by Hope Navarre
Milo gave a small humph of acknowledgment, so Ellie went on. “If you and Angela aren’t going to move here immediately, my recommendation is to leave things as they are. These people care for this place is if it was their own. It’ll be in good hands. Its profitability is increasing every year and after taking into account the unfortunate setbacks suffered, it’s on par with other working operations in the area.”
Milo was quiet. Ellie had known going in that he wouldn’t want to believe his expert was trying to milk the situation and she didn’t want to push things.
“You have George’s first report,” she said. “And I imagine you’ve been too busy to look at it. Read it now with a critical eye, Milo. You’re good at discerning smoke and mirrors. Seek a second opinion if you need to, but right now my gut reaction is that the Rocky View doesn’t need George Monroe. It’s in good hands.”
“And if the report looks good?”
“I’d still get a second opinion. And I would not extend his contract. If you hired me to consult about this matter, that would be my answer.”
“All right, Ellie,” Milo said on a sigh. “I’ll take a look at the report. If I have questions, I’ll get back to you.”
“Thanks, Milo. Talk to you soon.”
And now all she could do was hope that her uncle believed her and not the specialist. If George stayed a year, it was possible that he’d even drive patient Francisco away.
Two days later, when Ellie returned to the ranch from her OB appointment, George’s travel trailer was gone. No big shiny black truck, no lawn chairs, no consultant.
Ellie sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Hopefully this meant Milo was putting ranch management back into the hands of the current crew, where it belonged. Walt might carry the title of manager, but Ryan was the actual push behind operations and he was good at steering the ranch activities in the proper direction.
She’d have to touch base with Milo, but for the moment she was hopeful and relieved. She could leave knowing she’d done some good...and she was leaving. All she had to do was call Kate’s dad. Let him know.
* * *
FRIGGIN GEORGE WAS gone. Ryan got out of the ranch truck and for a moment simply stared at the place where the trailer had once been as a slow grin formed on his face. Good riddance. Ellie’s Land Rover was parked in front of the house with the rear compartment door open. He walked over and saw that in addition to a box of groceries there were two flats of daisies. He pulled them out and carried them to the side gate where she met him.
“I had my second OB appointment today,” she said as she opened the gate for him.
“And bought more flowers?”
“I can’t seem to help myself, although there aren’t too many left in town.”
“The growing season is close to over,” he pointed out as he set the flats down on the table where the jays had once eaten Jessie’s pie.
“It’s August.”
“And we’ll probably get our first killing frost sometime in September.”
Ellie turned to him, a horrified expression on her face. “I’m doing all this and the flowers are going to die in a month?”
“Just means you get to do it again next year.”
Ellie’s gaze shifted then from horrified to...wary? Or was that flat-out fear? All because he’d mentioned next year. That was telling, and so was the knot in his stomach at her reaction. He reached out to take her hands. “Is next year out of the question? I know this isn’t the life you used to lead, but it’s a good life and you fit into it well...and if you stayed, well...you wouldn’t be alone. So...you might consider that a possibility.”
Ellie did not look reassured by his not-so-slick speech. “What exactly are you saying, Ryan?”
“You don’t have to go through this alone,” he repeated patiently.
Ellie pulled back. “This meaning my pregnancy?”
“Yes.”
She took a step back, pulling her hands out of his. “Don’t do this, Ryan.”
“What?” he asked with a bemused frown.
“Don’t be my white knight.”
Okay, that floored him, as did the adamant tone in which she spoke. Obviously this was something that had been weighing on her mind. “I’m not trying to be your white knight, whatever the hell that means.” He set his hands on his hips. “What the hell does that mean?”
Ellie let out a breath before saying, “It means that I wonder if there aren’t so many similarities between what happened to me and what happened to your mom that you’re, well, compensating.”
“You think I’m trying to rescue you?”
“I think it’s a possibility,” Ellie said, folding her arms over her chest.
“And I think that’s damned insulting. Do you have any feelings for me at all?”
“You know I do.”
“Are you in love with me?” he asked in a low voice.
“I don’t know.”
She didn’t meet his eyes and even though he felt as though he’d been sucker punched, he thought that it was quite possible she was not being truthful. Why? It had to be fear.
“This thing between us has been moving fast. We need some time to slow down, take a look at things,” he said.
Her eyes flashed up at him. “The one thing I don’t have is time, and I can’t compromise my stability,” she said. “Not now. I have to make a life for my kid, and that means I can’t go into a relationship wondering about the motivation of my partner.”
Sucker punch number two. “You could give me a chance, Ellie. Believe in me. Believe that I’m not righting any past wrongs at your expense.”
“I’m not in a position to take chances,” she said stubbornly.
Ryan’s head dropped, and when he looked up again his expression was one of extreme frustration. The words came out slowly as he said, “Do you want to believe I’m being a white knight so that you can leave more easily?”
Ellie didn’t answer, which was in itself an answer.
“If you have to leave, you do,” Ryan said.
“I have to do what’s best for me and my baby,” she said quietly.
“How do you know I’m not best for you and your baby?”
She had no answer to that except for the same one she’d given before. “I’m not in a position to take chances.”
Third time was a charm. “And I have to accept that.” He started for the side gate, leaving Ellie standing next to her daisies, an unreadable expression on her beautiful face—back behind her barriers, protecting herself from the world.
And he’d been stupid enough to think he’d broken through.
He turned back toward her before opening the gate latch. “Make no mistake, Ellie, when I made love to you, it had nothing to do with anything in my past. It had to do with you and how I feel about you. You may not know how you feel about me, but I’m pretty damned certain I’m in love with you.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ELLIE WOKE UP to find Ryan’s truck gone, then remembered he had the first of three rodeos in a row after his long break, many hundreds of miles away. She put on the kettle, then walked to the window and looked out over the pastures. Skipper grazed quietly with two of Ryan’s other horses. Walt’s dogs were snuffling around the barn and the four-wheeler was idling nearby. A few seconds later, Walt walked out of the barn and got on the vehicle, revving it loudly. The dogs shot into position on the back and off he went. She let her forehead touch the window.
And off she would go, too.
It had been a long, lonely night, but she’d convinced herself that things were working out the way they had to. She needed security. A job. She had to go with the sure thing. If she took a chance now and screwed up her life, then she also screwed up her baby’s life. The child was already starting life with only one
parent—why make things worse?
Ellie tidied up the house, threw her few belongings into her suitcase and booked a flight.
A day later, after returning her rental and spending the night in a motel, she landed in Santa Barbara. Angela met her at the airport, swooping her into a hug that involved an air kiss or two.
“Back from the wilds,” she said on her husky laugh, stepping back to eye Ellie’s midsection critically. “You’re a little thicker.”
“Thanks,” Ellie said drily, smiling even though she didn’t want to.
“Are you sure you can only stay two days?” Angela said.
“Yes. I told Kate’s dad that I’d start work early next week. He found a house I can rent, so I need a few days to settle.”
“It seems that things have fallen nicely into place,” Angela said, sounding as if she was responsible for Ellie’s happy ending.
“Yes.” Except for that part where her heart felt like it’d been stomped into the ground.
“Milo won’t be home for dinner,” Angela said, “so I booked us a nice restaurant.”
“Is Milo ever home for dinner?” Ellie asked as they approached the baggage claim.
“He loves this job.”
Ellie walked toward the carousel that had just started moving. “He’s losing interest in the ranch, isn’t he?”
Angela cut Ellie a look. “I believe so, but that doesn’t mean it won’t resurge. Being chief of staff was such a goal of his for so long. He wants to revel in it for a while.”
Ellie saw Milo briefly that evening, but he was too tired to talk ranch matters, so she’d taken a rain check. The next day Angela took her shopping, loading her up with loose silk tops that she’d need “soon enough” and promising that the next trip would be for the baby. Ellie didn’t mind being spoiled a bit. She and her mother had exchanged a few emails over the past week, and things felt better there—she’d actually inquired about the pregnancy—but Mavis was never going to be an indulgent grandmother.
“I’ll have this stuff shipped to you as soon as you have an address,” Angela promised. “And Milo swears he’ll be home on time tonight, so you can talk to him before you leave.”
Ellie did get her time with Milo, sipping a club soda as he had his brandy after dinner. Her message was short and to the point. She didn’t care what the ranch consultant had written in his report before leaving, Ryan Madison was more than capable of running the ranch, as was Walt—but don’t plan on communicating with him.
“I, uh, believe you made that point a couple weeks ago,” Milo said.
“Just wanted to make certain it struck home,” Ellie replied. “Those guys know what they’re doing with the pastures, the forage, the cattle. They’ll take care of your ranch.”
“You learned a lot in two months,” Milo said, swirling the last of the liquid in the snifter he held.
“More than I ever anticipated,” Ellie said.
“Did you like it there?”
“Eventually, yes.” Ellie sucked in a breath, took the leap. “More than Angela ever will.”
Milo gave a small nod.
“I wouldn’t move her there, Milo. Even for half the year. Take your vacations there.”
“You don’t think two weeks would be too much?” Milo asked ironically as he continued to warm his brandy between sips.
Ellie smiled. “I think it would be pushing it.” She smoothed her hair, once again in the twist instead of the ponytail. “The ranch is good for your taxes. A decent investment. Leave it at that.”
“Was George that bad?”
“George knows his business, but he takes advantage of people who don’t.” She raised her eyebrows at her uncle. “He was talented that way.”
* * *
DURING THE TIME she spent with her aunt and uncle, Ryan called her three times, leaving messages since Ellie kept her phone shoved deep in her suitcase for the two days she was there, checking only to see if Kate or her father had called. The first two times Ryan asked her to call him back. She didn’t—she wasn’t yet ready. The last time he’d left a message telling her that he wouldn’t bother her again. And that was it. A click and it was all over.
All but the memories and the stubborn intrusion of “what if...” every time she thought of him.
She had to deal in reality now, not what-if. Besides, what-if worked two ways.
What if she gave up this job and went back to the ranch only to discover things weren’t working between them?
What if she couldn’t find another job because heaven knew how hard it’d been to get this one and she’d only gotten it because of Kate—which wasn’t great for the ego, but she could live with it?
What if she lost an opportunity to provide for her child? She couldn’t take a risk like that.
* * *
“SO WHAT’S PUT you in such a black mood?” Lydia asked as Ryan carried his dishes to the sink. “A horse, a woman or a rodeo?”
“None of the above.”
“What about the ranch owner’s niece?” Ryan shot his mother a quick look. “Walt stopped by. Said you’ve been hell to work with because of her.”
“That’s not why.” Now he was lying to his mother. Well, it beat discussing the matter with her.
“What about Charles?”
“What about him?” Ryan snapped. She gave him the eye and he shook his head. “I haven’t answered him yet. I hate letting him win.”
“If you take the money, you win.”
“If I sign the agreement, he wins.”
“I don’t see it that way.”
“Fine,” Ryan said as he picked up his hat. “I’ll figure out a way to deal with it.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to call a guy who knows him.”
“Take the money, Ryan.”
Ryan shook his head and then kissed his pissed-off mother goodbye before driving home. Once there, he poured a shot of whiskey, neat, then got out the phone book and made a call he never thought he’d make. A kid answered. He asked for Matt and then said, “Tell him it’s Ryan.”
“Madison?” Matt said a few seconds later.
“Yeah. I would like to get together for a sit-down. It involves you. And your mom and mine.”
There was a beat of tense silence and then his brother said, “So it obviously also involves my—our—dad.”
“In a big way.”
Another pause and then Matt said, “Yeah. I’ll meet with you. Do you mind coming here? To the house? Traveling is still kind of hard on me and my chauffer is fourteen.”
“That’ll work,” Ryan said.
“Tonight? Say seven o’clock?”
“I’ll be there.” Ryan jotted down the directions, figuring it’d take him an hour to get there. An hour to debate about whether this was a stupid thing he was doing or a good thing.
* * *
RYAN PULLED INTO Matt’s driveway a few minutes before seven. The house was fairly modest yet well kept, but the indoor arena next to it spoke of just how lucrative it was to be the son of a rich man with a championship roping career.
A teenage boy with sandy hair and glasses answered the door. “Hi, I’m Craig,” he said, holding the door open.
“Ryan.” He stepped into the house, noticing that it looked as if the housekeeper had just left. It was crazy clean.
“Matt’s in the kitchen. He’s not getting around too good.”
“So I hear.”
Feeling even more awkward than he had when he’d stopped by his brother’s hospital room, Ryan went into the kitchen where Matt was sitting at the table.
“Thanks for seeing me,” Ryan said as the kid disappeared.
“If I hadn’t, I don’t think I could have slept at night wondering
what it was you wanted to talk about.” Matt gestured at the seat across the table from him and Ryan sat.
“How long until you’re out of the cast?”
“Way too long from what I understand,” Matt said wearily.
“Competition isn’t the same without you.”
“Kind of you to say,” he replied with a half smile. “But you’re going to have to get used to it. I can still throw a rope, but try as I might, I don’t seem to be able to mount and dismount.” Ryan smiled as Matt placed his palm flat on his cast. “On the other hand, your season seems to be going well.”
“It’s my last,” he said.
Matt’s eyebrows went up. “Why?”
After Ellie had left, he’d done a lot of thinking about what was and wasn’t important to him. “My heart’s not in it anymore. I may do the Montana circuit again next year, but my Nationals days are over. My job is tenuous and I want to focus on something steadier.”
“Tenuous how?”
“Urbanites bought the ranch. A doctor. I have this feeling that they’re eventually going to sell again, since they haven’t spent a day there in over a year, and if so, who knows if we—my mentor and I—will have jobs?”
“Rough one,” Matt agreed with a nod.
They fell into silence then and Ryan knew that the catching up was over, so he laid out exactly why he came in one quick sentence. “The reason I’m here is because the old man offered me a lot of money to sign a confidentiality agreement agreeing to never claim paternity.”
Matt let out a disgusted breath, which answered Ryan’s first question—had he known? If so, he was a decent actor. “I’d, uh, kind of wondered if you were involved.”
Matt looked shocked. “Why?”
“I saw you at the High Point rodeo and I also saw one of the old man’s pickups.”
Matt shook his head. “Didn’t know one thing about it. I only went to that rodeo because my girlfriend rides in the drill team. I haven’t seen the old man—” he tilted his back, narrowing his eyes “—since the hospital, I guess.” Once again, he met Ryan’s gaze. “Are you signing?”
“No. But he’s not letting up. I told him no once and he came back at me with an offer of more money.”