by Hope Navarre
“Yeah,” he managed to croak, although it almost killed him to admit it. There were a lot of things he couldn’t do.
Jake reached over, tugged Neal’s rope free and slapped the coils against Neal’s chest. “Hell, when you had two good eyes you missed most of the time. I can rope better than you with both eyes closed. Head or heels?”
Neal’s tension eased, and he gave his brother a look of gratitude. He took the rope and began to shake out a loop. “Okay, hotshot, you take the heels.”
Jake chuckled. “You want the head because it’s a bigger target.”
Neal nudged the Appaloosa toward the herd. “I’m being easy on you. I’ve seen you rope. This way all you have to do is put your loop on the ground and let him step in it.”
“I’ve got five bucks that says the only thing you’ll get a rope around is your horse’s ears.”
“Big brother, you’re on.”
They rode into the herd and cut the limping steer away from the others. It took three tries before Neal’s loop fell over the calf’s head, and he felt like shouting when it finally landed. Jake threw his rope on the back legs and they stretched the calf until it fell onto its side.
Both cow ponies knew what to do, and they kept the ropes taut as Neal dismounted and moved down the rope to the bawling animal. He saw that a small strand of broken wire had become wrapped around the hoof. He carefully worked the rusted piece loose.
The men freed the steer and coiled their ropes as they watched him run after the rest of the herd. Neal knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn’t care. He patted the horse’s neck. “This is a nice cow pony you’ve got here.”
“He’s the start of an Appaloosa line that I want to breed. Good job with the rope, by the way. I guess this proves you can do anything if you put your mind to it,” Jake said quietly.
Neal shot a look at his brother’s smiling face and his own grin faded. Anything he wanted? No, roping a calf was a far cry from riding a bull. His stomach lurched at the thought of lowering himself into a chute again.
He forced the fear back down inside and tried to laugh it off. “Hell, I thought it proved I’ll do anything for money. You owe me five bucks.”
“What?”
“Five bucks. Pay up.”
“It took you a dozen tries. The rope fell on him by accident.”
“Five bucks.” Neal held out his hand.
“It wasn’t a real bet. We didn’t shake on it.”
“Five bucks now, and stop trying to weasel out of it,” Neal said as he mounted his horse. Their banter continued as they rode home, but Neal’s thoughts continually returned to Robyn and her stunning announcement.
He was a father. To a kid he’d never met.
If he had come after Robyn when she’d left, what would their lives be like now? She wasn’t indifferent to him. Her kisses proved that. There was just as much sizzle as always between them, but good sex hadn’t been enough to keep their relationship together. That took trust.
He had destroyed that trust before he’d realized what they had together, what she meant to him.
The old saying “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” should be tattooed on his forehead.
The question now was, did he want to rekindle a romance with her? Was it even possible? Any relationship would have to include her son. Was he ready for that?
Not wanting kids was a whole lot different than finding out he already had one. If nothing else, Robyn owed him the chance to get to know his son.
She didn’t trust him. He got that part of it. He was actually surprised that she had told him the truth. He could blow her big secret, but he wouldn’t. Proving to her that she could trust him would be tough. Was it worth the effort?
He thought again of the way she had felt in his arms today. She made him feel like a whole man. Like the man he used to be. Hell, yes. She was worth the effort. But where did he start?
* * *
“THANKS, MR. MYERS,” Robyn called over her shoulder as she stepped out of the grocery store. She turned around and bumped into a broad, denim-clad chest. “Oh, excuse me.”
She looked up into Neal’s tan face. Her traitorous heart lurched into double-time. It had been a week since that day at the spring, and his face had been haunting her dreams every night.
Willing her voice to stay steady, she said, “Oh, it’s you.” She tried to shoulder past him, but he stopped her by grabbing one of the overflowing grocery bags she carried.
“Let me help you with that.” He pulled the bag out of her arm.
“I can manage,” she protested.
“No trouble.” He walked to her truck and stood beside it. She had no choice but to follow him. She opened the pickup door and he set the bag on the seat. He took the second bag from her and set it beside the first. He turned and faced her, and he didn’t move out of her way.
Unwilling to meet his gaze, she muttered, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He still didn’t move.
“I need to get going. I’m in a hurry.” She couldn’t believe how much she wanted to stay. Why couldn’t he leave her alone?
“Seems like you’re always in a hurry these days. Can’t return my calls, can’t make time to see me.”
“That’s because I’m busy. Please move.”
“No.”
She glared at him then. “What do you want?”
“I’m not going anywhere until I tell you how sorry I am.”
She held up one hand. “Please, I don’t want to hear this.”
“Well, too bad, because I need to say it.”
After pulling off his hat, he ran his fingers through his hair and then gripped the brim of his hat with both hands. “I never meant to hurt you, but I did. I’m so sorry. I was a fool. There isn’t any excuse for what I did. Maybe you thought I didn’t come after you because I didn’t want you anymore. That wasn’t true. I didn’t come after you because I knew you deserved a better man than I was.”
There was so much pain on his face. She didn’t want to forgive him, but she wavered, wanting to salvage something of their past. They’d shared something incredibly special once. “Thank you for being honest.”
“You’re welcome. You deserve someone who can give you the life you want. You’re a fine and beautiful woman, Tweety. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”
He glanced from the hat he was turning slowly in his hands to her face. “I know you don’t want me in the picture, but it doesn’t feel right knowing I have a son and doing nothing for him. I’ve set up a trust that he will get access to when he turns twenty-one. There will be money to pay for college, or whatever. No strings attached.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Too bad. It’s done.”
“Then on his behalf, I thank you.”
“No thanks needed. Robyn, I’d really like to meet him. I’d like to get to know him.”
She shook her head. Why had she opened her foolish mouth in the first place? “No.”
“Just meet him, nothing else. You said it yourself our families are friends and neighbors. I’m bound to run into him someday.”
“Someday, but not now.” Not when her emotions were so raw. Not when she was questioning the wisdom of what she had done.
“All right. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry for what I did to you. More than anything else, I have missed your friendship. Maybe someday we can be friends again.”
He settled his hat on his head, touched the brim in a brief salute and then walked away without waiting for her reply.
When he was out of sight, she climbed slowly into her truck. She sat and stared at the wedding band on her left hand where it rested on the steering wheel. The ring was a symbol of a promise she had made in haste to a young man
who was dying. A promise made for all the wrong reasons, and one she had regretted every single day since she had given it.
She dropped her head into her hands in misery and whispered, “I miss your friendship, too, Neal. How did we end up like this?”
After a moment, she raised her head and stared at the gold band once more. “I made a promise, and I have to keep it.”
There was no use wondering how things would have turned out if she had made a different choice. She had to live with what she had done. With a tired sigh, she put the truck in gear and started for home.
Seeing Neal had stirred up feelings she wasn’t ready to face. Stepping on the gas, she tried to get ahead of her confusion. She was over him.
The town’s only stoplight turned red in front of her. She slammed on the brakes just in time. An elderly woman, waiting to cross the street with her dog, shot Robyn a sour look. Robyn raised a hand in apology.
Okay, so she wasn’t over Neal. Now what?
Their relationship had ended in limbo, with no clear closure for either of them. It was past time to put that chapter of her life away for good. If she accepted that her attraction to him was a leftover part of that chapter, she could move on.
Only, how?
“Oh, Colin, I wish you were here to help me.” They had met in the coffee shop at the hospital where her father had been a patient. Colin’s kindness and gentle nature had allowed Robyn to reveal all that she was going through in those first weeks after she’d left Neal. Colin’s unconditional support had allowed her to face a future without Neal. It was only later that she’d learned how ill Colin was.
She sat up straight. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened. Colin was gone, but the people he’d wanted so badly to help weren’t. She would call his parents and ask them to come for an extended visit. With Colin’s parents at the ranch, she would have a reminder every waking minute of the promise she had made and the reason for it. If they could stay until Neal was gone, that was all she needed.
Two days later, Robyn was nailing a new picket on the fence to replace a broken one when a familiar black Lexus pulled up in front of the two-story stone-and-timber ranch house. Her father-in-law flashed a dazzling smile and waved as he stepped out of the car.
Tall and handsome still, Edward Morgan wore his seventy-odd years with distinction. His face was lined with a gentle humor that continually amazed her. Colin had been so much like him. Life had not been kind to Edward, yet somehow he managed to find the strength to bear it. How could she do less?
“Edward, how wonderful to see you.” She reached his side and gave him a big hug.
He planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve been missing my favorite daughter-in-law. Why didn’t we think of this sooner?”
Guilt blossomed in her. Since Neal had dropped back into her life, she couldn’t seem to think of anything, or anyone, else. “I’m sorry. There has been so much to do since we decided to sell the ranch. I’ve barely had a moment to myself. We’re going to have the auction in three weeks.”
“I can’t believe you want us to stay when you’re so busy. Are you sure we won’t be in the way?”
“Oh, not at all. You know you’re always welcome here. I know how much you love the country. I wanted you to enjoy this place one last time. Before it’s gone for good.”
“Edward? Edward, where are you?” a halting and worried voice called from inside the car.
“I’m right here, dear.” Edward removed a wheelchair from the back of the car and unfolded it. After opening the passenger side door, he bent and lifted his tiny, fragile wife from the front seat.
Sorrow touched Robyn’s heart as she watched Edward gently place Clara in the wheelchair. The once vivacious woman seemed to fade more each time Robyn saw her. Her white hair was drawn back into an elegant chignon. She was as neat as a pin in a simple blue dress with a wide white collar and full skirt, but her blue eyes that had once sparkled and snapped with humor and wit had become dull and lifeless.
“Do you think it’s going to snow? Colin didn’t take his coat today.” Clara began to pleat the material of her dress into small, neat folds.
Edward smoothed her hair gently. He knelt in front of her and stilled her hands by gathering them in his. “It’s not going to snow, Clara. It’s summer. Feel the heat?”
Robyn knelt at her mother-in-law’s side. Her professional training allowed her to hide the shock that rocked her. “Hello, Clara, it’s nice to see you again.”
“Hello.” Clara’s eyes showed no sign of recognition as she gazed at Robyn. “Have you come to tune my piano?”
Robyn glanced sharply at Edward. He shook his head and spoke in a firm voice. “Darling, you remember Colin’s wife. We’re here to visit her and little Chance.”
Her eyes brightened for a moment. “Colin’s baby?”
“That’s right, Colin’s baby.”
She nodded and smiled as she began to hum softly. She pulled her hands away from his and began to pleat her dress once more.
Robyn motioned to Edward with a tilt of her head and they moved away. She laid a hand on his arm, wishing she could offer this brave man more comfort than a simple touch.
Colin’s mother had doted on her only child, but she had never been a strong woman. A car accident had confined her to a wheelchair when Colin was ten. She’d suffered two mild heart attacks before he was out of high school. When his condition had worsened, he’d feared his death would kill his mother, as well. He’d desperately wanted to give her a reason to live, something to hang on to. He’d wanted to give her a grandchild.
Clara had survived her son’s death, and Colin had been right. It was because of the baby. But now her mind had begun to slip away. For a brief moment, Robyn was glad Colin hadn’t lived to see his mother come to this.
“She’s worse, isn’t she?” Robyn asked Edward softly.
Patting her hand where it rested on his arm, he nodded. “She has good days and bad days. She’s a tad confused now, but she’ll be right as rain after she’s had a little rest.”
“I’m so sorry. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
“She’s much better when Chance is around. I’m glad you invited us.”
Robyn scanned his face. “You look exhausted.”
His smile widened. “Still tactful as always, aren’t you? I’m doing all right. I never thought having Clara in a wheelchair would be a blessing, but at least she can’t wander off.”
“I’m sorry, Edward. I should help more.”
“Now, girl, as you so often pointed out to me when Clara and I wanted you to stay with us after Colin died, you have your own life to live.”
“That was different.”
“I don’t see how.”
“Back then, I needed to prove I could stand on my own two feet.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “Is that why you spent two years in that god-awful basement apartment while you finished your training instead of letting us help by paying for a nice place to live? If I recall, you couldn’t stand on your own two feet in that place without smacking your head on the ceiling.”
“It wasn’t that bad. Besides, you know it was never about the money. Your emotional support and your love were what Chance and I needed, and you gave us plenty of that.”
“You should have let us help pay your way through school. We can still afford to help,” he said gruffly.
“Stop. You lost that argument many years ago.”
The sound of the screen door slamming pulled their attention to the front porch as a little blond streak flew down the steps and ran straight to Clara. At almost four, Chance was still small for his age, but he was agile, and he didn’t hesitate as he flung himself at his grandmother.
Clara looked momentarily startled as the boy threw his arms around her knees, dropped his head onto he
r lap and hugged her. She patted his head. “Colin, are you home already?”
Chance lifted his head and smiled. She blinked several times, and then cupped his face with her hands. “Oh, how silly of me. I called you Colin, didn’t I?” She helped him climb onto her lap. “Ooh! My goodness, you’ve grown. Edward, come and see how big our grandson has gotten.”
Robyn felt the tenseness drain out of her father-in-law’s body. “I knew it would do her good to see him. After Colin died, I thought it would be the end of her, but when Chance was born, it was like the sun came back into her life.”
He dropped an arm around Robyn’s shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “Thank you for giving us back part of our son.”
She saw the happiness shining in his eyes as he watched his wife and grandson, and she knew she could never do anything that would destroy it. A promise was a promise. Even if she regretted making it, she would keep it.
She laid a hand on Edward’s arm. “I’m so glad you could come. Now I’ll have some help getting this place in shape.”
“I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know the first thing about ranching. I doubt you have a need for a retired science professor. We’ll only be in the way.”
“No, you won’t. Besides, Chance needs to spend time with both of you.”
As long as Edward and Clara were there, Robyn knew she could find the strength she needed to avoid Neal. Once his doctor gave him the okay, he would be off to the rodeo circuit again and out of their lives. And the memory of his kisses would fade in time. Wouldn’t they?
CHAPTER EIGHT
“I DON’T KNOW if this is such a good idea, Martha. Wait a minute.” Ellie Bryant pulled the phone away from her ear and leaned around the kitchen counter to check the stairwell. It was empty.
She raised the receiver again. “I thought I heard Neal coming down, but he’s not up yet. He’s been trying to do too much. He’s been out riding every day. He sure inherited his stubborn streak from his father.”
“Ellie, you know our children are never going to get together without a push,” Martha insisted.
“Maybe.” Ellie hesitated to agree with her longtime friend even if she believed Martha was right. There was more to Robyn and Neal’s split than either of them let on.