Hero Worship (Music City Moguls Book 6)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Everything you’ve said you’re looking for in a partner,” Ryan said. “So I don’t see the problem.”

  “That’s just it. If I ever do decide to walk down the aisle, I want a real partner, not a part-time husband and father.”

  “We can’t choose who we fall in love with. The heart decides for us.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Truth be told, I’m not even sure the head gets a vote.”

  “Is that how it was for you and Bri?”

  “Pretty much.” Ryan laughed. “As soon as I found out she might be interested in someone else, I went a little crazy. Ironically, that someone was Clint. He’s been looking for love for a long time. I have to believe there’s a reason he hasn’t found it.”

  “What do you mean?” Natasha asked, concerned that Ryan may think Clint wasn’t really interested in a long-term commitment.

  “Could be he’s had his eye on a certain someone for a long time and he’s been waiting for her to come to her senses.”

  “You don’t mean me?” Natasha shook her head, laughing in disbelief. “Come on. A guy like Clint doesn’t wait around for a girl.”

  “Maybe he does when he thinks she’s the right one.”

  Natasha considered whether Ryan’s suggestion was even possible. “No way. If he had feelings for me all this time, he would have said something.”

  “I don’t know about that. I think I knew I had feelings for Bri long before I found the courage to tell her. It wasn’t until I realized I’d lose her if I didn’t man up and tell her the truth that I did.”

  “He’s an amazing man,” Natasha said, thinking of how sweet Clint had been to her son. “But he’s not the kind of guy I pictured myself with.” She laughed. “Honestly, it was ridiculous to think I could even get someone like that. I’m just a regular girl.”

  “Maybe that’s what Clint likes about you. You’re strong, independent, determined to make it on your own. I suspect most of the women who show an interest in him are looking for a rich guy to take care of them.”

  “I suppose.” Natasha still wasn’t convinced she had something special to offer Clint. “I’m just concerned about Clint and Austin getting too close before we know whether this can work. I need to protect my son. That’s why I haven’t dated much or introduced him to very many men.”

  Ryan nodded. “I can certainly understand your need to protect your kid, but I happen to think Clint’s influence could be exactly what Austin needs right now. You’ve done a great job with him, but a strong male influence could only help him now. Speaking as a former teen boy, those years can be a lot like a minefield. You have to be careful where to step to avoid the next bomb. Clint knows that. He’s been there. He could help Austin through it.”

  Natasha couldn’t deny it would be nice to have a strong shoulder to lean on for a change, but Austin was her son, her responsibility, not Clint’s. “Clint has enough on his plate without worrying about a kid with a serious case of hero worship.”

  “Ah, so it’s like that, is it?” Ryan smiled. “Austin kind of idolizes Clint?”

  “Yeah, he does.” Natasha sighed. “And I’m not going to lie. That concerns me. Austin’s already overstepped, and I can only imagine what kinds of things he says to Clint when I’m not around.” When Ryan raised an eyebrow in question, she explained, “Clint is giving Austin guitar lessons.”

  “Austin’s never had a father,” Ryan said gently. “It could be he’s just looking for someone to fill that role, and who better than a rich and famous country singer who could make all of his adolescent fantasies a reality?”

  Natasha knew it could be a disaster if she allowed Austin to pin his hopes for the future on Clint. “What do you mean?”

  “We live in a celebrity-obsessed society, hon. Everyone has a fantasy about what it would be like to rub shoulders with the rich and famous. They seem to have this perfect life, and I’m sure a kid like Austin can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be a part of Clint’s world, to enjoy the perks that go along with it.”

  “I don’t want Austin to grow up valuing things more than people,” Natasha said, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten. “I’ve worked really hard to teach him that you don’t need things to make you happy.”

  “I know you have, but he’s a kid. He’s exposed to all different kinds of boys, some of whom have things he might wish he had.”

  “Like a dad, a nice house with a backyard, a dog, electronics…” Natasha sighed, thinking of the endless conversations they’d had about those things over the past couple of years. “Don’t get me wrong, Austin doesn’t try to make me feel guilty about not giving him the things his friends have. He knows I’m doing the best I can, but—”

  “He sees an opportunity with Clint. You can’t blame him for daydreaming about what life would be like with Clint as his stepfather.”

  Natasha rubbed her temple. “We’re getting way ahead of ourselves. Clint and I aren’t even dating. We’re just spending time together. Who knows whether it’ll even move beyond this stage?”

  “Do you want it to?”

  A week ago, she would have said no way, but the time she’d spent with Clint had been the highlight of her week. She couldn’t stop thinking about him when they were apart. “I don’t know.”

  “You want me to talk to him for you, try to figure out where’s his head’s at?” Before she could object, Ryan raised his hand. “I don’t mind. Nothing would make my wife happier than to see you two together. She loves you both, and you know Bri—she wants everyone to get their happy ending just ‘cause we have ours.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I need to figure this one out for myself, Ry.” She walked around the desk when he got up and opened his arms for a hug.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Just know you’re not alone, okay? If you need to talk, me and Bri are always here for you.”

  “Thanks,” she said, kissing his cheek. “You guys are the best. I’m so lucky to have friends like you.”

  ***

  Clint was sitting at the kitchen table when his brother came in. “Hey, you hungry?” Clint gestured toward the platter of eggs and bacon he’d made. “I made enough for everyone. I wasn’t sure if you and Ryland had eaten yet.”

  “Yeah, we had a bowl of cereal before we headed out this morning. He helped me mend some fences.” Den sat across from Clint, reaching for the coffee carafe and a clean mug in the center of the table. “I’m gonna head back out in a bit. I just needed a shot of caffeine to get through the rest of the morning.”

  “How’ve things been going, Den? You like it here?”

  “Sure,” he said, lifting a shoulder. “What’s not to like?”

  Clint had been careful not to put too much pressure on him about the future, but he couldn’t help feeling it was important for his nephew to put down roots. He needed to feel safe and secure, especially with all the upheaval in his life during the past year. “If you like it so much, why won’t you take me up on my offer to build your own place here? I’ve already got the plans since I’ve been meaning to build a guest house ever since I bought the place. Just never got around to it.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but this is your home, not ours. We’ll find our own place.”

  “Come on, Den. You’re a rancher. It’s in your blood just like it’s in mine.”

  “And we both know I can’t afford a ranch of my own, right?”

  The two brothers looked so much alike—both were tall and broad with dark hair and light eyes—but the turmoil in Den’s life made the two-year age difference look more like ten. It pained Clint to see the toll life was taking on his older brother, especially when he knew he could help make things better.

  “Why are you being so stubborn about this? I’ve got over two thousand acres here. Pick five or ten, anywhere you want, and get this damn house built so you and Ryland will have a place to call your own again.”

  “Thanks, but no thanks.” Den worked on his coffee before adding, “I’m sure you
’ll get married eventually. Your new wife won’t want us hangin’ around.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Clint asked, feeling his frustration mount. “You’re my family. You’ve been through hell. Any woman I’d marry would understand that and want to support you.” He thought of Natasha and how compassionate and understanding she’d been when he’d told her about Julie.

  “I can take care of myself and my son without any help from you.” He glared at Clint, but it was easy to see the sadness lurking beneath the anger.

  “What’s really going on with you?” Clint asked. “Why are you fighting me on this?”

  “Because I know before long, you’ll find someone great, get married, have a few kids, and I’ll have to stand by and watch you have the life that was stolen from me when Julie died.”

  Clint swiped a hand over his face. “God, I’m sorry, man. I never thought of it like that. I didn’t mean to reopen old wounds.”

  “They’ve never closed, little brother. I’m beginning to think they never will. There’ll never be another Julie for me. No one else will ever make me feel the way she did. No one’ll ever get to me the way she did.”

  Clint ached for his brother. He couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like to lose the love of his life like that. One minute she had been a part of their lives, and they were making plans for the future, and the next day she was gone.

  “Maybe now you’ll stop pushing so damn hard.” Den stood and gripped Clint’s shoulder as he walked past. “Not that I don’t appreciate you lookin’ out for me, ‘cause I do.”

  “I’ll always be there for you, you know that.” Clint just wished there was more he could do. When Den turned the door handle, preparing to leave, Clint said, “Uh, I’ve invited a friend over tomorrow. She’s got a son Ryland’s age. I thought the boys might hit it off. You’re okay with that, aren’t you?”

  “It’s your place.” Den replaced the cowboy hat on his head with a worn one on a hook by the door. “You can invite anyone you want over. I’ll try to stay out of the way.”

  “I didn’t ask you to stay out of the way. I’d like you to meet Natasha. In fact, I think y’all would hit it off.”

  Den looked over his shoulder, his hand flexing on the doorknob. “Fine, I’ll meet your friend, but if you’re trying to fix me up, don’t get your hopes up. I don’t think I’m ready to start dating again.”

  Clint stared after his brother as the door slammed shut. Natasha and Dennis? Oh, hell no.

  Chapter Seven

  Austin didn’t stop talking the entire ride out to Clint’s ranch. He talked about school, the guitar, his upcoming birthday, horses, Clint’s latest song—anything and everything that might capture his idol’s attention.

  Natasha turned to look at him seated in the backseat of Clint’s pickup truck. “Why don’t you take a breather? You’re probably giving poor Clint a headache with your rambling.”

  Clint shot her a sidelong glance, grinning. “No way, I like listening to him talk.”

  “See, Mom,” Austin said, looking triumphant as he crossed his arms. “I told you Clint likes me.”

  After her talk with Ryan, Natasha had had a talk with her son. She’d tried to warn him against getting too attached to Clint since he’d be going back out on the road soon, but Austin had maintained they were friends and Clint would never bail on him.

  “Of course I like you,” Clint said, looking at Austin in his rearview mirror. “Why would you even question that?”

  “I didn’t,” Austin said, pointing at his mother. “She did. She said I shouldn’t get too close to you ‘cause you’ll be going back out on the road soon and won’t have time for me anymore.”

  Clint’s accusatory look made Natasha wish she hadn’t voiced her concerns.

  “Why would you say that?” Clint asked, flexing his hands on the steering wheel. “Just ‘cause I have to go on tour doesn’t mean I’ll forget y’all. I thought I made that clear when we talked about this.”

  Natasha knew Clint had good intentions, but she also knew life had a way of interfering with the best-laid plans. When he got out on the road, his time wouldn’t be his own anymore. He’d be at the mercy of a team vying for his time and attention and pulling him in a dozen different directions.

  “I know how hard you work and how important your career is to you,” Natasha said, trying not to sound defensive. She had every right to try to protect her son without feeling guilty about it.

  Clint narrowed his eyes, taking his attention from the road when they stopped at a red light. “Just because I have a demanding career doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have a life. Plenty of musicians seem to juggle the two just fine.”

  “Don’t be mad at her,” Austin piped up. “She’s used to thinking the worst. Says she won’t get disappointed that way.”

  Natasha was embarrassed to hear her son parroting those words. She’d said that once when she was feeling down, but she hadn’t intended for him to think it was her mantra.

  “Thinking like that is no way for either of you to go through life,” Clint said, curling his hands around the steering wheel as he accelerated with a little more force than necessary. “Just because you’ve been disappointed doesn’t mean you will be again.”

  Natasha knew it wasn’t fair of her to make assumptions about Clint simply because of his career. He was right—plenty of people in their business managed to balance their music and families. Maybe, given the chance, he could be one of them. Not that she wanted to get ahead of herself. She resolved to try to let her guard down today, to approach the next few hours with an open mind and enjoy getting a peek into Clint’s private world.

  “Oh, wow,” Austin said when they pulled onto a private gravel road. “All this is yours?”

  Clint’s face seemed flushed, as though he was suddenly self-conscious about his expansive spread. “Uh, I grew up on a ranch. I guess it’s kind of in my blood. I tried living in the city, but it just wasn’t for me. That’s why I bought this place.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Natasha said, smiling to ease his discomfort. “I can see why you chose it.”

  “You ever lived in the country?” Clint asked.

  Natasha laughed. “I’ve never even lived in a house before.”

  Clint’s disbelief was evident when he said, “Never? Seriously? Not even when you were growing up?”

  “Nope.” She wasn’t embarrassed about her upbringing. Her parents had worked hard to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads, and she was proud they’d managed to keep their family together, especially during the lean years when her father had been occasionally out of work.

  “If you could live anywhere, would you prefer the city or country?” Clint asked, watching her as his truck crept up the long, tree-lined driveway.

  Natasha hadn’t given it much thought, since owning a home seemed like an impossible dream, but as she admired the wide open fields and the glimpse of horses in the distance, she couldn’t imagine a more perfect place to wake up every morning. “I guess it would be kind of nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city.”

  “Living out here would be awesome!” Austin said, unhooking his seat belt so he could slide across the leather bench seat to see the property from another perspective.

  She was worried that giving her son a glimpse of how someone like Clint lived may be a recipe for disaster. She could never give him this kind of life. “How does your nephew get to school?” Natasha asked, eager to change the subject. “Do you have buses way out here?”

  “No, my brother has to drop him off and pick him up, which I guess is kind of a drag. But Den’s like me—ranching is in his blood.”

  “So you think they’ll stay on here?” Natasha’s breath stuttered when she caught a glimpse of the stone-and-cedar home coming into view. It was nothing like she’d expected. She’d thought he’d have an older home, maybe with several additions that had been added over the years by the various families who’d liv
ed there.

  “I hope so,” Clint said. “I’m trying to talk Den into it, but ultimately, it’s his decision. I can certainly understand why they’d want a place of their own.”

  Looking at his home, it was difficult for Natasha to imagine why anyone would want to live anywhere else. It was perfect. If she’d ever allowed herself to indulge in fantasies and imagine what her dream home would look like, this would have been it.

  “Do you like it?” Clint asked, looking apprehensive. “I know it seems crazy big for one person, but I was kind of looking to the future when I built it. I thought this would be a great place to raise a family someday.”

  She wasn’t surprised he’d built it. It looked like a newer building, but she was surprised to learn he’d built it with a family in mind. In all the years she’d known Clint, he’d only talked about the possibility of settling down recently. She hadn’t thought he was serious. His home indicated that maybe he’d given it more thought than she’d assumed. “It’s perfect, Clint.”

  Clint parked next to the house, and Austin hopped out of the truck. Natasha was about to reprimand her son for getting out before Clint had even cut the engine, but he reached for her arm to still her.

  “Relax. It’s safe for him to explore out here on his own.”

  Natasha wasn’t comfortable with Austin making himself at home on someone else’s property, but she was grateful to have a few minutes alone with Clint. Especially when he was looking at her that way.

  “I have to admit I was a little nervous about bringing you out here.”

  “Why would you be nervous? It’s breathtaking.” That seemed the only word to describe what she’d seen of his home so far.

  “I just didn’t want you to think I was some pompous ass who has to indulge in excesses to feed his enormous ego.”

  She reached for his hand, touched by his self-doubt. “I would never think that. I know you. I know the kind of man you are.” At least she thought she did. But he was showing her facets of his personality that she’d never seen. If she’d thought she was attracted to him before, what she felt now took her to a completely different realm. It was scary but exciting at the same time.