I sat up, and picked up the coconut scented, suntan lotion, and began rubbing it into his back.
The usually delicious fragrance of the lotion smelled kind of funny today. We had only bought it two days ago, so it couldn’t have been off.
“Umm, are you just going to cover a part of my shoulders and let the rest go crisp?”
I snapped back to reality.
“Sorry, Derek. I was just... Does the lotion smell funny to you?”
“What? No. It smells fine. Like tasty coconut.”
Thinking I probably just had a little too much sun, I began applying more. But as soon as I got another whiff, the smell made my stomach turn. What on earth?
“Sorry, Derek. I can’t―”
Before I had time to go anywhere, I whipped my head to the side and threw up all over my sunbed.
“EVAN! What the hell?” Derek jumped up and scrunched his face up at the unpleasant sight.
“I don’t feel so well,” I replied, hanging my head between my legs.
“Shit, maybe you have sunstroke. Come on, we need to get you out of the sun and drinking some water.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon hugging the toilet bowl. I had no energy to move anywhere else. Despite Derek’s suggestion of sunstroke, I didn’t develop any of the other symptoms associated with the condition, so it had to be something else. In the end, I was ordered to go to the doctors by my melodramatic best friend who refused to let me ‘die’ on him while holidaying.
****
“Ms. Montgomery, have you ever experienced symptoms like this before?” the doctor asked.
Since I couldn’t get very far without getting sick again, we had to go to the closest medical center we could find. Fortunately for us it only happened to be about ten minutes away from the house and because it was quiet, I was admitted straight away. Derek waited outside while I sat in the room with the extremely serious doctor.
“I’ve had food poisoning before but nothing this severe. I’ve never had it affect my sense of smell before,” I answered honestly.
“I never said anything about food poisoning. When was your last period?” Wait. What?
“Well I was due for my next―” Oh. My. God. I threw my hand over my mouth. It couldn’t be… No. No. No.
“You were due when, Ms. Montgomery?”
“No. It’s not possible… This can’t be happening to me.” I stared at the doctor wide-eyed. How could I have been so stupid? Stupid enough to continuously sleep with Ryan without protection knowing I couldn’t remember to take the pill on time? Because you let yourself become distracted.
The doctor seemed to understand my state of panic. Or maybe he knew what was wrong with me from the start? He pushed away from his desk, turned around and opened the top drawer of a cabinet. He pulled out a small plastic container and a long white stick.
Handing me the container he said, “The restroom is around the corner to your right. Come back with a sample for your urine and we will conduct a pregnancy test. If you’re unsatisfied with the results, we can take a blood sample for more accuracy.”
I quickly nodded and left the room, ignoring Derek, who was calling out to me as I passed.
My entire body was shaking. I didn’t know whether I wanted to break down and cry, or throw angry curses out to the world. I didn’t need this right now.
When I’d finished, I made my way back into the doctor’s office, throwing an awkward glance at Derek, who was staring at me openmouthed. Of course, why wouldn’t he be when I’m carrying a clear, plastic container full of my urine?
I handed the container back to the doctor, who had applied gloves and then stuck the white stick into the container. “Just a few minutes and we should get an answer.”
I was sweating profusely. I couldn’t have a baby now, not right in the middle of this Jessica-Ryan fiasco. How would I even begin to explain this to Ryan? Would he believe me? Would he hate me? Would he want the baby? Did I even want a kid? I wasn’t sure of the answer, but I knew deep down I didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. Could I even raise a child? What kind of mother would I be?
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even hear the doctor speak until he lightly tapped me on the arm, jolting me back into reality. “The results are positive, Ms. Montgomery. Now, I’m not sure they’re the results you were wanting, but nevertheless it’s something you may wish to discuss with the father. Shall we perform a blood sample just to be certain?”
I didn’t bother going into details about my complicated situation with the father. If the doctor didn’t already know who I was, I wasn’t about to share it with him. “Yes, thank you,” I mumbled before getting lost in my thoughts again.
CHAPTER 29
Since finding out about the huge shock, our holiday in Saint Barthélemy just didn’t feel the same anymore, so Derek and I packed up and headed straight back to New York the day the doctor called confirming the blood test results. I was definitely pregnant.
I learned to control the morning sickness, thanks to the doctor, who informed me of the types of food to eat and which to avoid.
At the moment my diet consisted of water and crackers. Nice.
“Are you going to tell him?” Derek asked once we were inside the cab on our way to his place. Damn it. That was the last thing I wanted to think about. “Evan, you’re keeping the kid. His kid. You need to tell him,” he added.
I loved Derek, I really did, but ever since I broke the news to him, he’d been driving me up the wall with this ‘tell Ryan’ business. Yes, it was probably the right thing to do and yes, I’d have to do it eventually, but I was having enough trouble grasping the realization myself, so why couldn’t he just back the fuck off? And did two weeks in St Bart’s magically make him forget that Ryan was already going to be a father to another woman’s child? Oh God. The thought of it made me sick.
“I know,” was all I managed to say, before turning back towards the window of the taxi.
After the cab dropped me off at home, I raced up to my apartment and jumped straight into the shower. I needed time to think about the situation… about my life. I needed to sort myself out so that I could give everything to the little thing growing inside of me.
I stood under the hot, running water, and I placed a hand over my stomach. My eyes dropped down when I felt a slight bump there instead of my usual flat stomach and began imagining what it’d be like when I sported a huge, oversized belly.
I moved my hand higher and cupped one of my tender and swollen breasts, noticing that the pink of my nipple had also become darker. How had I not noticed these significant changes to my body before?
Flashbacks immediately rushed into my head as soon as I asked the question to myself. Over the last few weeks I’d been eating more than usual, I was constantly tired and then there was the mind-blowing sex with Ryan, where my body would almost explode by just a simple touch. So the clues were all there but I was just too stupid to notice them.
More questions filled my head. What kind of foods would I start to crave? How big would I get? How would I be able to hide this pregnancy from everyone else? What would happen when I start to buy things for the baby? Could that be done without rousing suspicion? Shoot, I still had to tell my brother… and work out a way to tell Ryan. But telling Ryan could wait, at least until everything with Jessica worked itself out.
Switching off the water, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a large bath towel around me and then made my way into the kitchen. I took full advantage of the lack of morning sickness that morning, and had allowed myself to enjoy a few light meals that were much more satisfying than the dried crackers.
While rummaging through the fridge for something appealing to eat, my cell chimed.
I quickly grabbed a couple of carrots and a can of soda.
The text was from Connor.
Heard you came home early because you were sick. I’m on my way over. Be there in 10.
Shoot! Before leaving St. Bart’s this m
orning, I’d called Amelie and asked for help finding a good obstetrician in the city. Of course that led to her question why I wanted one, which left me with no choice but to tell her the truth. I had to beg her not to say a word to my brother, not until I was ready to tell him myself. There was no way to predict his reaction and quite frankly I was scared, but it was news he needed to hear from me.
I hit a reply to Connor. See you soon.
After getting dressed, I made my way back into the living room and found Connor already at home on the leather sofa. I couldn’t help but admire my brother’s taste in corporate wear. Even as his suit jacket lay over the top of the sofa, and his stripped tie sat loose around his neck, the guy looked dashing. He rocked the ‘just-came-home-from-a-busy-day-in-the-office’ look.
Connor was leaning back, with a foot resting on his knee, and his arms stretched out across the top of the sofa. When he finally noticed me standing there he straightened, and I immediately felt his scrutinizing gaze burn through me as he scanned my body for signs of illness.
“Hey,” I said, trying to act as calm as possible, despite my head telling me otherwise.
“Hello, Evie,” he answered warily, his eyebrows pulling together. Oh God, he can tell. He knows! “So what is the matter with you? You look fine to me.” Phew!
“I am fine. Amelie was just freaking out,” I replied, waving a hand dismissively as I crossed the room.
“Hmm,” he said quietly before glancing down at the ground and slowly removing his shoes with his feet.
He was silent as he waited for me to take a seat on the sofa across from him. I sat there quietly, trying not to look as nervous as I felt. “So, are you going to tell me about your vacation then?”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied self-consciously. “It was the perfect escape. It was nice to get away from here, that’s for sure. I just wish I’d gone to Gran and Pop’s instead, you know?”
I was met with silence again. This is unbearable. He either already knew and was waiting for me to tell him, or he could sense that I was lying.
I chewed on my bottom lip, looking everywhere but at his face. When I did risk a look, he was watching me intently.
“You know ever since you were a little girl, you had an extremely bad habit of chewing your lip whenever you were hiding something.”
I immediately let my bottom lip go and forced a smile at him. Keep calm. Stay calm and breathe. “Oh, I didn’t realize I was doing that…”
“Evie―”
“Please don’t make me tell you if you already know!” I blurted out loudly, startling Connor in the process.
He blinked for a moment, then his eyebrows furrowed. “Evangeline, what on earth has gotten into you? I merely stated that you do that lip thing of yours when you have something to hide. Amelie said you’d caught some kind of bug, but you look perfectly fine to me. After that little outburst, I’m beginning to suspect you are indeed hiding something. So spill.” Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
“Connor… I’m afraid to tell you. I don’t want you to hate me, to get angry or worse, walk out on me because I’m a stupid idiot,” I said almost in tears.
“Don’t be stupid. I’m your brother; I can’t hate you. Just tell me, Evangeline.”
This is it. I needed to tell him… “I’m pregnant.”
A loud silence filled the air. The only sound I could hear was the loud thumping of my heart against my ribcage, while Connor’s stunned face stared back at me. Unable to look away, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and swallowed the lump that formed in my throat, waiting for him to say something… anything.
“Say something,” I said, unable to bear the torture any longer.
Connor picked up his jaw and cleared his throat. “Are you sure? Is Ryan the father?”
“Of course he is,” I replied, bothered that Connor would even think otherwise. He knew I didn’t sleep around with strangers. “And yes, the doctor confirmed it.”
Connor nodded once, still not taking his eyes off me. “Does he know?”
I shook my head. “He has enough going on to worry about this.”
Connor’s eyes darkened. “I don’t care what issues he’s dealing with, or how many other women he has managed to impregnate, Evie, you need to tell the scumbag! He needs to man up and take some responsibility in his damn life for once. What are you going to do if he starts treating you the same way he’s been treating the other woman pregnant with his child?”
“He won’t,” I replied quietly, hoping that deep down I was right. “I’m not going to the media and that girl is lying. She—”
“Evie, don’t be so naïve. You honestly believe what he’s been telling you? Come on, you were raised smarter than that. Guys like him will say anything you want to hear to get what they want.”
There was a sharp ache in my chest as the words hit me. Connor was right. I couldn’t let myself believe every a single word Ryan told me. What made me so different to any of the other girls he’d been with? But remembering the way he was that night at his mother’s house, seeing the pain on his face, and hearing it in his voice as he shared his terrifying memories, that had to be real, right?
“I’m sorry, Evie. I don’t mean to upset you. I just don’t want you to fall into his twisted web of lies, especially now in your condition. From now on you have to think about what’s best for you and the baby, and Ryan Fox is just going to add unnecessary stress in your life.”
I nodded and gently wiped the tears I never noticed had fallen.
Connor drew a huge breath and let it out before standing up and holding a hand out towards me. “Come on, sis. Guess we have to make sure that little bean inside of you is fully fed. Hungry? I’ll cook something up for the both of us.”
I flashed a halfhearted smile and took hold of his hand. He helped me up and chuckled when my stomach growled loudly at the mention of food.
CHAPTER 30
The week flew by, and before I knew it Friday night was amongst us.
To help take my mind off all the trouble in my life, Connor and Amelie invited Derek and me to the premiere of a new Broadway show. It wasn’t really my idea of taking my mind off things, since it was a red carpet event, meaning: heaps of people, cameras and more rumors, but I didn’t want to upset either my brother or his fiancée for their thoughtful offer.
Derek and I were at my apartment frantically trying to finish getting dressed before they arrived to pick us up.
Derek looked handsome in his black, pin stripped, 1940’s styled suit complete with a bright blue tie, suspenders and black and white wingtip, spectator shoes. All he was missing was the hat and a cigar, and he would have looked like he stepped out of an episode of Mad Men.
I turned away from watching him perfect his hair in the mirror to look back at my own reflection. I’d decided on a black lace Valentino gown with loose layers that draped down over my stomach— incase anyone suspected anything. Derek thought I was crazy, saying there was hardly a bump there at all. I was self-conscious about wearing something tight and media noticing my growing body.
My cell chimed with a message from Connor saying that they were waiting for us downstairs. I quickly pinned back my hair into a loose bun and put on some diamond earrings, before grabbing my purse and rushing out the door with Derek closely behind.
When we arrived, I stepped out of the limo and glanced anxiously around at the crowd that surrounded the red carpet event. My eyes found Connor and Amelie, who had chosen to step out of the limo first and were already getting their photos taken in front of the backdrop.
“How you doing?” Derek whispered beside me.
“I’m fine,” I replied shakily, trying to ignore the thoughts running around inside my head of what everyone would be thinking or saying about me tomorrow.
“You can’t let them see you afraid. The stupid stories in the media are false. You know that. You just have to act like you believe it, especially to them.”
I nodded, watching more people arrive and walk up the re
d carpet.
“Come on,” he added, offering his arm up to me. “Let’s get this part over and done with. A few quick photos and we’ll be safe inside before we know it.”
I took a deep breath, and put on the best fake smile I could muster before slipping my hand into Derek’s arm.
Once inside, we caught up with Connor and Amelie before taking our assigned seats.
I avoided looking around the room and was thankful we weren’t seated beside anyone I knew. How could I ever think I was going to get used to such public events? It wasn’t until the lights dimmed inside the theater that my body began to relax.
Almost three hours later, the lights came back on and the crowd erupted into claps and cheers. The show had been better than I’d expected. I was able to zone out of my troubled life and enjoy the spectacular performance on the stage in front of me. The show had also worked out for Derek, who bumped into a couple of important people in the acting industry on our way out, who then invited him back to the after party. He’d begged me to go with him, but I told him I wouldn’t be much fun drinking water all night, and encouraged him to go anyway. I watched him disappear back into the sea of people before turning around and following Amelie and my brother out of the building.
We were about to leave when a familiar male voice called out my name. I turned to see Hawke standing beside an older man that I’d recognized from a few recent movies.
A huge grin spread across my face as I waved and Hawke ended his conversation with the old man by handshake and made his way over to us. Dear God, he looked dashing in his evening suit.
“Hello there, beautiful ladies,” he sang cheerfully as he approached. When he was close enough, he reached down and picked up both Amelie’s hand and mine, then lightly pressed a kiss on the top of each. I heard Amelie giggle beside me but I was too shy to look Hawke in the eye. My cheeks were burning hot. Why was I reacting this way towards him? Sure he was undoubtedly attractive but get a hold of yourself, Evangeline! “Oh, and I suppose you want one, huh?” he added, letting go of our hands to shake Connor’s hand. I heard both boys chuckle but I was too busy staring at the hand Hawke had kissed then allowed his thumb to run slowly over the top of my knuckles. It was still tingling, wishing for him to do it again.
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