by Hope Navarre
It’s better this way. You know it is.
But she didn’t have to like it.
* * *
THAT EVENING AT dusk Ryan pulled out of the driveway with his horse trailer in tow. Off to a rodeo in Miles City according to the calendar, back in a day and a half. Tomorrow Lonnie would show up to fill his shoes. Lonnie, who Ryan had assured her would become all thumbs if she tried to tag along with him.
Instead Ellie explored the barns, leaned through the fence to try to pet the calves. She read several articles on pregnancy and tried to make herself do a bit more networking. She read Walt’s “papers” and used those as a starting point to learn something about cattle breeding. She printed out a diagram of an Angus bull with perfect conformation and walked down to the corrals to compare it to the bull there. Everything seemed to be in the right places and the proper proportions. Walt came up behind her, startling her.
“Oh,” she said, feeling an urge to hide the picture behind her back. “I was just comparing this picture of an Angus bull to your bull to see how they compare.”
“Not well, I hope,” Walt said testily.
“Why’s that?”
“Because that’s a black Gelbveih.”
“Really?” Ellie asked, refusing to be intimidated by his off-putting tone. Walt had apparently forgotten his invitation to discuss cattle with her. “Guess I need to print a new picture.”
“Guess so,” Walt said as he continued on into the barn.
“How do you spell Gelbveih?” she called after his retreating back. Walt didn’t even slow down. As she walked back to the house she half wondered if she should just fire him now and save everyone the trouble of trying to rehabilitate. Why was Ryan so damned attached to this man?
And why was he still so heavy on her mind?
Milo called later that day, breaking the monotony, to tell her the consultant would possibly be there sooner than expected. He’d give her the exact date as soon as he had it. Ellie took the opportunity to broach the matter of the crew.
“I’ve heard rumor that your consultant tends to be a new broom sweeping clean.”
“He has a reputation for identifying problems and doing what’s necessary. The Kenyons were quite satisfied with his recommendations,” Milo said. “He’s a specialist in his field.”
Milo did love specialists. Ellie sucked in a fortifying breath. “I’m also a specialist,” she reminded him.
“Of course you are. You know the kind of people Angie and I can work with.”
Indeed. Angela was hell on help at times, so it was more of a question of who could work with her. Could Jessie?
“So if he wants to fire the whole crew, like he did at the Kenyons’, and I see reason to keep one or two...”
“We’ll discuss it. The three of us.”
The words were right, the tone was not. It was just a little too placating, making her think that perhaps, while Milo valued her opinion, she was going to play second fiddle to the ranch expert in the area of personnel management. Ellie pushed a hand through her hair.
“It’s your ranch, Milo. Your decisions. But I hope you will take advantage of what I’m learning. I think the crew interacts with me in a way they probably won’t with a consultant who’ll only be here for a few weeks.”
“True, and I think that’s a benefit. You understand efficiency. Mr. Monroe understands ranching. Together you’ll make an excellent team.”
The consultant understands ranching. That could be the rub if it came down to her opinion against his. “I’m sure you’re right,” she said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you, showing you operations.”
“Me, too, Ellie. See you soon.”
* * *
CLOUDS HUNG LOW over the mountains the next day and it’d been raining for several hours by the time the sound of Ryan’s diesel truck brought Ellie’s head up. Ellie, who’d spent too much time thinking and now wanted to set a few things straight. She wasn’t going to spend her time at the ranch dodging the man because of a few uncomfortable moments. No. They wouldn’t be friends, because she knew instinctively that her unsettling awareness of Ryan was not the stuff of which friendships were made. It was the stuff of which hot sex was made, and her recent sojourn into the land of hot no-strings sex had not ended well. She would not repeat the journey. But she wouldn’t hide out, either. They would make a peace. Of sorts.
Ryan pulled the truck to a stop next to the barn and Ellie walked across the drive to intercept him. “Why don’t you park under the port at the front of the barn?” she asked from under the hood of her jacket.
“Because your aunt doesn’t want vehicles parked in view.” He walked around to the trailer and opened the door. PJ, who had not been tethered, stepped out into the rain, and Ryan caught his halter in one hand.
“She’s not here,” Ellie said impatiently.
“But you are,” he said over his shoulder as he led the horse away.
Ellie let out a frustrated growl but stayed where she was, knowing he’d be back, since all of his gear was still stowed in the backseat. But Ryan didn’t come back to the truck. Instead, he headed for the barn and she moved to intercept him.
“I don’t care where you park,” Ellie snapped as she met him at the door. “And I didn’t mean to come across as having an elitist attitude the other day.”
“It’s a matter of employer-employee protocol. I got it.” He opened the door and she stubbornly followed him inside even though she knew she should just retreat to her house.
Ryan started shoveling grain into two large buckets.
“Why didn’t Walt grain the calves?” she asked.
“We worked out a deal before I left. He’s the manager.”
Ryan hefted the buckets and headed out the door. Ellie followed, stopping when he opened the gate and stepped into the mucky corral to empty the grain. The calves converged on the grain as Ryan stepped back, his boots making suction noises in the mud.
“I think there’re some things we need to clear up,” she said. “But I don’t want to talk in the rain. Or in the barn.”
“Well, then, let’s pencil in a meeting.”
Ellie bit back the retort that rose to her lips and instead said, “You want me on your side when this consultant comes.”
“Is that a threat?” he asked mildly.
“No. I’m just saying that what happened between us shouldn’t play into it. I have some say—” I hope “—and I’m going to do my best for the crew.”
“All of the crew?” he asked.
“Most of the crew,” she replied honestly. No matter what, she didn’t think Walt would make the cut.
“Well, I’m glad to hear that for Francisco’s sake.”
“What about yours?”
“Walt goes, I go,” he said simply.
“That’s a little shortsighted, don’t you think?”
“Here’s what I think,” he said, facing her over the gate, rain dripping off his hat onto his boots. “This ranch will change. Your aunt and uncle will not understand how things have been done for generations, so they will hire alleged experts and, despite you ‘being on our side,’ will eventually fire all of us when that expert tells them to—and he will, because that’s the way this particular expert does things.”
“Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way.”
“I’ll tell you what else I think,” he said as if she hadn’t spoken. “I’m not buying this employer-employee excuse of yours.”
Ellie opened her mouth to protest, then decided it’d be wiser to hear him out rather than defend a lie.
Ryan came out of the pen, closing the gate and latching it with a quick shove of his hand before he turned back to her. “Believe it or not, I understand the words not interested. You didn’t need to come up with bullshit excuses.” He brushed past her an
d went back into the barn where he picked up his cooler and then started for his house, head bowed against the rain.
“Have a good evening,” he said before disappearing around the corner.
“Sure thing,” she muttered back as she crossed the wet gravel. “I hope you lost your event.”
CHAPTER TEN
ELLIE WENT BACK into the house and peeled out of her wet coat, hanging it on a hook near the door where it could drip harmlessly onto the tiled floor. She headed down the hall to the bathroom, planning to take a nice, long, hot bath...except that would mean time to think, and she was so damned tired of thinking. Instead she cranked on the shower, letting it warm as she paced back and forth.
Okay, so she’d done a less-than-stellar job of hiding her attraction to Ryan and now he was totally pissed at her. She’d screwed up, but despite what Ryan thought, her excuse for stepping back was valid—employers and employees had to have boundaries. Ellie snorted as she stepped in under the blessedly hot spray and tilted her head back, letting the water run through her hair. Too bad Ryan didn’t seem to see it that way. Too bad he knew a bullshit excuse when he saw one.
After a shower that did nothing to ease her tense muscles, Ellie blow-dried her hair, paced through the house a few times, started to dial Kate’s number and then hung up.
Slowly she sank onto a leather chair. She liked Ryan. She hated burning this bridge, but it had happened and she didn’t feel right about mending it. Yet she didn’t feel right about not mending it, which left her in limbo. How could she explain her actions?
With a deep sigh she reached over to turn off the single lamp that lit the room, then used the light of her phone to walk through the dark house to her bedroom. Her very lonely bedroom.
Get used to it, baby.
She’d barely gotten between the sheets before she passed out, only to wake with a start.
Ellie had no idea if she’d been out for minutes or hours or what had woken her. She lay still, heart thumping against her ribs, and then she heard the heavy tread of footsteps just outside her window, and her throat went dry. Who would be walking around her house at this time of night? And more important, had she locked the door?
Ellie forced herself to breathe. Slowly she raised her head just enough to see that she was alone in the room, and then she gingerly got out of bed and moved to the window. Blood pounded in her ears as she looked out to see a half-grown calf walk past her window. Upon closer inspection, Ellie saw that there were at least twenty calves milling around.
Snapping on the light, she scooped up her phone, only to remember that she didn’t have Ryan’s cell number. He’d never given it to her, just as he’d never given her his bullet-point list of responsibilities.
Well, someone had to do something about these calves. She couldn’t leave them running around until daylight when Walt got here. Ellie pulled on her jeans, jammed her feet into her flats, then thought better of it and instead put on her boots. It was damned wet and muddy out there. Tucking in her oversize sleeping T-shirt as she walked, she found her coat and headed for the door. It wasn’t until she stepped outside—and the calves, startled at the noise and the possibility of a predator, scattered wildly—that she realized she might have made a mistake.
Damn Ryan for not giving her his number. Figuring she couldn’t do much more damage than she already had, she marched toward his house as fast as she could in her untied boots. Another calf spooked as she approached, smacking the door of the ranch truck as it lunged sideways, blindly trying to escape in the dark.
A light came on in Ryan’s house a split second after the collision and Ellie stopped in her tracks. He came out onto the porch a moment later, wearing only jeans, holding a flashlight in one hand, a sweatshirt in the other. The light traveled over the calves, and then he started across the porch, coming to an abrupt halt when he saw Ellie.
“I was coming to tell you that your calves were out,” she said before he could ask.
“Can you get the gate at the front entrance?” he asked, pulling the sweatshirt on over his head. “I’ll get the one at the back.”
Ellie turned without a word and started jogging toward the front gate, which was a lot farther away than she remembered. When she got close, she saw a small group of calves hanging close to it and she slowed her steps, stopping when they looked at her.
“Shoo,” she said softly. The calves looked at each other, as if making a plan, then started walking toward the open gate. “No!” Ellie raced forward, trying to head them off when her toe caught on something solid and she went down. Hard. The breath left her lungs and it took a moment before she was able to push herself up. As she did so, the calves trotted past her single file, disappearing into the darkness on the other side of the gate.
Ellie got to her feet and closed the gate, figuring it was better to have a few calves out than the entire lot. She rubbed the mud off the side of her face as she walked back to the house, grimacing as she did so. Damn. It’d been a long time since she’d fallen and it hurt a lot more than she remembered. But at least she’d landed on her side so hopefully the baby was fine. No. It had to be fine.
“What happened?” Ryan demanded, appearing out of the dark.
“I fell,” Ellie said, not slowing her steps. She wanted to get back to her house, out of her wet, cold, muddy clothing. Her calf duty was done. Ryan could deal with the damned things.
“Fell?”
“Tripped. A few of the calves got out. I couldn’t stop them, but I closed the gate.” Ryan put his hand on her forearm and she stopped walking, raising her chin to meet his eyes as a chill ran through her, making her shiver.
“Come on,” he said gruffly, jerking his head toward his house, his grip on her arm tightening.
“Where?” she said, automatically holding back.
“I’m going to make you something hot to drink.”
“I’m fine. I just want to wash the mud off.”
“Then we’ll go to your house.”
“There’s no need. Take care of your calves.”
“They’re contained and I can’t do much until morning when Walt gets here with his dogs.”
She didn’t know why he was persisting, but she was tired and dirty and she could practically feel the warmth of his body. It was so tempting to just lean closer, but she didn’t. Not after the way they had parted earlier.
She started walking again and he fell into step beside her when all she wanted was for him to go back to his house. Remove temptation. Let her be. But she couldn’t find the words to tell him to go. He’d walk her to her door for duty’s sake, and then he’d leave and she’d deal with wet muddy clothes and tempting thoughts.
When they stopped at the front door, Ellie hesitated before reaching for the knob, dropping her gaze toward the porch planks, trying to come up with the words to set things straight between them.
“Ellie?”
She looked up, still frowning, half-afraid to meet his eyes. It was a justifiable fear. Her breath caught at the intensity of his expression. How fair was it that he was looking at her like that? In a way that made her want to do something about it. At a time when she couldn’t.
“I was out of line earlier,” he said in a low voice. “I apologize.”
“You’re just grateful over the calves,” she said softly, wishing she’d never met his eyes.
A corner of his mouth turned up as he gently touched her chin and Ellie drew in a breath. He was going to kiss her...and she couldn’t let that happen.
“Do it and you’re fired,” she murmured.
“Yeah?”
So much for threats. Ellie swallowed, knowing she needed to stop him, because his mouth was about to settle on hers and she very much wanted to meet him halfway. She eased back even though she wanted more than anything to get even closer to him.
; “I can’t do this.”
“Ellie...”
“And it’s not because I’m your boss,” she said, thinking it was time to put an end to things once and for all. “It’s because I’m pregnant.”
Ryan stepped back so quickly she was surprised he didn’t trip.
“Pregnancy, not leprosy,” Ellie muttered.
He folded his arms in front of him, as if he couldn’t think of anything else to do with them. “I had a pregnant woman digging fence-post holes?”
“I’m not that pregnant,” she said.
He started to speak, stopped, then finally said, “Well...a few things now make more sense than they did.”
“Like me being impervious to your charm?” Except that she wasn’t. She wondered if that had been as obvious to him as it was to her.
“Well, there’s that. And you being here, instead of out conquering the business world.”
“I needed some time.” She hugged her arms around herself and started for her house, her sanctuary. “Milo needed another set of eyes. It seemed a good solution.”
“The father?” he asked softly.
“Not in the picture,” she replied, waiting for the judgment. She couldn’t tell if she got one.
“You need to get inside,” he said as a deep shiver ran through her. “If you need help...or anything...just yell.”
“Will do.” But she knew she wouldn’t. “I have to go,” she said, reaching for the door handle.
“Ellie.”
Don’t...
But she did. She looked back at him.
“How alone are you in this?” he asked.
“How alone can you be?” she replied.
His expression shifted, concern and—empathy?—playing over his handsome features as he reached out to carefully push the damp strands of hair away from her cheeks.
Ellie took in a breath at his gentle touch, and a heartbeat later he cupped her face in his hands, holding it for a moment before he lowered his head to kiss her.
Fire ignited inside her, but Ellie forced herself to stay still. The kiss was hot, intense. Something she wasn’t prepared for. Yet Ellie met his tongue and the heat flared before Ellie abruptly stepped back.