Ryan, looking unbelievably calm, closed my door and started making his way around the front of the car with the angry man following closely behind. “Proving to my girl just how much I missed her, what does it look like?” Ryan answered casually with a shrug.
“Have you lost your god damn mind?!” the man continued. “You just left in the middle of a ball game! I don’t care who you are; you can’t just do something like that! You need to get your ass back to Anaheim before they cut you from the team!”
“They can try but they won’t. You and I both know they need me too much,” Ryan said, stopping in front of his door and turning to face the man.
“Can you stop being a pompous fuck for just a second. They can cut you and they will! You’ll be lucky to get another game in the majors this season after the ridiculous stunt you just pulled! They’re as furious as I am!”
“Calm down, Phil. Go back and tell them I’ll be in New York in a couple of days.”
“Why are you letting a girl— Wait. What? You’re not coming back?”
“Nope. I told you, I’m busy spending time with my girl,” Ryan replied, turning away from the man named Phil and opening the car door. “You can tell them exactly what I just told you or think up some lame excuse but I’m not changing my mind. I have a lot of making up to do.”
The man raised his hands, balled them into fists, and looked as though he wanted to scream a whole lot of curse words, but decided to keep them to himself instead while Ryan hopped into the car. Winding down the window, Ryan hung his head out and said, “Cheer up, Philly. Bet you’d do the same thing if you were in my position.”
Phil shook his head firmly. “You can bet I wouldn’t be stupid enough to pull something like this on the team paying me millions to play.”
“Well, maybe you need to live a little on the dark side, Phil,” Ryan mocked.
Phil smacked his palm against his forehead as Ryan started the car. “What did I do wrong in my past life to possibly deserve the most insubordinate client in the world?”
With a smug grin, Ryan replied, “Hey! Don’t forget that I’m also your most sexiest client and I earn you truck loads of money, so it’s not all that bad. Now, please excuse me, I’m wasting precious time. Tell the guys I’m sorry.”
“That’s the thing, you always say that but you are never really truly sorry. You can’t just say that every time—”
“Yeah, yeah. See ya, Phil,” Ryan cut in before slamming his foot down on the accelerator and speeding off, leaving Phil standing alone in the restaurant car park.
CHAPTER 34
We drove for a little while without saying a word to one another. I thought it was best not to mention the encounter with the angry Phil guy or to ask Ryan where we were headed. But eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t help but ask the questions playing on my mind. “Who was that guy that looked ready to knock you out?”
“Philip Taylor is my ever doting sports manager,” Ryan answered without taking his eyes off the road.
Detecting the sarcasm in his voice, I turned to face him and noticed the tiny smirk on his otherwise impassive face. “You don’t seem to be worried by anything he said.”
“That’s because I have nothing to be worried about. You’ve never seen that man angry.” Err… Did he forget that I witnessed the whole conversation? “That, back there is nothing compared to what that man is capable of,” Ryan quickly added. Oh.
“So, you’re not really in trouble then?”
There was a small chuckle then he turned to me with a grin on his face. “Oh, I’m in trouble alright,” he said quickly, before turning back to watch the road. “But I don’t care. The worst they’ll do is spank me on the bottom and tell me what a naughty boy I’ve been.”
His comment made my eyebrow rise. “You really think that you’re more important than the rest of the team and they won’t punish you?”
All I got back in reply was a shrug. Jeez, he’s so full of himself!
“I don’t think I’m better than the rest of the team, but they do. Anyway, even if they did, hypothetically, ‘punish’ me, I’d do it all over again if it meant I was on my way to you.”
I looked away from him, suddenly uncomfortable. How was I to come back from that comment? Instead I decided to change the subject.
“Where are we going?” I asked, forcing my eyes to stay focused on the road ahead.
“To the hotel—”
“What?” I blurted out, spinning in my seat to face him. “I told you I wasn’t going to sleep with you!”
“Relax, Evie. I’m not going to sleep with you, even if you strip me naked and demand it from me.” I let out a quiet groan as he continued, “I booked a hotel room to give us a chance to talk in private.”
I eyed him carefully for any evidence of lying.
“If you keep staring at me like that, I might just break that ‘no sex’ rule and pull over on the side of the road to have my way with you.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” I said forcing back a smile. I couldn’t help it; the guy knew every button to push.
“Oh yeah? And who’s going to stop me? You surely won’t. You’ll be too busy screaming out my name while I’m deep inside of you.”
Hearing those words from his mouth made my insides come alive, and soon my mind was conjuring up naughty images of the two of us. Snap out of it, Evangeline!
“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”
My little fantasy immediately burst into tiny pieces. “No! Of course not!” I snapped, feeling my cheeks redden.
Ryan just grinned and nodded silently.
Desperate not to let him see my humiliation, I turned back to the road and decided to keep my mouth closed the rest of the way.
Unfortunately, we reached the hotel in less than ten minutes and before I knew it I was standing in the middle of the hotel room with my eyes glued to Ryan’s toned back, watching while he lifted his shirt over his head.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from gawking. I squeezed my hands into fists and dug my fingernails into my own skin to stop from launching myself at him. “You said we were just talking.”
“And we are. I’m just making myself comfortable,” he replied turning around to face me.
“By getting naked? If this is just—”
I couldn’t finish my sentence because the sight before me had rendered me speechless. Ryan… Ryan stood there all sexy with his mouthwatering, chiseled chest but something was different, obviously different.
Running down the right side of his ribcage was the black ink of a large tattoo. A tattoo of a word, or should I say, a name, written in perfect calligraphy.
“Ryan… you have a tattoo,” I managed to spit out as I slowly picked up my jaw from the floor.
“Do you like it?” he asked, bending his neck down to see it for himself.
I continued to stare at the name permanently inked on his beautiful, tanned skin.
“Why?” was all that managed to come out of my mouth.
“Why not?”
I finally managed to tear my gaze away from the tattoo and looked up at his face. “Ryan, you have my name tattooed on your body.”
A proud smile tugged at the corner of Ryan’s mouth as he took two steps towards me.
I felt a lump rise in my throat and forced it back down. “Tell me what on earth made you get that,” I demanded.
“The answer is simple, Evie. I got it so everyone knows that I belong to you. So that the whole world can see the name of the girl who not only owns my body and my soul, but every piece of my heart; the only girl who was able to tear down my walls and wasn’t afraid of the real man she found hiding inside.”
“You’re completely crazy, you know that?” I whispered, feeling my legs tremble as a warm tear trickled down my cheek.
“Only ever for you,” he replied, closing the gap between us. With one hand, he gently lifted my chin so th
at we were face to face with nowhere to go. The instant our eyes locked, his deep, penetrating gaze had me possessed, leaving my knees weak and unable to move. Ryan snaked his free arm around my waist and pulled me even closer so that almost every part of our bodies touched.
I could hear my heart in my ears beating a million miles an hour, while each breath came out in short and shallow gasps as it tried keeping up with the rest of my body in overdrive.
I didn’t know what to do. While my brain lectured me on how important it was for the two of us to talk and that I should take a step back, my body wouldn’t listen. It was painfully obvious that I was still in love the man standing so dangerously close. Was it better to follow my heart or my head? Would I make the right decision in the end? “Ryan…”
“Don’t, Evangeline,” he started, slowly moving his thumb from my jaw to my lips to stop me from talking. “Let me speak.”
The simple touch set off a powerful wave of electricity shooting through my body. I shivered and my eyes fluttered closed in response as Ryan continued.
“I drove myself crazy wondering why you didn’t call but I’d promised you space and I was trying hard to uphold that. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I wasn’t focusing, and in effect my gameplay suffered. We lost a number of games, which only took me deeper down that dark path. The same dark path I swore off when I was younger. All I ever wanted was the chance for you to believe me, Evangeline. I did nothing wrong. It was all Jessica and you found it easier to blame me. Do you know how much that hurt?”
I flinched at the sudden change in his tone. It pained me to hear him admit that he’d suffered the whole time while I let my own issues get in the way of what we had. I’d known that Ryan had his own issues to deal with and I selfishly ignored them. You didn’t want your baby to grow up surrounded by all that remember?
Realizing it wasn’t that I’d wanted to let him suffer, I opened my mouth to try and explain but once again Ryan didn’t let me talk. “I forced myself to think that you weren’t coming back, that you’d moved on and that you’d found someone better deserving, like Hawke Hudson. The very thought of you being with him killed me, but I had to think that way just to make it through the day. I even tried telling myself that you and I were just two very different people, and that I had to stop wasting my time on you. It managed to work for a little while but it didn’t last long, because the thing is: I was lying to myself. I may be a lot of things but I am definitely not a liar.”
I didn’t need to second-guess that because he was telling the truth. The whole time I’d known him, he had never once lied. It may have taken me a while to believe that but it was the truth, and one of the many great qualities that made me fall head over heels for this man.
“We’re not two different people,” he added. “Meeting you wasn’t simply luck, it was fate. You think it was luck that we both happened to have horrific pasts that we wanted to forget? No. I was meant to find you and help you to heal, just as you have done to me. We complete each other, Evie. Can’t you see that? Because when I see you I see everything. I see my greatest challenge, my one and only love, the mother of my children and the beginning of the rest of my life.”
I blinked away the tears that had formed in my eyes, letting them slowly fall down my face.
With a tiny smile, Ryan carefully removed his hand from my chin and, using his thumb, gently wiped my tears away before letting his hand join the other one to rest on my waist.
When I finally found the courage to swallow the lump that was lodged in my throat, I was able to speak. “Ryan, Hawke and I are just friends.”
Ryan’s face suddenly lit up with amusement, and with a raised eyebrow he said, “I just gave you that incredible, heartfelt speech that I thought of all by myself, and the only thing you come up with is ‘Hawke and I are just friends’?”
In a split second, my eyebrows pulled together in confusion then shot up once I’d released how right he was. I wanted to apologize but Ryan’s light carefree laugh filled the air, which suddenly had me confused again.
“I’m just kidding, Bella. I believe you.”
I couldn’t help the smile from forming as I heard him call me by the nickname he had only for me, but the smile was short-lived.
“What do you mean by ‘I believe you’? You don’t even like the poor guy and have never resisted the chance to call him names.”
Ryan shrugged while a mischievous grin took over his face. He was either up to something or he knew something that I didn’t!
“Wait! He told you, didn’t he?” I asked, finally coming to an understanding about what had happened. I tried to pull myself away but I struggled in Ryan’s firm embrace. “That’s how you knew where to find me and that’s how you knew—”
“That you were carrying my child?” he interrupted.
All attempts to pull away were suddenly halted as I froze. My mouth snapped shut and my eyes found the floor. He had me. This wasn’t an argument I had any chance of winning.
“Evie, look at me.”
I didn’t want to. I felt nothing but shame after what I’d done. He had every right to know from the start. I’d wanted to tell him but I just couldn’t find the right time. Would he believe me if I told him that?
“I wanted to tell you,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the floor.
Ryan dropped his hands from my waist and he began walking away. His sudden absence caused the air around me to cool immediately. The sparks disappeared, replaced by a desperate ache to be near him again. I heard his footsteps stop and then what sounded like someone collapsing on the bed.
“Come here,” he called out using an assertive tone. Was he angry?
Unable to look him in the eye, I made my way over to where he was, looking anywhere but at him.
“Evie, look at me please,” he said in a much calmer voice as I stood at the foot of the bed.
Taking a deep breath, I lifted my gaze to meet his. He was lying on his side across the bed, with an elbow propped up and the side of his face resting against his hand while the other one patted the area beside him. “Better. Now, can you come over here and join me?”
Not wanting to argue with him about what we’d already discussed more than once, I crawled into the bed and lay quietly on my back with him looking down over me.
“Yes, it’s true that Hawke was the one who tell me.” With his spare hand, Ryan grabbed a lock of my hair and began twirling it around his fingers. “The guy is actually not half bad once you get to know him, who would’ve thought?” he mused. “Anyway, he’d caught me at a bad time and when he suddenly said he wanted to marry you, I lost it.” Marry me?! Oh no. This couldn’t be good.
I turned to my side. “What did you do, Ryan?” I asked warily.
There was a cunning smile playing on his lips. I could tell he was enjoying replaying whatever memory he had of the moment a little too eagerly.
“Nothing bad. I told you he’d caught me at a bad time.”
“Tell me!” I warned.
“Okay, okay. I punched him. Gave him the best—”
“RYAN!” I raised my arm and swatted his bicep. I knew it didn’t do any harm by the way Ryan continued laughing, which further annoyed me.
“What was I supposed to do? He came to my apartment and started making all these threats about how he was going to take you away from me.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you tell me exactly what he said? I want the full story.”
“Fine,” he said, releasing a sigh. “So, I was at home, he came over, started asking me why I wasn’t fighting for you and saying that you deserved better. Stuff I already knew, but hearing it from him only further aggravated me. Then he admitted that you two had kissed once and just remained friends but if I didn’t get my act together he’d marry you himself. Well then, you know what happened after that.”
I cringed at the thought of poor Hawke allowing himself to get hurt all because of me. I had a lot of making up to do if I ever wanted to be friends
with him again. “And that is it?”
“Nope. I’m getting there, Bella. After the incident I thought he’d go home but the idiot wouldn’t leave. I threatened to hit him again but then he started shouting, saying that you were having trouble sleeping. I told him I didn’t care and reminded him that it was you that left me and that’s when he blurted out the big one. Whoa, it was like a punch in the guts, let me tell you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered knowing it wasn’t going to help the situation but he needed to know I meant it.
“Evie… I have to be completely honest with you about something. After everything I had gone through with Jessica, I was really hoping it was another lie. I knew it wasn’t something you would ever make up but I didn’t want a child, and I was still messed up over our breakup. I started resenting you. I found it easier to hate you than to feel lost and confused.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated in a weak voice.
“A few days later, I spoke with Scott. He told me that I had to confront you and see for myself; he could tell I still loved you no matter how much I tried to deny the thought. And as fate would have it, our next games were against the Angels. So, here I am.”
I wanted to smile, I wanted to throw my arms around him for proving how much I had meant to him, but one thing stopped me. My heart sank. “You said ‘loved’. Why would you risk your career for somebody you once ‘loved’?”
Ryan remained silent for a moment while he played with my hair again. “You were the only thing on my mind the entire flight over; I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on the game even if I stayed. I took off because I realized something important. You are my everything, remember? I risked my career for somebody that I never stopped loving. I came here to tell you that. I didn’t care about the pregnancy thing; I figured we’d work on that but then I saw you standing there inside the restaurant…”
I shifted so that I was looking up at the ceiling again. I didn’t want to hear the next part. He had no idea what it felt like to be pregnant. If he mentioned just one small thing about my weight gain, I swear…
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