiled. “I’d love to.”
Olivia sat in the rocking chair in the corner while Matt sat next to Thea on her bed and read her Pigtastic!, one of her favorite stories. Olivia loved looking at him, loved seeing the way Thea responded. It was clear he was enjoying himself, that none of what he was doing was pretense. No one was that good an actor. With every moment that passed, Olivia realized anew what she would have if she could have Matt.
By the time he’d finished, Thea’s eyes were closing. It had been a long, full day, and she was obviously tired.
Olivia got up and went over to the bed. “Say good-night to Uncle Matt, honey.”
“’Nite, Unca Matt.”
“Good night, sweetheart.” He bent over and kissed Thea’s cheek.
Then Olivia kissed her daughter, too, saying, “Sweet dreams, pumpkin. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
Olivia turned off the carousel lamp, leaving only the night-light on, and she and Matt where almost out of the room when Thea said, “Unca Matt?”
He stopped, turning to look back at Thea. “Yes, sweetheart?”
“I wish you were my daddy.”
Olivia’s startled eyes met his. For a long moment, their gazes held. Then Matt, still looking at Olivia, said, “I wish that too, sweetheart.”
Thea’s words and Matt’s answer thundered in Olivia’s mind as they left Thea’s room and walked to the front of the house. Olivia knew she should say something, but she couldn’t think of anything. She could barely look at Matt, let alone make conversation.
“I guess I’d better go,” he said.
“Yes,” she murmured.
When they reached the door, he turned to her. “Liv.”
She finally raised her eyes. Her heart felt unsteady.
“I meant what I said. I do wish I was Thea’s father. Just as I wish you were...mine.”
Then, shocking her, he drew her into his arms, lowered his head and captured her mouth in a kiss that sent lightning bolts all the way to her toes.
* * *
Knowing he’d stunned her, Matt almost said he was sorry. But he wasn’t sorry. And Olivia had responded to his kiss, opening her mouth and allowing him in for long seconds before pushing him away. That had to mean something.
“Matt, we...we can’t do this.” Her troubled eyes met his as she backed away from him.
He reached for her, taking her hand. “Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“What I know is, I’m tired of pretending to just be your brother-in-law when I’d like to be so much more. And I think you want me to be more.”
“I just... I don’t see how you can be more. You know how your mother feels about me. She’d go crazy if she thought there was anything between us.”
“That would be her problem, wouldn’t it?”
“It would also be our problem.”
“Not mine. I don’t care what she thinks. Think about it, Olivia. She’s going to go crazy when I testify as a character witness for you, so what’s the difference?”
“You’re planning to be a character witness for me?”
“Of course I am.”
“You can’t do that, Matt.”
“I can, and I will.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’m doing it. You and Thea are more important to me than anyone else in the world, and I don’t care who knows it.”
Olivia sighed shakily. “Knowing that means a lot to me, Matt. But are you sure? Your mother won’t sit still for this.”
Matt shrugged. “Let her do her worst.”
“I...” Another shaky sigh. “Matt, you have to give me some time. This is a lot to process.”
“I know it is. I don’t expect you to make me any promises. I just wanted you to know how I feel.” He didn’t add that he’d wanted to make sure he staked his claim before Austin Crenshaw started working on her.
Their eyes met again, and he could see all the confusion and doubt and fear raging through her. At that moment, he could have cheerfully strangled his mother. This mess was all her doing. If Vivienne was a normal person, with normal feelings, she would want her son’s widow to find happiness again. She would encourage her. And if that happiness was with her other son, she would be ecstatic. But Vivienne wasn’t normal. And, for some reason Matt had been trying to figure out all his life, she didn’t have the same feelings for him as she’d had for Mark.
“Just tell me one thing,” he said.
“What?” Olivia said softly.
“Do I have a chance?”
She closed her eyes. “Oh, Matt...”
“Do I?”
“I—I do care for you. In fact, I more than car
e for you, but I...” Her face twisted. “I don’t want a life filled with tension and estrangement from family. It was hard enough with Mark...before Thea. I just can’t go through all of that again. And it would be worse now. I know it would. If...when...I win this custody case, I want something different. I—may have to move away to get it. I don’t want to do that, but if that’s what it takes for a peaceful life, that’s what I’ll do.”
His heart sank. He could see the truth of what she was saying in her eyes. And he felt it in his bones. “Please don’t make any decisions yet. Just wait. Okay? Will you promise me that? Anything can happen.”
She slowly nodded. “I promise I’ll wait. I won’t decide anything for sure yet. I need time. And as I said before, if your mother follows through on filing for custody of Thea, I’ll need to focus every bit of my energy on defeating her.”
“And I’ll do everything in my power to help you do that.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. Then, as if to take the sting out of what she’d said earlier, she rested her head against his chest and hugged him. “Good night, Matt. And thank you for everything.”
He allowed himself to hold her for a long moment, then kissed the top of her head, inhaling its clean, fresh fragrance, and whispered, “I love you,” and left.
As Matt walked out to his car, his thoughts were in turmoil. But one thing he was sure of. He might lose, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give everything he had into fighting for Olivia.
Even if it meant he would have to walk away from everything here and begin again somewhere new.
* * *
Olivia leaned against the door after Matt left. His kiss, and everything he’d said, had shaken her to her core. She’d wanted to tell him that being with him today had meant everything to her, that having him as her husband and as Thea’s father would be the answer to all her prayers.
But that couldn’t happen.
Because no matter how she felt, she’d meant what she told him. She did want something different. She wanted a close, warm, loving relationship with both her family and a potential husband’s family. And that would never happen with Matt and the Brittons. Vivienne would never accept her. Even if she mounted a fight to gain custody of Thea and lost, Vivienne would continue trying to undermine Olivia. She would continue fighting her and finding fault with her and working to make her life miserable.
But Olivia had to be strong. She could no longer allow her mother-in-law to do these things. For the longest time, Olivia had felt she had to do everything in her power to keep communication with Vivienne as pleasant as possible, no matter what the older woman said or did. But this probable suit against her, Vivienne’s threat to wrest Thea away, had proven to Olivia that nothing would ever change. And if she allowed Vivienne to continue in this spiteful vein, it would impact Thea’s life in ways Olivia couldn’t...wouldn’t tolerate.
So for everyone’s good, but most especially Thea’s, Olivia would need to start a new life...probably somewhere far away from Crandall Lake and everything Britton.
* * *
Olivia was still turning all these thoughts over in her mind thirty minutes later after changing into her pajamas and pouring herself a glass of wine, with the intention of putting her feet up and watching the latest recorded episode of The Good Wife, one of her guilty pleasures, when her cell rang.
Olivia smiled; it was Eve.
“I wondered how your meeting with Austin turned out,” Eve said. “But I gave up on you calling me, so I decided I’d call you.”
“It’s been a long day,” Olivia said. She sank into her favorite chair and put her bare feet on the matching ottoman.
“Well? How’d it go?”
Olivia gave her an abbreviated version of the meeting.
“Has Matt come around to agreeing Austin’s a good choice for you?” Eve asked.
“Sort of.” Olivia hesitated, then decided it would be good to have Eve’s opinion of everything that happened after the meeting. “He said it was clear Austin would work hard for me because Austin likes me.”
“Oh, really? Did he mean likes you as in wants to date you?”
“Yes.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said I wasn’t sure I was ready for that and that I needed to put all my energy into this court case.”
“Is that what you’re going to tell Austin if he asks you out?”
“I don’t know.” Maybe it would be best to go out with Austin if he asked her. Maybe that would be the only way to make Matt forget about her. “Um, something else happened today. Later on.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Matt invited himself to dinner at Mom’s. And then afterward, he came in to help put Thea to bed. And after he kissed her good-night, she said she wished he was her daddy.”
“Oh, Liv.”
“I know.”
“What did you say?”
“I was too rattled to say anything. But then Matt was leaving to go home, and he said he wished the same thing. And that he wished I was his, too. Then he...he kissed me.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“I couldn’t help myself. But then I pushed him away.”
“See? I told you he felt that way about you.”
“I know you did.” Olivia sighed.
“So what happened then? After you pushed him away?”
Olivia repeated the rest of the conversation between her and Matt. “I’d give anything if things were different, Eve. But they aren’t. And I meant what I said. I don’t want a repeat of my marriage to Mark.”
“I totally understand. And you deserve that. Frankly, I don’t think a relationship with Matt could survive the continuous onslaught of viciousness Vivienne would subject you to. Not to mention she could totally ruin Matt’s career.”
“I know.”
Eve was silent for a few seconds. Then, thoughtfully, she said, “You know, Liv, you should seriously think about moving out here. Adam was just saying today that he desperately needs to hire a secretary/assistant to take care of things here, not just for his career, but for our personal lives, too, which would mean basing someone here in the house, but he didn’t know how I’d feel about having a stranger among us. But if it was you...oh, my goodness, that’d be perfect. And you’d be perfect for the job. Oh, Liv, think about it, will you? I know you’d have to wait till the custody hearing is over, but after that...it’s the ideal solution. There’s even a separate place you could live and have your privacy. We have a guesthouse adjacent to the pool. It has two bedrooms and its own kitchen! The previous owner’s mother lived there, so it’s entirely self-sufficient. And we have tons of room in the house. There are six bedrooms! Your mom, my mom, Stella, they could all come to stay, whenever they wanted to. It would be wonderful. I would love it. The kids would love it!”
Later, as Olivia settled into bed, she couldn’t stop thinking about Eve’s suggestion. Everything in her felt sick at the thought of leaving Crandall Lake and Matt. But in her heart of hearts, she knew she was close to a place where she could no longer handle Vivienne and her vindictiveness.
Nor did she want Thea exposed to it, grandmother or no grandmother.
Maybe moving away was the only choice left.
Chapter Eight
Matt waited until Monday morning to call Carter Davis’s office. “Is he free to see me for a few minutes?” he asked Mary, Carter’s longtime secretary, now officially called his admin.
“Let me check.” A few seconds later, she said, “He said to tell you he’s got twenty minutes before he has to leave for an appointment in Austin.”
Two minutes later, Matt accepted a cup of coffee from Mary and settled into one of the chairs in front of Carter’s desk. “I’ve come
to a decision,” he said.
“Okay.” Carter put down the pen he’d been using to sign some documents.
“I’m not going to run for the House seat. I’ll notify my biggest supporters today.”
Carter seemed surprised. “You’re sure about this?”
“Very sure.”
“I have to admit, I wasn’t certain you’d go this way. But I’m glad. I think you’re the best person for the job. It’ll make stepping down a lot easier for me, knowing I’m leaving everything in your hands.”
“Well,” Matt said, “I still have to win an election next year.”
“No doubt in my mind that you will.”
“Nothing’s a sure thing when voters are involved.”
“You’ll have me in your camp.” Carter stood, extended his hand, then clapped Matt on the back as he walked him out.
Heading back to his own office after leaving Carter’s, Matt felt a twinge of guilt. He knew he should have been completely open with Carter and told him there was a possibility he would not be able to follow through on running for district attorney in the next election, that there was a chance—a slim one, but still a chance—that he might actually have to move to another state, and why. But he hadn’t said anything because he hoped matters would never come to that. And he’d known if he confessed this possibility to his boss, no matter how slim, Carter would not have felt comfortable recommending him to the governor.
Damn his mother. Why couldn’t she be a normal mother, someone who was proud of him and wanted him to be happy?
He tried to wipe the entire problem out of his mind as he reentered his office and began to deal with the day’s schedule, and he was nearly successful until his phone rang an hour later and the caller turned out to be his mother’s favorite candidate for a daughter-in-law, Charlotte Chambers.
“I haven’t seen much of you lately,” she said, “and decided to take matters into my own hands and give you a call.”
“I’ve been buried in work,” he said. “I’m buried now.” Maybe she’d take the hint.
“I figured as much, especially since you’re getting your ducks in a row for your campaign for the House seat.”