by Trisha Leigh
Up close, in the firelight, the red veins crisscrossing under his translucent skin become so clear I can see blood moving through them. I kneel so that we’re at eye level with each other, waiting for him to find a way to express whatever he’s thinking. After a moment he sighs again, then points at his left wrist where a watch might be if he had one and shakes his head.
That’s pretty clear. “The Prime’s not back yet? Has he been delayed for some reason?”
The Goblert nods.
“When will he return?”
He shrugs, then seems to think about it some more. He uses both hands to display seven fingers. At that moment I realize he only has eight.
“Seven hours?” I ask. Hours mean nothing to me now since I have no way to count them. The same goes for days and weeks. The Goblert shakes his head no. “Seven days?”
This time he responds with a nod, and my stomach sinks. Another week down here completely alone, now that Deshi’s abandoned me. I’m guessing that’s the reason for the Goblert’s visit. Since I’m going to be here another week, Zakej decided I would need some food and water, otherwise his father might miss out on the fun of killing me himself.
Maybe the Goblert was supposed to be bringing it the whole time.
Deshi never said so, but I don’t think anyone knew he was bringing me sustenance. They might have sent him with the salve the first night, because Kendaja at least knew I wouldn’t survive my burns without it, but any kindness he’s displayed since then came from his own desire. And, I hoped, curiosity.
“I wish I knew your name,” I say to the Goblert.
Surprise flickers in his shining eyes, followed by another half-there smile. On his too-long, too-thin face, a smile has the opposite effect of happiness. And that’s before he displays a mouthful of jagged, sharp teeth. If I didn’t assume he meant me no harm, it might send me running the other direction.
Except there isn’t anywhere to go.
Before he leaves, the Goblert again points at the paper bag and presses a finger to his lips. After he disappears, I drag the food and water through the bars and retreat to the corner I’ve come to think of as my bed. The opposite corner reeks from my waste, and for the first couple of days all I could smell was that and the horrid scent wafting from my body. Even my natural jasmine perfume can’t cover up my reek, but I must be used to it now.
I drink one cup of water, deciding to conserve the rest in case I don’t get any more before the week expires. In the paper bag are two turkey sandwiches and three apples. I’m about to crumple it when a slip of paper falls out.
It’s a note. In the small amount of light from the palm of my hand, I can see it’s from Lucas.
Chapter 5.
Trembles beset my fingers and the light almost goes out before a deep breath settles my heart into a steady beat. It’s not a huge deal, a simple note, but I’ve been so utterly alone for days—and without any contact from a friendly face for longer.
I slide the now-sturdy fireball closer to the piece of paper, not realizing I’m holding my breath until my lungs start to burn. I read the note once and my eyes fill with tears. There’s no holding them back, no more strength to be found inside me. Instead I let the words on the paper be my strength for a minute and curl around them, sobbing until my throat hurts again and there’s no more worthless self-pity inside me that wants to come out.
Oddly, I feel better once that’s done. More settled. I can finally put away the awful idea that I’m alone. Although I might be alone right now, in this room, I am not alone in this fight.
Once my eyes are clear, I read Lucas’s words again, this time with a smile on my face and a flutter in my heart that I hope never goes away.
Althea—
I’m here. I love you. Don’t give up.
—Lucas
He’s here. He loves me. We’re not giving up.
I may have screwed up with Deshi before, but if he comes back, I won’t stop trying. There’s always the hope that the truth was simply too much to handle all at once, and that after he has time to process what I said, he’ll come back wanting more answers.
Last autumn, when Mrs. Morgan Broke and the Others showed themselves to me as they truly are—aliens who manipulate and control the humans on this planet in order to get what they need—I didn’t want to believe it, either. I didn’t want to hear that Other blood runs in my veins, or that Fire’s my mother and that my father died because I was born.
None of that was easy to believe. Honestly, if I hadn’t had Lucas and Pax and months of proof staring me in the face, it might still seem unreal to me. It’s hard to remember that Deshi’s life diverged from ours so completely right after all of this began. That the same months I spent discovering who I am, learning what Earth’s really like, and glimpsing the horrible plots of the Others, Deshi spent in here. Zakej and Kendaja are his friends, the people he trusts to bear his weight when things get tough.
If we’re going to change that, it’s going to take time. Weeks, not days. It’s going to take patience. While I might have the latter, if I try, the weeks are a different story.
The words in Lucas’s note come back to me, digging into my mind and returning the memory of Deshi’s offer. He said he’d take me to say good-bye to them before our audience with the Prime. Now that Deshi’s distanced himself, I assume that he won’t be back, but at least I know Lucas is here.
And we’re always within reach of each other, aren’t we? In the hive?
I know the way between my sinum and Pax’s, but never mapped the route between Lucas and I. Even so, seeing Pax would be better than nothing, and maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to find Lucas. If we could talk, if I could get their advice on how to best handle Deshi’s conversion—if he ever returns—it could bolster my confidence.
Maybe we could even come up with some sort of plan for eluding death, with or without Deshi. Winning him back is still the only way, though. If we leave without him, we’re in the same boat we were in before we were captured. It’s just that the idea of dying doesn’t appeal to me all that much. Abandoning Deshi almost appeals less. If we leave him here, part of me knows we’ll be smashing any hope of the four of us working together for good.
I close my eyes, focusing on the hive for the first time in a long time, and follow my mind inward until I land in my sinum. The strange, living combination of fire, air, and ice still creates a seemingly solid barrier between my mind and the rest of the Others, but as I approach the opening into their joint consciousness, voices meet my ears.
“So the Summer Celebration is back on, huh?” The pleasant, mesmerizing voice belongs to an Other. If they’re guarding my sinum—and they must be, since they’re right outside chatting—then they’re probably Wardens.
“Yeah. Since the half-breed Elements proved they’re as stupid as the Prime thought, waltzing right into our grasp, there’s no reason to think we’ll leave before we’d planned.”
The answering voice sounds identical to the first, making it as hard as ever to remember they all have minds of their own. Or so the example of Nat leads me to believe. They apparently can’t sense my presence through the barrier, which is both interesting and reassuring.
The two of them continue discussing the Summer Celebration, and two more voices join the conversation here and there. I can’t defeat that many at once, not alone. Not in my current half-starved state, at least. Instead of trying, I listen for a few more minutes and then return to my stinky little hovel.
I eat a turkey sandwich and an apple, then allow myself one more cup of water. With nothing else to do, but more comfort than I had this morning, I let my eyes drop closed.
***
More time passes that I can’t keep track of, and three more trips to my sinum reveal the same problem. Wardens are stationed there, and though the first voices are swapped for new ones, it looks as though I’m stuck. I make the second sandwich and apple last as long as possible, and the water ran out just recently.
With
a little food and drink the past couple of days I’ve begun to feel better, but the idea of taking on five or six Wardens alone still doesn’t seem feasible. Even so, I’ve decided I’ll at least try in a few hours. There’s nothing to lose. The Prime wants to kill me himself, so the Wardens won’t dare do it for him. If I can get past them and to Pax, great. If not, I’m no worse off than I am now.
The sound of footsteps wakes me from a nap, though, and when a face melts from the darkness it belongs to Deshi. Not only that, he’s got some kind of flat contraption decorated by a few buttons under one arm. The other holds a fresh pitcher of water, and I gulp down a glass while eyeing the small black plastic rectangle.
Deshi avoids my gaze, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I still think you’re lying. About my mother.”
“Okay. So why did you come back?”
“Because I don’t think you’re doing it to be mean. I think you believe that’s what happened.” He pauses, settling his burden on the dirt floor. “And I said I would take you to say good-bye.”
My heart skips a beat. If he’s come, then it can only mean one thing. “The Prime is returning?”
“Tomorrow. He was delayed due to a small issue in Danbury.”
Breath stales in my chest. Something else happened in Danbury? Did it have to do with the last time we were there or any of the kids we unveiled? “What happened in Danbury?”
Deshi meets my eyes now, narrowing his a little and making me want to squirm. “We’ve had an unusual number of humans Break in that Sanctioned City since last autumn. But this time a girl has gone missing. No one can find her.”
“That’s strange,” I manage to choke out, swallowing another sip of water to cover up the tremble in my voice. Brittany’s parents reported her missing, but they didn’t find her.
They will never find her.
“You could ask Pamant to tell you the truth about your mom. You think he might?” I’m not trying to make him angry, only to divert attention from my reaction to the search for Brittany.
“He has told me the truth.” The strange, flitting emotion, the one I couldn’t pin down on Deshi’s face the night we were captured, shifts across his face again. This time I think it’s uncertainty, but it’s gone before I can be sure. “But I can’t ask him about what you said. I’m not supposed to be down here.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he’s taking such a big chance just to talk to me and bring me turkey sandwiches and water, but instead I catch his eye and smile at him. “Thank you for taking care of me. I’d be pretty bad off without your help.”
Deshi shrugs, and in the firelight dancing from my hands I see a blush pinch his cheeks red. The silence grows uncomfortable, which makes me impatient, so instead of waiting for him to say you’re welcome like a normal person I nod at the piece of equipment he brought. “What’s that?”
“It plays DVDs. I thought we could watch my movie. The one that had my note in it.”
Surprise raises my eyebrows, but my immediate reaction is a curious pleasure. “I’d love that! I’ve never seen a movie that the Others didn’t make.”
“Obviously.”
“If the Others don’t know about your note, then how have they let you watch the movie? Didn’t they ask you where you got it?”
“They let me watch whatever’s lying around. No one asks what I’m doing. They trust me.” The defensive tone returns to his voice, and it scrapes across my skin like the rough bark of a tree.
“Oh. Have you read books not for Cell? Made-up ones?”
“No. Why would you read a book that’s not for learning?”
The annoyance in the question, the dismissive nature of it, raises the hair on the back of my neck but instead of snapping at him I try another smile. “It’s hard to explain, I guess. The people in them—actually most of the ones we’ve read are about kids—make me feel less alone. Like the things I’ve experienced aren’t new or harder than the things people before me went through.”
“There are books about being half-alien and dealing with the consequences of an occupying invasion of Earth?” The skepticism on his face reminds me of Pax for a moment, and it almost brings tears to my eyes.
I’d give anything to see Pax’s slow smile and kiss Lucas’s dimples right now. “No. Not specifically. But when you boil down the individual struggles and emotions of our situation, the stories can get closer than you think.” I step forward, surprising him by reaching out a hand and sliding my palm against his. “I really, really hope you get to read one someday. Even if Lucas, Pax, and I aren’t around to be there when you do.”
He pulls away but not immediately, then looks at his watch. “If you want to go say good-bye, now’s the time. We’ll have to use the hive. Less chance of being seen.”
“Aren’t there Wardens guarding our sinums?”
“Why would you assume that?”
The stiffness in his posture says he’s not pleased, not that it matters one way or another. They can’t get through my barrier and he can’t report me without getting in trouble, too. “Because I’ve been there, looking for a way out on my own. I thought you were never coming back after last time.”
“I said I would take you to say good-bye. Anyway, we’ll go to my sinum; it’s unguarded. I’ll get the boys and bring them there, too.”
“Why are you doing this, Deshi? If you don’t care about us?” I’m not trying to be rude; it’s simply the question in the forefront of my mind.
He doesn’t answer for a while, and it makes me wonder if he even knows. Finally he meets my eyes and I do see uncertainty there this time before he frowns. “When you told me you care about them—that you love them—I believe you. Even if you don’t care about me, I know how it feels. And I’d want to say good-bye.”
Before I can ask who he cares about or what happened to them, he grabs my hand and pulls me into the hive. My head spins without anything to focus on, and Deshi does it all with his own power instead of borrowing some of mine. I’ve never entered the hive that way unless I’ve been asleep, and technically that doesn’t mean I was unwilling, only unconscious.
I didn’t know we could be forced, which was probably a good thing; it would have made every confrontation with the Others even scarier, and that’s not optimal while trying to convince myself we can beat them. It’s disconcerting being dragged along instead of going willingly, and my body feels jostled and sore.
We land in a strange sinum, the first one I’ve entered in weeks that’s unprotected by a barrier. Worry snakes into my stomach. If this is a trap, I’m a sitting duck. If Deshi can bring me here, can he keep me here?
“Wait here. I’ll be back.”
“Deshi how do you know they’re not going to find us? This isn’t safe, with no barrier.” I try to force a confrontational tone, but even I hear the terror rushing through my question.
“Althea, it’s fine. The Wardens are in a briefing about the Summer Celebration, followed by a training session for their assigned jobs. We have at least three hours.” He pauses. “And I don’t need a barrier. I’m not hiding anything from the Others. They’re my family.”
I only nod, unwilling to upset him and have him retract this opportunity to see my friends. He evaporates from his sinum briefly, leaving me alone less than five minutes before he reappears with a dazed-looking, filthy Pax.
That slow smile squeezes my heart with joy. Until my eyes roam downward and find the gaping wounds bleeding through the slashes in his thin t-shirt.
Chapter 6.
Deshi leaves, but I hardly notice. I throw myself into Pax’s arms, wrapping mine around the solid breadth of him to make sure he’s really here. The warm sunshine of his aura wraps around me; the comforting scent of apples and cinnamon piles into my nose until it diffuses through my blood.
He sets me gently away after a moment, wincing but trying to cover it up with a smile. “Wow, I never thought I’d enjoy seeing you more than I did the first time we met.”
I swat his arm, my cheeks heating at the memory. Pax will never let me forget that he’s seen me naked, probably not even if we live through this and see our hundredth birthdays. My embarrassment distracts me, but not for long. “What happened to you?”
“Me? What happened to you?” he asks, running a soft finger across the bridge of my nose.
I haven’t thought about it in days; my nose stopped hurting a while ago. It must still bear the scars of Deshi shoving me face-first into the wall. “Nothing. It’s nothing, and it happened a while ago. This is obviously still happening.”
He looks down when I point at the open cuts across his skin. There are too many of them for it to have been an accident, or a single torture. I can see in Pax’s face that he doesn’t want to tell me, and he’s saved when Deshi reappears.
The scent of pine trees and fresh snow spins me around. Lucas’s face—tired, pale skin streaked with dirt, still bearing the barely-healed gash along his jaw from Kendaja’s touch, but beautiful—rips a sob from my throat. Relief and joy, exactly what’s pumping through my veins, fill his eyes and we crash into each other with two steps.
Lucas’s cold arms wrap around my back, squeezing me so tight against his chest I can’t breathe. It’s okay. I don’t need to breathe. This is my air, what sustains me—this feeling of perfect belonging in his arms.
“You’re really here,” he breathes into my hair.
“Where you are, I am.” My voice breaks.
My tears are hot, even steaming a little in the frigid air coming off Lucas. Even though Deshi and Pax are there, Lucas presses my face between his hands and crushes his lips against mine. I want to sob into him, to never let go, and the kiss is too short.